Chapter thirty-three

A week had passed, yet again. Despite being constantly around the lads, I felt there was distance brewing. There was distance between Harry and I. No matter how close I tried to be to him, I felt myself coming second more and more. I knew they were busy and I definitely didn’t want to ruin their tour, but there was a small part of me – albeit loud – that felt sorry for myself; that felt neglected. I found myself longing for home, for my parents, for my schoolwork to distract me from my problems; problems that weren’t going away. But with the growing coolness between Harry and I, there had been no opportunity to tell him what was on my mind. I missed him. Everyday, he was right in front of me, hugging me close to him before he ran on stage, and still I missed him. More and more frequently, I found myself face timing with my mom.

“Hi sweetie!” I smiled as her face appeared on my screen.

“Hey mum,” I beamed. I saw her eyes take in my face and watched as the corners of her mouth turned down.

“What’s wrong?” She asked me. I smiled lightly; she knew me so well, even through a screen and a physical distance of God knows how many miles, she could tell when I didn’t feel like myself.

“I guess I’m just homesick,” I said with a sigh and her lips pouted.

“Awe, my sweet girl, you know I wouldn’t stop you from coming home; just for a little while,” she said, already pleading with me to return to the UK. In the beginning, it had been easier to refuse her, but now I found myself not wanting to. She saw my hesitation and pounced on it. “Just think about it; you could stay in your own room, have your own bed again, and not have to stay in all those dirty hotels or uncomfortable motor van mattresses and the weather over there must be simply horrible. Far too hot I should imagine. And you’d be able to have family dinners,” she smiled at me and I found myself smiling back, captivated by what she was saying, it all sounded so appealing at that present moment. Just then someone slumped on the couch beside me.

“Is that mummy Wilson?” Louis asked and I let him get in view of my phone.

“Hi there Louis!” My mother beamed at him. Over the course of our many facetimes, my mum had come to know all the boys, although next to Harry, she probably knew Louis the best.

“Hi Mrs. Wilson, you’re looking very well.”

My mum blushed delicately.

“Aren’t you a cheeky little one?” My mum giggled. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at her too. Just like that, I missed her again. I wanted to cuddle into her side like I had as a child more than anything in the world; it was an overwhelming sensation of nostalgia and longing. “Sarah, darling,” she said, breaking me from my reverie. “Show me the other boys!” I smiled and swivelled my phone around to where Harry and Niall were standing.

“Say ‘hi’ to my mum Harry,” I smiled at them. Each of them greeted her with a thumbs up, making funny faces. You could just see the people gathering in the audience, getting ready to witness another brilliant show.



“Good luck!” I heard my mum call out to them.

“Thanks Mrs. Wilson!” Niall smiled at her adorably.

“Love you, Mrs. Wilson,” Harry smiled, blowing her a kiss before I turned her back around to face me.

“Love you too, Harry,” she said, smiling. “Sarah,” she said to me. “I’ll talk to you later, go give each and every one of them a big hug from me.”

“Will do, mum,” I smiled at her.

“And hun,” she added. “Think about what I said?”

“Definitely, I’ll talk to you soon. I love you!”

“Love you too, baby!” And with that, she was gone. I slid my phone into my back pocket.


Outing by authorsdescriptions featuring blue skinny jeans

“Everyone get over here,” I called out. The lads all looked at me like I’d gone crazy. “Come on, bring it in for a nice, big, pre-show, group hug from mummy Wilson,” I laughed. Just like that I had five large, adolescent men on me. I pulled them all closer, my love for them infinite.

--

The shows all began to drag for me, in the beginning, they’d gone by in a flash, but now Lou and I sat in the back talking for what felt like hours. I still enjoyed them, don’t get me wrong, but I suppose they were just beginning to lose their novelty. This night in particular, the show felt long and by then end of it, I was positively exhausted. I went to wait for Harry in his dressing room, plumping my body down in one of the plush chairs. Harry soon came in, a ball of energy and excitement.

“Hey babe,” he greeted me, whipping off his shirt to change it for a fresh one.

“Hi,” I said back weakly. “Good show?”

“Great. You weren’t watching?” He asked me, puzzled.

“Bits of it,” I responded, even though I hadn’t in truth seen all that much.

“Well, hurry up, throw some clothes on, love,” he said, disconnecting his earpiece and putting it down on the table.

“Why?” I asked in confusion. All I wanted was to go back to the bus and lay down for a while.

“We’re going out for dinner.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Well thanks for telling me,” I said, irritated now.

“I just did,” he joked, not catching on to my mood. “Come on, don’t want to keep everyone waiting.” He slung a leather jacket over his white t-shirt and picked up his phone.

“You know, you guys go ahead, I don’t feel like it tonight,” I told him.

He looked up from his phone.

“Babe, come on. You have to eat something.”

I shook my head.

“No, I’m not that hungry, I can just find something on the bus,” I persisted.

He looked at me with puppy eyes.

“Come on, love. Come, for me?”

I matched his gaze, even and un-breaking. I really didn’t want to go out and I equally didn’t want to be pestered like this. However, I decided that giving in to him would prove wiser than fighting.

“Fine,” I said, standing and throwing my phone in my bag. He slung his arm around my shoulders.

“You’re the best,” he kissed my temple before going down the hall to grab Niall.

“So you keep telling me,” I mumbled to myself, as he was already gone.

--

I walked outside and hailed a cab. The swarms of teenage girls had died down by now, so it was easily done.

“Hi, my boyfriend will be out in a second,” I told the cab driver as I texted Harry where I was.

“No problem, Miss.”

I watched as Lou and Tom climbed into a taxi and drove away and then my eyes began scouring for Harry. He hadn’t texted me back and I was getting frustrated. I was sitting in a cab – alone – waiting to go to a restaurant that I didn’t want to go to with a boyfriend who refused to text or call me. Just then, my phone began to ring and I answered it, in a huff, thinking it was Harry.

“Where the hell are you?” I answered, rather hostile. There was hesitation on the other end of the line.

“Sorry, um, Miss. Wilson?” A young sounding female voice greeted me.

“Oh,” I stumbled. “Hello.”

“Hi, I’m calling from Professor McAlister’s office,” she informed me. Why was my professor’s office calling me? I technically wasn’t even enrolled.

“Yes,” I acknowledged her.

“We would just like to inform you that we have decided to run your program starting second semester instead of this coming fall.”

“Really?” I asked, utterly surprised.

“Yes,” I heard her laugh at me. “So, if you’re interested, would you like me to sign you up for that session?”

I thought for a moment, peering around the cab, once more, searching for any sign of Harry.

“When would classes begin?” I asked her.

“March,” she said.

I was momentarily taken aback.

“But that’s in two weeks,” I stuttered.

“Yes…” she agreed as if I were a simpleton.

“Oh, um, well,” I stammered like an imbecile. “When is the deadline for enrolment?”

“You have until February twenty-fifth,” she informed me.

“Okay, and can I just call this number to enrol, should I decide to?”

“Yes, that would be fine,” she replied. Just then the cabby looked back at me, clearly irritated for having to wait so long.

“Sorry,” I mouthed at him. “Okay, thank you,” I said to the woman. “I’ll get back to you as soon as possible then.”

“Alright, thank you for your time.” She said.

“Thanks!” I replied again before disconnecting the call. “I’m so sorry, he should be here, let me try calling him.” I said to the cab driver who sighed heavily. I rang Harry’s phone with no answer. However on the fifth ring, the cab door opened.

“Hey,” he greeted me, as I stared at him agape. “To the Sunset Villa Restaurant, please,” Harry said to the cab driver who simply grunted in response. “What?” He asked, turning to see my exasperated expression.

“’What’?” I repeated before laughing without a trace of humour and deliberately staring out my window, shaking my head at the nightlife around us.

--

When the cab pulled up to the restaurant, I got of it before it even fully came to a stop, leaving Harry to pay him. I made my way into the Sunset Villa and found that everyone was already there, sitting at a table. I went to go sit with them when an irritating young waiter blocked me.

“Excuse me Miss, but do you have a reservation?” He asked me, his bow tie slightly askew and beyond irritating at that moment.

“I’m with them,” I said, pointing to Lou, Liam, Niall, Louis and Zayn who all waved back.

“Oh,” he said, giving me a once over and clearly wondering why someone associated with One Direction was wearing a Little Mermaid crop top to a clearly upscale restaurant. “Then please,” he said, gesturing for me to join them. I gave him a sarcastic curtsey and sat down at the table beside Louis and an empty seat that was no doubt meant for Harry. The irritating waiter was back not thirty seconds later.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” He asked me as I noticed that everyone else already had drinks in front of them.

“Yes, you certainly can,” I said. “Anything with Vodka – lots of Vodka.”

He looked at me as though I had a problem, but wrote down my order. Harry then came in and sat down next to me.

“Hello Mr. Styles,” he greeted him – of course knowing who he was. “Can I get you a beverage?”

“Yeah, whatever wine you’re recommending,” Harry smiled up at him. Even in my present state, I had to admit that when Harry turned on the charm he was intoxicating.

“Very good, Sir,” he smiled. “So wine and a vodka, coming right up.”

Harry looked at me puzzled.

“Vodka?” He asked.

I shrugged as I took a sip of the lemon water that was already in front of me. I felt Louis nudge me.

“I can’t handle a vodka on top of my Long Island Iced Tea,” he whispered in my ear.

“Don’t worry, it’s not for you.” I responded. He gave me a reprimanding look and across from me, I saw that Lou, Liam, Niall and Zayn all wore very similar ones.

“Sarah,” Liam said.

Harry looked around the table.

“What’s with everyone tonight?” He asked and everyone – very conspicuously – looked down at their menus. “Sarah, what’s going on with you?” He asked when no one answered.

“Well you wouldn’t really know, would you?” I responded, picking up my menu dramatically as well.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He said, looking confused. I realized that he had no idea what was going on and I could tell that everyone was beginning to feel awkward so I decided to let it go.

“Nothing,” I conceded. “I just feel like I haven’t really seen you.”

He draped his arm around me.

“Don’t be silly, I’m always around.”

I decided that I was safer to just not reply. Soon, conversation picked up around the table about what looked good on the menu and my silence wasn’t as noticeable. I had a lot to consider, what with the prospect of going back to University in two weeks time looming in my mind. Harry talked with the lads, and I really hadn’t heard a word they said. Before I knew it, the waiter was placing my drink in front of me.

“Here you are,” he said.

Without acknowledging him I took a long, long, sip. Lou looked on in horror, but I ignored her. I went to take another gulp when Louis’ hand pushed the glass back to the table.

“Don’t make me say it,” he threatened.

“Say what?” Harry asked.

Louis slapped on a fake smile super quick.

“Just that she’s an awful drunk,” he laughed before quickly meeting my gaze and shooting a hard look.

Harry laughed, “I disagree, I think she’s a fun drunk.” He pulled me closer to him and I took a sip, despite Lou’s warnings, and raised my eyebrows at him.

“Not if you knew what we knew,” Liam said, utterly serious. Niall nudged him, as Harry looked confused.

“He just means that we’ve seen her hung over, and we know it’s not pretty,” Niall covered quickly, forcing a laugh.

“Yeah, that’s what he meant,” I said, giving Liam a look. I stood up. “Anyone know where the bathroom is in this place?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’ll show you,” Zayn said, standing up, walking around the table and placing his hand at the small of my back.

“Hurry back,” Harry smiled up at me, taking my hand and kissing it. I smiled at him before walking off with Zayn.

“What are you doing, love?” Zayn asked me when we were a safe distance away from the table.

“I’m relaxing,” I told him but he gave me a look. We were now standing in front of the bathrooms, but were hovering in front of them.

“You’re being difficult, you’re drinking when you know you shouldn’t be.” Zayn corrected.

“That’s not true. None of us know if I shouldn’t be drinking,” I joked, poking him in the chest.

“What’s wrong?” Zayn asked again. This time, I let my guard down a little.

“I’m not happy, Zayn.”

His face softened.

“Why not?”

“I just – I feel,” I couldn’t articulate the words. “It’s not like how it was!”

“Like what was?” He asked, trying to understand my madness.

“Like how we used to be. I used to feel like he understood what I was giving up to be with him. Now, now it feels like he just expects me to drop everything.”

“So it’s about Harry,” he said. “ And what makes you feel like that?” He asked, seeming genuinely confused.

“The way he drags me out when I want to stay in, the way he doesn’t dedicate even five minutes solely to me when I need him to, the fact that I have the chance to go back to University in two weeks and I’m scared he might not understand!” It felt so good to just let those frustrations that I’d been bottling up out.

“University? I thought they cancelled your program?” Zayn asked, seeming to be genuinely excited for me.

“I know, they just called me tonight saying that enrolment has picked up and they decided to run my program second semester.”

“That’s fantastic!” Zayn smiled.

“Is it though?”

“You mean will Harry think so,” Zayn smiled knowingly.

I nodded.

“And?” I asked him.

“And while it might make him sad as I’m sure he’ll miss you, what kind of boyfriend is he?”

“The amazing kind,” I smiled.

“Yes,” Zayn smiled, too. “So I’m sure he’ll be happy for you.”

I looked up at his face and was immediately feeling calmer. I hugged Zayn tight.

“Thanks, I needed to hear that.” I breathed into his chest.

“Anytime,” he said, rubbing my back, comforting me like an older brother or a life long friend. And while I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do, I felt better about talking it through with Harry. Although staying on tour no longer felt like an inconvenience. I broke away from his hug.

“Do you want me to wait here for you?” He asked me.

I shook my head.

“No, go ahead, I’ll meet you back at the table.” I smiled at him. He grinned my way before walking back the way we’d come while I headed into the ladies’ room. I selected a stall and sat down. Suddenly, I was crippled by pain. I couldn’t understand why it hurt so much, like there was a ripping sensation through my abdomen. There was burning, ripping, and aching all at once and it took me a moment to recuperate. Something was wrong, that wasn’t normal. I tried to brush it off; I exited the stall and focused on washing my hands. I then turned my attention on appearing normal; no one had to know what had just happened, I’d be fine.

Notes

Decisions, decisions. I'd love to get some of your opinions on what you think she should do: stay with Harry, or go back to Uni? And WOW! 104 subscribers is truly amazing. Knowing that that many people read my work and maybe possibly enjoy it makes me so, so, SO happy and helps me believe that I just might be an author one day, something I've aspired for my whole life, so thank you. Please continue to rate/comment/subscribe and I'll be back with a new chapter next Monday or, if this chapter gets five comments from different users I'll update within 24 hours :) xoxo