My heart stopped. Everything around me froze, yet my whole body trembled. I wanted so badly to shut my eyes, knowing what was coming. Oh God, not again. Not another person I let in who didn’t even respect me enough to break up with me before hooking up with another girl.

I watched the blonde wrap her arms tighter, and tighter around Harry’s neck. They were going to kiss. I held onto the wall for support, silently watching this all play out in a speed that felt like milliseconds.

I saw Harry’s hands move from their position by his sides, to up, towards her waist. I felt my eyes glistening with tears. Just as I expected him to embrace her, he pushed her, squarely backwards, with quite some force. I didn’t understand what was going on. I knew it must have only been minutes until the countdown.

“This stops here, Cara,” He hissed. “I haven’t seen you in months."

Cara? Cara.. it’s Cara! Cara Delevigne. She pushed him back and swore, he grabbed her by the wrist.

“What is it?” She laughed, drunkenly. “Are you gay now?"

Harry gave her another rattle, and I almost gasped at his temper.

“Stay the fuck away from me, Cara. I wouldn’t touch you again if you were the last person on this earth.” Harry threw her wrist away and she grimaced at his comment. She stumbled to the side, and it was then I realised she was leaving the scene, but she was walking towards me. Shit. I turned to face against the wall and quickly pretended to be on the phone. She walked past me with no interest.

When I looked back around to Harry, he had ran his hands through his hair. I saw the breath leave his mouth in the cold air. Then, he looked straight at me.

“Annie?” He said, quietly.

I froze again.

“Did you see that?” He continued. I nodded. He sighed. “She’s crazy, Annie. She told me she was going to be sick, and all her friends had left her. So we came out here, one minute she’s hunching over, next minute she’s grabbing me."

Harry stopped when he realised I was silent, and probably wore a glazed expression. Just as he walked closer to me, fireworks went off and I knew it was midnight. I wanted to cry at what I had just seen, even though Harry had point blank refused her - something which I never would have thought Harry would have done - it hit me hard. Is this what I would have to deal with? Sure, I saw this one occasion, but what would happen when he was five thousand miles away?

Harry clutched my face in his hands. He leaned down and gave me a small kiss, probably knowing I wasn’t capable of much more.

“She didn’t know about you, Annie. She probably wouldn’t have done that if she did."

I just looked up at him, his green eyes stark against the darkness of the sky behind him. I have no idea why I said what I did next, because I already knew the answer and I should have been celebrating New Years and telling Harry I wanted to be with him, but I had to ask anyway.

“Have you slept with her?” I whispered.
Harry was taken aback. He dropped his hands, and looked at the floor beside us. “Well, we saw each other for a little while.” He looked back at me, straight into my eyes. “Yes, Annie. A while ago,” He sighed.

The next thing I felt was anger. Why? Was it the alcohol mixing with these fucked emotions?

“Oh God Harry, is there one girl inside that house that hasn’t ridden you?” I spat. He almost jumped at my words. “That’s just one of them, isn’t it. God knows how many more there are. You’ve probably been doing exactly what Will did to me.”
“Annie, don’t fucking compare me to that bastard. I’ve made sacrifices for you.” He said, sternly. It was the first time I had seen this mood on Harry since way back when I first knew him.
“Sacrifices? Like your weekly dose of new women, and models, and crazy nights out?”

He stared at me in disbelief, and to be honest if I could have left my body I would have done the same. When he spoke it was clear he was angry, but he still spoke slowly, clearly, quietly.

“Annie,” He began. “I have sacrificed my life, for you, these past months. I have had nothing but rejection, I have listened patiently when you’ve told me you’re still in love with that dickhead, I have put up with all of that - all the while still not knowing if I’ll ever end up with you - because I know there might be the slightest chance that I do.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “So don’t ever say that I haven’t sacrificed things for you. I’ve done nothing but do that and you’ve done nothing but care less."

I didn’t even have anything to say, so I just started crying, like a small child that had done something wrong. I just wanted to cry and have him hold me, and of course, he did. Who was I kidding. This once stern, intimidating, badly-behaved boybander had changed his life for me, and he was right. I had never given back. Not once.

“I’m sorry.” I sighed, managing to stop crying. “Why are we even fighting?”

Harry stifled a small laugh, his arms around my neck, one hand in my hair.

“Annie, I’m only interested in you.” He said. “This is our year.”
“I want to do it.” I said, steadying my breaths in the cold.
Harry looked at me blankly.
“I want to be with you, properly.” I said, getting as close as possible to him. “Lets do it, lets be official."

Harry gave a small, but such an approving grin.

“I always leave my hair in the drain in the shower.” He said. “I sleep diagonally and I snore. I also have this really annoying job that stops me from coming home when I want to.”
I laughed sincerely. “Well, snap, on the hair in the drain thing. Yes, you do sleep diagonally and snore, but I talk in my sleep. Luckily I have quite a few air miles so I’m sure I can visit you. We’ll both just have to make sacrifices.”
Harry grinned fully and kissed the top of my head, bringing me under his chin.

“Can I trust you?” I said after a minute.
“More than trust me.” He said, straight away.

---

We didn’t stay at the party for long, after that. Knowing we only had a few more hours together before Harry was off to New York, we just wanted to go home, to bed together, and make the night drag as long as possible. When we were under the sheets Harry just kept staring at me, then he’d smile to himself. I traced the silhouette of his lips with the tip of my index finger, admiring their fullness. He was genetically perfect, so much so that he made my head swim in wonderment at how I had not seen it sooner.

Harry brought a large, rough hand down the petite structure of my collar bones, down to my breasts. He just let his hand fall onto my hip, watching it as it went. He traced around my belly button, back up and down my arm, along my back and down the backs of my thighs. I looked up at him, aching somewhat at his touch. He looked tired, and all I wanted to do was do something for him.

I picked up his hand and placed it behind him, pushing my way on top of him. I crept down along his body as he watched in amazement, and then I brought down his boxers. I just looked him over one more time before lowering my body to feel him in my mouth. He was exhausted, and didn’t groan, or force me, just let his hands slip in and out of my hair, sighing with euphoria every now and then. When his breaths became more laboured, I sunk my head as low as it could go, over and over again, pumping him. He raised his hips and I met him, swallowing him like it was an honour to do so.

Harry grabbed a hold of me by my elbows, and pulled me up. He rolled me over and placed his head on my chest, his eyes flickering as he tried to stay awake, tried to make the most of the precious little time we had left. But it was useless, tired Harry sleeps, and that’s exactly what he did.

Notes

sorry guys, I know I probably got you all scared for a minute.. but it worked out okay :)