Songs of Lust
Like Real People Do
Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We all decided to go hiking since it was a perfect day to do so. Niall took lead, claiming he was a hiking master and Lily following him. Billy and his boyfriend, Simon were a couple feet a head of Harry and I, out of earshot.
“How’s your mum doing?” Harry asks after a few beats of silence.
“She’s alright. Her and my dad are taking a weekend getaway to London.” He gives me a quizzical look. “They like pretending they’re tourists.” He chuckles. “How’s your mum doing?”
“She’s okay. She’s taking day by day.”
“My heart aches for her. I could never imagine what she must be going through.” I reach down and entwine our fingers together. He looks at me and smiles. “And you too. I know how much Robin meant to you.”
“Thanks, Lenny.” He gives my hand a squeeze but doesn’t let it go.
We all stop, Lily yelling at Niall because, like we all predicted, we are lost. “I told you not to listen to fucking GPS, Niall. Now we’re lost.” Lily waves her hands in the air and moves past him and makes her way down to me. “Bloody told him not to and now look at us.” She huffs.
“It’s okay, Lil. We’ll find our way.” She adjusts her straps for her backpack and starts to make her way down the hill.
“Lily,” Niall jogs down past us to get to his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, babe.” Harry chuckles and shakes his head.
“Those two could never stay mad at one another. They are so head over heals for one another.” Harry states. I smile and turn to see Billy smirking at Harry and I. I remember that my hand is still in Harry’s and I quickly pull my hand away. He frowns then realized that Billy was watching us; sighing, he starts to walk ahead of me and slightly shakes his head.
Lily leads our way to cabin, ignoring Niall the whole way back. Harry doesn’t walk next to me and I am behind everyone, alone. I get to my room and kick off my shoes and drop my bag on the chair in the corner. There is a faint knock at my door that I almost didn’t catch it. “Come in.” I turn and Harry walks in. “Hey.” I move a strand of hair away from my face and behind my ear.
“Hey, Len.” He stand awkwardly at the door with his hands stuffed in his jeans. “I want to see how you're holding up in your room?”
“I’m good. It’s cozy in here, very spacious.”
“Good.” There has never been such an awkward tension between us but here we are, standing five feet away from each other, shifting from one foot to the other.
“Harry, I want to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean to push you away like that.”
“I understand. You don’t want people to see us together.” The look in his eyes looked almost hurt but his words seems so closed off.
“It’s not like that. I just-“ I sigh and ruffle my hair back. “I like what we have. I have fun with you. I just don’t think that we should exploit it to everyone. It should be between you and I.”
“I get it, Len. Don’t need to explain.” I turns to leave the room but I stop him before he can close off on me completely.
“Please don’t go.” I move forward and wrap my fingers around his wrist. “Stay with me for a bit.” He looks back at me and smiles. The hand that was going to reach for the door knob, touches my cheek. His thumb moves under my eye. He places his lips on mine and kisses me gently, vastly different from when we kissed last night.
We stay in my room for the rest of the afternoon and talk about everything. He lays down and I lay my head on his chest, cuddled to his side. It feels like we are back at home. It’s silent and just the two of us. It is my most peaceful and comfortable position that I am ever in. It’s also my most favorite position.
“Did Niall and Lily make up yet?”
“Oh yeah. I’m pretty sure they had some intense make-up sex when we came back.” I snort out a laugh. I felt his chest vibrate underneath me.
“Ew, I don’t want that sight in my head.”
“It’s kinda hot.” I slap his chest and he starts laughing harder. “It’s not as hot as you though.”
“You’re not making this better.” I look up at him and frown.
“I’m kidding, love. Well half kidding.” I get up to move off of him. “I meant about you being hot. I wasn’t kidding about that.” He pulls me on top of him. “You are very hot. In fact, you are sexy.” His hand tangles in my hair and pulls me down to kiss me. His hand moves under my top and up my back. I thought last night he made me feel good, but somehow, this was better this time.
Later that night, we all sit around the camp fire while Niall plays guitar and Lily is wrapped around him like a Koala. Harry and I sit next to each other. I am wearing one of his Rolling Stones t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants that a rolled at the top, being that they are too big on me. Harry moves his hand closer to me, placing his hand on mine. It so subtle and unnoticeable, I wouldn’t even catch it if it wasn’t for the warm feeling I usually get when he touches me. I move closer to him and lean my head on his shoulder. He looks down at me in surprise but kisses my forehead. Harry starts humming to the song Niall starts playing, intertwining our hand together and bringing them up to his mouth, kissing the back of my hand. The gesture makes me blush.
“Well I’m gonna go in. I am completely exhausted.” Billy stands up and yawns. Simon follows him inside along with Niall and Lily. Lily winks at me before going in. Harry and I are left alone.
Harry leans in to kiss me. “Harry no. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? No one is here, Len.”
“People could still be watching.” He sighs and tugs his hair back.
“You know Eleanor, I’m kinda getting sick of this fucking game we are always playing.”
“What do you mean?” I am taken aback by his tone and he hasn’t called me Eleanor since we’ve met; that was two years ago.
“You know exactly what I mean. One moment we are kissing and holding hands and the next, you don’t want any part of me.”
“I told you how I feel about us.”
“Yeah, Lenny, you have. But have you asked me about my feelings? Because I hate the fact that I can’t fucking hold your hand without you pulling away from me. When are you going to realize that I don’t just want to be your fuck mate?”
“You mean more to me than just that Harry and you know it.”
“It sure as fuck doesn’t feel like it.”
“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to pull you closer and kiss you in front of everyone?”
“Yes!”
“I don’t feel comfortable doing that!”
“Then I guess I don’t feel comfortable just being someone you use just for fun.”
“Harry-“
“I’m going inside. I see you tomorrow.”
“Harry.” I say sternly this time but he doesn’t turn around, just continues his way inside. I slowly start to follow him inside and make my way to my room.
The next day, we all leave to go home. I look back at the cabin as Niall drives further and further away from it. Harry sits next to me like the last time but makes no move to get any closer than he usually does. The drive feels longer than it did before and after what feels like hours, Lily and I are dropped off at our apartment. She pulls me to her side and hugs me. “Everything will be alright, El. I promise.” She kisses my forehead
We should just kiss like real people do
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We all decided to go hiking since it was a perfect day to do so. Niall took lead, claiming he was a hiking master and Lily following him. Billy and his boyfriend, Simon were a couple feet a head of Harry and I, out of earshot.
“How’s your mum doing?” Harry asks after a few beats of silence.
“She’s alright. Her and my dad are taking a weekend getaway to London.” He gives me a quizzical look. “They like pretending they’re tourists.” He chuckles. “How’s your mum doing?”
“She’s okay. She’s taking day by day.”
“My heart aches for her. I could never imagine what she must be going through.” I reach down and entwine our fingers together. He looks at me and smiles. “And you too. I know how much Robin meant to you.”
“Thanks, Lenny.” He gives my hand a squeeze but doesn’t let it go.
We all stop, Lily yelling at Niall because, like we all predicted, we are lost. “I told you not to listen to fucking GPS, Niall. Now we’re lost.” Lily waves her hands in the air and moves past him and makes her way down to me. “Bloody told him not to and now look at us.” She huffs.
“It’s okay, Lil. We’ll find our way.” She adjusts her straps for her backpack and starts to make her way down the hill.
“Lily,” Niall jogs down past us to get to his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, babe.” Harry chuckles and shakes his head.
“Those two could never stay mad at one another. They are so head over heals for one another.” Harry states. I smile and turn to see Billy smirking at Harry and I. I remember that my hand is still in Harry’s and I quickly pull my hand away. He frowns then realized that Billy was watching us; sighing, he starts to walk ahead of me and slightly shakes his head.
Lily leads our way to cabin, ignoring Niall the whole way back. Harry doesn’t walk next to me and I am behind everyone, alone. I get to my room and kick off my shoes and drop my bag on the chair in the corner. There is a faint knock at my door that I almost didn’t catch it. “Come in.” I turn and Harry walks in. “Hey.” I move a strand of hair away from my face and behind my ear.
“Hey, Len.” He stand awkwardly at the door with his hands stuffed in his jeans. “I want to see how you're holding up in your room?”
“I’m good. It’s cozy in here, very spacious.”
“Good.” There has never been such an awkward tension between us but here we are, standing five feet away from each other, shifting from one foot to the other.
“Harry, I want to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean to push you away like that.”
“I understand. You don’t want people to see us together.” The look in his eyes looked almost hurt but his words seems so closed off.
“It’s not like that. I just-“ I sigh and ruffle my hair back. “I like what we have. I have fun with you. I just don’t think that we should exploit it to everyone. It should be between you and I.”
“I get it, Len. Don’t need to explain.” I turns to leave the room but I stop him before he can close off on me completely.
“Please don’t go.” I move forward and wrap my fingers around his wrist. “Stay with me for a bit.” He looks back at me and smiles. The hand that was going to reach for the door knob, touches my cheek. His thumb moves under my eye. He places his lips on mine and kisses me gently, vastly different from when we kissed last night.
We stay in my room for the rest of the afternoon and talk about everything. He lays down and I lay my head on his chest, cuddled to his side. It feels like we are back at home. It’s silent and just the two of us. It is my most peaceful and comfortable position that I am ever in. It’s also my most favorite position.
“Did Niall and Lily make up yet?”
“Oh yeah. I’m pretty sure they had some intense make-up sex when we came back.” I snort out a laugh. I felt his chest vibrate underneath me.
“Ew, I don’t want that sight in my head.”
“It’s kinda hot.” I slap his chest and he starts laughing harder. “It’s not as hot as you though.”
“You’re not making this better.” I look up at him and frown.
“I’m kidding, love. Well half kidding.” I get up to move off of him. “I meant about you being hot. I wasn’t kidding about that.” He pulls me on top of him. “You are very hot. In fact, you are sexy.” His hand tangles in my hair and pulls me down to kiss me. His hand moves under my top and up my back. I thought last night he made me feel good, but somehow, this was better this time.
Later that night, we all sit around the camp fire while Niall plays guitar and Lily is wrapped around him like a Koala. Harry and I sit next to each other. I am wearing one of his Rolling Stones t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants that a rolled at the top, being that they are too big on me. Harry moves his hand closer to me, placing his hand on mine. It so subtle and unnoticeable, I wouldn’t even catch it if it wasn’t for the warm feeling I usually get when he touches me. I move closer to him and lean my head on his shoulder. He looks down at me in surprise but kisses my forehead. Harry starts humming to the song Niall starts playing, intertwining our hand together and bringing them up to his mouth, kissing the back of my hand. The gesture makes me blush.
“Well I’m gonna go in. I am completely exhausted.” Billy stands up and yawns. Simon follows him inside along with Niall and Lily. Lily winks at me before going in. Harry and I are left alone.
Harry leans in to kiss me. “Harry no. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? No one is here, Len.”
“People could still be watching.” He sighs and tugs his hair back.
“You know Eleanor, I’m kinda getting sick of this fucking game we are always playing.”
“What do you mean?” I am taken aback by his tone and he hasn’t called me Eleanor since we’ve met; that was two years ago.
“You know exactly what I mean. One moment we are kissing and holding hands and the next, you don’t want any part of me.”
“I told you how I feel about us.”
“Yeah, Lenny, you have. But have you asked me about my feelings? Because I hate the fact that I can’t fucking hold your hand without you pulling away from me. When are you going to realize that I don’t just want to be your fuck mate?”
“You mean more to me than just that Harry and you know it.”
“It sure as fuck doesn’t feel like it.”
“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to pull you closer and kiss you in front of everyone?”
“Yes!”
“I don’t feel comfortable doing that!”
“Then I guess I don’t feel comfortable just being someone you use just for fun.”
“Harry-“
“I’m going inside. I see you tomorrow.”
“Harry.” I say sternly this time but he doesn’t turn around, just continues his way inside. I slowly start to follow him inside and make my way to my room.
The next day, we all leave to go home. I look back at the cabin as Niall drives further and further away from it. Harry sits next to me like the last time but makes no move to get any closer than he usually does. The drive feels longer than it did before and after what feels like hours, Lily and I are dropped off at our apartment. She pulls me to her side and hugs me. “Everything will be alright, El. I promise.” She kisses my forehead
