Samanthas POV
“What?” I say with disbelief. The thought of Tanya carrying Donny’s baby made my hurt drop into my stomach. Would he stay with her? Would he be there for her? My eyes met hers and I could see a small cluster of tears brink on her water line. She was crying. I moved myself over to her and sat next to her against the bath tub. Her head fell onto my shoulder as sobs escaped her mouth as well as gasps for air.
I knew I was bad at comforting people, I was bad at a lot of things. But I guess I needed to start getting better. Gently I wrapped my arms around her shaking body and tried my best to calm her. Tanya was much taller than me, with her curvy model physique and normally cowered over me. However as she sat crying into my small body she seemed almost non-existent, like all the lights weren’t on her anymore and she was fading.
After a few minutes Tanya’s face came up and her eyes weren’t expectedly smeared with makeup. She looked tired and sick, not wanting to cover herself in the usual cake makeup she acquired. For some reason I felt like I could be more natural around this version of her.
Her lip wobbled when she spoke and her hands hastily fumbled at her red, watering eyes. Trying so desperately not to show vulnerability. Like I normal do.
“What do I do Sam? Donny won’t want this.”
“You don’t know that Tanya, I’m sure Donny would be happ-“
“No. He wouldn’t. He doesn’t want a child to raise. You know what he is like.” But that was the thing. I didn’t. I had only ever spoken to the real Donny a couple of times out the many years we had known each other. Being honest with myself I had no idea what Donny would think about this. But Tanya needed him more than ever.
“Have you done a pregnancy test?” I said carefully not wanting her to break down again, even though a tear still ran down her cheek then and now. She moved over to the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a blue box.
“I haven’t. But isn’t it obvious? Morning sickness. I’m tired all the time, food is less than appetizing. Not to mention my boobs are getting even bigger.” I laughed at this comment and I saw her smile as well.
“Why don’t you go try and have some breakfast and calm down. Then I will come and be with you when you take the test?”
She nodded and her brown eyes looked into mine.
“Thank you Sam. It’s weird to think we are this close now.” Her lips murmured and I sighed lightly with agreement.
Taking her elbows in my hands I helped her up and we stood in the middle of the bathroom. My mind suddenly looked over to the sick covered toilet and I remember when Tanya had been sick all over me once before.
“I’ll clean it up don’t worry.” She said and pushed me out of the bathroom as I protested to help. Suddenly I came into contact with a familiar warmth and smell. Looking up I saw Harry looking slightly worried and he peered around me to look in the bathroom. Quickly I tried my best to cover up the scene behind the door and shut it carefully.
“Yes?” I said whilst smiling at him. His lips brushed against my forehead lightly and I felt his hand tuck the same fallen strand of hair from my face.
“You were taking a long time to get a towel Sam. I was just a little…concerned that’s all.” His eyes found mine and I was lost for another time in those green flames that never stopped burning inside me.
“You shouldn’t worry about me Harry-“
“After you almost drowned last night? How can I not worry even more about you?” I felt his warm hands on my shoulders as he pressed me up against the wall gently. My eyes never leaving his. His eyes never leaving mine.
“You shouldn’t still care about what happened last night. I was stupid and pathetic.” I felt myself barely whisper to him.
“You are neither of those things Sam. When I was under that water with you and you were so light, lifeless…I thought I was going to die with you. You scared me so much.” He ran his thumb lightly across my cheek bone and the door next to us was pulled open.
We turned and Tanya was eyeing us with a smirk on her lips. Obviously feeling better as she watched Harry pinning me to the wall.
“I’ll just be going.” She smiled and walked down the hall way into her bedroom. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and I saw Harry looking frustrated. His teeth biting his lower lip softly. Turning a small part lighter when he released the bite. He was so beautiful. The curve of his jaw bone, the hint of blush on his cheeks, the protective look in his eyes. I moved up onto my tip toes and caressed his cheeks in my hands. My lips pressed against his and he pushed back onto mine. I felt his strong arms go around my back and lifting me onto his waist.
“So that shower then?” His lips turned into a smirk as he said these words and I found myself giggling as he hauled me up onto his shoulder and carried me back to our room.
-------------
Harry’s hands helped me out the shower as my knees knocked against each other and my legs bucked now and again. I was shivering uncontrollably and Harry had his lips brushing my ear, saying words to calm me down.
When the water had hit me I had pushed myself out the shower so fast and hard I had managed to trip over the edge falling onto the floor. My hands had somehow managed to protect my fall but it still made my broken arm scream in pain. I had gotten used to being underwater again after a while, but the thought of my body submerged under cold water, unmoving made me shiver.
I felt the warm towel wrap around my body and Harry’s hands ran up and down my arms slowly, trying to warm me and comfort me at the same time.
“See that wasn’t so bad was it?” His velvet voice carried through my ears. I shook my head and leant against him for support. We made our way back to the room and I quickly pulled on some underwear, a baggy jumper and blue skinnies. I had to find Tanya and talk to Donny. I wasn’t going to tell him but I needed to somehow figure out he would be there for her.
Turning around I felt Harry’s lips go against mine and his hand cupped the back of my neck lightly.
“I don’t want to do this but I have to meet the guys for an hour or so Sam…” I knew he was scared of leaving me. He probably thought I would end up almost dying again. He was the only I one I remember to be there when I was pulled out the pool. My mind couldn’t remember Donny or Tanya at all. But I doubt they were there.
“Harry I’ll be fine.” I smiled at him reassuringly and he still held the same serious expression as his hands moved to cup my face.
“I said I wouldn’t leave you alone again. And I’m already doing it.” His face showed sadness and I ran my hand through his hair ruffling it up into a messy state. He smiled and I giggled as his lips quickly pressed against mine again.
“I won’t be alone. Donny and Tanya are here. I swear I will be okay.”
His eyes searched mine and I kissed his nose without hesitation. “You are as cute as a button.” I heard him whisper as he leaned to kiss me again, suddenly before our lips met my body was thrown over his shoulder and I screamed playfully. He ran down the hall and towards the stairs.
“Harry! Stop!”
“Sam! Stop!” He said mimic- kingly. I found myself giggling as he ran through the house even more. Kicking my legs in the air he finally placed me down on to the floor and took my hands in his. Slowly he wrapped them around his neck and kissed me softly.
“I’ll be back in a few hours okay?”
“Okay.” I smiled and smacked his bum before running off. Strong arms wrapped around my waist and he lifted me off of the floor. I tried to wriggle free but he held me tightly to him.
“Did you just hit my bum?” He said into my ear the corners of his mouth tugging up out of the edge of my vision.
“No?” His lips kissed up and down my neck quickly and I felt his curls brushing against my cheek. I found myself blushing crazily and footsteps walking into the front room.
We both looked up at the same time and Donny stood there staring at us. A carton of orange juice in his hand. His light brown hair was ruffled, with small parts sticking up here and there. Strangely my fingers urged to smooth them down. My eyes fell upon his and we stared at each other for a few seconds before my mind suddenly realised what was happening and caused my gaze to avert somewhere else. For some reason his eyes showed rage, but were over powered by something else. Was it care? Happiness to see us like this?
Harry placed me down on the floor again and his lips quickly pressed against my cheek.
“I have to go out for a bit Donny, make sure Sam doesn’t-“
“Doesn’t what?” I looked at Harry and raised my eyebrow. I’m strong. I don’t know why Harry was so protective over me. I could take care of myself. Although I knew he was just being cautious and caring.
“Doesn’t do anything careless again.” He smiled at me and took the ends of my hair into his long fingers, twirling it slowly. Almost like he was trying to show Donny I was his. I couldn’t stand the feeling between them so I quickly replied.
“You are the reckless one remember?” Sticking my tongue out at him, his hand left me and he turned to the front door. It’s big oak surface reflecting the light from the tall windows either side. Giving Harry’s features even more prominence and beauty.
“I’ll be back soon.” He smiled before picking up his guitar case which was leaning by the door and made his way out. The shutting of the door behind him left silence between me and Donny. Turning around he was still stood in the same place. The orange juice carton still open and the smell was slowly whirling around me. I heard my stomach rumble and Donny must have too for he spoke up and smiled at me. It wasn’t a smirk. It wasn’t anything that looked like he was going to do something with me. It was a smile. Donny was smiling.
“Come on, let’s get you some breakfast.”
--------------------
“Let me guess you cook pancakes too?” Donny laughed as he took out various food items from the fridge. I was sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen. Even though no one had been in to clean the house, my eyes still saw it as completely spotless. As though if one small fragment of dirt entered it would suddenly shrivel up and evaporate on the spot. I swung myself around in small circles waiting for the sweet smell of food Donny was cooking to pass my lips. My stomach rumbling again and again with desperation.
“I can cook pancakes if you really want me to. I’m sure you will prefer mine.” I caught him smiling at me and I found myself beaming back. What was I doing? No Samantha stop.
Suddenly my trail of thoughts were interrupted by Tanya. She slumped into the barstool next to me and almost fell off it. Quickly I grabbed her and held her back from falling. She mouthed a breathless thank you to me and leant her elbows of the surface in front of us. Her brown curls which now looked more ratty than the usual pristine perfection hung over her head as she looked down. My whole body felt sorry for her. I couldn’t imagine the thoughts she was going through. To have a baby inside of her? A baby of the guy who admittedly said he loved me around a month or so ago. I had to talk to Donny for Tanya.
“Tanya how are you feeling?” Donny’s voice had travelled to Tanya and she shook her head not daring to look at him. He left the frying pan sizzling and moved over to Tanya. Jumping up I quickly took the frying pan and prodded at the bacon so it wouldn’t burn from Donny’s departure. I couldn’t stop myself from watching them out the corner of my eye. Donny was stroking Tanya’s hair as she mumbled to him. A sign of affection. This is good. Obviously Donny wasn’t just with Tanya for sex. He cared.
“I can get you some paracetamol? Maybe it would help your headache?” He said quietly, but my ears still picked it up. I looked down at the bacon that was now crisping and I cursed to myself. I had never cooked before. This is when Harry’s presence would have been much needed. I didn’t really want to the be the person to offer Tanya burnt food after she had just been throwing up. Quickly I grabbed a fork and picked it up off of the frying pan. Observing it, it was only slightly black so I nodded and thought it should do. What? I’m new at this okay? It’s better than a load of burnt ashes in a frying pan. At least there is a tiny something for Tanya to bite into.
Feeling proud with my creation I put it on a plate and passed it to Tanya across the island. I smiled at her and she looked at me, trying to smile back. I watched the colour drain from her face again and her hand covered her mouth when she saw the food.
A small gag came from her as a reaction to the smell and Donny walked her quickly to the sink. I turned away and grabbed the plate of burnt food before tipping it into the bin.
“It wasn’t that bad was it?” I said to Tanya and Donny trying to get her to smile even slightly.
“It smelled amazing Sam. I love a good bit of charcoal for breakfast.” I found myself laughing and Donny brushed hair from her face carefully as she retreated from the sink back to the barstool. She hadn’t been sick but it was close. And I couldn’t help but feel responsible for it with my burnt cooking.
She slowly sat down and the colour started to return to her brown skin. I had never seen her so quiet and small before. Her bubbly voice was no longer there and her eyes showed how weak she was. She didn’t like being this way. I could tell.
Donny took the frying pan from me and started to cook an edible breakfast whilst I sat back next to Tanya.
A drink with fizzing tablets in was passed to her by Donny and she took it hesitantly. Her hands shaking as she tried to hold up the heavy glass. I held the bottom, helping her to hold it and hoping I wasn’t pushing it up too much making her drown in the antibiotic liquid.
She downed it all slowly and then ran her fingers through her hair as Donny moved a plate in front of her and sat down in the next barstool on her opposite side. He passed me a bacon sandwich and I thanked him.
“So why is Harry meeting the band again?” Donny said to me and I shrugged whilst taking a bite. I saw his eyes kept looking towards me but mostly resting on the struggling to eat Tanya.
“Probably practice or something. He took his guitar so that’s what I’m assuming anyway.” Donny nodded but for some reason he looked worried.
“So what do you want to do today? I was gonna go see Dom but I think we should stay with Tanya.”
Tanya’s voice spoke up hastily however it still sounded breathless.
“I’m fine. You guys go. I’ll stay here.”
“Tanya we aren’t leaving you.” I found myself saying to her. Her head still hanging low over the plate of food in front of her. Donny’s hand running up and down her back lightly.
“Yes you are. Sam you should go and see your sister. I think I’m just gonna go to sleep.” She pushed the food away from her and slowly got down from the stool.
--------------
Half an hour later or so Donny came down the stairs, his hair was still messy and he looked tired. Tanya probably kept him up all last night. I wonder if he even knew I almost drowned…
He wore a black leather jacket and a navy t shirt, which matched his eyes. Why would I notice that?
Quickly I looked away as though I was pre occupied by something else and he came to stand in front of me.
“Ready to go? Tanya is asleep.” He swung his car keys on his finger and I suddenly felt nervous. Being in a car with Donny. I know he would never hurt me again, but our past isn’t the best. It’s as though we were starting out fresh. Which made everything between us a whole lot more awkward.
“Yup. How far is it?”
“Only around half an hour.” He smiled at me and I saw his hand twitch by his side slightly as though he wanted to touch me. My eyes widened and I quickly opened the front door. A pain shot up my arm and I clenched my teeth trying not to show the hurt to him.
He stared at me and then quickly walked off. Moments later he was back with my sling and started to wrap it around my arm. Which he was doing an appalling job of.
I laughed when he accidentally tied my hair into the knot at the back and fumbled to try and undo it again.
“Just let me do it Donny.” I used my free hand to untie the knot and pulled my hair free. Moving it around to one side I gave Donny full view of my neck. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck lightly, unnerving me slightly. Closing my eyes I tried to focus on something else as his fingers brushed at the skin. I thought this was because he was tying the knot, but when he spoke I realised it was something else.
“How did you get that scar?” Scar? I never even knew there was a scar on my neck.
“What scar?” His finger ran along my neck slowly in a line and I quickly turned around to face him. We were becoming too close. I didn’t want that to happen.
His hand fell from where it had been and he looked rigid and frozen.
“I did that didn’t I?” These words left his lips sternly yet with dismay. My head fell and looked at the floor.
“You didn’t…Chris did when he made you do those things to m-“ I felt his arms wrap around me tightly and I could feel him tightening his hold on me. My body didn’t know how to react from this sudden movement. Standing completely still as he held me to him.
“Donny?” He didn’t respond he just kept me to him.
“Sammi. Please forgive me for everything I’ve done.” His voice shook and the words came out slightly muffled due to his head being buried in the crook of my neck. “I know you hate me. And probably will forever. The things I said, the things I did. I wish I could take back I wish-“
“Stop.” I managed to become free from his hold and he looked at me. His eyes showed nothing but guilt for all the things he had done. “I don’t want to be reminded about it Donny. I don’t hate you. But-but I don’t know what to think of you…that kiss…you were dying you didn’t mean it.”
He was about to speak and stepped closer to me but I turned around and opened the big front doors again. I was scared to hear what he was going to say. I don’t know if I would ever want to.
------------
We made our way to the foster home where my sister and Donny’s brother were. His eyes were completely focused on the road as he drove. Not even glancing at me. This for some reason bothered me, but I was strangely thankful for it. How I wish Harry hadn’t gone this morning.
Finally after a silent journey except for him asking me to change the radio station a couple times we made it to the foster home. It was a big house, almost looking as though it was a normal home. A sign was on the drive way. Each letter a different colour and a smiley face painted messily underneath it reading:
“Foster home for children. You look better with a smile.”
I cringed at the words and made my way to the front door with Donny. My eyes noticed a small park to the side of the house. Everything was rainbow painted and was currently occupied by two children and a care worker. She smiled at me and I made my way into the house. The smile stuck in my mind. I couldn’t help but feel she was apologising for the reason I was here.
“When people smile at you, are they friendly? Or do they pity the existence we have to go through?” I barely whispered to Donny as I walked quietly behind him and I saw him looking at my strangely.
“You are mad Sammi.” He laughed and we walked up towards a desk in the middle of a big room. Plastic chairs were all around the edge, implying they were for the size of 10 year olds. The room smelled like a play area and too clean to be comfortable.
“Ah Donny how are you today?” The woman at the counter beamed at him and pushed her small glassed up to the bridge of her nose.
“Good thanks Harriet.”
“Dom is just in the dvd room, you can go through if you like. You must be Samantha. You and your sister look exactly the same except she has-“
“Green eyes and I have brown.” I said back and she smiled towards my nervous look.
“Well she hasn’t stopped talking about you since she heard of you. Keeps asking me to get you to braid her hair. Such a beautiful girl she is.”
I saw Donny’s eyes land onto mine and my cheeks heated up with embarrassment. Nodding to her she clapped her hands together and led us through to the play room.
Around 20 kids were in different parts of the huge hall. A slide and play area was in the corner, along with a ball pit. A painting part of the room was covered with blue paint as small boy ran around slapping his blue dipped hands over every object he could find. I saw a care worker trying her hardest and I couldn’t stop myself from giggling when he ran his blue hand down her face.
“Heath is so naughty. Although he is definitely up there with the cutest.” Harriet’s ponytail swung back and forth as she ushered us down the hall and into a room at the end. When we entered the room was dark and bean bags were all over the place.
Only two small shapes could be seen in the darkness due to the light from the screen. We walked over quietly not wanting to distract them from their movie. I felt Donny’s hands brush my waist and I jumped back into him.
“Sorry-“ I whispered, thank god it was dark and he couldn’t see how flushed I was looking. He probably didn’t even intend to touch me and I still made a big deal out of it.
Finally we were close enough to hear what they were saying.
“No I want to watch Repunzal!” Bell’s voice rang through my ears and my heart became slightly jittery from the sound of her beautiful delicate voice.
“We watched that yesterday! It’s Tarzan today!” Dom’s voice said and I saw Donny smile in the corner of my eye. I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him directly. He looked back at me but quickly looked away for some reason and my eyes moved over to Bell and Dom.
They were sat in two beanbags as closely pushed together as possible, and their small hands were holding the others. Whilst they argued over what film to watch and how many gummy worms they could fit in their mouths.
“SISSY! Look Dom it’s sammmmmi!” Bell looked at me and I felt her arms wrap around the top of my legs. She was small just like me. And I couldn’t stop a few tears leaking from my eyes.
My little sister.
Was here.
----------------------

Notes

Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter out soon.

KIK ---> @Katieespoon

Love talking to all you guys :)

Katie x