For Your Eyes Only

Knocking on to Harry’s door it wasn’t long until he answered, just in his boxers he stepped out in front of his door. I saw the girl in his room and I matched the smile in his eyes. He didn’t love me at least not now.

“Olivia you ok”

“I just need to ask you something I’m sorry for interrupting”

“It’s ok what’s up”

“When you left did you miss me, did you say you still loved me”

“I… How do you know”

“Niall over heard you, he saying its part of the factor why he cheated. I’m not blaming you or anything I just need to know, are you still in love with me?”

“I’m not, I still care about you a hell of a lot but love I’m not sure on that Olivia”

“Ok good”

“Why did you need to know”

“Just so if I was going to try again with Niall not saying I am but if I was, I needed to know you would be ok with it and wont be unhappy I don’t want to make you unhappy Harry”

“You could never make me unhappy Olivia”

“Ok I will let you get back Harry night”

“Night sweetie”

Walking back to my room Niall jumped back up right looking at me straight away. I could see he had been crying, kicking my shoes off I walked towards him and took my place back on the bed.

“Sorry for walking out I just needed to know something”

“Ok…”

“Were you actually terrified?”

“Completely”

“You should have told me, spoken to me about this as soon as you were starting to feel this”

“That’s what Jade said”

“She is very wise”

“She is…”

“`I’m just going to get changed this dress is starting to annoy me”

“Ok I can go if you want”

“No… I mean we still need to talk just wait there”

“You can change in front of me you know it’s not like I haven’t seen it all before”

“I know but.”

“I remember the first time I saw your body, you were swimming in your pool and I came down, I just had to see you up close. You gave me a full viewing and even allowed me to touch you”

“I did, but I’m different now”

“You are still beautiful though Livy”

“No I’m not”

With that I walked in to the bathroom with my joggers and a tank top. Normally I would wear shorts but they would show of my cuts and no one not even Jade knew about them. I stopped the drugs and went to cutting to deal with my emotions. If it wasn’t for Niall being in the room I would be at my legs right now. Just as I stripped down the door swung open, turning around I saw Niall there about to say something all I could do was cover my legs as quickly as I could.
“What the fuck Niall get out”

“No come on Livy I’m helping you get your confidence back you never shied away with your body”

“Maybe now I want to, you know I don’t want everyone to see”

“It’s just me, only my eyes will be seeing”

“Niall please get out you don’t want to see me”

I knew he was stepping closer I tried to move back but I only ended up against the wall. Starting to shake I was feeling panicky Niall noticed and back off slightly.

“What have I done to you…”

“Niall…”

“No look your terrified I’m not going to hurt you, I would never lay a finger on you like that”

“I know, this isn’t your fault it’s Aarons”

“No it’s mine to… I was the only one you could get close to after and now I cant get near you without you shaking… that’s what I have done…”

“Niall just let me get changed please”

“I will be on the bed”

I thought he was leaving but as the joggers dropped slightly he saw, I knew he saw. I quickly turned and faced the wall pulling the joggers on quickly and then the top. Turning around he was still there fresh tears building up.

“I made you cut…”

“Niall lets sit…”

“I can’t believe it I made you want to cut yourself… no wonder why you wont forgive me… Livy…I’m so sorry…”

“It’s done Niall… I’m fine now”

“Why did you… how did it start”

“Can we sit down please”

“Of course”

Moving to my bed I jumped under the duvet one side and signalled Niall to join me on the other side.

“I stopped the drugs and found a new replacement, when it all ended with you I went crazy with drugs. I realised I needed something that wasn’t noticeable to Dad and Jade so I cut… then I got upset because of the scars and so I carried on because it was how I was dealing with the pain”

“Why didn’t you write a song…”

“I.. I couldn’t bring my self to do it… I wanted people to think I was ok writing a song would of brought the same amount of attention as taking drugs”

“Does Jade know”

“No only you…”

“I am so sorry Livy for everything”

“Did you really think I was your soul mate”

“I still do… I feel like you are the only one for me Livy..”

“Hmm… Can I ask you something”

“Of course”

“Can you stay with me tonight”

“Yes…Of course I will”

“Thank you”

Turning off the lights signalling I wanted to go to bed now, I got comfy in the sheets and I felt Niall do the same. After a few moments I turned to face Niall to see him looking right back at me. With a little smile appearing on his face I couldn’t resist moving closer to him.

“One more question?”

“Yes Livy”

“Can I still take you to my favourite place in the world…just you and me…”

“You just tell me when and we will go that very day”

He brought his hand up and moved a piece of hair out my eye and cupped my face moving it slightly to look up at him more.

“You promise”

“I promise Livy…I will do anything for you…you are all I care about”

“Niall… please don’t hurt me again”

“I won’t I promise… does this mean…”

“No…not yet… when I say to go on holiday…that will be when I’m ready to fully let you back in… but you have to do two things”

“Anything…”

“And this may be a challenge for you”

“Ha-ha I can see where this is going”

“Good… so no sleeping around and keep in contact with me”

“I promise… I’m not going to mess this up Livy”

“Good… because I really don’t want you to”

“I won’t”

I moved in closer just being this close to him sent my stomach in to doing a thousands flips per second. Nothing was being said and he didn’t move at all, I knew why as well he didn’t want to make a move and mess things up. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to or not but everything about him was drawing me in. I moved in closer and soon placed my lips lightly on to his, he kissed me back lightly and it was like electricity sparked between us. Pulling away I looked in to his eyes seeing happiness fill them.

“Whoa, Livy I have really missed you”

“I’ve missed you to Niall, goodnight”

“Goodnight”

“Niall..”

“Yes..”

“Can I cuddle up to you”

“Of course… come here”

Moving in to his arms properly I feel asleep so quickly it was going to be hard leaving him tomorrow. It’s also going to be hard to decided if I should let him back in or not. Its clear that I still love him…I’m just so scared, god this is such a head fuck.

Notes