*about a month later (May 27th)

Harry's POV

I pace nervously outside the exam room while I wait for Lana to finish. Today is her last one and tomorrow we'll be going back to Holmes Chapel for the summer. She got offered a job here, but she wants to go home. She wants to be with her dad. I think the change in scenery would be the best thing for her. She needs to be away from this place for a little while.

The first few days after she was attacked were definitely the worst, and she woke up with nightmares at least once a night for the first few days. Now they aren't as bad and she usually doesn't end up screaming as a result, but most nights I can hear her whimpering in her sleep.

She's been very jumpy and she doesn't like to be alone a lot. I've basically been living at her place. I drive her to and from campus, to the grocery store, the mall; anywhere really. She doesn't like to be alone and I don't want her to be. I've been held up in her room for the last month helping her study for her exams. The nice thing about the timing was that I think they distracted her from everything. I think.

She still seems so nervous and jumpy all the time, though. Even though she knows I'm there, she still jumps when she walks into a room and sees me. If I touch her at all, she flinches away. Even if she sees me reach out to her, she still jumps back slightly. So, I haven't tried to. Sometimes I'll forget and accidentally hold her hand or something. I can't help it; it's a conscious effort to keep myself from doing all the things that feel so natural with her.

I have to admit, I am impressed with how well she's doing. Besides being constantly nervous, she's been able to function pretty normally. She got through her classes fine, and now she's writing her last exam of the year. She knew pretty much all the material inside out and backwards, so I know she'll do great.

My phone starts vibrating in my pocket, and when I pull it out I see Andrea's name on the screen.

"Hello?"

"How's it going?"

Andrea's been a great friend to me these last few weeks. I haven't thought about her much since we broke up, but she's very similar to the way I remember her. Everyone heard about what happened at the party somehow, so she knew before I told her. I haven't left Lana's side, but I have been talking to Andrea a lot on the phone. Her sister went through the same thing, so she gives me advice on how to help Lana. She's also the only one I'm able to vent to. I'm so worried about Lana all the time. I don't sleep well. It's been rough. She's helped me a lot.

"Fine. Lana's writing an exam right now. Her last one," I inform her, leaning against the wall a bit farther down from the classroom so I can talk normally.

"That's exciting! Was she ready for it?"

"Yeah, I think so. She's brilliant, though, so I know she'll do great."

She laughs and I can almost hear her eyes rolling. "You're so corny. Anyway, I have a proposition for you."

"Okay."

"I know you've been hidden away with Lana for the last few weeks, so I was hoping maybe we could all hang out tonight? There's a live band playing at the cafe Lana used to work at. I was hoping to get to know the girl that has you so whipped."

I laugh at that comment. It's kind of true. "Don't you know Lana?"

"I've met her a few times, yeah, but I don't really know her. Do you think she'll be up for it?"

"I don't know. I'll ask her. How did your last exam go?"

"Smashed it. Obviously. Okay, text me when you talk to Lana about tonight! Bring the rest of them too if you want. Should be a good night."

"Okay. Thanks, Andie. See you later."

"Yep, bye."

I hang up and smile at the photo of Lana and I that is set as the wallpaper on my phone. She's sticking her tongue out with her eyes closed and I'm kissing her cheek. It's quite adorable, if I do say so myself.

This whole thing about going out with Andrea makes me nervous. I haven't exactly told Lana about her. I don't know why. I don't have feelings for her or anything and Lana would probably get along with her. For some reason I just feel like it would bother her that I've been talking to her so much.

I shake off the thought and think of a second thing I'll have to talk to Lana about soon. In just a few days I need to decide what program I'll be entering in the fall. I haven't even told Lana that I got in yet. So much has happened and it just didn't seem important. I got into a pre-med health science program, physiotherapy, and law. Apparently I want to work my ass off next year. How am I ever going to decide what to do?

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when the door to the exam room opens and a few students file out, Lana not being one of them. People are starting to finish though, so that's a good sign. It's been just over two hours already. Lana should be done soon.

After another twenty minutes she finally comes out, a small smile on her face. Her face drops a little and she looks around slightly, then head in the opposite direction of me. She must not see me. I walk quickly towards her.

"Lan!" I call. I instantly regret it when she jumps and spins around, eyes wide. She relaxes when she sees me. I'm so dumb. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," she says smiling and waiting for me to catch up to her. When I do she matches my pace and walks beside me, arms brushing. I keep my hands in my pockets so I don't do anything else to scare her.

"How did it go?"

"It was really hard, to be honest. I think I did okay, though. You didn't have to wait for me. You must be bored out of your mind."

"I don't mind. I don't have anything else to do anyway." She smiles up at me and we exit the building to make our way to my car. "Anything you want to do today? You're officially done your second year!"

She laughs a little. "I guess I am. Maybe we could go to that farmer's market?"

I open the door to my truck for her and she hops in. "We could do that." I shut it and walk around to my side, then start the car and start the drive towards the place she's talking about. "What do you want from there?"

"I was thinking we could have a nice dinner tonight. No more take out," she says, nose wrinkling slightly at the thought. We've been living off pizza, Chinese, McDonalds and pretty much anywhere else we could find where we didn't have to make food or could have it delivered to the front door.

"That sounds great. What do you want to have?"

"That is for me to know and you to find out," she says cutely. I chuckle to myself and shake my head.

"I don't like surprises."

"Yes you do."

"Okay fine, but I also like being in on the secret."

She laughs and turns on the radio. "Patience, young grasshopper."

"Excuse me?" I ask, laughing at her term.

She looks at me in confusion. "I don't know why I said that." I just laugh and shrug my shoulders.

"Fair enough."

After an hour at the market, Lana is finally content with the selections we've made. I haven't got a clue what she's planning to make, but she's having fun keeping it to herself so I leave it alone. She stares down at her phone on the drive back, probably looking at a recipe. When I try to lean over to see it, she hides it against her chest.

"Mind your own business, Styles."

"Come on, just give me a hint. Just a little one," I say, holding my fingers up and creating a small space between my thumb and finger.

"Fine. It's food."

"Seriously?"

"What? You said little."

"Well played."

---

"Harry?"

"Yeah, babe."

"Can you come help me for a minute?"

I pause the movie and walk over to the kitchen where Lana is chopping vegetables. I see the onion beside her and she smiles at me with a sort of pleading look.

"No. I know where this is going," I say, pointing a finger at her and back away.

She drops her knife and walks towards me. "Please?" I shake my head and continue backing into the kitchen.

"I will not be your onion chopper again."

"It's not like I haven't seen you cry before," she teases.

"First of all, that's mean. Second, you've made me do this so many times! It's not fair!"

"Harry, that was ages ago," she reasons, following me to the living room. I lay down on the couch and shake my head again. She sighs when I push play on the movie. I smile at her innocently and turn my head back to the TV.

My whole body freezes when she crawls on top of me, one leg on either side of my body. She stops when her face is hovering over mine. I stay completely still. What do I do!?

"Please?" she asks again quietly. He face is dangerously close to mine. We haven't kissed since the party. I feel my heart rate rise dramatically when her eyes flicker between mine and my lips quickly. "I'd be really grateful."

"Would you?"

She nods and lowers her waist so that she's sitting on my stomach but still leaning over my face. She brushes my right cheek with her fingertips. "But I guess I could do it myself."

With that she climbs off of me and walks back to the kitchen, not looking back once. I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding and sit up slowly. What just happened? I collect myself and walk into the kitchen, standing as close as possible beside her without actually touching.

"Give me the knife." I admit defeat and hold out my hand for it while I take the onion in my other hand. It's already peeled and ready to go.

"Thanks baby," she says sweetly. She rubs her hand across my back when she steps around me to get something out of the fridge. All of this sudden proximity is starting to get to me.

"So now that I'm doing this, are you going to tell me what you're making?"

"No, but I'll give you another hint."

"Fine." I start chopping and she stands beside me again, leaning against the counter and facing away from all the vegetables she chopped.

"Not like that!" She says suddenly.

"What?"

"I want them in longer strips," she clarifies, taking the knife and showing me what she wants.

"You're good at that," I compliment. "Maybe you should do it."

"Nice try. Back to it." I frown and take the knife back.

"So what's my hint?"

"Umm..it's messy."

I raise my eyebrows at her and she smiles at me. "Good to know."

After another hour of her cooking and preparing the table nicely, I have finally figured out what we're having. Fajitas. I sat at the table while Lana was getting it ready the entire time drilling her with questions and guesses. She was quite amused with how clueless I was.

"It smells incredible," I compliment. She sets a bottle of wine on the table and finally joins me. There's quite the spread. She even lit a candle.

"Thanks. Go ahead." She gestures to the food and I give her a smile before taking one of the wraps on my plate and starting to dumb chicken and vegetables and cheese and salsa on it. As I'm about to try and stuff it in my mouth she suddenly stops me.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Before we eat all this oniony food and get bad breath..." she stands and walks around the corner of the table to where I'm sitting. She slowly lowers herself onto my lap, which again makes me freeze. She puts her hands on either side of my face and smiles as she leans down towards me. She looks nervous. After what feels like forever I feel her lips against mine. I'm too stunned to react. My mind is screaming at me to kiss her back, but what if I freak her out? I don't want to scare her. She pulls away after a few seconds and makes me look at her.

"Kiss me," she demands. I look between her eyes for a minute and she gives me a small nod, telling me she really is okay. I hesitantly bring my hand to the back of her neck and pull her back down so I can reattach our lips. I move them slowly against hers and keep my tongue to myself to see if she actually is okay with this. She pulls back after a minute or two and leans her forehead against mine.

"You're allowed to kiss me, you know," she says. She pulls back farther and looks at me adoringly while her fingers run through me hair.

"I didn't want...I just thought you wouldn't..." I close my eyes briefly and take a deep breath. Complete sentence. "I wasn't sure if you would want me to."

"You've seen you, right? Why wouldn't I want you to kiss me?"

"Every time I touch you it scares you."

"No it doesn't," she argues, confusion in her eyes.

"Whenever I touch you you flinch, Lan." She looks between my eyes for a few minutes before she speaks.

"I do?" She bites her bottom lip and looks slightly away from me. "I didn't realize."

I nod and can't help but feel confused as well. "It doesn't freak you out?"

"Of course not, Harry. I love you. I'm not afraid of you."

I breathe a sigh of relief and smile up at her. "That's really nice to know."

"That's why you've been so distant?"

"I was trying to give you space. I figured when you were ready you'd let me know."

"I thought you didn't want me anymore," she admits quietly. "I thought maybe because he tried to....that you don't see me the same."

"Are you kidding? Baby, you're the most beautiful girl on the planet. I was just trying to be sensitive to your feelings. I'm sorry if I made you feel unwanted."

She smiles and kisses me quickly before going back to her own chair.

"Now that we have that out of the way," she jokes, winking at me. "I'm starving."

---

Lana's POV

As Harry and I finish cleaning up dinner I think about what he said to me earlier. Do I really jump every time he touches me? I can't imagine how that makes him feel. I need to be more aware of him. I really do feel a lot better these last few days. My nightmares aren't so bad anymore and I've been sleeping through the night. I don't feel as anxious or paranoid as before. Sometimes it feels like Harry is expecting me to fall apart at any moment. I think he forgets that he saved me before anything really bad could happen. I wasn't violated at all, except for a few sloppy kisses. The whole thing just had me a bit shaken up.

"Harry, did you find out about school yet?"

"Yeah. I was actually going to talk to you about that today but I completely forgot." I hand him another dish to dry and wait for him to explain. "I got into pre-med, law and physiotherapy."

"Harry! That's fantastic!" I want to hug him, but my hands are wet and soapy, so I settle for bumping my hip against his. He smiles and puts the dish away."Do you know what you want to do yet?"

"No. I have no idea how to choose and I have to let them know in a few days."

"Well, I've heard that being a lawyer isn't all it's cracked up to be. The pay is good, but the job isn't much fun." I don't want to persuade him, but all the lawyers I've met are miserable and hate their jobs. The money just isn't worth it.

"I just wanted to see if I could get in, to be honest. I always wanted to be a lawyer when I lived in Bradford because they were always the ones with fancy cars and massive houses. I wanted to live like them when I got away from all of my problems."

It's weird how comfortable I am now when Harry talks about his life in Bradford. I no longer feel any bitterness towards the place he used to call home.

"So it's not something you want to do?"

"Not really."

"Well, that's one off the list I guess." He laughs and nods in agreement while I continue to hand him dishes to dry. "What about pre-med?"

"How cool would it be to become a doctor," he gushes. "I just don't know if I want to go through all the extra schooling. That's why I applied for physio. I would be dealing with injuries and rehabilitation and all that, and I could still open up my own practice or something."

"Don't be lazy," I tease. "If you really want to be a doctor, I think you could do it."

"Really?"

"Of course. But, if you want to do physiotherapy that would be great, too."

"Wow, thanks so much for helping me decide," he says sarcastically as I hand him the last plate.

"Harry, it's your decision. I can't make it for you."

"I know, but I don't know what to do," he whines. He puts the plate away and hangs up the dishcloth.

"Have you talked to your mum about it?"

"Yeah. She just said I would be great no matter what. That woman is no help."

I laugh and take his hand to lead him to the couch. He flops down and runs his hand through his hair. He looks deep in thought. I lay down with my head on his lap and he absentmindedly plays with my hair.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

He looks down at me and rests his free hand on my stomach. "I was thinking that I need to get gas before we drive back tomorrow." I roll my eyes and he laughs. "Do I have to decide now?"

"No, you have a few days, right?"

"Yeah." I feel his phone vibrate through his jeans and he struggles to remove it from the tight pants. When he reads the text he looks back down at me. "I totally forgot this too. A friend of mine invited us to go to see a band at Conversations."

"You have friends other than us," I joke, poking his stomach. He rolls his eyes and laughs a little.

"Yes, actually."

"That could be fun. It's our last night in the city. Might as well do something." El and Louis already went home and Niall is probably spending time with Mia before she goes home too. He's the only one staying here, but he promised he'd visit us a lot. I still feel bad that I never told him what happened. I asked everyone not to but I have no idea how he didn't hear it from someone. Everyone found out. I just haven't seen him much the last few weeks with exams and everything else.

"Great. I'll text her and tell her we're coming," he says, leaning down to kiss my forehead then turning back to his phone.

Wait. "Her?"

He looks at me for a minute with a look that tells me he didn't mean to let that piece of information slip.

"Uh..yeah."

"Where did you meet a girl?" I ask, sitting up and turning to look at him.

"I didn't. I knew her before."

"And you just happened to fail to mention her? Who is she?"

"We were friends in Bradford before she moved here." I can tell there's something else that he isn't telling me by the nervous look in his eyes.

"Just friends?" She's probably one of the little sluts he hooked up with before he moved to Holmes Chapel.

"Well...we went out for a while." His tone is careful and his voice is quiet.

"You what?" Harry told me that he had never dated anyone before me, that it wasn't really his thing.

"It's not a big deal. We were like fourteen. Then she moved and we broke up."

"Actually, it kind of is a big deal. Where did you see her?"

"The party. She's the one who told me you were there."

"Wait, I know her?"

"She said she's met you a few times. Her name is Andrea Pritchett."

"I don't know..." WHAT!! Andrea?? Ugh. I have met her. She's friends with Eleanor and she's absolutely gorgeous. She's also a slut. "You dated her?" I ask, shock clear in my voice.

"Kind of." I exhale sharply and look away from him. "It's not a big deal, Lan."

"Wait, wait. You saw her again a month ago and she's inviting you to hang out...how much have you been talking to her?"

He scratches his head and looks away from my eyes. "A bit."

"How much is a bit?"

"She's been helping me, giving me advice. Her sister went through the same thing as you-"

"You told her?" I practically yell, standing up from the couch.

"Of course not! Everyone kind of knew, Lan. She asked me if it was true. What was I supposed to do? Lie?"

"Yes! It's personal, Harry! I don't know her!"

He stands as well. "She was just trying to help. I had no idea how to be here for you. I don't know how to handle this kind of thing. She helped me. She was just someone for me to talk to."

Tears start to form in my eyes. Why couldn't he talk to me? I know he didn't cheat, but for some reason it feels like he did. Why couldn't he tell me that he was feeling lost through this whole thing? I don't care if he did the exact right thing, it just meant the world to me that he was here. That's all I wanted.

"So you vented to your ex girlfriend about your problems with your new one?" I clarify, trying really hard to keep my voice even.

"It wasn't like that. We were kids, Lan. We were friends practically our whole lives."

"I don't care! You talked to her instead of me, Harry. How do you think that makes me feel?"

He sighs and takes a small step towards me. It takes everything in me not to mimic it to keep some distance between us. "I'm sorry. I didn't think of it that way. Seeing you go through all of this had been hard for me because I love you. She helped me."

"Why didn't you let me help you?" I ask, tears finally spilling over. Maybe I'm over reacting about this, but I don't care. I can't explain why, I just feel so betrayed. This is something very personal that we're going through, and he's talking to an ex-girlfriend of all people.

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

We stare at each other for a minute or two before I reach up and wipe a few tears from my cheeks. "I'm going to go finish packing."

"Do you want me to help you?"

I shake my head. "It's okay."

He nods and I go into my room, but I leave the door open. I haven't decided how upset I am about this. I just need some time to relax and think it through. The fact that he never once told me he dated someone just irks me for some reason. If it really didn't mean anything, why hide it? I guess the argument could go both ways...if it didn't mean anything, maybe he didn't think to bring it up. I don't know what to think. I know that it makes me mad that he talked to her about our situation, though. Ex or not, he shouldn't be talking to someone I don't even know about this stuff. If It was El or Louis I would probably be okay with that because they're my best friends. I don't know Andrea very well, and the little I do know I'm not extremely fond of. This recent update doesn't exactly help that.

I take my time folding all of my clothes and packing all the stuff I need to take home with me. Harry is already packed; he didn't have much here anyway. All of his stuff is already in the truck. I glance out of the room every once in a while to check if he's still there. He lays on his back on the couch the whole time watching TV. He really has been incredible. I don't know what I would do without him. Maybe I should just let this go...

"I think I'm going to go to sleep," I announce after emerging from the bathroom, teeth brushed and PJs on. Well, one of Harry's tops and his boxers.

He nods and watches me carefully. "Okay."

When I'm in front of my door I turn and lean against the frame. His eyes are still on me.

"You're staying tonight, right?" I ask quietly.

"Do you want me to?"

I nod and fold my arms. "Please."

"I'm going to make sure my stuff is all packed. I'll be right back." He stops when he gets past the couch and turns back to me. "Do you umm...do you want me to sleep on the couch?"

"No," I reply simply. He seems to sigh in relief as he turns back to the door. He smiles at me before he pulls it shut. I turn and crawl under the covers, trying desperately to stay awake until Harry returns.

I open my eyes and frown at the empty bed beside me. Did I fall asleep? It could be my mind tricking me, but I could swear I just heard the door click shut. My heart jumps into my mouth when I hear footsteps, but no lights flip on. Harry would come straight in here, but no one appears in my room. Someone is in here! I slowly and quietly get out of bed and walk noiselessly to the closet to get one of my shoes. I have nothing else! I stand on one side of the door pressed up against the wall when I finally hear the steps make their way to the room. When they're in the door I swing my arm out as hard as I can, getting my intruder directly in the gut. He lets out a groan and when he bends over in pain I see the familiar curls that belong to my boyfriend.

"Harry?" I flip the light switch and my hand flies to my mouth when I realize I just attacked him.

"I know you're mad, but violence is never the answer," he says, voice strained.

"Shit, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was you."

"Who else would it be?"

"I don't know!"

He laughs softly and stands up straight, hand still over the place where I hit him. "Good to know you can defend yourself. That actually hurt."

My cheeks turn red and I drop the shoe while I jump back onto the bed and hide my face in embarrassment. I totally overreacted.

He laughs and turns off the light before climbing into bed with me. "Goodnight, Lan. See you in the morning. That is, if I don't die from internal bleeding."

"Shut up," I mutter, snuggling up against his side. He laughs and puts an arm around me.

"Goodnight."

Notes

thanks so much for all the suggestions! i feel like im at a weird place with this story cuz of the whole summer break thing, so do you guys think i should just skip ahead to school? or like just before they start or something?

i definitely took the suggestions i got into account. dont worry, i will explain the niall thing! it is coming, i promise :) keep sending me your suggestions! the story is for you guys, so tell me what you might want to see happen!

thanks for reading :) keep commenting! if you havent, vote and subscribe! thank youuu.xx