It Takes Patience
Chapter 42: Omit: To Leave Out or Exclude
Why didn’t you tell her? She’ll find out eventually...You have to tell her the truth!
I woke up again in a cold sweat. The dreams were becoming more frequent and lasted longer and I don’t understand why. I was fine for a long time and I used to only have them after the incident, but ever since Reagan came into the picture the nightmares have gotten heavier and more realistic. I put my hand over my chest and could feel my heart drumming causing an adrenaline rush that was unwanted at... 8:56 in the morning. I told her part of the story why is that not enough? My subconscious starts to go into that whole ‘because the truth will set you free’ bullshit and I push it into the back of my mind before I go downstairs to take my medication and make myself breakfast.
“Hi my baby boy, how are you this morning?” Too chipper! My mum is way too chipper in the mornings. I open my eyes wide in and give her a kiss on the cheek regardless to how I feel and what I want to say to her about being too damn loud. She’s happy and I don’t want to ruin it.
“Hi mum.” I rub my eyes and speak with sleep still evident in my voice. She made breakfast and it makes me slightly happy that it’s one less thing that I have to do. As soon as my mood starts to shift to a good one to start my day, she speaks again and the emotion that was so close to enveloping me is ripped away.
“So Robin and I have set a date for the wedding...” I visibly tense and can almost see my happiness get pulled away further and further as if it was a living breathing thing until all I feel is annoyance and anger take its place. I know that she notices, but she continues to try and talk about it anyway.
“It’s going to be a fall wedd-”
“I don’t want to talk about this! Not now. I have too much other shit going on to talk about this now!”
“Harold I will not tip toe around the subject anymore! And you will not use that tone of voice or language with me! Robin and I are getting married. I understand your reservations with it darling, I do. But you can’t keep living in fear the way you have. This is different and I know you can feel it. I know you love Robin and you know he genuinely loves you back as if you were his own son. Clive was-”
“Don’t say it! Just don’t! You don’t get it mum! You have no clue what it’s like. It’s not safe and you don’t give a fuck! You put him and me in danger!” I could feel my blood start to boil and I try to take a few deep breaths to calm myself, but it’s not working.
“Harry it will be alright.” My mum came closer to try and embrace me but I avoided it.
“Why does no one fucking get it?!” I threw the glass that I was holding in my hand against the wall watching it shatter on impact before I headed upstairs to shower and get the hell out of this house. I can see the hurt look in my mother’s eyes before I get upstairs and I’m sorry for her, but this can’t happen. She has to try to see it from my point of view.
When I got out of the shower, I could hear the doorbell ring. I head downstairs to answer it and saw that the mess I made from the glass had been cleaned up. I feel immediate guilt when I picture my mother picking up the broken shards. Today is going to be dreadful and I can tell by the way my mood takes control and depresses me within seconds of reaching the door.
When I woke up this morning, Channel wasn’t in my apartment and I was partially glad for it. I was still aggravated with her for what she said to Harry. I know that she loves me like a sister and I love her the same way, but what she did was uncalled for. I know how to take care of myself. I walked into the kitchen in my sleeper shirt and messy ponytail and opened the fridge staring blankly into it when I heard my phone vibrate on the marble counter top.
From: Peyton x♥x
How are you this morning beautiful? Would you like to get breakfast with me before I go to the hospital?
I looked at the digital clock on the microwave and saw that it read 9. I need to talk to Peyton about “us”, but I hardly think that breakfast before work is the appropriate time to do so. I have a feeling that my brain will take control of the situation and make my mouth blurt it out if I see him regardless to what time it is and I don’t want to do it that way, Plus I already made plans to shadow Harry before we ride to session together.
To: Peyton x♥x
Hey, sorry Peyton I can’t today. I’m kind of busy early on today with my case study. Can we talk later though?
Peyton texts me back ten minutes later which is rather odd coming from him. He’s so punctual with texting back.
From: Peyton x♥x
Sure Darling, talk to you then Xx.
After I choose a breakfast for myself and eat it, I hop into the shower and head down to Laurie’s place where I know I will find Channel. I’m still annoyed by her but its only common courtesy to let her know I will be leaving out early today.
“Hi babe! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” Laurie answers the door and I notice she’s still in her pajamas.
“Hi L. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for interning today? I know Peyton is probably scrambling to get out the house to get to the hospital right now.” Laurie scratches the back of her head before she goes to sit on the couch next to Channel.
“I couldn’t do it anymore Reagan. It was absolute shit! Even the case that Peyton showed me yesterday was bull. You really are fortunate to be under the wing of Dr. Baker. The things she has you doing now with Harry, you’ll be able to have something real to show on your resume. Me and Peyton will have a reference that claims us as overworked custodians. Peyton is better than me. I can’t make myself do it anymore.” I look at Laurie and nod my head. I understand her reasoning, and a since of pride swells through me when I think about what she said about my resume right before a sense of sadness overtakes me.
“But doesn’t that mean they’re going to send you back home?”
“No, our work visa’s allow us to stay until the end of summer and hopefully I’ll be able to transfer to London Uni to finish out my last year. I filled out an emergency application for it yesterday. If all goes well they’ll take me in for the fall quarters even though it’s a late registry. I want to see how this goes with Niall...I like him a lot.”
“So it’s official?”
“Yeah for a while now. I wanted to tell you but I know you’ve been so busy with your case study and all.” Channel snorts and part of me wonders if she told Laurie. She wouldn’t do that...would she?
“I’m so happy for you guys and I’m sorry I’ve been MIA maybe we can go out tonight since time is winding down for Channel’s visit. I can’t believe you leave on Tuesday.”
Even though I am angry with Channel right now, I really wish her time here with me in London would slow down. I’m going to miss my best friend being here with me. Channel looks at me sympathetically and I know she’s thinking the same thing that I am. When I let her and Laurie know that I am going to shadow Harry and I will be back after five, the small smile and sympathy in Channel’s eyes is replaced an annoyed look and I leave the flat before I start to get angry with her again.
When I got to Harry’s place and rang the doorbell, I could feel myself start to get nervous. I hadn’t been here to shadow him since the night of Gemma’s party when I left in tears. What if his mother and sister fault me for causing Harry to get so angry and run off? What if they don’t want me to come here anymore? My thoughts are silenced and replaced by thoughts of complete and utter lust when Harry answers the door dripping wet in nothing but a towel around his waist and one thrown on the top of his head. I stand there stunned as I watch a water droplet roll slowly down his torso from his chest and I instantly feel my skin get hot. Why does he have to tease me like this? When he closes the door behind me, he smiles at me but it doesn’t reach his eyes and I can tell that something is wrong.
“You’re early...Sorry I’m not dressed.” Before I can answer and tell him how not sorry I am that he’s not dressed, his mom comes to the door and gasps making my nerves amplify. I knew she would be upset if I came back here.
“Harold Edward Styles that is no way to answer the door especially in front of a lady! Why aren’t you clothed? I know I’ve taught you better than that! Go upstairs and get on clothes now! I’m so sorry Reagan.” Harry smirked at me and I could see an impish expression flash over his beautiful features before he turned on his heel and went up the stairs holding his towel. Everything in me wished that the damn thing would fall. My body starts to take over my brain and I catch it before it goes too far. The thought of Harry naked is too dangerous of a territory for me to venture into right now, especially since we are taking things slow.
“Come and have a seat Reagan.” Anne walks into the living room and I feel my anxiety build up again as I sit down.
“Since Harry’s upstairs it gives me time to tell you how sorry I am for the way he behaved the last time you were here.” Oh.
“It’s not his fault. I could have handled it a lot better. It was so unprofessional of me to run out the way I did. It’s me who should be apologizing. It’s my fault really. I should have never opened my mouth about your engagement to him. I’m so sorry, and congratulations by the way.” Anne smiled at me and touched my shoulder reassuring me that it was alright. She also tried to convince me that Harry would have acted the same way if she was the one to let him know, but somehow I feel that that’s not true.
When Harry comes back down stairs, he sports a beanie, a charcoal grey ratty t-shirt, and dark wash blue skinny jeans with holes in the knees. As my eyes wander over him I notice the giant rose tattoo on his left arm and a ship right above it that wasn’t there before. Anne follows my gaze to him and she smiles then raises an eyebrow at Harry.
“I really wish you would stop doing that to yourself.” Harry rolls his eyes before he responds to his mother knowing exactly what she’s talking about.
“I like them and you know why I get them.”
“Yes Harry, but I really wish you would find another outlet.” H.’s mom glances at her watch before she gets up and gets ready to go to work and Harry takes a seat next to me on the couch. When he turned his face to look at me I steal a quick kiss before I speak.
“Were you trying to tease me? It’s hard enough not to think about sex with you as it is, but when you come to the door like that? Lets just say I have a great imagination.” Harry gives me another grin that doesn’t meet his eyes and I instantly get concerned.
“I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it now. What do you want to do since you’re here so damn early?” Harry’s temper is short and solemn but I feel his hand rest on my thigh.
“Don’t curse at me! And what do you mean what do I want to do? I’m still shadowing you you know? This isn’t a date. You’re supposed to go throughout the day as if I’m not here unless I ask you a question.” I grinned at Harry knowing that I had given him an outlet to release some steam from whatever it was that was bothering him and he took it.
“It’s rather hard to act like you’re not here glasses. You’re too damn annoying for anyone to think and try to make you invisible. And it could be a date...I mean we have six and a half hours before we have to be at Dr. Bakers office. We literally have half the day to do shit.” Harry is in a cranky mood but if he’s offering me an actual date I’m not going to turn it down. I grinned at him causing him to roll his eyes at me.
“It could be a date I guess. Where are you going to take me?” I began to trace the new ink that covered Harry’s arm and he watched as my fingers roamed the outlines. I noticed the goose bumps that rose on his skin as I traced, but seeing that he is already in a bad mood I decided not to tease him about it.
“It’s a surprise. I’m not going to tell you where I’m taking you. You’ll just go and be happy we’re going.” Harry tried to keep a serious look on his face, but when I pouted at his response I could see a small smirk play out on his lips. When we heard rustling coming from up stairs we quickly moved away from each other so we weren’t sitting so close.
Harry’s mom came down the stairs in her work clothes and Harry stood to grab his keys off the counter. Anne gave Harry a kiss before she left and whispered something quietly to him making his facial expression go back to a furrowed brow and his lips pressed into a hard line before he shook his head in agreement to what she said. She gave Harry one last look before she waved ‘bye’ to me and left the house.
“Let’s go Reagan.” Harry snapped and I jumped slightly at the use of my name.
“If you’re going to be in a shitty mood we don’t have to go. I’d rather work than go out with you when you’re snapping at me. When we got outside, H. rolled his eyes then closed them taking a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again they were the light crystal green that captivate me every time I look at them.
“Sorry. It’s fine now.” Though Harry’s mood changed to be more pleasant during the car ride I could still tell there was something bothering him. Just as I was about to ask, he pulled up to London Aquarium gates and paid for parking and two admission tickets.
“Come on glasses.” My heart began to beat faster as the date went on. Everything there was breathtakingly beautiful. Harry took me to the open aquarium where they allowed us to feed and touch the dolphins and the seals. Then, we went to the shark tank where we could watch them swim in the clear glass under our feet. It was interesting, but it scared me and I held on to Harry the whole time as if the glass under us was going to give away.
“We aren’t going to fall through glasses. The glass to the tank is thick.” Harry laughed at me but put his arm around me to hold me to him still. The date ended at the giant tank of the exotic fish. As I looked at all the vibrant colors of the fish that swam, I could feel Harry’s eyes on me. When I looked back at him he was grinning at me.
“What?” I felt my cheeks start to redden due to the intensity of his gaze.
“You’re really...pretty glasses. Beautiful I mean...” My heart melted and I saw the slight blush on Harry’s cheeks as I walked over to him wrapping my arms around his neck. He wrapped his possessively around my waist and bent down slightly to rest his forehead on mine before he kissed me.
“You’re still annoying as all hell, but you are absolutely beautiful.” I rolled my eyes at him as we released each other and held hands as we made our way towards the exit. It was 4:15 and I was too sure that we would be late. When we got to the hospital, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket as I entered the building.
From: Peyton x♥x
Hey I just got out early and was wondering what time you would be done with session? I need to talk to you also, to tell you something really.
I read the text and looked up at Harry to make sure that he wasn’t watching me before I text back.
To: Peyton x♥x
I’ll be out at five :).
The sooner I tell Peyton, the better. I can’t deal with sneaking around much longer. From this one date alone I know that me and Harry have the chemistry to make this work.
Aww so Harry and Reagan go on an actual date! Whose first date was better? Reagan and Harry's trip to the aquarium or Reagan and Peyton's candle light dinner and moonlight walk? Also what do you guys think Harry is holding back from telling Reagan? Tell me in the comments below about the chapter (I love it when i get feedback from you guys!) And be sure to give me some votes and more subscriptions if you are enjoying my little story so far (I love when I see my votes and subscribers go up as well!). As always you guys are amazing and I love you all for reading! Xx :D