*Three months later

Lana's POV

"Come on! Lana, we have to go back to London next week and everyone else is leaving again, too. This is the last weekend we'll be able to see everyone!"

"I don't care about seeing everyone."

El rolls her eyes and continues trying to convince me. "Everyone wants to go. It'll be fun! Come on, it's Kyle's regular end of the summer party. We've gone every summer for the last five years! We can't skip out now."

"I don't know." Why can't she understand that I don't want to go? Sure, it's been a few months since what happened to me, but the thought of being around at least fifty drunk people makes me nervous. I haven't been to any parties this summer that involved more than ten people. There was one every weekend without fail, but I refused to go. After the first month I finally convinced Harry to go without me once in a while. He went three times. He said he didn't want to have fun without me. It was sweet, but I don't want him to miss out. To cater to my uneasiness, we've had a bunch of bonfires and stuff with smaller groups. That I can handle.

"I promise that nothing will happen to you. Come on, Louis really wants Harry to go and Niall is even here! Harry won't go without you, you know that."

"Wow, you're really trying to guilt me into this."

"What can I say? I'm desperate." I laugh and fold the last of my laundry and put it all away in my closet. "You'll have fun, Lana. Nothing is going to happen. Harry won't let you out of his sight, I can guarantee that."

"You're probably right." I sigh and sit on the bed next to her. "Alright, fine. But I'm not drinking."

"Ah! Thank you!" she squeals. She runs into my closet and I follow slowly. "Now, let's find you something to wear."

"The party isn't for hours," I remind her. It's not even dinner time yet.

"So? We need to look hot!"

"We both have boyfriends."

"And trust me, they'll appreciate it," she says, winking playfully. I laugh and walk up beside her to inspect her choices. "By the way, it's at his dad's house. You know, that one by the woods? so there will be a bonfire and stuff. And I think there's a pool."

"I probably won't swim." El holds up a pair of white shorts and I shrug. They're simple enough; high waisted with some rips in the front. "It's casual, right?"

"Of course. Summer parties always are." She pulls out a crop with a tie in the front. It's a cute combination, so I agree. My hair is already in messy waves, so I'll probably just leave it like this.

"Louis and Harry are together, right?" I ask her while she examines my collection of sandals.

"I think so. And Niall. They went golfing I think."

"Of course they did. Should we invite them over for dinner?"

"Yeah! Tell them to bring something, I don't feel like cooking."

"Good idea." I pull out my phone and dial Harry's number while I walk back to the bedroom. I jump on my bed and lay on my stomach, twirling a strand of hair around my finger while I wait for him to answer.

"Well hello, gorgeous."

A large smile spreads across my face. "Hi. How was your day?"

"Fantastic. I kicked Niall's ass at golf." I can here Niall protesting in the background and Harry just laughs. "What did you girls do?"

"We went out for lunch and got our nails done."

"That sounds relaxing."

"It was. So, do you guys want to join us for dinner at my place?"

"Sure. What are we having?"

"Whatever you bring me."

He chuckles and I can imagine that he's shaking his head at me. "We'll be there in an hour."

"See you soon." He hangs up and I smile to myself while I do the same. Things have been really good with Harry and I this summer. We've spent loads of time with our parents and Gemma visited a few times. She brought her boyfriend with her when she came for two weeks. I can tell Harry isn't too fond of the age gap, but she seems really happy with him. My dad has done his best to work less while I've been home. Brooke came back for a week, so me and El got to see her a bit. It was different though. We're not near as close as we used to be.

Besides my new phobia of parties, the rest of my life has gone back to normal. I still get the occasional nightmare, but they're nothing I can't handle. Harry basically lived with me the last month we were in London, so it's been weird not being in the same bed as him every night. Both of our parents have been very relaxed about sleeping at each other's houses though; I think they realize that when we're gone we are probably doing that anyway. Too late to stop it now! It was weird at first, but I sleep better when he's with me.

I basically had to throw myself at Harry in order for him to sleep with me again. By sleep with me I mean have sex with me. He was being far to cautious with my state of mind. I was completely ready for it, but it was like he was scared of me! It drove me insane. Finally one night when we were watching a movie at his house I convinced him.

*Flashback*

Harry and I cuddle on the couch while watching a movie. I haven't been paying attention, though. I've just been staring at him. I know he knows, but he won't acknowledge me.

"Watch the movie," he whispers without looking at me. I can tell he's trying not to smile.

"I'd rather watch you."

He turns and smiles down at me. He presses a light kiss to my forehead and turns back to the television. I frown and reach up to kiss his neck a few times, hoisting myself a little so I can get better access. After a minute or two of that he finally releases a low moan, which encourages me to fist the front of his shirt and pull him on top of me while I lay back on the couch. His kiss is hesitant at first, but after a bit he deepens it himself. After probably ten minutes of our heated make out session he pulls back and abruptly sits back in his place on the other end of the couch.

"What are you doing?" I ask him, confused and feeling a little rejected. His chest is rising and falling rapidly while his eyes stay trained on the television. "Harry?"

"Don't you want to watch this?" he asks, still not looking at me. I sit up and stare at him in disbelief.

"Are you serious?"

"What?"

"Do I repulse you or something?"

He turns to look at me. "Of course not! Why would you ask me that?"

"I don't understand what just happened! Harry, as soon as things start to get...heated between us you pull away completely! After a while it starts to feel a tad personal," I tell him, trying really hard not to sound like an irrational crazy girl. He stares at me without a word. He looks so unsure of himself, and that doesn't happen a lot for him. "Do you not want to have sex with me?"

He looks a little shocked by my sudden bluntness. "N-no. I mean yes. I mean-"

"Harry. Pull yourself together." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Okay, I'm going to make this really simple for you. Either you take me upstairs right now or I will chop off your man parts."

He lets out a nervous laugh. "What?"

"Well you aren't using them anyway!" I sit with my arms crossed while he stares at me with an amused expression. "Well?"

He suddenly stands and puts one hind under my knees and the other under my back. I giggle and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Let's put my umm...'manparts' to good use," he says, smirking down at me.

"Finally."

*End of Flashback*

"What are you thinking about?" El asks when she emerges with my complete outfit for tonight in her hands. My face goes red from the memory and she raises her eyebrows at me. "Nevermind, I don't think I want to know. Are the boys coming over?"

"Yeah. Harry said they'll be here in an hour. I told him to bring food."

"If Niall is with them I can almost guarantee it will be pizza."

"Probably," I laugh.

- - - - - - - -

"Finally! I'm starving!" El yells when the boys file into my house. She kisses Louis and take the pizza boxes out of his hands; two larges since the boys can usually eat a ton on their own.

"Hi baby," I say quietly to Harry while I wrap my arms around his kneck. I stand on my tippy toes and kiss him. I start to pull away, but he bends down and follows my movements so our lips never part. I giggle against his mouth and he puts one of his hands on the back of my neck to hold me in place. When he finally lets me go he's got the goofiest grin on his face.

"You're in a good mood."

He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose. "I am."

"Are you going to let me eat or..." He hugs me tighter and walks towards the kitchen, me stumbling while walking backwards still pressed against him. I laugh and he eventually gets us to the island and gets a piece of pizza. Instead of taking a bite himself he sticks it in my mouth.

"Thanks."

He takes a bite and finally lets me go. I take the slice out of his hands and walk around him to sit at the island between Eleanor and Niall.

"How's Mia?"

"She's good. I'm excited to get back. She'll be there next Thursday I think."

"Are you guys together yet?"

He laughs and his cheeks go a bit rosy. He said he didn't see the point in making it official before the summer since they would be apart for three months anyway.

"Not yet. I think she's kind of freaked out about it. She's never had a boyfriend before."

"Woah. Seriously? She's so great! How is that possible?"

"I completely agree. I'm just trying to take it slow so she doesn't get freaked out or get scared off or something."

"That's smart. I don't remember you being this smart," I tease, poking his side.

"I don't remember you being this mean," he responds, poking me back.

"Niall, hands off."

We both stop and turn to see a mad-looking Harry glaring at him. What is his issue. He was all happy and smiles not five seconds ago. Niall and I both go back to silently eating our pizza, an awkward silence hanging over the room. Why did he have to do that. El takes it upon herself to restart some conversation, which I could not be more grateful for.

When the pizza is polished off I take Harry's hand to keep him in the kitchen so we can talk without everyone hearing.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nope. Everything is great." His tone holds a hint of sarcasm.

"What happened with Niall was nothing," I assure him.

"I'm not mad."

"Yea, you kind of are."

"Oh, so you're a mind reader now?"

My mouth drops open, but I quickly shut it again. What the actual fuck is his deal?

"Harry, what is your problem?"

"I don't have one. Drop it." His tone is quiet but hard. It scares me a little. Since he got back months ago I've been getting these small glimpses of a part of him that I don't know. An angry, possessive, and kind of mean side of him that I've never seen before. I don't know how to handle it.

"We need to make a liquor run!" El says while I sit down on the couch beside her. Harry sits on the recliner on the other side of the room.

Louis looks confused. "Why?"

"You guys are so forgetful Kyle's party is tonight! Lana and I are going too!"

"You are?"

I can feel Harry and Louis both staring at me. Louis looks extremely surprised, but kind of in a good way. Harry on the other hand...he looks more pissed than he was before.

"Umm..yeah. El convinced me."

"That's awesome!" Lou exclaims, reaching across Eleanor and patting my leg. I smile nervously and look back at Harry. He's staring at me expressionless. When he doesn't look away I start to feel nervous, so I do. I fiddle with my fingers and concentrate on peeling off the remaining chipped nail polish on my fingers.

"Why is this such a big deal?" Niall asks. Shit I forgot he doesn't know. Maybe I should just tell him...he's one of my best friends. I feel bad that he's the only one that doesn't know.

"It's umm....Niall, can we talk for a sec?" I ask, standing up. He looks at me curiously and slowly stands as well. As I walk to the stairs Harry finally speaks.

"Lana. Don't."

I turn and look at Harry. His hands are clenched into fists and he's standing now. We exchange a knowing look. He knows what I'm about to tell Ni. Obviously it bothers him that I would tell Niall something so personal. Harry has issues when it comes to him.

"It's my secret to tell."

He walks towards me, eyes trained on mine. "Why do you need to tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Niall sounds confused as ever.

"He's my friend. I want him to know."

"I thought you said it's personal," he says in a frustrated tone.

"It is. To me. It's my decision," I remind him. I'm trying really hard not to yell at him.

"You shouldn't be telling people!"

"Really? And who did you tell?" I spit angrily. We are long over this fight, but even still. He told that little friend of his. I make the decision about who knows what happened to me, not him. "You don't tell me what to do Harry. I want to tell him. Now you drop it." He looks even more pissed off as I turn and walk up the stairs with Niall following behind me. When we get to my room Niall shuts the door.

"Wow, no one ever puts Harry in his place like that," he says, laughing a little. Leave it to Niall to make this situation feel lighthearted as ever. I take a deep breath and give him a forced smile. "What's going on, Lana?"

"I need to tell you something. The reason I've been acting so weird this summer and I haven't been going out or anything is umm..." I take a deep breath and he gives me a nervous look. "Something happened at school in the spring. Right before exams."

"Okay..." I'm not sure how to say this out loud...I haven't actually spoken the words before. I can see on his face that he can tell that I'm having a hard time. He sits on the edge of the bed and pats the spot next to him. "You can tell me anything, you know that. If you don't want to, that's fine. If you do, that's okay too."

"Okay. Well, remember when we were at that party and we all left early? Harry was acting weird..."

"Umm.." he thinks for a minute and nods slowly. "Yeah. I remember. We all piled into my tiny little car."

"Yeah. Well the reason we left was because umm...something happened to me."

He pulls his eyebrows together. "What do you mean?"

"Well I got really drunk. El left me alone to get me water or something and after she left this guy came. He offered to help me to bathroom because I wasn't feeling well. But ummm..."

"Woah Lan, what....what happened? Did he hurt you?"

"No! No, he didn't." He relaxes and pats my leg.

"Good. Shit, you had me scared," he says, laughing slightly in relief.

"He tried," I whisper. Niall's head snaps up to mine and he looks fearfully into my eyes.

"What?"

"He brought me to a bedroom instead of a bathroom." I look down at my lap while I explain. It's weird saying it out loud. "He had me trapped. He managed to get my jeans off, but Harry came in after that and stopped him. He came in before anything else could happen. He didn't hurt me. But he scared the hell out of me. That's why I haven't gone to any parties. And it's why Harry is probably going to be weird when we go to this one."

Niall's POV

"Niall, please say something."

I've been silent for a few minutes now, but I don't know what to say. I remember the exact day she's talking about now. She was fighting with Harry. She ran out of my place crying and then we all went to that party. They were both upset. Harry was being moody, as usual. Lana got drunk apparently. And then some idiot tried to...

I stand up without a word and storm downstairs. I can hear Lana behind me. When I get down Harry is leaning against the back of the couch, not far from where he was a few minutes ago when he and Lana we arguing. He looks up at me, but before he can open his arrogant mouth I yell at him.

"Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" I yell. He narrows his eyes and opens his mouth to yell back, but I cut him off again. "Who do you think you are, Harry? I'm so fucking sick of you hurting her! She doesn't deserve this! She deserves so much better than you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he yells back. Lana comes and stands sort of between us.

"Do you realize how much shit she's had to go through because of you?"

"Niall, what are you doing?" Lana asks quietly.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Harry yells.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're terrible for her. How can you not see that?"

He gets a half amused, half pissed off look in his eyes. "Who would be better, Niall? You?"

I guess this was going to come out eventually.

"You know what? Probably. Anyone would be better than you. You're the reason all this bad stuff has happened to her. If you hadn't been an ass as per usual she wouldn't have been drunk and alone at that party."

"You don't think I know that? You don't think I haven't said all of that to myself already? I love her, Niall. I know she's too good for me, but I can't walk away. Even if I did, would you seriously date her?"

"Of course not! That's why I've never told her how I feel! I would never do that to you. But I care about her and enough is enough. You're ruining her life."

"So you do have feelings for her?" he confirms. I really was hoping the feelings I developed for Lana over the last few years wouldn't come up, but I guess it was bound to happen. I would never do anything about it. She's one of my best friends and Harry is like a brother to me. I would never actually go for her. I wouldn't want to risk losing either one because I know Lana would never feel the same about me. The weird thing is, I'm completely okay with it. I don't want to ruin either friendship. Even when I started to like her after Harry was gone, I never had any interest in doing something about it. It would be weird. So, I kept it to myself. Plus I have Mia now. I really do like her.

"Yeah. I do." All the amusement leaves his face. After a five minute staredown between he and I he slowly turns his gaze to Lana.

"Do you believe me now?"

Lana's POV

I don't understand what's happening. Niall has feelings for me? Why is he blaming everything on Harry? Why does he want harry to leave, why does he want me to be miserable again? Harry's eyes are mixed with anger and sadness. His best friend...

I look away from Harry and at Niall, who is still staring at Harry. He looks completely pissed and not embarrassed at all.

"Niall?"

He slowly turns to look at me with a sort of...nonchalant expression.

"I wasn't going to tell you. It doesn't matter, I know nothing would ever happen and that's totally fine with me. You're on of my best friends Lan. I would never ruin that. But I'm not going to stand by while Harry continues to hurt you!"

"It wasn't his fault! How dare you say something like that! Niall, I told you because you are my friend, not so that you could do this, what ever this is," I say, gesturing between the two boys.

"Lana, can you not see what he's doing to your life? He's made you so miserable and you've gone through so much shit since he came into your life."

"I can't argue that it has been...difficult." I steal a glance at Harry and he looks back with sad eyes. "Despite all the shit we've been though, he's made me happier than I've ever been." He relaxes slightly and I look back at Niall. "It's not your job to protect me. I can take care of myself."

"I'm tired of watching you get hurt," Niall says. "And it's because of Harry."

"No, it isn't."

"Damn it, Lana! Yes it is! You just can't see it right now."

I stand directly in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders. "Listen to me. None of this is Harry's fault. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we care about each other. I love that you're trying to be a good friend, but this isn't your decision, okay?"

He stares into my eyes for a minute before sighing and removing my hands from his shoulders. "Fine. You'll see it eventually. I'll see you tonight."

Niall storms out and leaves the four of us standing in complete silence. I slowly turn around and meet Harry's eyes. For once I can't read him.

"What the hell just happened?" Louis suddenly says.

"Harry?" I take a step towards him and he continues to watch me without moving. "Please say something," I whisper as I take another step.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks. There's something in his eyes....I can't tell what.

"Anything."

"I'll umm...I'll see you at the party." He turns and walks out of my house without another word. Right, like I want to go to a party now.

Notes

so im going to try to post the next chapter tonight. itll be a continuation of this one

what do you think will happen at the party??