Eleanor's POV

My mind has been racing all night. I turn onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, giving up. I don't think I've slept one minute since we got back from the party. I should have never left her. How could I have been so stupid? This is all my fault. I shouldn't have left her. If I had just stayed by her side that creep wouldn't have been able to touch her. I've never even seen that guy before.

I can't wrap my brain around what happened....Lana was almost raped. That's the kind of thing you hear about in the news or see on TV, you don't think it'll actually happen to your best friend. I should have been there. I should have been right beside her. He never would have tried to...

"Stop blaming yourself."

i turn my head to see Louis laying on his side, eyes still closed. After a minute he opens them and wraps an arm around me, pulling me against his body.

"It isn't your fault," he says quietly, kissing my temple.

"Yes, it is."

"El, stop torturing yourself. It isn't your fault and she's fine. We got there in time."

"What if we hadn't?" I ask, pulling away from him and throwing the covers away from my body. I stand and start pacing. "What then? What if we hadn't gotten in the room? Do you realize what would have happened then? I shouldn't have left her alone. I'm the reason she was there in the first place!"

He stands and walks over to me, putting his hands on my arms to stop me from walking. "You didn't do this. Do you understand me? Stop blaming yourself. That's not going to help anything. We just need to be there for Lana right now. Okay?"

I nod my head and close my eyes to try and stop the tears, but it's no use. Louis wraps me up in his arms and holds me tight against his body while I cry. Nothing happened to me, but I feel so shaken up. When I finally get myself under control he pull me into the bathroom.

"Louis, I'm really not in the mood," I say as he closes the door.

"I know. We're going to have a nice relaxing bath. Then we're going to go see our friends."

---

Harry's POV

When I open my eyes I'm instantly aware of Lana's body beside mine. I relax my arm a little; I'm surprised she's even asleep I was holding on to her so tight. I'm actually surprised that she's asleep at all after what she went through.

I'm such an idiot. If I hadn't been such a dick and yelled at her when she tried to apologize, none of this would have happened. We would have either been home together or we would have been together at that party. Even if she still would have gotten that drunk, I wouldn't have left her alone. Not a chance. Then that prick wouldn't have attacked her. I should have been there with her.

I keep my arm around her and lean my head on my hand so I can look down at her. I can't believe she thought I was mad at her. Everyone else, yes. Myself? Oh yeah. Her? Not even close. I figured she would still be pissed at me for what I said to her when she tried to apologize. Fuck, this is messed up.

If Lana hadn't been in the room I probably would have killed that guy. She was scared enough after what I actually did to him. I didn't want to make it worse. So I just made sure he wouldn't get up for a while. Lana's face when I got into that room...that's an image I don't think I'll be able to forget. She was so terrified. Then last night when I stepped towards her and she backed away from me. Like she was scared of me. I guess it's normal that she'd be a little jumpy, but she's not going to be afraid of me now, is she?

I'm pulled out of my worrying when Lana twitches under me. She swivels her head around a few times, eyebrows pulled together. Suddenly she kicks one of her legs out, getting me hard in the shin. Damn she can kick hard. She starts squirming around, slowly at first. She starts whimpering a little, but I can't understand what she's saying. Slowly her movements become more intense and she starts screaming. She starts flailing her legs and she wraps her hands tightly around my arm, trying to push it away.

"No! No! Stop! Get away from me!"

My stomach clenches at the sheer terror in her voice. Her nails dig into my skin as I attempt to keep my arm around her to try and comfort her in some way. I put my other arm around her as well and hold tight to her to try and stop her from struggling.

"No! Please don't!" She screams again as tears stream down her face.

"Wake up. Please, baby wake up," I say desperately, tears escaping from my own eyes. I hold her tighter when she pushes against my chest, whimpering and begging for whoever is attacking her to stop. "Lana, come on. Wake up. Please."

She suddenly gasps and pushes against me again, eyes jolting open and looking around frantically. "No, no. Stop it," she begs again, voice soft and uneven. She keeps looking around and pushing against my chest.

"Lana, look at me." I put my hands on either side of her face and force her to look at me. She looks confused for a second, but then her body goes still and she stares back at me. "It's just me. It was a dream. You're safe, you're okay," I assure her, running my thumbs along both her cheeks. She still looks confused, but she isn't struggling anymore.

"He...he was..." she closes her eyes and the tears start falling again.

"I know," I whisper. "He's not here. You're safe, I promise. I won't let him hurt you ever again." I wipe the first few away and put my arms back around her to hug her close to me. Lana stiffens at first, but after a minute or two her body relaxes. Instead of one of her arms going around my waist, she keeps them against her chest in between us. I rub slow circles against her back while she cries against my chest. I don't know how to help her with this. I wish I could make her forget it completely, but I can't. I can't make the go away. I can't make it better. And that kills me.

"Can I get you something? Do you need anything?" I ask after a while. I think she's stopped crying, but I'm not sure. She shakes her head and rolls onto her back while she wipers her tears-stained cheeks. She brings the comforter up to cover her face and hides underneath it. "What are you doing?"

"Can you get me a kleenex?" she asks quietly. I smile to myself and push the covers away from my body.

"I'll be right back." I remember seeing a box of tissues somewhere...

I find the box on the shelf under the coffee table and get her a glass of juice. Not orange; she hates it. She always drinks this peach stuff that's basically sugar in water. When I get back to the room she's still hiding under the blankets. I sit down beside her and slide them under until the box stops against her body. She mumbles a thank-you and after a minute she removes the covers from her face.

"Here." I hold out the cup for her and she sits up against the headboard before taking it from my hands. I lay back down on my side and watch while she brings the cup to her lips. She drinks half of it and holds the cup with one hand and rests it on her legs.

"Thank you."

"Anytime." She smiles and leans her head back. My eyebrows pull together when I see a large red mark on her cheek. I reach up and touch it gently. She flinches and opens her eyes, relaxing when her eyes meet mine. "Sorry. I just...I thought you said he didn't hurt you?"

She gets an uncomfortable look on her face and shrugs. "Nothing major."

"Lana, he hit you." It's not a question. The mark is clearly there.

"It was more of a slap." She reaches up with her free hand and removes mine from her face, keeping her hold when they land on the bed. "I'm fine, really."

I bring her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles a few times. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she whispers.

"Yes, I do. If I hadn't been such an absolute dick to you yesterday none of this would have happened. We would have been here watching a movie or something. You wouldn't have been drunk and alone at a party. Or I would have been with you and I could have-"

"Stop." Her voice is quiet but firm. "Don't you dare blame yourself for this."

"But it's my fault. I should have been there. I should have protected you."

"You did," she says, voice shaky. "You stopped him." I shake my head and she lets go of my hand to put her glass on the table beside her. "Come here." She opens her arms and slides down the bed so she's half sitting up, half laying down. I shuffle over to her and lay my head down on her stomach. She puts one hand on my back while the other smooths my hair.

"This is backwards," I say after a few minutes. "I should be comforting you."

"You're in worse shape than I am I think." She's seriously joking around right now?

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" I ask, lifting my head to look at her. I want to see if she lies this time.

"I'm sure. I was so drunk, Harry, I couldn't really fight him," she admits, closing her eyes. "I started fighting when I heard your voice. That's when he hit me and covered my mouth."

My stomach twists at the mental image. His fucking hands on her....it makes me want to throw up. She opens her eyes slowly and reaches forward to wipe her hand across my cheek gently.

"It's okay," she whispers. "Don't cry. I'm okay. You saved me."

I'm crying?

"I shouldn't have had to save you." She smiles weakly and starts sliding down the bed more. I lift my head and roll onto my back, pulling her on top of me. She slides her hands slightly under my back and rests her head near the top of my chest, forehead pressed against the side of my neck. The only sound for while is that of our breathing. After a while I think she's asleep again, but she proves me wrong.

"I had a nightmare," she says quietly.

"I know. You were screaming."

"It felt so...real," she says removing one of her hands from under my back and resting it near my shoulder. "It was like he was here.."

"He's not. You'll never see him again."

She lifts her head and looks between my eyes. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you. Not ever." My tone is steady and I know that even if it kills me, I will protect Lana. "I was so scared," I whisper, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Me too." She lays her head back down and runs her fingers along the tattoos on my arm. "Harry, what you did to him..." she trails off and continues tracing the images.

"What?"

"I've never...I haven't see you like that before. I thought you were-"

She stops short and I can feel her heart hammering against my chest. I knew it. She was scared. "You thought what?"

"I thought you were going to kill him," she admits quietly. "You were so angry."

"Of course I was. He was fucking hurting you."

She lifts her head again and looks at me with nervous eyes. "How far would you have gone if I wasn't there?"

She knows me way too well. Obviously I wouldn't go very far in front of her. I don't need her to see me do that and I don't need her to be afraid of me. I don't want to confirm it out loud; she knows I would have killed him if I wanted to.

"Harry, you can't lose control like that. I don't care who hurts me or what they do. If you kill someone you'll go to jail. What am I supposed to do then? I've lived without you before. I'm not doing it again, I can't. I need you here with me. I can't imagine-"

"Shh. Breathe," I interrupt. I pull her head back down and she nuzzles her face into my neck, hand moving from my arm to my cheek.

"I can't lose you," she whispers. I can feel a tear hit the skin on my neck.

"You won't, I promise. I'm not going anywhere," I whisper back.

"Good. I'm going to need you."

---

"Better?"

She nods and goes into her room to change. That was her third shower. After the second one she said she still felt dirty, so I told her to take another. I'm surprised she even had any hot water left. I've had her favourite movie ready to go and I called her boss to say that she won't be able to work any more this semester. I'm not letting her out of my sight. I'll go to her exams with her if I have to. I've also cut up a bunch of fruit and put a bowl of yogurt on the table for her.

She emerges wearing my sweatpants and a sweater that's also mine. Her face turns a little red when she stops in the doorway.

"Is this okay?"

I smile and pat the spot next to me on the couch. "You look incredible in them. A hell of a lot better than I do."

She walks over and takes her seat next to me on the couch, sitting on the edge so she can eat some of the food.

"Thanks for this," she says, gesturing to the food.

"No problem."

She keeps her body a few inches away from mine and I don't try to initiate any contact. She flinches or jumps every time I touch her, even if she can see me doing it. So, I've just stopped. She can do whatever she feels comfortable with.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

She nods and picks up the bowl of watermelon pieces. "What did you have in mind?"

I smile at her and pick up the remote. "Your favourite."

"Oh! Miss Congeniality?"

That's her grown up answer. She doesn't like to tell everyone what it actually is. "No, your real favourite."

She smiles widely and leans back against the couch. "Really? You hate princess movies."

I hit the play button and lean back beside her. "Except Beauty and the Beast."

"It's awesome," she agrees, smiling when the familiar tune comes through the speakers. She continues to interchange the bowls in her hands between the four different ones on the table, offering me some every time she picks up a different kind. After about twenty minutes she stops eating and runs into her room. She comes back out with a blanket, which she drapes over both of us when she sits back down. She sits down right next to me this time, linking on arm through mine and leaning her head against my shoulder. I tangle our fingers together and kiss the top of her head. She seems okay..I don't know if that's a good or bad sign.

I was expecting her to be a mess today. I didn't think she'd want to talk or get out of bed. I definitely didn't think she would let me come near her. But she seems fine..she's a little jumpy and she hasn't talked too much, but other than that she appears to be alright. I don't know what's considered normal in these situations. Should I be worried that she isn't having a worse reaction?

---

Louis's POV

"She probably doesn't want to be bothered right now. Maybe I should just stay at your place until tomorrow."

"Eleanor, you live here," I say, pointing to the door she just stopped me from opening.

"I know that."

"You're her best friend. She's going to want to see you."

"What if she's mad at me?" she asks quietly, looking nervously at the door.

"I promise that she won't be mad."

She stares at it for another minute. "Should we knock?"

"This is your home," I remind her again. "Why should you knock? That's it, I'm going in."

She protests instantly, but I just walk straight into the apartment. The TV is on and Harry and Lana are sitting on the couch. I see Lana jump a little. She sits up quickly and spins her head around towards us. I give her a small wave and she sighs in relief. She looks at Harry and he turns towards us as well.

"Hey guys," he says. He looks back at Lana and leans forward to whisper something to her. She nods slightly and he gets up from the couch. She leans back against it and continues with the movie. He walks over to us and El finally comes in behind me and shuts the door.

"How is she?" El whispers, looking past me at Lana. I take her hand in mine and wait for Harry's answer.

"She's...she's actually doing pretty good," he says quietly. He turns to look at her and scratches the back of his head. He sounds unsure of himself. "She's a little jumpy, but she seems to be doing okay."

"That's good," I reply, smiling at Eleanor. She's just staring at the back of Lana's head. "Why don't you go talk to her," I suggest.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"How about hi?" She rolls her eyes and Harry looks confused. "El, she's not going to be mad at you. She's still the same person. Just go talk to her."

El hesitantly makes her way to the couch while Harry and I watch. Lana looks up at her and smiles, then pats the couch beside her. El looks relieved and smiles at me as she sits down next to her friend.

"She's blaming herself, isn't she?" Harry asks, still looking at the girls.

"Probably as much as you are."

He sighs and walks into the kitchen with me close behind.

"The difference is that it actually is my fault."

"I'm only going to say this once. It's not your fault. It's not Eleanor's fault. No one's." My voice is firm, but I know I can't persuade Harry if he doesn't want to be.

"Right. Let's go join them." He walks past me and sits beside Lana, leaving a noticeable gap between them. Those two are always touching in some way; that's why I noticed. After a minute or two she moves closer to him and rests her head against his arm. Eleanor joins me on the other couch.

"She doesn't hate me," she whispers, looking at Lana and Harry. Harry continually looks down at Lana, probably to make sure she's okay. He looks afraid to move.

"What did I tell you." She smiles and cuddles up next to me. I feel myself watching Lana and Harry a lot. He keeps looking at her. Every once in a while he'll lean down and whisper something in her ear, to which she'll smile and sometimes look up at him.

I have a feeling this is going to change things. Again.

Notes

holidays are overrr :( wah. blech school.
anyway hope you guys like this chapter :) i'll probably skip ahead for both of the next two chapters...not sure exactly where this is going yet :P

on that note, do you guys have any suggestions? anything you want to see happen?

vote, subscribe, comment.
xx