Samanthas POV
-His large hand entwined with mine once again. I felt myself relax, and I looked over to him, his eyes traced over my lips and then into my eyes. He leaned towards me slightly and then his velvety voice spoke once more
“I’m sorry, I just get so protective over you Sam.”-
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My eyes lids were heavy. I could feel the weight of fatigue surfacing over them, pushing every bit of strength to open them away. Moving my fingers was the only thing possible right now and the softness from bed sheets were under my touch. I was scared to move them more in case my finger tips brushed against nothingness. Nothingness that should have been filled with the warmth of his body.
Harry wasn’t here.
The bed was cold without him when I finally managed to pry my heavy eyelids open. My eyes keeping on the ceiling as my hands felt around the feathered bed sheets exploring the missing feeling it held. How desperately I wanted to wrap my arms around him, feel him against me. This shouldn’t have happened. I should have stopped him.
I remembered back to the dream I had encountered that night. Harry and me sat in his van, his hand entwined with mine outside the hospital. I brushed the tip of my fingers along the bed sheets again trying to hold back the tears that threatened to become loose. Harry was protective over me. Whatever he had done, it must have been to do with me. Meaning that the reason he was barely alive in a room on his own was my fault.
A twinge of guilt and hurt plucked at my heart and I hid my face in my hands. I wasn’t going to cry. I wasn’t going to cry. Suddenly I felt myself go rigid and I sat up facing the wall opposite me. The door was there, it would lead out to the hallway and then I would be able to run to Harry.
Harry was protective over me. I was protective over him. I had to see him. This couldn’t happen again.
Looking down I saw that I was in the same clothes as yesterday. Whoever had taken my sobbing body up to bed hadn’t been one to feel comfortable changing me. Never again would I let myself become that weak. But Harry made me weak. He was my everything. My strengths, my desires…my weakness. And I was his. I tried not to think of Harry being beaten to death, but it kept crossing my mind. Making me more and more weak.
My body started shaking and I brought my knees up to my chest burying my head into them, hoping somehow this might stop the tears to come. My eyes glanced around the room quickly and I saw that most of the bed sheets had been thrown on the floor or were hanging off of the bed.
I couldn’t remember how I slept but it must have been bad. I always thought sleeping would be the best way to block everything, everyone out. Obviously this time it hadn’t worked for me.
A faint knock was sounded on the door and I lifted my head up. My heart was beating a little faster than normal and I quickly pressed my palms to my eyes trying to hide the fact they were bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep.
Sliding off of the bed I made my way to the door and took a deep breath before opening it. Donny stood there, he too looking like a complete mess however he had managed to change his clothes and most probably wash. Thinking about it I probably do look horrendous but I wouldn’t dare turn around and look in the mirror. I wouldn’t let myself face myself this way.
“Sammi-“ He stopped and looked up and down me. The sweater I was wearing crumpled and falling off of my shoulders, my skinnies were fine although at this moment they must have made me look even more ghostly and dead. I didn’t have to think to know my hair was a complete mess of waves. I watched him take a heavy breath before he started to speak again. My hand shaking behind the door which I held open.
“Harry is awake. You can see him if you want to…” I gulped and a ragged breath came out. Looking down at the floor making sure he couldn’t see my face I nodded solemnly. I didn’t want Harry to see me this way. He would want me to be smiling and joking with him like normal. But I couldn’t. Everything that had happened to him was so overwhelming my whole body felt like it was burning and freezing at the same time.
“Sammi you don’t have to if you aren’t ready. He can’t really focus on anything very well.” My heart stung in my chest and I kept my eyes on the floor. Gripping my hold on the door handle so tight to stop myself from breaking down again it hurt.
“Have you seen him?” I asked quietly and I felt his hand on my arm as he brushed his thumb up and down slowly. Trying to comfort me I expect. But all I wanted was Harry. Although I was grateful for his attempt.
“No. I haven’t. Everyone else has. I don’t think he would want to see me after I practically made his life hell.” It was understandable but I knew Donny was sad due to the things he had done.
“I’ll go see him.” I desperately wanted to sprint down the hall, through the house to his room. But I had to stay calm and not show any sign of nervousness. Hopefully this time I wouldn’t start screaming after seeing him.
I looked up and Donny smiled comfortingly at me. Stepping out of the room we made our way down the hall together.
“Apparently he wasn’t stabbed completely. The knife barely made it’s way in before they person that did it ran. But it still was enough to make him bleed out drastically.” I felt myself feeling sick from the thought and I covered my mouth with my hand as I gagged a little. Donny must have seen because he put his arm around me quickly and held me to him.
“I’m sorry Sammi it just came out, I shouldn’t have said anything.” I let him walk me down the stairs but one thought kept crossing my mind more than it should have. The coward who ran. Anger built up within me and I suddenly felt myself trying to hit my head and hurt myself in anyway possible. I deserve it. That person should have been hurting me not Harry. Donny had grabbed my arms and he was holding me against him tightly so my face was against his chest.
I tried to move my arms again but he was too strong for me, especially considering my broken arm screamed with pain every time I moved it.
“Stop. Stop it now. Harry wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself Samantha.” He was right. I was being selfish, Harry was here and that was all that mattered.
“Let me go…” I found myself mumbling into his chest but he held me to him still.
“Promise me you won’t hurt yourself Sammi. None of this was your fault.” Sniffling I nodded and he let his arms drop from around me. Taking a deep breath he stroked my head softly before walking me down the rest of the stairs.
Turning we made our way into the living room where I had seen everyone crying just yesterday but no one was there right now. They were probably with Harry, and I should be too.
Walking down the same way I had gone yesterday we were now face to face with the door to Harry. I could hear laughing inside that sounded like Zayn’s. Niall and Louis were cracking up about something and Liam was also joining it. Smiling to myself I was thankful Harry had them to help cheer him up after what had happened.
I didn’t knock on the door, I was too scared. But Donny opened it quietly and carefully for me before I made my way in. I knew Donny didn’t want to come in but he looked so desperate to help me, so I felt his presence move behind me before shutting the door. Last time I was here I hadn’t realised how big the room really was. It’s ceiling was high up and the floor was polished wood. Harry was no longer in the middle and I couldn’t really see him through the crowd of five guys surrounding a bed in the corner. My heart thudded against my chest and shakily I walked to them.
They started to laugh again and I stood frozen in my tracks. None of them knew we were here and I couldn’t just stop the banter they had going on. It would ruin Harry’s mood if my shaking, hysterical self was seen by him. Turning around I made my way out the door but Donny stood in front of my making me turn around again.
“Harry needs you.” He whispered so quietly I could barely here it at all. Not wanting to look at him I nodded and walked slightly faster this time over to them. Stopping just around a metre behind to listen to what they were saying.
They were all joking and I couldn’t see Harry. Although a few of his messy curls stuck up and I urged to run my fingers through them. Suddenly Niall turned around and saw me, his eyes widened and he nudged Louis. Slowly they all saw me but I shook my head hoping they wouldn’t stop making Harry smile.
Zayn nodded and discreetly pointed to a chair on the other side of the room. Smiling at him I walked to it and sat down, my legs feeling so shaky I was thankful I didn’t fall down in front of them. I so desperately wanted to see Harry but I couldn’t stop what he and the guys had. Crossing my legs to them from shaking I noticed a table next to me. It was long and was covered with fresh dressings, medical kits and other things I didn’t dare to look at.
I could feel myself feeling slightly nauseous again and leant my head back against the chair. Five minutes or so later Niall had gotten up and was making his way to me. I noticed his blond hair was also messy and uncared for. He must have had a bad night too. I’d be surprised if anyone didn’t.
“We are gonna let you talk to him now Sam. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine don’t worry.” I smiled at him reassuringly and stood up again. My legs wobbled slightly but I tried not to show it in front of him. Walking back to Harry’s bed the rest of the guys were smiling at me when they passed and Louis put his hand on my shoulder, encouraging me lightly. He looked at me and I could feel his eyes telling me everything was going to be okay.
The chairs around Harry’s bed were askew and my mind was beating so fast I didn’t know which one to take. So I stood looking like an idiot behind them. My eyes trailing over Harry and his eyes pierced back into mine. I covered my mouth with my hand as a sob escaped my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDqoIhiUJp4 LISTEN TO IT WHILST READING TRUST ME MON ;)

“Come here…” his voice was still pure like velvet but croaked when he spoke. I started to shake and forced my eyes open to look him. The bruises along one side of his face looked even worse. Deep blue hues stood out against his brown skin and I choked back another sob. The cut lip didn’t look any different from how I remembered it yesterday. Once again he was only covered by a sheet that was above his stomach.
I knew I was shaking drastically but I couldn’t stop it this time. He was sat up against pillows and when he tried to sit up higher to reach for me he groaned from pain. Quickly forgetting everything I rushed to him and helped him sit back against them again. I placed them so they covered his back and were more comfortable than before. He smiled at me a little, although I could see it was hurting him. I sat in the chair closest to him and brushed my thumb along his cheek bone lightly. His eyes fell shut and I saw his eyelashes slightly beaten and all in different directions. I ran my thumb over them gently to try and tidy them but he opened his eyes as soon as I touched his lid.
My lip wobbled when he looked at me again, those green eyes widening with desperation to touch me. I had to help him. I would do anything he wanted.
“You know…you would be a good wife.” He winked at me lazily and I smiled at him, my lip still wobbling as my eyes clouded with tears. “You could re-arrange my pillows everyday. I wouldn’t mind.” He spoke some more and I felt his forehead fall forward onto mine. Staying very still when he groaned again from the pain I tried to move him back carefully to his pillows.
“No. I want to touch you.” He said through gritted teeth and his forehead leaned against mine one more.
“Harry- it’s hurting you…” My heart was still beating fast but it was slowing from having Harry with me once more.
“I don’t care.” He lifted his arm up, well tried and managed to brush my cheek with a few fingers before it fell to his side again.
“I care. I don’t want you in any more pain…” We were speaking so quietly I hadn’t even realised. It was as though our words were precious secrets only other had the authority to keep.
“I can deal with it beautiful. You are here that’s all that matters.” His voice croaked and he started to slump forward his strength not being able to sit him back up. I felt his head fall on my shoulder and he cursed from the pain that surged up and down his back. I couldn’t sit and watch him endure this hurt any longer. Tears stung my eyes and I carefully moved him back to the pillows. He looked at me defeated and his fingers tried to entwine with mine. I laughed shakily when he kept trying to hook my pinky finger with his and I helped him to hold my hand. Even something this small was hard for him to do and I saw how weak Harry was.
I had to be there for him. I wasn’t going to go.
He smiled again and closed his eyes, but I could tell he was straining to keep them open. My thumb lightly brushed his comfortingly and his head rolled to the side to try and look at me. Without realisation I cupped his cheeks in my hands helped him to move his head back into the middle of the pillow.
“You look so beautiful Sam. Sam. Sam. Samantha. Nope Sam is beautiful too. But you think it’s a boys name.”
I laughed at his dreary comments, he was acting almost drunk. It was probably the painkillers hooked into his wrist.
“Shhh you, we need to find you a better support.” He quickly took my hand back into his, clenching from the hurt before he gripped my hand tighter. I stopped looking around the room for something and my eyes were back onto his.
“Don’t go-“ He breathed out and I took his one hand in both of mine.
“I won’t go. I promise. But you need something to rest on.” He leant forward and his lips managed to brush mine ever so slightly before I had to help his head back up. Our forehead were against the others again and I pressed my lips to his carefully. But he didn’t hold back even though the pain was excruciating to him. Our lips moved gently against the others and I could feel him trying to keep his mouth moving against mine for as long as possible.
“You can be my rest Sam. Please I don’t need anything but you.” He rambled quietly into my lips and I wrapped my arms slowly around him. He was shaking. Whether his was cold or scared I don’t know. But I was here for him. The bed was quite big, so thankfully being small like me I could just about manage to sit next to him without falling off. His head still leant against mine but he was slouching to try and keep it there.
“Maybe we should lie down Harry?”
“I don’t want to seem weak.” His velvet voice spoke strongly. Harry was just like me. Trying to show how strong his was in a time of pure weakness. Not wanting people to see him for the reckless fragile boy he really was.
“You aren’t weak silly, you are beautiful and I love you. Even now you are trying to look after me. Harry I’m here now, I’m going to look after you. I promise. Just like I promised I wouldn’t go.” He opened his eyes and looked into mine.
“You are the beautiful one.” We kissed again and I this time I must have pressed to hard onto his cut lip because he groaned loudly from it.
“Oh Harry I’m so sorry.” I took his face in my hands and carefully ran my thumb over his cut and bruised lip. I could feel him watching me the whole time my fingers explored his broken and bruised face. Tears welling up in my eyes every time he winced.
“Don’t cry Sam please don’t cry.” I couldn’t stop myself. Tears ran down my cheeks whilst I sobbed. I tried so hard to stop but only gasps could be heard from my mouth.
“Who did this to you?” Crying as I said these words his hand ran up and down my back lightly. This movement didn’t seem to cause him much pain or trouble. Or maybe he was just hiding it to stop me from crying even more.
“Sam- I don’t want you to do anything risking your life.“ He croaked and I looked him dead in the eyes again. Slowly he tried to move us to lie down together but shouted from the pain. My arm went under his back trying to help him as my other caressed his cheek lightly. When we lay down I realised the arm I had helped him down with was my broken one and I also screamed from it as his back lay upon it’s withered state. Quickly even though it hurt him badly he moved me from under him and cuddled me into him, whilst caressing my broken arm and I caressed his body with my other. Pulling him against me more. Trying to let him now he was safe now.
“I’m so sorry Sam.” He said quietly into my forehead and I found myself sobbing a little as he apologised over and over again. Not from the excruciating pain flowing from my elbow to the tips of my fingers but from him being so apologetic over something that wasn’t his fault at all.
“It’s was my fault Harry. I put my arm behind you, don’t apologise it’s not your fault, it’s not your fault.” He was breathing fast and lay fully on his back finally. The arm that wasn’t broken was slung around his waist and he wrapped his around me. Stroking my back slowly. Sometimes I could feel him brushing my skin with the tips of this fingers and I felt my heart flutter as a response. Harry’s touch never became old.
“How is your…umm…” I trailed off not wanting to say it for the lump in the back of my throat was threatening more tears.
“My knife wound?” He said easily and I could feel his fingers playing with the ends of my hair like normal again.
I nodded and he slowly moved the sheet down from his body.
“Wait- are you naked?” He laughed a little and kissed my forehead hard pulling me into him more, obviously he was ignoring the pain.
“Unfortunately no I’m not naked in bed with you again. I’m wearing some boxers.” I sighed from relief. It still scared me to think about the strange pleasurable feeling when Harry was inside me, and I thought about it a lot.
He brushed the hair that fell in front of my face and I blushed from it like normal.
“So beautiful.” He said and I ran my hand down his torso, not daring to look when I reached the wrapped up wound on his waist. We kept our eyes on each others but when I felt a cloth texture he squeezed his shut and cursed again. Quickly I pulled my hand back and his eyes relaxed, but stayed closed.
I watched him slowly start to drift off. I knew he didn’t want to because I was here. But he was becoming so tired and losing all his strength from the small things he had done to me. Brushing my hair, kissing my forehead, wrapping his arms around me and speaking to me. I was hurting him and I felt even more guilty because of this.
But anger swelled up in my chest. I was going to find the person that did this to Harry and I wasn’t going to let him go lightly.

Notes

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed :)

Katie x

KIK <---- @katieespoon