Fanfiction 101
That’s When Good Neighbours, Become Good Friends
That’s When Good Neighbours, Become Good Friends
Author: Born-For-Broadway
Rate: 2
Your grammar was okay, but I think it was just a little boring because there was a lot of talk, but not a lot of detail. Also, after a person’s dialogue, you either need to use a comma before writing she said or a period to close the quote off completely.
E.g.:
(What you wrote)
"Um....yeah, yeah I'm new" I interrupted her, laughing.
"Oh right...sorry. I tend to go off on a tangent. Just stop me whenever" she chuckled.
"Will do. I just moved here from LA"
(It should look like)
"Um... yeah, yeah I'm new," I interrupted her, laughing.
"Oh right... sorry. I tend to go off on a tangent. Just stop me whenever," she chuckled.
"Will do. I just moved here from LA."
If you are interested for more help on how to correctly write dialogue, I recommend reading this page, written by someone on this site actually, with a similar page to mine: [Link]. Another thing I note is that after you write “…” you need a space after it before the word that comes after. You only need three dots then a space as corrected in the above excerpt from your story.
As for the plot, I’ve read it all before. Girl moves. Boy is –
“coincidentally” – the girl’s next-door neighbor. Girl doesn’t like boy, but boy is a cheeky and arrogant ass who has never been told no. And I think we all know the ending: Girl and boy fall deeply in love.
Overall, I though everything was really basic and definitely not worth reading unless a reader hasn’t read this type of story before (and the chances are little to none). Your rendition of this plot was actually pretty average, but average is boring, and boring is bad.
If you found this review to be disappointing, I'm can't say I'm sorry. As I said, I am a brutally honest person, or so people tell me. If you would like me to take this down, I will, just ask me. Don't bitch about it either; I don't care what you think, I'm just telling you what I think. Don't get mad, you asked for it. Don't rate this badly just because you don't like what I say. But on the off chance you like what I'm telling you, I'm glad you could learn something from me.
Author: Born-For-Broadway
Rate: 2
Your grammar was okay, but I think it was just a little boring because there was a lot of talk, but not a lot of detail. Also, after a person’s dialogue, you either need to use a comma before writing she said or a period to close the quote off completely.
E.g.:
(What you wrote)
"Um....yeah, yeah I'm new" I interrupted her, laughing.
"Oh right...sorry. I tend to go off on a tangent. Just stop me whenever" she chuckled.
"Will do. I just moved here from LA"
(It should look like)
"Um... yeah, yeah I'm new," I interrupted her, laughing.
"Oh right... sorry. I tend to go off on a tangent. Just stop me whenever," she chuckled.
"Will do. I just moved here from LA."
If you are interested for more help on how to correctly write dialogue, I recommend reading this page, written by someone on this site actually, with a similar page to mine: [Link]. Another thing I note is that after you write “…” you need a space after it before the word that comes after. You only need three dots then a space as corrected in the above excerpt from your story.
As for the plot, I’ve read it all before. Girl moves. Boy is –
“coincidentally” – the girl’s next-door neighbor. Girl doesn’t like boy, but boy is a cheeky and arrogant ass who has never been told no. And I think we all know the ending: Girl and boy fall deeply in love.
Overall, I though everything was really basic and definitely not worth reading unless a reader hasn’t read this type of story before (and the chances are little to none). Your rendition of this plot was actually pretty average, but average is boring, and boring is bad.
If you found this review to be disappointing, I'm can't say I'm sorry. As I said, I am a brutally honest person, or so people tell me. If you would like me to take this down, I will, just ask me. Don't bitch about it either; I don't care what you think, I'm just telling you what I think. Don't get mad, you asked for it. Don't rate this badly just because you don't like what I say. But on the off chance you like what I'm telling you, I'm glad you could learn something from me.
@That_clifford_girl
Hi! I don't normally do this but I'm just gonna get right on it.
It's in my knowledge that this author isn't coming back. Which means your review isn't coming. But! I recently started up a review store so if you're interested you can link your story there.
All you have to do is click my name and follow the form. :-)
12/31/16