The Night I Met Harry

Winter:
"We need a break."

Harry:
"No. Forget it, not happening."

Winter:
"That wasn't me asking you Harry."

I'd said it softer than the words before it. I knew it'd be hard to grasp but I had myself to think about. I'd felt so cold and disconnected when I'd saw him with her and I'd never known myself to be this person before. I wanted to believe him... I really did, but only because I loved him. From then on I knew it'd be hard for me to say those three words to him again. It’d be hard to trust him.

I hung up the phone and removed its batteries. I lay back into my bed while breathing deeply. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been here alone. It was quiet accept the noise my thoughts caused. I try to remember the last time I'd felt this unsure of myself. In a way I'd just broken up with him, and for now I continued to tell myself I was okay with that. My eyes closed to only think of him more. This night would be a long one.

--

I pulled into the clinic's parking lot, putting the car in park as we sat for a minute.

Julia:
“How are you feeling?”


Winter:
"I'm fine, thanks."


I didn't know I'd miss our close contact as much until it'd stopped completely. I hadn't been able to kiss or touch him in days and I felt withdrawal. I sighed, putting distance between me and that conversation.

Winter:
"Let’s go."

--

My doctor had left the room briefly as Julia shifted in the chair across from me.

Julia:
"Your doctor’s hot."

I laughed, rolling my eyes in annoyance. She read the magazine while proceeding to repeat that statement every time he’d left the room. He’d entered again and we ceased our discussion immediately.

Dr. Horan:
"There was quite a bit of inflammation in your lungs, but everything else seems to be normal. Have you had any attacks recently that I should know about?"

I winced at the question. My memory was taking through that night along the dark hall. I felt the tears hug my face as I’d tried my best not to lose consciousnesses. My throat had become dry. I could still hear his voice demanding me to cooperate and the pain from the collision against the wall.

Dr. Horan:
"Winter..."

I began to blank quickly as I brought myself back, making eye contact and clearing my throat before answering the question.

Winter:
"Uh, yes actually...but I had my inhaler of course."

He thought about that briefly before continuing his questioning. He'd known the last I'd visited I'd gone quite a while without losing control.

Dr. Horan:
"You want to tell me what triggered that…"

Julia had been watching my every move. I didn't mind her here, really I didn't...but it was harder to answer the questions given to me about this subject when I still hadn’t told her.

Winter:
"I'd rather not."

He looked over to her who'd still sat quietly in the chair nearest the door before drawing his attention back to me.

Dr. Horan:
"Would you prefer privacy?"

Winter:
"It has nothing to do with her. I said I'd rather not."

He backed off the situation quickly changing the subject.

"Sorry, alright then. I'm going to instruct you to take it easy. Avoid anything that can potentially cause stress or mentally exhaust you. Make sure you're avoiding caffeine and drink water when you're feeling overexerted. And avoid steamy showers, it'll just make you lightheaded. Don't tire yourself in any forms for a while. If your inhaler is ever out of reach you know to boil some water. That's timely so it's a last resort. Is there anything else that's been bothering you as of recently?"

His words caught up to me as I thought of the few days I'd been feeling nauseous.

Winter:
"I felt kind of sick a few days ago, but there's nothing else I can think of."

Dr. Horan:
"What do you mean sick?

Winter:
"I felt dizzy and kind of nauseous."

Dr. Horan:
"And what time of the day would you say this occurred?"

Winter:
"Mornings, usually.”

Dr. Horan:
"I see… Have you been sexually active in the past 30 days or so?"

I would have laughed at the faces Julia had been making when hearing the question but tried to avoid being rude to the doctor.

Winter:
"Uh, yes."

Dr. Horan:
"Have you been taking the birth control I prescribed?"

Winter:
"Yes."

Dr. Horan:
"Do you use condoms?"

Winter:
"Um..."

There was painful moment of silence as I watched Julia continue in amusement.

Winter:
"Mostly, yes."

Dr. Horan:
"Mostly? I think we need to look into that just to be safe. I'm going to look at the samples of your blood tests we took and give you call with those results alright…I’ll see you next visit."

Winter:
"Sure, thanks."

He left the room quietly, as we began to laugh.

Julia:
"Remind me to always come to your appointments."

--

It'd been a few weeks since I'd last saw Harry and not a day went by that I didn't miss him. Our relationship would be on friendly terms now and I wanted to keep it that way for a while. I waited for Julia to return with the Chinese food we'd ordered while I sat on the passenger side of the car. It'd only been getting colder now, so the heat from the inside caused the windows to fog in contrast. I grabbed my bag in boredom, slipping my phone and its battery from the side pocket. I removed the back inserting the battery into its place before closing it back. It seemed like forever since I'd used it, choosing to use my house phone in case I wanted to talk to the girls. I powered it on and waited as I played with my hair in habit. It finally reached my home screen and the vibrations began as it caught me up on everything I'd missed.

35 missed calls
37 voicemails

How'd that even make sense.

18 texts


I assumed the calls had been from more than him. He'd stopped by my house a number of times which is why I tried my best to never stay home. Julia had just entered the car, rubbing her hands together to knock off the chill of the cold weather before putting the car in drive.

Winter:
"That took days."

Julia:
"We should have called first. My idea. Nobody listens to me."

It was true. I laughed to myself as thoughts of actually going through my phone began to surface.

Julia:
"Have you talked to him?"

Winter:
"Who?

Julia:
"I see your phone is on again."

Winter:
"Doesn't mean anything."

The smell of takeout filled the car with our conversation. I prayed silently that she'd changed the subject in fear she'd dampened my mood.

Julia:
"You should talk to him Winter. I can see its changing you to not be around him. You are friends right? Is that what you’re calling it?"

I sat quietly in disappointment that she hadn't taken the hint. I heard her sigh as we pulled up to a light. Her hand reached for mine in an effort to sooth my thoughts.

Julia:
"Talk to him Winter. That's me telling you."

I loved her but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that. I was uncertain that he even missed me anyway, though we'd never spent that much time apart.

Winter:
"Maybe in a few days."

This was something that I needed to mentally prepare myself for; visiting my friend, Harry.

--

Julia:
"Watch her just for tonight please. You know Abby hasn't had rest in like forever."

Winter:
"Then why can't you watch her? Look Julie, I love your sister but I'm not exactly in a state to be babysitting a newborn."

Her eyes began to plead before her arms wrapped around me.

Julia:
"I covered for you a lot when you Scott and Harry were in that love triangle. That was me, remember?"

I sighed deeply, feeling defeated for a moment.

Winter:
"Alright."

She grinned eternally.

Julia:
"Thanks, Winter."

I watched her open the car door and grab Allison's car seat from the back seat. We walked back up the house and she sat her by the sofa in the living room. She handed me her bag before referring to my facial expression.

Julia:
"Come on, you know she's adorable. And it'll help you keep your mind off things you know. I've been worried about you."

She gave me a hug before leaving.

Julia:
"You'll thank me. Oh, and Winter....feed her."

I wouldn't be surprised if that were the plan in the first place but I honestly didn't mind. She was right, I needed a mental break.

She was gone now, and the baby had already begun to cry. I ran to the kitchen to wash my hands thoroughly before sitting the bottle in warm water. I grabbed a thick blanket from the bag, throwing it over my shoulder and releasing her from the straps of the car seat. She really was adorable, and didn't seem to have grown one inch since I'd saw her last. I held her in my arms as she began to settle down, when I'd heard the doorbell ring. I cursed silently, as I wrapped her fully in the blankets. I'd unlocked the door quickly before the noise could bother her, and turned the knob. He stood there adorning me with his beautiful green eyes. I'd forgotten how attractive he was and the effect it had in me in our little time apart. His skinnies fit him perfectly and his peacock coat was appealing to his torso. His skin seemed to glow amazingly with the contrast of the dark of night behind him. His curls were everything as always and it was hard not to stare back at him in admiration. I continued my examine when the chill of the night's air ran across my skin and alerted me of the baby. I'd motioned him in and shut the door quickly. I could tell he was surprised I'd answered.

Harry:
"Hey."

I grabbed the bottle from the kitchen before walking slowly back to the living room, turning the heat up on the process there. I sat down, he across from me, and put the bottle to her lips. I hugged her closer as she drank, choosing then to look up at Harry.

Winter:
"Hey."

He waited in silence for me to explain the random baby that'd been here in my home. I smiled to myself at the mystery.

Winter:
"You know Julia right? This is her sister’s newborn. I'm babysitting."

He watched me in a weird way. Not unpleasant but I could tell he'd been reluctant to turn away.

Harry:
"Beautiful."

I wasn't sure if he were talking about me or the baby but I chose not to question it further.

Winter:
"So...what brings you by?"

Might as well start the conversation before he brought up something I'd rather not discuss.

Harry:
"That's a joke, right?"

Winter:
"If you're wondering if I'm okay, I'm fine."

Harry:
"....throw away your phone or something?"

Winter:
"Removed the battery."

I'd expected him to feel pissed at how I'd been taking his questioning but his tone didn't change.

Winter:
"Allison and I were just watching Hunger Games. There's popcorn in the kitchen."

He'd gotten up obediently, removing his coat, and disappearing into the kitchen. I sat back in the comfortable chair as she finished her bottle quietly. I wasn't going to over think this. For now I'd just go with it.

He appeared a short time later with a huge bowl of popcorn. He'd chosen to set beside me as we stationed in front of the large TV that lined my living room wall. We'd watched in silence for a while before he commented.

Harry:
"Sure this is appropriate for her?"

He was lightening the mood between us. It got me to smile, which was probably his intention. This part of him was something I'd missed.

Winter:
"She picked it."

He returned the favor briefly, his dimples brightening my mood toward him. She began to fall asleep against me as we enjoyed the movie, when I began to notice how close he’d gotten to me.

Winter:
"Go wash your hands."

Harry:
"Pardon?"

Winter:
"Go."

He looked at me a second before getting up, disappearing momentarily, and returning gain.

Winter:
"I have to pee. Sit."

Harry:
"Oh no. No, no. I can't hold her."

I looked at him in disbelief at how he melted like a puddle on the floor with the thought.

Winter:
"She's a baby, not a bomb. Now here. Grab that blanket and hold your arms like this."

He handled her so carefully it was almost pleasurable to watch.

Winter:
"Now pat her back really gently."

Harry:
"No my hands are heavy."

I gave him a look that suggested he'd been doing too much talking. And he continued as I'd ask.

Winter:
"Don't rock her or she'll puke. And when she burps you can stop."

He was listening to my every word, but I knew he was trying to get back on my good side. I watched for a moment as she lie in his arms, soaking up the visual image before disappearing from the room.

--

The movie was nearly over by now and he'd still been holding her. We'd talked over her quietly but nothing about Jessica or anything linked to that situation. Just about things friends would.

Winter:
"Are you sure you don't want to give her back?"

I continue to realm in the sight, as he proceeded to look down at her in awe.

Harry:
"I got it."

She slept against him. His body radiating warmth and comfort to her small body. I had to admit, I’d been jealous.

Notes

Posting this early for a subby, your welcome.