The Night I Met Harry

During my walk to the bathroom I started to feel bad I hadn’t told her more. She seemed so understanding, so willing to listen. But how do you explain to another about feelings so indescribable? These feelings for a person I’d just met. How would I even expect them to understand when I didn’t. I wondered how difficult it'd be with Scott's winter blue eyes staring back at me. I wasn’t sure about telling him, and frankly I wasn't ready for him to hate me. I couldn’t help but feel gross for disappointing him in such a way. For possibly losing him. He was the one thing that made me happy.


The hot water was therapeutic. Heat steaming down my body as I stood with my hands placed on the wall in front of me. Thoughts running through my damp head, surprised that she hadn’t insisted on questioning me further. My hair clinging to the entire of my back. I grabbed the soap as he fluttered across my mind. I was beginning to feel frustrated that I even allowed myself to think of him, though it was almost painful not to. I hastily stopped myself, taking a deep breath and washing away all memories of the night before. The warmth of the shower soothed the marks of passion around the sides of my neck that I knew lingered there. I hadn't bothered looking in the mirror before getting in. Fearful of what I might see. Of this stranger of a person I had suddenly become. I turned off the water, pulling back the shower curtains as the steam filled the bathroom. I dried off, quickly brushing my teeth and pulling on the clothes she’d picked out for me.

--

“If you need anything, just call me okay.”

I stared up the driveway of our perfect house, mouth becoming dry again. I gave her a small nod before unlocking the car and starting toward the front door. I dug around through the bottom on my bag, feeling for my keys. I peeled them out, slowly unlocking the door and forcing it open. I looked back waving her goodbye, mentally preparing myself for what came next. I glanced down the hall on my way to the kitchen wondering if he’d heard. My thoughts were answered as I heard his footsteps coming from up the stairs. “Winter !?” he warily called. I walked forward to meet him.

“You alright? I was worried about you last night. Cate said you weren’t feeling well.”

I was already overcome with guilt. Thinking too hard before speaking.

“Oh, no. I’m fine, I-I just had a few drinks is all.”

My words came out awkwardly so I thought I should probably avoid conversation. He came forward, placing a kiss on my forehead and looking down at me with those beautiful blue eyes as always. He was handsome. The guy I adored. His hair slightly messy like he’d just gotten out of bed and fingered through it. I quickly maneuvered over to the frig as casually as possible, in fear that he’d see the marks on my neck though concealed by Cate’s jacket I borrowed. My back now toward him.

“You sure, Winter? Do you need me to get you anything.”

I turned slightly. He looked at me hard, observantly this time. Eye contact with him now was harder than I’d thought it’d be.

“Scott. I’m fine.”

The day went by quickly. I lie on the bed staring up at the ceiling as I listened to the patter of the water as Scott took a shower in the next room. My mind felt somewhere else. I decided to wait a while before telling him anything. I wasn’t sure what a while was, but it certainly wasn’t any time soon. I turned on my side, playing with the ends of my hair when my phone began to vibrate on the nightstand. It could only be one of the girls, and I really didn’t feel like explaining myself while Scott was seconds away. They were always really forward. Demanding even, when it came to wanting details. I picked it up quickly, glancing at the screen in routine. My breath hitched a little as I stared in disbelief. It was Harry. I really hadn’t expected this now. What exactly was there to say to him? I pondered what he’d want. A sudden desire arose to hear the voice that made me weak. I decided to answer before I lost the nerve, soon filling with regret as my brain numbed forgetting my ability to form words. I listened unsure of how I’d greet him. It was weird. I heard a deep chuckle on the other end, breaking our silence.

“Winter?”

He sounded comfortable, so sure as if this weren't our first call. It was the first I'd heard him say my name. I felt a tingle in my fingertips as I shifted the phone.

“I’m here.”

I hadn't known what else to say. I’m assuming he realized this when he decided to lead the conversation.

“When can I see you again?”

He seemed really forward with the way he spoke. As if he could see me again. My lack of exchange prompted him to continue, though I hadn’t processed his first words.

“We didn’t exactly get a chance to talk.”

I felt it hard to respond, feeling both relief that he’d given me a chance to hear his voice again and shame for even caring. I stayed quiet in hopes that he’d hang up and just leave me to deal with the trouble that now hovered over my life with Scott.

“Is he there Winter?”

He spoke seriously. I hadn’t expected that. I was surprised at the causality of the question. I held the phone tighter.

“Yes.”

I was actually participating, clinging on to this world. My world, where Harry existed. It was hard to just forget him or ignore him. I could have. I probably should have declined the call but I had a thirst for satisfying my own curiosity. The air that drew me to him.

“Call me when he’s not around okay.”

I sat up, staring at the bathroom door when I’d realized the water had stopped running.

“I have to go, I’m sorry.”

I rushed through a whisper.

“Wait, no! Promise me. Don’t hang up until you promise me.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, taking in his plead. It was something I hadn’t experienced from him in our first meet, though I couldn't say the same. He sounded desperate. Painfully hot. All I could think about was what a bad person I’d become in the course of two days. Lying and deceitful. Two things I’d never been. But I’d be lying to myself if I said I wanted nothing to do with him. What in the hell was I getting myself into.

“I promise.”

End call.

Notes

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