Riley's POV

In my mind, I'm playing that new Sia song in my head as Louis and I take shot after shot after shot... after shot. Seeing Harry minutes ago really set my mind in overdrive because honestly, it was the last thing I was expecting from this party.

"So a few moments ago, you weren't gonna drink a thing! And now..." Louis motions towards the row of shot glasses empty in front of me, and I can't help but release an embarrassed giggle.

"I know what I said." I smile politely, grabbing the bottle from his finger tips and putting it straight to my lips. His eyes light up with amusement and skepticism, but it quickly blows over when a handful of people make their way over to us.

My body ignites with red hot flames of fear and excitement when I see Nick and Danny making their way over to me, double fisted with smug, drunk smiles plastered on their faces. I take a quick look in the direction where Harry was standing, and he's still there, paying no attention to me. Does he even know I'm here? Why the fuck did he even come?

Don't let the anger consume you. Have a good time. My brain used to be a quiet, empty space that didn't really do much thinking or talking but now, now it screams and shouts commands and warnings left and right. There's a part of me that wants to go over there, rip Harry's head off for showing up and not letting me do my own thing, and there's another side of me that wants to get on my knees and beg for him to love me again. I'm better than that, I'm better than him.

"Riley!!" Nick slurs, wrapping his large football player arms around me and lifting me up in his embrace. I squeal loudly as he twirls me around and passes me off to Danny, who does the same, leaving a big, wet kiss on my forehead. I can feel the buzz of alcohol radiating off of them and it's only making me feel more excited and loved at the same time.

"I adore you guys!" I cheer into the little love-fest the three of us were drunkenly absorbed in.


"Did you see that Harry came?" Nick asks, and I bite the insides of my cheek to keep calm. Way to ruin the moment, dickhead is what I think to myself, but I have to keep my cool. Danny's eyes flicker back and forth between us, sensing the awkward tension that has quickly broken out.

"Weird, he said he didn't want to come out on a Tuesday." I mumble as casually as I can, and gasp when I feel fingers interlock with mine. When my eyes scan downward, Danny's fingers are laced with mine and his thumb is lightly drawing circles on my palm. I can feel my cheeks fill with heat, and I can't tell if I'm loving this moment of comfort and scared by his affection.

"Yeah I know, but he was telling us this really funny story about this one time, where he and Niall were at this party, and he--" Nick begins to tell us with a smile, and I feel like all the air is going to be sucked out of my lungs. I don't need this now. Not here.

"I think I need some air." I interrupt his story and tug on Danny's hand. As I make my way towards the door, I grab a new bottle of vodka from the counter and sit on the front steps with Danny following closely behind.

"Too much?" Danny chuckles, taking the seat beside me and letting me rest my head on his shoulder. I can't help but laugh to myself while twisting the plastic seal off of top of the bottle before responding to his question.

"It's not too much party for one night... It's too much Harry." I admit, putting the bottle to my lips and taking a small sip. The strong liquor burns my throat and I close my eyes, trying hard to make it look like I'm used to this. In reality, it feels like an eternity since I last partied and did any of this kind of stuff.

I probably sound pathetic considering the fact that I've been to Maddie's party for less than an hour and Harry hasn't even said a word to me, but his presence alone is all-consuming and makes me want to lose control.

"Well what can I do to help?" He generously asks, "Do you want me to take you home? I could take you back to your place, or we could go back to mine--"

"Dannyyyyy." I stretch his name with a small laugh, burying my face in his chest. I can feel my grip on the bottle loosen, and seconds later it's removed from my hands and my chin is titled towards his face.

"Riley." He breathes with a slight chuckle. I press my forehead to his and close my eyes slowly before opening them again. Our lips are just a few inches apart, and the smell of our breath is pure alcohol, so strong it's numbing.

"Would it be wrong of me to kiss you right now?" He whispers, his cold finger tips gently holding my face near his. The late winter air is strong, but my cheeks are burning and my brain is currently unavailable because I cannot concoct a rational thought, response, or action to give to this devilishly handsome boy right now.

Would it be wrong of Danny to kiss me right now? No. Would it be wrong of me to kiss him right now? No. Why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I give myself the opportunity of breaking away from that bastards grasp forever, why shouldn't I finally take a step away from Harry's hold on me and do something for myself? Why shouldn't I?! I want to, but I can't.

"It wouldn't be wrong of you Danny, but--" I begin to say, however I'm cut off by the softness and delicacy of his lips on mine. Holy shit, Holy shit, Holy shit. The foreign taste of a jock startles me and it's as if I almost forgot these past few torturous months.I fall into the kiss for a moment, and something inside of me snaps like a rubber band. The girl who always falls into her old habits and dies hard with them is breaking free, but at the same time...

"Danny, wait." I whisper, detaching my lips from his and covering my hands over my face. I feel his palm rest on my back in a comforting and friendly way, but I can't hide the emotions that are scribbled all over the front lawn now.

"You're still in love with Harry." He states matter of factly, and I quickly look up to deny it.

"No, that's not it! It's just that I don't--"

"No Riley, that's exactly what it is," He explains matter of factly, "It's okay, you don't have to lie to me." He sighs, grabbing the bottle and taking an enormous gulp of the hard liquor.

"It's not easy." I sniffle, wiping underneath my eyes and silently praying that my makeup hasn't ran down my face. He squints his eyes as the drink runs down his throat, and then takes another swig. I mentally debate telling him to stop, but I then remember I have no room to judge when half of that bottle's contents are already inside of me.

"Do you think we'll ever have a chance, Ri? Or is it always going to be you and Harry?" He chuckles, looking up at the sky. "God, you know I never pictured you to end up with someone like him." He laughs, and I want to defend Harry but I know he's right.

"I'm not with Harry right now... he doesn't love me." I sigh, resting my head on Danny's shoulder. At this point, I'm fighting back a sob but I refuse to let him or anyone else who is at this party see me break down. I'm not that girl anymore, and I told myself I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

He doesn't respond, because I really don't think there is anything to say in regard to that. Harry doesn't want me, and I'm a fool for loving him. What does a guy tell a girl who is hopelessly in love and screwed up by one guy? He knows it, I know it, and it's pretty pathetic that Harry's inside the house right now living it up while I'm outside, denying a kiss to my dreamboat friend who could give me everything I've ever wanted, and all because I'm still hung up on Harry.

"I'm so drunk and cold. This is an awesome party." Danny breaks the silence a few minutes later with a sarcastic joke, and the both of us laugh to ourselves. While sitting in the quiet, we finished off the bottle, and now I can hardly see straight.

"My ass is numb... I think we should go inside." I smile, standing up and swaying back and forth. My eyes are seeing double, no, maybe triple?

"You know what Ri? You're gonna be okay!" Danny laughs, standing up and pulling up the front door of the house.




When the two of us enter back inside the party, the vibe has changed... for me anyway. After a kiss with Danny and a few more drinks, I don't know if I want to go back to bed and never wake up or if I want to continue drinking until I need to get my stomach pumped the next morning.

"Babe!!! Riley! Come over here!" Perrie's voice echoes through my skull, and I blink my eyes five, six or seven times before following her calling my name. When I reach her, she's with none other than almost our entire lunch table, Harry included.

"Where have you been, I've been looking for you this whole time!" Louis nudges me, and I nearly fall to the ground from his slight shove. Holy shit, I'm so drunk.

"Riley, how much did you drink?" Zayn's voice is strong, and I nearly burst out laughing when I look up at him and his stern face. I love that he's protective, but he acts like a father sometimes and it's comical to me!

"I was with Danny-yo on the front steps, and I had only a little to drink Zayn!" I slur, grabbing Maddie's cup and downing the cherry flavored contents in seconds.

My eyes scan the circle around me, and everyone is laughing and having a good time except for those devil fucking eyes that are sending me the nastiest look from across the group... And they're not Zayn's, even though you'd think it's just him being protective.

The eyes staring deep into my soul across the room, are Harry's. He's looking at me like satan would, and it literally feels like daggers through the heart just to have his eyes on me.

"Harry, could you stop fucking looking at me?!" I shriek confidently, and the curly-haired boy with his emerald eyes keeps his gaze strong and hard. My drunken self is more than dis-satisfied with his non-reaction, and I can tell others are amused by the slowly silencing room.

"Riley, let's go in the kitchen, ok?" Maddie and Perrie both link arms with me and attempt to pull me away, but Harry'sglare only grows stronger. What did I do to make him hate me so much? To get these dirty looks from him?

"No! I'm gonna say, what I'm gonna say." I slur, grabbing for the cup in Louis' hand and downing it. I can hardly stand up on my own two feet any longer, but the adrenalin and buzz from all the liquor inside of me is growing with each second that passes.

"Do you think you've got me all figured out?" I say to Harry in my STILL raspy voice, and I watch as his arms fold over his chest, nostrils flair slightly and eyebrows furrow in the littlest angry way. I'm getting to him, I know it. "C'mon Harry! Tell everyone how you don't love me, tell everyone how you dumped me and how I mean nothing to you!" I shout, my voice cracking at the end of the sentence.

"You should stop now." He says through gritted teeth, and his voice sends a rush of heat through my body.

"Oh, he speaks!" I cackle, turning to my friends and giving them a twisted smile.

"Riley, what do you say I take you home now, yeah? I think you've had enough for one night..." Louis comes to the side of me and wraps his arm tightly around my waist. I look at Harry, anger spewing out of him.

"I have an idea! Do you know what a throwback is?" I ask him as if he's a child, and he blinks at me so I know he understands what I'm talking about. This should be good.

"Riley--" Louis begins.

"I want to talk with you. Come over when everyones gone if you're brave enough." I wink, and his mouth opens as if he's going to say something but not a word depart from his lips. I hope he remembers when he said those exact words to me the night of my first party, I hope he's choking on that memory on the inside right now.

Without another word, I let Louis drag me out of the house with Zayn and Perrie following behind us.

"Holy shit Riley, where did that come from?" Louis laughs, helping me into the car and buckling my seatbelt for me.

"Harry's such a fucking prick, ugh! How could he just stand there and judge you after all he's done? You still love him and he treats you like dirt!" Perrie hiccups from the backseat, and I put my fingers to my temples to prevent myself from getting car sick.

"Are you gonna go meet him?" Louis pokes me, and my eyes bulge out my head.

Holy shit. That was an actual proposal to meet with him and talk. Discuss. Why am I such an idiot? Why did I even open my mouth, like what the fuck possessed me to do that?

Vodka. Lots and lots of vodka possessed me to do that.

"He wouldn't show up anyway, he's a little bitch!" Perrie shouts from the backseat, and I just nod in 'agreement'.

"Of course she's not gonna meet him, she's smarter than that." Zayn remarks, putting a hand on my shoulder from behind me to show his love.

The sad thing is, is that I'm really not smarter than that at all. The only question left now, is that when all the lights are down and all the cards are on the table, is Harry going to meet me?

Only time will tell now.

Notes

hi everyone! i'm sorry i haven't updated in a month, but i had the ending of my junior year, my dance recital, and a whole bunch of other stuff going on!

please comment reactions from this chapter so i know you're still reading!!!!!! if I dont get reactions, i will feel like no one is reading and then probably not update as much lol

happy summer! i hope you're all well. 40 days until my WWA concerts! so excited :)

this all being said ... i will hopefully be updating a lot more now, as well as working on my other story (Class Clowns) and starting a new one that i've been wanting to start for so long!

thanks! x