The Chosen One
Feelings
Chapter 21: Feelings
Harry’s POV
I was drunk and stumbling through the bar. Luckily there were no paps around, or surely it would have been yet another news story for them to run absolutely wild with.
It didn’t stop me from making a complete and utter fool out of myself though. I had lost count of the number of drinks I had gulped down. Honestly, by the end of the night I couldn’t even taste anything anymore. I couldn’t help it though, I felt like a huge piece of me was missing which made the rest of me ache. I didn’t know how I could just let Mads go like that…
I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, and began not really think about my actions. I was dancing with about ten ladies on the dance floor, acting absolutely ludicrous. I was just kind of going through the motions, not sure why I was letting it all happen.
One of the tall blonde girls dancing on me to my left suddenly pulled me away off the dance floor. I am pretty sure, if it was even possible, that she was more drunk than me.
Her hands were all over me, but I didn’t try nearly as hard as I should have to get her to stop. She slurred out, “Yous look a lot like that Harry Ssstyless guy from the one band.”
I garbled, “Thatss because I am.”
She spoke, “That’ss ssoo craazzy.” Her hands then ran over the place they definitely should not have been, causing me to jump back a bit. She gave me a concerned look, “Whatss the matter?”
She stepped closer to me and started to bring her sloppy lips up to my face when a familiar voice sounds from behind us, “Haz?? What are you doing?”
It was Liam. Thank god the lads had come to find me. Louis, Niall, and Zayn all had popped up behind Liam with troubled faces.
Louis piped up, “Come on Harry. We’ve been searching everywhere for you. We need to be leaving soon.”
I nodded my head towards the random girl who I almost made a giant mistake with. I hoped there weren’t going to be any hard feelings, although I didn’t think she would even remember the night… but it seemed as though she was probably a sort of fan by the face she was giving by realizing she was standing in front of all of One Direction.
We all left her standing there stunned as we quickly exited the bar and climbed into our SUV. Louis hit the back of my head, “What the hell were you thinking?”
I had a delayed reaction to bring my hand up to my head. “Ow… Lou. That hurt…”
He gave me a stern look, “Answer the question.”
I dropped my hand from my head and looked to my feet on the floor of the car. Then I spoke, “I suppose I was just feeling a bit down for myself. I didn’t mean for whatever was about to happen to go on… she just sort of pulled me to the side. I don’t even know why I went in that bar. I just needed to clear my head.”
Liam replied with only a slight bit of humor in his voice, “…and you decide the best place to do that is in a smoky, drunkard filled bar, Haz?”
Niall added, “Not your best idea ever Harry.”
I nodded my head slowly, not looking any one of them in eye. I knew they were completely in the right. “I know, I know. I am not sure what I was thinking.”
Zayn stated, “Now you are really going to have to speak with Maddie.”
This was something I was aware of. I was worried and nervous as to what she would think… if she would even speak with me. Apprehensively, I asked the lads, “Do you think she will ever forgive me?”
They all looked to each other with unsure countenances before Louis looked me in the eye and said, “Honestly… I have no idea at this point Harry.”
The car ride was silent for the rest of the short drive back to the venue. When we arrived I climbed onto the bus and went straight back to the bunks. I crawled in and pulled the heavy curtain across to close out the world around me. Only, I felt so constricted there, I was longing for a bed to help give me more comfort at that point in time.
I laid on my back staring at the ceiling of the bunk. As the bus began to roll I only had one thing on my mind…. Mads. I really needed to talk to her. I so badly needed to straighten everything out with her. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being upset anymore. I needed to tell her about the night at the bar. …but more importantly tell her… I love her.
Madeline’s POV
The bus finally began to move. We were on our way to Mansfield, Massachusetts. I was unsure of how long I had been laying in the solitude of my bunk. I had told Lola everything that happened from the beginning, so badly needing to let it all out. It was nice to not have to hide my feelings from her anymore, but I just wanted to be alone afterwards.
I hadn’t talked to Lacey, but I am pretty sure she knew exactly what was wrong. She was standing back stage when it happened after all. So, she didn’t bother me in my isolation either.
My thoughts were, as usual, consumed completely of Harry. I couldn’t believe what he did. I thought that I actually meant something to him. It was hard enough for me that he ended everything, but to just shove it in my face like that was like the end of my rope. I couldn’t take the pain I felt inside my heart. I cared for him too much. To top it all off, I was most surprised that he didn’t at least come to talk to me about it after the concert. That is what made me realize that he really didn’t care at all about me. I kept thinking to myself, “He could have any girl he wants, why would he want an ordinary girl like me?” I eventually wept myself to sleep where I dreamed of nothing.
I woke up the next morning, first noticing that our bus was stopped. We were in Mansfield. I decided that I was sick of lying in my bunk and climbed out to find most people were still asleep. I guess it was still probably fairly early. I normally wouldn’t be up at that particular hour, but I fell asleep a lot sooner than most other people the previous night.
I changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a zip-up hoodie. I then left the bus for a walk, deciding it would be good to sort of check out the venue. Also, I felt like the fresh air would help the pounding sensation I was feeling in my head.
I was walking with my hood over my head, hands in my pocket, and my iPod playing in my ears. There was quite a few other people awake rushing around getting things ready. I wasn’t really paying much attention to where I was walking. I wasn’t really paying much attention to where I was walking because I was getting lost in my music.
Then out of nowhere I ran into a rather large body. My ear buds fell out of my ears and it sent me back a few steps. I looked up to surprisingly find Liam.
“Maddie! I feel like we haven’t seen you for ages!” he stated excitedly.
I didn’t catch his eye. “Oh, yeah… I’ve just been busy working in merchandise I guess.”
His excitement dropped a little most likely sensing the awkwardness in the situation. “So…umm…did you happen to see last night’s show?”
I didn’t say anything, but slowly nodded my head.
Liam’s mouth moved to one side, “You know he has a reason for it all, right? I know he can make some absolutely mad decisions, but I think he honestly does care about you, Maddie.”
My eyes met his. “I don’t know, Liam.”
“I think you two should chat.”
“I feel like we don’t have anything to say to each other. He made himself pretty clear the last time.”
Liam took a step closer to me, “I think you would be surprised.” I didn’t say anything, so he continued, “I could tell him to meet you somewhere maybe?”
“Umm… I’ll think about it?” I stated.
Liam nodded his head slightly. “Good. You have no idea. He really has been an absolute wreck since whatever went down between the two of you.”
“He didn’t tell you guys all about it?” I asked.
“No.” he said in a serious tone. “That’s the thing about Haz. When he’s happy, he was a hard time holding it all in, but when something is bothering him, he refuses to talk about it.”
I pondered that thought for a few seconds. “Maybe… I should speak with him…”
Liam smiled, “Great! I’ll tell Haz to find you after the show or something.”
I nodded my head, “Thanks Liam.”
He patted my shoulder before continuing walking, “Anytime Maddie! See you around!”
I went out for a walk in hopes of clearing my head. I was walking back to the bus with my head even more confused. Was Liam right, was Harry actually a wreck? I had no idea how Harry felt about me. How I felt about him. What was running through his head? What were we going to talk about? Was it going to turn out okay? Or was it going to make everything worse?
Harry’s POV
I was drunk and stumbling through the bar. Luckily there were no paps around, or surely it would have been yet another news story for them to run absolutely wild with.
It didn’t stop me from making a complete and utter fool out of myself though. I had lost count of the number of drinks I had gulped down. Honestly, by the end of the night I couldn’t even taste anything anymore. I couldn’t help it though, I felt like a huge piece of me was missing which made the rest of me ache. I didn’t know how I could just let Mads go like that…
I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, and began not really think about my actions. I was dancing with about ten ladies on the dance floor, acting absolutely ludicrous. I was just kind of going through the motions, not sure why I was letting it all happen.
One of the tall blonde girls dancing on me to my left suddenly pulled me away off the dance floor. I am pretty sure, if it was even possible, that she was more drunk than me.
Her hands were all over me, but I didn’t try nearly as hard as I should have to get her to stop. She slurred out, “Yous look a lot like that Harry Ssstyless guy from the one band.”
I garbled, “Thatss because I am.”
She spoke, “That’ss ssoo craazzy.” Her hands then ran over the place they definitely should not have been, causing me to jump back a bit. She gave me a concerned look, “Whatss the matter?”
She stepped closer to me and started to bring her sloppy lips up to my face when a familiar voice sounds from behind us, “Haz?? What are you doing?”
It was Liam. Thank god the lads had come to find me. Louis, Niall, and Zayn all had popped up behind Liam with troubled faces.
Louis piped up, “Come on Harry. We’ve been searching everywhere for you. We need to be leaving soon.”
I nodded my head towards the random girl who I almost made a giant mistake with. I hoped there weren’t going to be any hard feelings, although I didn’t think she would even remember the night… but it seemed as though she was probably a sort of fan by the face she was giving by realizing she was standing in front of all of One Direction.
We all left her standing there stunned as we quickly exited the bar and climbed into our SUV. Louis hit the back of my head, “What the hell were you thinking?”
I had a delayed reaction to bring my hand up to my head. “Ow… Lou. That hurt…”
He gave me a stern look, “Answer the question.”
I dropped my hand from my head and looked to my feet on the floor of the car. Then I spoke, “I suppose I was just feeling a bit down for myself. I didn’t mean for whatever was about to happen to go on… she just sort of pulled me to the side. I don’t even know why I went in that bar. I just needed to clear my head.”
Liam replied with only a slight bit of humor in his voice, “…and you decide the best place to do that is in a smoky, drunkard filled bar, Haz?”
Niall added, “Not your best idea ever Harry.”
I nodded my head slowly, not looking any one of them in eye. I knew they were completely in the right. “I know, I know. I am not sure what I was thinking.”
Zayn stated, “Now you are really going to have to speak with Maddie.”
This was something I was aware of. I was worried and nervous as to what she would think… if she would even speak with me. Apprehensively, I asked the lads, “Do you think she will ever forgive me?”
They all looked to each other with unsure countenances before Louis looked me in the eye and said, “Honestly… I have no idea at this point Harry.”
The car ride was silent for the rest of the short drive back to the venue. When we arrived I climbed onto the bus and went straight back to the bunks. I crawled in and pulled the heavy curtain across to close out the world around me. Only, I felt so constricted there, I was longing for a bed to help give me more comfort at that point in time.
I laid on my back staring at the ceiling of the bunk. As the bus began to roll I only had one thing on my mind…. Mads. I really needed to talk to her. I so badly needed to straighten everything out with her. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being upset anymore. I needed to tell her about the night at the bar. …but more importantly tell her… I love her.
Madeline’s POV
The bus finally began to move. We were on our way to Mansfield, Massachusetts. I was unsure of how long I had been laying in the solitude of my bunk. I had told Lola everything that happened from the beginning, so badly needing to let it all out. It was nice to not have to hide my feelings from her anymore, but I just wanted to be alone afterwards.
I hadn’t talked to Lacey, but I am pretty sure she knew exactly what was wrong. She was standing back stage when it happened after all. So, she didn’t bother me in my isolation either.
My thoughts were, as usual, consumed completely of Harry. I couldn’t believe what he did. I thought that I actually meant something to him. It was hard enough for me that he ended everything, but to just shove it in my face like that was like the end of my rope. I couldn’t take the pain I felt inside my heart. I cared for him too much. To top it all off, I was most surprised that he didn’t at least come to talk to me about it after the concert. That is what made me realize that he really didn’t care at all about me. I kept thinking to myself, “He could have any girl he wants, why would he want an ordinary girl like me?” I eventually wept myself to sleep where I dreamed of nothing.
I woke up the next morning, first noticing that our bus was stopped. We were in Mansfield. I decided that I was sick of lying in my bunk and climbed out to find most people were still asleep. I guess it was still probably fairly early. I normally wouldn’t be up at that particular hour, but I fell asleep a lot sooner than most other people the previous night.
I changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a zip-up hoodie. I then left the bus for a walk, deciding it would be good to sort of check out the venue. Also, I felt like the fresh air would help the pounding sensation I was feeling in my head.
I was walking with my hood over my head, hands in my pocket, and my iPod playing in my ears. There was quite a few other people awake rushing around getting things ready. I wasn’t really paying much attention to where I was walking. I wasn’t really paying much attention to where I was walking because I was getting lost in my music.
Then out of nowhere I ran into a rather large body. My ear buds fell out of my ears and it sent me back a few steps. I looked up to surprisingly find Liam.
“Maddie! I feel like we haven’t seen you for ages!” he stated excitedly.
I didn’t catch his eye. “Oh, yeah… I’ve just been busy working in merchandise I guess.”
His excitement dropped a little most likely sensing the awkwardness in the situation. “So…umm…did you happen to see last night’s show?”
I didn’t say anything, but slowly nodded my head.
Liam’s mouth moved to one side, “You know he has a reason for it all, right? I know he can make some absolutely mad decisions, but I think he honestly does care about you, Maddie.”
My eyes met his. “I don’t know, Liam.”
“I think you two should chat.”
“I feel like we don’t have anything to say to each other. He made himself pretty clear the last time.”
Liam took a step closer to me, “I think you would be surprised.” I didn’t say anything, so he continued, “I could tell him to meet you somewhere maybe?”
“Umm… I’ll think about it?” I stated.
Liam nodded his head slightly. “Good. You have no idea. He really has been an absolute wreck since whatever went down between the two of you.”
“He didn’t tell you guys all about it?” I asked.
“No.” he said in a serious tone. “That’s the thing about Haz. When he’s happy, he was a hard time holding it all in, but when something is bothering him, he refuses to talk about it.”
I pondered that thought for a few seconds. “Maybe… I should speak with him…”
Liam smiled, “Great! I’ll tell Haz to find you after the show or something.”
I nodded my head, “Thanks Liam.”
He patted my shoulder before continuing walking, “Anytime Maddie! See you around!”
I went out for a walk in hopes of clearing my head. I was walking back to the bus with my head even more confused. Was Liam right, was Harry actually a wreck? I had no idea how Harry felt about me. How I felt about him. What was running through his head? What were we going to talk about? Was it going to turn out okay? Or was it going to make everything worse?
Notes
Here it is guys! I wanted to update this sooner, but it has taken me forever to write this chapter... I have a couple reasons though.1. I couldn't decide what I wanted to come out of the bar scene.
2. I wasn't sure if I wanted them to talk in this chapter.
3. I have been going through a lot lately... (My boyfriend of three years has just broke up with me) ... but at least it resulted in a bit of a happier chapter for you guys! ... I didn't want to write a sad chapter when I was already feeling sad. So, it turned out like this.
Hope you like it!
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11/16/13