Broken Promises
Author: lyrics.tell.my.story
Rate: 7

This is the first review I’ve done in a while, so I’m apologizing beforehand if it sucks. I’ve attempted to start up reviewing again quite a few times but haven’t felt too into it, so I’ve read your story multiple times through several different times now and I’m kind of sick of having to reread it without ever jotting anything down. However, don’t take that the wrong way because I think your story is pretty darn good.

So onto the actual review… The grammar could use a little work in the dialogue area – using commas instead of periods when continuing on with the sentence in the form of ‘s/he said’. And, although not required, nor necessary, it would be nice if you added a line of space between all of your paragraphs. A lot of readers find stories easier to read that way since you can’t really indent paragraphs.

I think it’s really cool yet also kind of annoying (just a teensy bit) how you put a story behind a piece of one of their old video diaries. Yes, carrots are a really “carrot-y” move (I honestly couldn’t care less about the carrot Directioner vs. real Directioner controversy – no offense to anyone – but I still think carrots associated with Louis in fanfics are getting annoying), but I like that you’ve made up a story behind it.

In fact, I really like the plot overall. It could be written a little better, but I like the questions it leaves unanswered. I’m left to wonder where Grace went and what exactly is going to happen with Isabella and how her hair color is going to play a part. I have theories, but the curiosity of these things is what keeps me wanting to read more.

As I’ve said though, I’ve reread your story all the way through about 7 times now, so I won’t continue reading it. I will recommend it to some people for reading though, because overall it isn’t too bad.

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If you find your review to be disappointing, I cannot honestly tell you that I’m sorry. Do not let what I say in any way discourage you from writing or anything for that matter. I am just one person with strongly opinionated views on everything. If I made it clear that I strongly dislike your story, do not think that other people won’t enjoy it. There are many other readers with different views than me who will find interest in your story where I may not have. I hope you do take something out of this and improve on and continue your writing, but if you don’t, that’s fine too.

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