Fanfiction 101
Hired for Harry
HIRED FOR HARRY
Author: AyeeeBriii & Kass_april
Rate: 8
Your grammar is good. You use a lot of dialogue to carry the story along, though, so try to put a little more detail into the story.
I’ve read stories with this plot before where the girl gets hired to be Harry’s girlfriend for publicity but then they end up falling for each other for real. I’m not really a fan of the plot, because it doesn’t really interest me due to how many times I’ve seen it been written terribly. However, I think you guys did an adequate job on the story. You know how to draw people in and keep the interest going by adding complications for the characters, and you guys do it at a good pace.
I feel like the one place you could’ve really improved was the transitioning between Chapter 23 & 24. You went from them getting caught by his friends to her feeling trapped, and the jump confused me because I felt like I had accidentally skipped a chapter, which I didn’t. So just make sure to keep the flow of the story going.
Overall, the story was drew me in and kept me interested to read more. This is probably the best rendition of this sort of plot that I have read before. I mostly won’t be continuing to read the story, but I would definitely recommend it.
If you find your review to be disappointing, I cannot honestly tell you that I’m sorry. Do not let what I say in any way discourage you from writing or anything for that matter. I am just one person with strongly opinionated views on everything. If I made it clear that I strongly dislike your story, do not think that other people won’t enjoy it. There are many other readers with different views than me who will find interest in your story where I may not have. I hope you do take something out of this and improve on and continue your writing, but if you don’t, that’s fine too.
Author: AyeeeBriii & Kass_april
Rate: 8
Your grammar is good. You use a lot of dialogue to carry the story along, though, so try to put a little more detail into the story.
I’ve read stories with this plot before where the girl gets hired to be Harry’s girlfriend for publicity but then they end up falling for each other for real. I’m not really a fan of the plot, because it doesn’t really interest me due to how many times I’ve seen it been written terribly. However, I think you guys did an adequate job on the story. You know how to draw people in and keep the interest going by adding complications for the characters, and you guys do it at a good pace.
I feel like the one place you could’ve really improved was the transitioning between Chapter 23 & 24. You went from them getting caught by his friends to her feeling trapped, and the jump confused me because I felt like I had accidentally skipped a chapter, which I didn’t. So just make sure to keep the flow of the story going.
Overall, the story was drew me in and kept me interested to read more. This is probably the best rendition of this sort of plot that I have read before. I mostly won’t be continuing to read the story, but I would definitely recommend it.
If you find your review to be disappointing, I cannot honestly tell you that I’m sorry. Do not let what I say in any way discourage you from writing or anything for that matter. I am just one person with strongly opinionated views on everything. If I made it clear that I strongly dislike your story, do not think that other people won’t enjoy it. There are many other readers with different views than me who will find interest in your story where I may not have. I hope you do take something out of this and improve on and continue your writing, but if you don’t, that’s fine too.
@That_clifford_girl
Hi! I don't normally do this but I'm just gonna get right on it.
It's in my knowledge that this author isn't coming back. Which means your review isn't coming. But! I recently started up a review store so if you're interested you can link your story there.
All you have to do is click my name and follow the form. :-)
12/31/16