“When I was 17 one guy that I had a crush on asked me out and I didn't even think about it I said yes. After that, we were in a relationship and he was my first in a lot of things.” I say and feel my eyes water a little bit I blink the tears away.
“I was on cloud nine, but because of that I sort of stopped hanging out with my beat friend Ivan. Ivan was my best friend we did everything together he was there for me whenever I needed him. But because of that guy I didn't have time for him. And we grow apart.” I say and a single tear slide down my cheek I wiped it fast. Harry sat up and got closer to me. I took in a shaky breath.
”After six months I found out he was making fool out of me the entire time. He was cheating on me with one girl since day one. Well actually that girl and he had a deal from the beginning, they wanted to make a fool out of me. When I found out about that I was disgusted. I broke up with him but people found out and started to tease me about it. It was hard for me teasing become terrible people called me names and I ended up being depressed. But no one saw that except Ivan but I didn't let him help me because I lost trust in people. My depression became stronger and I stopped eating soon that developed in the eating disorder. That is when my mum realised something is going on and took me to the hospital I was there for three months. Ivan came every day and we became best friends again.” I said and smiled sadly. Just for a moment I looked at everyone Sophs eyes were teary Liam pulled her in a hug. Harry looked mad but shocked at the same time. I decided to continue with the story.
“When I got back to school people bullied me because I ended up in the hospital. To me, it's unbelievable that they didn't even realise it was their fault. But this time I didn't care because Ivan was by my side.” I said and let couple more tears fall down my cheeks. “He was there for me until he didn't end up in a car accident. When his mum called me I was in shock and I couldn't believe that happened. I became depressed again then funeral happened. I had a panic attack. I broke down completely they needed to call emergency and I ended up in a hospital again but they let me go after a week. But I was still depressed I just pretended like everything was okay but the truth is every time I ate I went to the bathroom and throw up, I didn't sleep and I started to cut myself. My mum saw that something was wrong again and I ended up in a hospital again. But this time I stayed there longer.” I said and by now tears were running down my cheeks. Harry pulled me into the hug but I continued the story.
“After four months I realised Ivan wouldn't want me to live this way. So I started drawing and listening music. After two months I asked them if I could visit his grave. They let me, the doctor thought it would help me and she was right. A month after that they let me home. I got back to school and ignored everyone I focused on school and I gave myself a goal. I worked for it and here I am a year later.” I said and Soph pulled me in a hug.
“God I am so sorry.” She said.
“There is nothing you could have done. Actually, now that I look back I am thankful for everything that happened. I wouldn't be where I am now and I wouldn't be the person I am today.” I said and smiled sadly. “The only thing I would change is losing Ivan. I wish he didn't go to that party.” I said and let one more tear slip down my cheek.
“I can't believe someone would do something like that to you.” Liam said.
“You are amazing you know that right? After all of that, you stayed this strong and this nice.” Harry said and I smiled
“Thank you.” I said and hugged him. It felt so good to be in his hug so comforting.
„Where is that guy now?“ Soph asked. I shrugged.
„Last time I saw him was on last day of school. He was still in a relationship with that girl. I honestly don't care where is he now or what is he doing. He took so many things from me, things I can't have back.“ I said. Suddenly I didn't feel like being in the company anymore I just wanted to go home and sleep. I looked at Harry. „Do you mind driving me home, I am a little bit tired?“I asked him and he nodded hiss head.
„Sure.“ He said and stud up. I hugged Liam and Soph goodbye and we left. Once we got to the car Harry opened my door and then got in himself. He started the engine and started driving. I was looking out the window remembering my best friend. God, I miss him. My eyes got teary and one tear slide down my cheek. I wiped it away. But Harry saw it he took my hand in his and I looked at him he smiled at me.
„You miss him don't you?“ He asked and I nodded my head.
„We were total opposites but we got along so well. He played table tennis I was on every single game supporting him and cheering. He was the only one that supported my love for fashion. And what I'm doing now I'm doing it for him.“ I said and Harry squeezed my hand a little.
„I'm sure he is proud of you and that he is looking down.“ He said and then car fell in comfortable silence.

---

Once we reached my building Harry followed me into a building and I'm sure I saw a flash but I ignored it. I said hi to Ben and we walked in the elevator.
„I am okay you really didn't have to follow me all the way.“ I said and started searching for my keys.
„But I wanted to.“ He said and we walked to my flat doors. „Lost them?“ Harry asked me and I sight frustrated.
„They are somewhere in this bloody bag… I swear women should be forbidden to wear big bags. We always lose something in them.“ I say and keep looking. Harry laughed at me a little. But after couple more times of me going through my bag, I have had it enough so I just turned my bag upside down and everything I have had inside fell on the floor. Harry looked at me in shock. „Found them.“ I said and took them in my hand. I started to collect my things and put them back in my bag. Harry kneel down and helped me.
„Well, this is another way of searching.“ He said.
„Sorry, I'm just tired. And I remembered some things that I was running away from so yeah…“ I said and unlocked my doors. I put the bag on the first chair I saw and throw myself on the couch. Soon I felt Harry sit next to me.
„You know if you ever need somebody to talk to I will always be here for you.“ He said and in that moment I broke down. I started crying and sobbing. Since Ivan passed away no one said something like this to me and I could feel Harry meant every word he said. Harry pulled me up into his lap and hugged me tightly. I just kept sobbing. „It's okay.“ He whispered in my ear. After ten minutes I stopped sobbing, I pulled away a little and looked at Harrys' shirt I laughed a little.
„I'm sorry… I got your shirt wet…“ I said and he looked and laughed a little.
„It's okay.“ He looked me in the eyes. „I don't care for the shirt… I care for you, will you be okay?“ He asked me and I looked at the wall behind him. I don't want to be alone now… Can I ask him that?
„Ummm…. Can I ask you for a favour?... You don't need to do it I'll understand… It's just I don't want to be alone now and could you…“ I started talking but he finished my sentence.
„Stay? Of course, I can.“ He said and smiled I smiled back. He pulled me back into a hug and we just stayed like that for a while. It felt nice. I started to drift off and Harry saw it. He picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. He put me down on the bed. „Sweet dreams.“ He said and walked back to living room. I change to my oversized t-shirt. I looked at the living room, Harry was laying on a couch under the blanket that barely covered his feet. I walked back to the living room and Harry looked up at me.
„You okay?“ He asked and I nodded my head.
„I don't mind if you sleep in my bed. I don't want you to wake up next morning all broken from this couch.“ I said he thought about it for a moment but then stud up and followed me in the bedroom. I lied down and covered myself with covers. He stood next to bed like he was thinking about something but then picked up the covers before he lied down I rolled my eyes. „You know I have seen guys before in boxers. If you feel uncomfortable sleeping in jeans you can take them off. Ivan and I used to have sleepovers like this.“ I said and he smiles.
„Thank God you said that. I was cursing myself for wearing this jeans today.“ He said and I laughed. He took his jeans of and lied down in bed. „Why bad things happen to good people?“ He asked me and I shrugged.
„They trust too much.“ I said and rolled over so I was looking him in the eyes. „Not many people know my story… Actually only my and Ivans family knows. I don't know why I told you. But it felt like right thing to do.“ I said and he smiled.
„You are special. There is something about you I can't explain it…“ He said and pulled me closer to him. We stayed like that and eventually I drifted off.

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