The Ending.

I had been walking around the shopping centre for what felt like hours now. Yes I should’ve gone after Harry but I couldn’t bring myself to. My mind kept telling me he wanted to be alone that’s why he went.

I’d messed up again. Harry was one of the only people who I could actually talk to right now and not have to put up my walls. But yet I still did it anyway and in fact Harry is the only person I can do that with.

Looking through the glass windows at the edge of the shopping centre I could see that the sky was getting darker, the blues fading into an orange and purple, soon the stars would be watching down upon me. I knew I should’ve been making my way back to Harry’s apartment but I didn’t want to.

If Harry had left me I wanted to show him that I can be fine by myself. I was doing okay before him and I will still be alright now.

“Sorry miss we are almost about to close.” A shop assistant smiled down at me sat on one the chairs by the drinks stand. “If there is anyone you would like to call we can have them pick you up if you want?” She really did look empathetic towards my bruised and black outfit.

“Don’t worry I was about to go anyway.” I smiled back at her and stood up off of the squishy arm chair. When I made my way over to the big glass door, I pushed it open like anyone would. But the problem was it was locked.

Turning around I tried to locate the shop assistant but she was also gone.

“Damn it Samantha.” I muttered to myself before kicking the door to see if I was just imaging it being locked. When I did it simply made a noise when coming into contact with my foot. That was it. It didn’t budge or move at all.

Frantically I looked around again for her but still there was no sign. Had I imagined talking to her? I was about to get out my phone too see what time it was but I realised once I fiddled with the inside of my pockets.

I didn’t have one.

Never did.

“Well this is going to be a fun night.”

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Harry’s POV

“Sam look I’m sorry about walking off like that. I don’t know what happened I jus-“ My mind had suddenly realised how quiet my apartment was. There was no beautiful blonde haired girl sat on a barstool eating all my cereal.

When I looked into the room it hadn’t change since this morning when we had left it. Didn’t she come back to the apartment afterwards? She had told me she would always come back. I’ll just wait for her. I thought to myself. I’m sure she’s fine.

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Samanthas POV

“God dammit these doors wont open! Hello! SHOP ASSISTANT WOMAN!” I tried calling out over and over again but the centre was completely empty. I felt like the only living thing left on the planet. If only I had a phone.

Looking around I saw that all the shops had gates down on the entrance. If I only they didn’t, then I could sneak through a window or something.

That’s when it hit me.

The toilets.

Quickly I glanced around for a sign that would signal the direction of the toilets. The escalators were switched off and so were all the lights, so it was harder to see one than normal. The only small bit of light I still had was from the sun which had almost completely finished setting.

My thoughts drifted over to Harry. Imagining him lying in bed, waiting for me. Or maybe he was still out, avoiding me as much as possible. But knowing him he might also be freaking out if he went back to the apartment and I wasn’t there. Probably thought I was getting into trouble with guys like normal.

Noticing the big sign in the side of the floor I read that the toilets were straight down the line of shops to my right. Making my way down there I noticed a body moving. I could feel my heart beating slightly fast but I knew I had no time to worry.

For some reason my mind kept telling me it was Donny. I was just scaring myself with this thought though. Donny was locked away, he couldn’t get me here.

As I kept making my way down the row of shops and past the big green trees in the middle I noticed the huge sign for the toilets. Praying that they weren’t locked off I made my way towards them. Still hauling around the bags of clothes Tanya had bought me. If she hadn’t of paid for them I would’ve left them there ages ago. I not really fashionable anyway and with all these clothes I doubt I’ll know how to dress well in them.

Sighing with relief when the door opened I slipped through and placed the bags on the floor, looking around the big toilet area for a window of some sort.

My eyes lifted to see quite a big one at the very end of the line of cubicles.

Bingo.

Hauling my bag down the row of toilets I placed it at the bottom of the window. I looked down to see how big the drop was but luckily we were still on the ground floor. As I was about to push the window open a shadow fell into darkness behind me.

I screamed when a hand was placed on my shoulder.

“Get away Donny get away!” I shrieked squeezing my eyes shut tightly as I fell defenceless against the wall.

“Miss I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you-“ Slowly my eyes opened to the sound of an old mans voice. Looking up I saw a man with silvery long hair with a mop and brush. Wearing what seemed to be a janitors outfit.

“Oh thank god.” My hand was on my chest trying to regain my heart rate to normal speed.

“May I ask what you are doing here so late?”

“Got locked in.” I smiled weakly to his dangling keys at his hand.

We made our way out of the toilets and to the front of the shopping centre where I was gracefully let out of the building. A much nicer way to get out then to fall from a low window.

“Thank you so much I mean it.”

“It’s my pleasure sweetheart.” He smiled at me and I nodded my head in return.

Right now time to get shouted at by Harry.

Harry’s POV

I tapped my foot up and down on the floor whilst glancing now and again at the clock. It was almost 11. My head started pounding, every nerve telling me to walk out that door and find her but I knew I was just over reacting.

Anyway it’s Sam. She used to be out on the streets this late every night.

The sound of footsteps outside my apartment door made me jump up and before I knew it I was pulling the door open.

She stood there, soaking wet and smiled adorably in my direction.

“It’s a little wet outside.” Moving out the way I let her into the main room.

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Samanthas POV

Placing my bags of clothes down on the sofa I shrugged off my wet leather jacket and shook my head. Trying to get the water out of my hair as much as possible.

“I probably smell of rain water and dirt, take a whiff, do I?” I looked at him, he was stood shirtless, a pair of grey joggers hung low on his hips, v lines showing. I wanted to kiss him right then and there. But I put the thought out of my head. His arms were crossed and he still looked angry.

“Where the heck were you?!”

“Why are you shouting at me?” I questioned at his over protectiveness.

“Because I worry about you Sam!” Falling silent I fell back on the sofa and watched him walk in front of me.

“If you worry then why did you go…” I trailed off, saying it so quietly only my ears could hear.

He took a big sigh before he carried on talking.

“Where were you?” He spoke sternly towards me.

“If you must know they locked me in the shopping centre. Janitor got me out after I almost jumped through a window.” He looked at me horrified.

“Don’t you dare jump through a window.”

“You can’t tell me what to do Harry, you don’t own me.” I said stubbornly trying to get him to retaliate and let me have a shower.

“At least I don’t lie about us.” Looking up to meet his gaze he still held the same fixed expression of anger.

“So what I said we had sex and?” Before I knew it his lips crashed down onto mine, his strong hands cupping my face gently as he slid his tongue into my hot mouth. I felt my hands run into his brown curls and my body lift up off of the sofa for more. Suddenly I realised where his hands were going, they fumbled at the button on my jeans and then he slid one into my panties quickly.

“Har-“ I tried to say his name but his constant kissing stopped my from barely even breathing. His mouth moving quick with mine, soaking up the ecstasy of my thoughts. A tingle sensed through my body when I felt his finger run over my clit ever so slightly. I suddenly felt scared. Scared of what was about to happen. Harry didn’t think I was a virgin. He thought I had done this before.

My shaking hands pushed at his shoulders hard and he fell back onto the floor slightly. Staring at me with bewilderment. I couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t see me like this. Vulnerable.

Sooner or later my walls would completely drop from him and then what would happen? I would lose myself.

“Sam I’m sorry but I…” He was having trouble finding words whilst I was sat there motionless, my eyes unblinking. Staring straight at the same fixed position away from him.

“Sam look at me.” He pleaded, his hands resting on my legs as he knelt in front of me. Unfortunately for my small height he was still looking down on me. “Donny use to do this to you didn’t he?” His hand ran up and down my thigh softly as his gaze never left my turned away one. “Sam I promise I won’t hurt you like he did.”

“Do you want…” I still couldn’t look at him when I spoke. “to have sex with me…” My hands started shaking and I felt his grasp mine gently.

“I want to show you how much I love you Sam. Making love to you-“ I pushed him away and stood up.

“No. No you don’t love me. No one loves me.”

“Sam please calm down.” He stood up and held onto my shoulders. But I felt myself pushing him further away. The feeling was creeping up my spine into my thoughts, my memories. The night I tried to die. Creeping it’s way to me. I felt like it again. Like I needed to die.

“I don’t deserve you.” I choked out. “But you need to know that you don’t love me.”

“How do you know if I love you or not.”

“Because you just can’t. I’m me. I’m that girl who tries to kill herself. I’m that girl that people ignore and are supposed to watch slowly fade away because she did nothing for herself! I don’t deserve you to even like me Harry! You aren’t real and you don’t love me!” My breathing was rapid and I glanced over at him. He was staring straight at me.

“I want to do something to help you Sam. But every time I try you just keep pushing me away. Putting these walls up…” I let out a small sob and quickly wiped my eyes with my sleeve. “I won’t touch you again Samantha. But you should shower and get some rest. You have work tomorrow. I’m sorry for wanting you...loving you.”

“But you don’t.” I said straight at him. His eyes flared with hatred towards what I had just said.

I saw him grabbing a beer bottle that he had been drinking and he smashed it in the counter. Cutting his hand and palm as he did.

I stood still, tears clouding my eyes as I watched the guy I was falling for believe that I hated him. I didn’t mean to say what I did. But none of this seems real. None of this is real.

My eyes drooped closed and my knees starting wobbling. The ground felt like it was falling from under me, my feet dangling in the air, my hands holding on for the last scrap of life I could ever say I loved.

Harry.

And that’s when everything went dark, as I fell to the floor and fainted.

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Notes