Chapter 20: Facing the Music (Part 2)


Harry’s POV

I left Mads behind not looking back. I really truly believed that breaking things off with her had her best her interest in mind. It definitely was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Hearing her tell me she loved me was honestly gave me the best and the worst feelings to ever experience. I was falling for her so hard and fast… Hell, I would have told her the same thing in an alternate circumstance. My heart was gutted, and knowing I had done the same to her only made it all worse.

I returned backstage to find the other four lads. I had already told them what I felt I had to do with Mads. Niall and Zayn didn’t necessarily like my decision but they understood the situation, while Louis and Liam thought it was the, “biggest load of rubbish,” they’d ever heard, but I thought that taking me out of the picture would take that awful spotlight off of her. She was too good for it, and I couldn’t take much more of the nasty comments directed at her. It was literally taking everything I had not to lash out. I love all our fans as I was partially protecting them by keeping Mads and I a secret, but I almost felt resentment towards my fans for doing this to her. I felt disgusted about the whole situation.

When the lads first saw me Louis was first to state sternly, “So did you break one of the best things that has happened to you?”

My face fell even more than it already was, “Lou, what else was I supposed to do? I don’t know how I am supposed to fix this?”

He continued, “You should have stuck up for the poor girl!”

I was quick to get irritated. I was already upset enough as it was. I practically yelled, “If I would have done that, it wouldn’t stop all the hate she’s getting, Louis!! I HAD TO!”

Louis shook his head as Liam stepped in, “Haz. How do you think she feels right now? She is the target behind all this negativity and now she doesn’t even have anyone to comfort her. It just isn’t right.”

I had no words… I know what I was sacrificing, but once people started to realize it was nothing, they would stop talking about it. That is how it worked.

To my relief, we didn’t have time to discuss this further. We were soon being whisked away to do a few interviews. I could tell how upset the lads were with me, I was too…

Everything was passing in a sort of blur. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mads. I wanted to know what she was doing. People were giving us directions on what do to, where to sit, dabbing some sort of make-up on our faces, and before I knew it we were out on a small stage in front of a rather lively audience.

I wasn’t really answering any questions, as I was certainly in no mood or state to do so. I was just praying the subject of Maddie wouldn’t come up. I tried my best to seem alert, laugh, and nod my head at the other’s replies in the appropriate places.

The interview had been going on for a while, and I was starting to feel comfortable. Then, my thoughts were frozen when I heard the women interviewer ask, “Oh speaking of love… Harry… We are hearing news of a new love interest in your life? We have found her name is Madeline Cooke? We also hear she is on your tour with you guys?”

I could feel the shifting of the lads next to me, but I quickly shook it off, realizing what I needed to do and say. With as little emotion as possible I spoke, “No, I am not seeing anyone at the moment. Madeline does work on the tour, we just both happened to be in New York the day of our concert’s break. I was there with the lads, I don’t know what brought her there.”
I could feel the interview’s face tense up, not being the answer she was hoping for. I wasn’t going to let her have the satisfaction of getting the “new scoop.” That was part of the problem, people making such a huge deal out of something that is supposed to be very personal and intimate.

She pressed on, “Weren’t the two of you spotted and pictured together though, also I have hear something odd about your ensemble?”

I coolly collected my thoughts and to get my point across, slowly spoke, “We had just sort of bumped into each other for that moment. I was coming back from having dinner with a friend, headed to meet the lads. That was all. As for what I was wearing, it’s sort of hard to explain, it was sort of a joke.”

I was unsure whether I convinced her, but either way she was forced to accept my statement. She moved on to the usual question of asking who in the group was single. Niall, Liam, and myself all raised our hands slowly and the girls in the audience swooned over it. Usually their praises gave me the greatest feelings, but not this time. I felt terrible. I didn’t want their praises because I had to give up something so meaningful to earn them. I felt dirty.

The interview continued and I slumped back into my attentive silence until it finally ended. Not so soon enough were headed back to the venue. It was times like these I just wanted to throw myself into music.

Without a word we were on stage and started with the song, “Over Again.” It seemed rather fitting and I poured my entire heart into it. It was probably the best we had ever performed that song, and the only audience was the stage crew. It was good to feel in my element. It helped me keep my mind off of the whole situation.

I was soon reminded of everything when I saw the face of none other than Lacey. When we were done with the run through, we ate and headed straight into wardrobe. Lacey hardly spoke a word to me. It was clear that she was pissed off with me, and she had a reason. I had broken the heart of her friend.

The boys were off goofing around and I saw an opportune moment to speak with Lacey alone. She was steaming one of Liam’s shirt as I walked up beside her and asked, “How is she?”

She continued with what she was doing and didn’t even turn to look me in the eye, “How do you think, Harry? She is feeling the hate of the entire world and the one person, who should be there to comfort her, broke up with her.”

I looked down to my feet, “I know it’s hard to understand, but I swear it was for good reason. I really do care the absolute world for her.”

She snapped her face upon me then, “Whatever, Harry. I know, I know. You are always trying to “protect” her, but I think it’s a load of bull shit that you did what you did to her, and then come up to me and say what you just said.”

I gazed at Lacey and whispered, “I just want people to leave her alone.”

I could tell I had then really irritated her, “You want people to stop? Then you are going to REALLY have to prove it to everyone out there they you guys were never anything. They have seen the pictures, and if you think for ONE second they are going to believe you after denying it in one interview, than you are senseless.”

Lacey left me speechless as she stormed off in haste towards the stage door. I wasn’t sure what to think. Did she have a point? Were people going to think I lied? I decided to check and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I typed in, “Harry Styles and Madeline Cooke.”

There were the few pictures that had ruined everything, along with a few recent new stories. I clicked a random one and began to read.

One Direction appeared on the live talk show, “Chit Chat,” today. Band member Harry Styles was confronted about being photographed and linked with Madeline Cook, a worker on their tour. Although Styles denied any form of relationship with Cooke, fans on Twitter have not been afraid of showing their feelings on the topic. Two trends that have been trending since the interview aired live are “#HarryLies and #DownWithMadeline”

We will keep you updated as we learn more. Tell us what you think! Is Harry lying or are fans making a big deal of nothing?

I angrily shoved my phone back into my pocket. The fans aren’t happy when I am happy with someone and they aren’t happy when I tell them I am single. I knew I was going to have to do something drastic to satisfy them. I only hoped it wouldn’t make matters worse with Mads. I knew what I had/was going to do.

I informed the lads of my plans, and by no means were they thrilled to do it. Like always though, they went along with it because they truly are fantastic people.

Before going on stage Louis placed his hand on my shoulder with a concerned face, “You’re sure this is what you want to do Harry?”

I nodded my head, “I have to.”

Louis crooked his lips to the side and patted my shoulder one last time before walking off to his spot.

The show was going on really smoothly. I tried my best to act normal and flirt with the audience, even though I certainly wasn’t in the mood.

Then it was time, Liam announced, “Little Things,” and what we were going to be doing. The fans went absolutely mad. I found a random girl and pointed to her. I pulled her up on stage, and she was a bit too overly excited and in my face for my liking. I shook it off and smiled and asked her name.

I then brought her over to her chair and we began to sing the song. I knew it was key that I proved a point to the audience. When it was my turn I sang right into her ear, making my intentions perfectly clear to everyone. She was practically ecstatic about the whole situation. At least she probably wouldn’t say anything about Mads after that night. When the song finished, I sealed with a kiss on her forehead. She was gushing, but doing it felt so wrong.

With that thought in my head, I realized that Mads probably was in the audience and watched this entire things play out. My heart sunk. I suddenly didn’t know if it was worth what I did, if it meant that I personally hurt Mads even further.

We finished out the rest of the concert. I pushed thoughts of Mads out of my head the best I could. I owed this crowd a good show first. I decided I would just find her after the show and explain why I did it. I just hoped she would understand.

After the show finished, I rushed as quickly as I could to find Mads. I figured she would be in her bus, so I ran to it. I knocked three quick times on the door and was answered by someone I wasn’t expecting. Lola stepped out of the bus and shut the door behind her.

Harshly she asked, “What do YOU want?”

Sounding as polite as possible I stated, “I need to talk to Maddie.”

She shook her head, “Well, she doesn’t wish to speak with you. She is finally settled in her bunk. She told me everything. How what you did on stage tonight with that girl was how you two actually met. That was really low, Harry.”

As calmly as possible I said, “I know. I know. I just need to explain!”

“No!” Lola protested, “She is completely heart broken and told me she doesn’t ever wish to speak with you again. In fact, she is debating on going back home.”

“What!?” I asked alarmed.

She nodded her head, “…and I don’t blame her. I think she is disgusted by you right now. I just suggest you just leave, before you make matters worse. That’s all you seem to be doing lately…”

I knew there was no way I was going to get around Lola to talk to Mads. I hung my head in defeat and walked away. I refused to go back to the bus with the lads. I couldn’t face them, knowing that my plan made things worse. I know I would never hear the end of it from Lou.

Feeling a bit depressed, I decided to sneak away from the venue. I knew we were going to be leaving for our next destination in a few hours, after the crew tore down the stage, but I left anyways. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I needed to get away. I needed to clear my head of all my clouded thoughts.

I kept walking down deserted streets until I found myself entering a rather happening bar. I wasn’t one to ever really drink over my problems, in fact, I hated when people did that, but for some reason I felt differently that night. I found it rather easy for me to get a drink. I don’t know why I thought it was okay to do, but I ended getting roaring drunk.

I was afraid Lola was right, I was only making matters worse by the hour…because I was on the verge of making yet another bad decision.

Notes

Here is Harry's view on the situation. :) I hope you like it, and don't hate me...
I was going to update last night and then this morning, but my internet was being weird. :/

Thank you everyone for reading and sticking with the story! There's still a TON left. So keep me motivated guys :)

Also thank you for all the lovely comments and votes. It means so much to me!

~Comment, Rate, Subscribe~