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Two weeks passed. Two whole weeks since Harry walked out her door. Elle was drowning. She couldn’t breathe without him. She couldn’t breathe knowing she was so disposable – that she meant next to nothing to him. She was the one who told him to leave, but a part of her wanted to see some fight in him. If he was truly sorry for doubting her then why did he leave so easily? She hated being wishy-washy. She hated saying one thing but meaning another. But he hurt her and to prevent herself from enduring anymore heartache, she asked him to leave. And he did. And now she was mush. She was a shell of herself. She never felt like this before. Not with any other man. She never felt so complete with someone and so empty without them. He made her this way. He made her love him so completely and now he was just gone, leaving her barren.

Elle wasn’t herself and people closest to her were catching on. She worked on auto-pilot for nearly two weeks, which concerned Charlie to a great degree. He knew things were rocky with Harry, but Elle didn’t tell him about Harry showing up at her doorstep or the circumstances surrounding his visit. She didn’t want to talk about it because it would just make it that much more real and harder to bear.

“Is it really over?” Charlie asked as they stood outside the Roosevelt Hotel waiting on some kind of celebrity sighting.

Elle looked up at him, her eyes wide and feral. Two weeks and he hadn’t mentioned it and now of all days – a day she couldn’t get Harry out of her mind, he decided to bring it up.

“I mean, are you?” He stammered, looking at her sympathetically, like he knew how much she was hurting just by the look she gave him. She looked away and let out a sigh.

“I don’t know. I guess,” Elle said quietly, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. She didn’t wear any makeup because she just didn’t care anymore. Who did she need to be beautiful for anymore?

“You guess?” He asked. She shot him a glare. She didn’t really want to talk about it, but Charlie was never one to let something go. He chipped away at you until you spilled all your secrets. Elle was sure that’s what made him such a great paparazzi.

“I’m just concerned, Elle. You’re… different. You’re broken,” he said with a sympathetic half-smile that showed more signs of sadness than a smile should.

“Of course I’m broken. He broke me,” Elle said quietly. It was more accusatory than anything.He broke her.

“Because he was with another girl?” Charlie question carefully.

“No.” Elle shook her head slowly, looking down at her feet.

“Elle, you can talk to me, you know. It’s all off the record. Our friendship is off the record, okay. I’m not Lorenzo,” he reminded her.

“You could never be Lorenzo,” Elle retorted.

“So then talk to me. I know you need to talk about this. Please, talk to me,” he said with a pleading tone in his voice.

Elle looked up at him tentatively and saw genuine concern in his eyes. Charlie was her best friend, for better or worse, he was always there.

“Harry—he… he thought I… that I was the one to leak the pictures. That I was conspiring with Lorenzo,” Elle choked out.

“What?” Charlie said sharply.

“He… someone on his team convinced him it could have been me who leaked the pictures. And… and that’s why he disappeared, why we found him with another girl. He was trying to forget me or whatever,” she explained with a passive shrug of her shoulders, because she couldn’t spend any more time thinking about how it tore her apart.

“Holy shit,” Charlie sighed.

“I-I told him if he thought that low of me then he should leave and… and he did,” she said, feeling her tears well in her eyes.

“Wait. When did this happen?” Charlie’s eyebrows furrowed.

“That same night. He showed up at my apartment,” she told him.

“So he just went there to accuse you of leaking your own naked pictures?” Charlie snapped with annoyance heavy in his tone that was directed toward Harry.

“Well, no. He came to tell me he didn’t think that anymore. Not after the way I reacted to him and Kendall. He knew by my reaction that I was genuinely hurt and that I genuinely care for him. But he like… I just can’t… I just can’t get passed the fact that he just blew me off because he thought I was just some gold-digger. Like, he didn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt and that just… that just doesn’t work for me,” Elle explained, shaking her head, her heart filling with disappointment once again as she rehashed everything she was trying to forget.

“As it shouldn’t. I’m proud of you, Elle. Just because he’s some hot-shot celebrity doesn’t mean you need to fall at his feet. You held yourself together.” He smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“Except now I’m falling apart,” she told him, feeling the pain tighten in her chest.

“You’re strong, baby girl. You’ll get through this,” he assured her.

And she wanted so badly to believe him, but she wasn’t sure.

.

.

The moment Elle got home that night she was bombarded by memories of Harry and the short time they spent together. Everything was a painful reminder of him. She was sure she would need to move to escape the flashbacks in her mind every time she stepped foot over the threshold of her apartment door. Painful wasn’t even the right word to use to describe how it felt. It was so much more than that. Crippling came closer, but still didn’t have enough description and depth to it.

Elle walked into her tiny kitchen, flipping on the light and immediately grabbed for the lone bottle of vodka that sat atop her refrigerator. Harry brought it over one night and they barely drank from it before the urge to ravage one another took over. Now it sat there taunting her. So why not take advantage of it? He wouldn’t be back for it. And if he really cared about a stupid bottle of vodka... then she didn’t even know.

She grabbed herself a glass from the cabinet before unscrewing the top of it. She paused before bringing the lip of the bottle to her mouth, bypassing the glass altogether. It seemed appropriate at the time. It seemed like it might get her drunker faster if she just pulled from the bottle.

Elle felt the burning taste of the vodka all the way down her esophagus and her face puckered into a look of pure disgust. Vodka wasn’t her first choice for taking shots, but whatever. She didn’t care about much these days. Without even chasing the harsh liquid with anything, she took a few more pulls from the bottle before she set it down on the countertop, letting a low hiss escape from her mouth as she tried to recover from the horrid taste.

She just wanted to cry or die or something, but she knew after nearly fourteen nights of crying herself to sleep, it was getting a little out of hand. Did he really deserve that much of her?

Elle made her way toward her bed, wobbling on her feet, the liquor taking effect almost immediately. She flipped off the light in the kitchen on her way out, leaving herself in complete darkness. She just wanted sleep to swallow her whole. She let out a large sigh before falling backwards onto the bed. She pressed the heels of her palms into her eye sockets and let out a large breath. She wanted to shut her eyes and close herself off to the world. She wanted to shut off her brain so she didn’t have to think. She wanted to break off all ties to her heart to escape the despair she felt. Too bad it wasn’t that easy.

.

.

Elle woke with a start. A loud banging on her door riled her from her unconsciousness. She laid there for a moment longer trying to settle her startled heart before attending to the unexpected visitant. She pulled herself up to sitting and rubbed her eyes just as another tempered banging erupted on her apartment door.

“Hold on,” she grumbled as she got to her feet.

Her legs drug her to the door, her hand finding the door knob in the dark as she unlocked it. But she froze when her eye found the tiny peephole that was illuminating light through it.Who was at her door at this time of night?

Just as she went to look, she was startled by his voice.

“Elle,please,” she heard him plead.

Harry. Oh, god.

Her hand moved away from the door knob as she took a step back.

“Elle,” he sighed.

Her heart was pounding nearly out of her chest as the panic set in and began rising rapidly.

“Elle, I know you’re there. Please let me in,” Harry said through the door.

What could she do? He heard her unlock the door. The door—

Just as she had the thought, she heard the turning of the door knob and watched wide-eyed as the light flooded her dark apartment as the door slowly opened. And then he was standing there in the opened doorway, the light framing him in like a fucking angel and she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted to explode.

“Elle, god… you just… god…” He groaned. And her brain finally started working, because she registered that he was drunk.

Her eyes shot down to the set of car keys in his hand and the anger and fearfulness exploded inside of her.

“Did you drive here, Harry? You’re… you’re drunk,” she stammered, her tone clipped.

“I needed to see you,” he told her as she reached over to flip on her apartment light, illuminating the entire space.

“You can’t just… gahhh, Harry. What if you got caught driving like this? What if you got hurt or hurt someone else? That was really stupid,” Elle lectured him.

“I needed to see you, Elle. Don’t you get it?” He said sharply.

“At what expense!?” She yelled at him, throwing her hands up in the air.

“At any expense!” He shot back, taking a bold step closer.

Elle’s eyes shot up to his, looking at him expectantly. She needed an explanation, a reason he was there. This was too much. What was he even doing?

“Harry, what do you want?” She sighed, feeling absolutely defeated.

“You,” he said without missing a beat.

Her eyes focused on his again as she felt her insides melt with his confession. How did he have such a hold on her? How could he possess her so thoroughly? Her head spun and her stomach churned with the warmth of the vodka in it. She didn’t sleep long, but the alcohol had more than enough time to run wild through her veins, making her light-headed and unfocused.

“Harry,” she sighed, letting her eyes drop away from his.

“I’m not done, Elle. You… you asked me to leave and I did. But fuck, Ace, I can’t stay away,” he confessed. Just the sound of his nickname for her rolling off his tongue sent her body into withdrawals for him.

“Harry,” she said again, because she couldn’t seem to find any other words. His presence made her mush and his absence made her mush. She no longer felt like a solid person.

“Elle,” He breathed as their eyes connected and he took another step forward.

Elle swallowed hard, feeling her face flush as her breathing hitched. He was so incredibly beautiful. It was washing away her distasteful feelings like a tidal wave.

How did she become a woman who fell apart over a guy, in and out of his arms? She was not raised to be that way. She had values that sometimes made her headstrong to a fault, but with Harry it was like nothing else mattered but being with him.

“You hurt me,” she managed to croak out.

“I know, babe. And I’ll do anything to make it up to you,” he told her, reaching up to tangle his fingers in her hair, gripping onto the back of her neck. His eyes never left hers.

“You’re drunk,” she reminded him.

“I’m thinking clearly,” he assured her.

“Harry,” she whimpered as his face moved in slowly, her eyes locking on his lips.

“Elle,” he whispered before capturing her lips with his own.

She was intoxicated by him. Her head was spinning as her fingers gripped tightly at the front of his shirt, nearly clawing at him to bring him closer to her as his tongue slipped in her mouth, tangling with her own. Her traitorous body craved him more than anything it ever felt in its entire existence. She wasn’t sure what willpower she could muster up, if any. And she didn’t think she wanted to even if she could.

She wasn’t aware he was leading her toward the bed until the back of her legs hit the mattress and he was tumbling down on top of her. But they weren’t thrown. Their mouths found each other again almost immediately. The vodka lowered her inhibitions and the gaping hole that was left in her heart after him was begging to be filled. She didn’t stand a chance.

“You consume me, Ace,” Harry breathed against her lips, causing her to let out a groan.

He consumed her completely – every breath, every thought, everything second.

“I want to… gahhh, Ace. You—” Harry said pulling up, shaking his head. Elle opened her eyes to find his shut tightly.

“What, Harry?” She questioned, bringing her hands up to cup his face. His eyes opened and found hers.

“I have so much I want to say to you. But, I just… I feel like… I feel like you’ll think it’s just a cop out – that I’m just saying it to… to get back with you,” he said, sounding distressed.

“Say it,” she told him.

“Ace,” he breathed, but her eyes were burning into his and he knew she wouldn’t let it go.

“Say it,” she repeated, waiting on baited breath.

Harry let out a sigh, dropping his head down between his arms for a moment before looking back up into her eyes, his own fill with such an intense desire – for what, she didn’t know. Her, perhaps? Her body was already on high alert for his touch, for his anything. And now she was longing for him to tell her everything he held back.

“I-I… I love you, Ace. I fell in love with you,” Harry confessed, taking her completely by surprise. Her breathing caught in her throat as she looked up into his intense eyes.

“Harry—” Elle croaked out.

“I think I loved you before I even knew you, Elle. And… and when this… when this all happened and I thought—god, I was so heartbroken. I wanted so badly to believe you didn’t do… that you… gahhh. I’m so sorry,” he told her, his voice breaking with true emotion.

“I’m no good for you,” Elle managed to say through her own emotion.

“I don’t care. And yes, you are,” he protested, shaking his head.

Elle gripped his face again, kissing his lips. And he kissed back, showing her exactly how he felt.

“I’m scared to love you,” she breathed against his lips.

“Don’t. Don’t ever be. Elle. I-I… I just want to make you happy. Since I met you, that’s all I’ve wanted. Don’t be afraid,” he told her as he shook his head.

“I’ve felt the pain of being away from you. It’s like I’m left with nothing at all,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut tightly, unable to look at him through her confession.

“Same, Elle. Same. I never—I never want to feel that again, okay. I want you. I want you in my life. I want to hold your hand and kiss your lips and make love to you every single night and mornings and afternoons and whenever you want,” he said, giving her a sneaky smile.

“God,” Elle laughed, thinking about how much stamina they’d both need for that amount of sex.

“Whatever, whenever – just as long as I’m with you. And I mean that, Elle. Screw everything else. Screw the media. Screw the cynics and the skeptics. Screw them, okay. I want your heart,” he said, pressing his palm against her chest, right above the organ that beat solely for him.

Elle felt her tears slide smoothly down the sides of her face.

“You have my heart,” she croaked out through the lump in her throat.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he sighed as their lips connected once again.

Their kisses were more demanding, more desire-filled. As if they’d both stop breathing if they ever stopped kissing. They only slowed momentarily to peel away an article of clothing here and there.

Harry’s movements were slick and smooth, worshiping Elle’s body. His lips and tongue moved smoothly up the long expanse of her exposed torso, sending tingles throughout her extremities. His fingers dug into her flesh, keeping her writhing body in place. It almost felt like a dream to have him like that again. The scenarios she imagined for the past two weeks were complete torture – but this… this was something else, some other form of torture – one she was willing to endure over and over again.

His hands slid up her body, cupping around her bra-clad breasts, squeezing them before his fingers pulled the fabric away, exposing each nipple. His mouth encompassed the left one, toying and teasing it with his hot wet tongue. A moan escaped Elle’s throat as her back arched up from the mattress.

“Oh, Ace. Your body missed me,” he breathed against her sensitive flesh.

“Mm-hmm,” she agreed fully, biting at her bottom lip.

She felt his teeth lightly nip at the bud, sending wild sensations throughout her.

“God, Harry,” she groaned.

“Mmm,” he hummed against her skin as his mouth slid down the valley between her breasts and came back up the other side, sucking her right nipple into his mouth – using the same powerful technique he did before to drive her insane.

As his body moved up her own, his lips found hers, his hips falling perfectly between her open legs.

“I want us to be more,” he breathed against her mouth.

“More?” She questioned.

“I want all of you, Elle,” he told her.

“Everything?” She questioned breathlessly.

“Everything and more,” he confirmed.

“You have it,” Elle told him, meaning it completely.

“I want to hold your hand and kiss your lips as we’re walking down the street,” he continued, causing her breathing to hitch. He wasn’t kidding. He wanted everything.

“I told you I wanted it all,” he reminded her.

“You… you can have it,” she said finally, weighing the pros and cons of what he was asking.

Nothing could get her to go back to the way things were without him by her side.

“You promise?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow at her.

“I’m baring myself completely for you. You have me, Harry,” she told him.

“It’s all I ask.” He smiled sweetly at her with an excitement in his eyes that warmed her. And she realized she loved making him happy more than anything.

His lips pressed against hers firmly, enveloping her own with his kisses. His hips rocked into hers, causing her to throw her head back with a loud gasp. Harry took the opportunity to kiss down her neck and throat, his hand sinking lower and lower down her body until it was buried in the front of her panties.

“Oh, Harry,” Elle moaned as his fingers slipped down her cleft, sinking into the wetness.

“You’re so ready for me,” he cooed with a smirk.

“Mm-hmm.” She nodded, licking her lips, her eyes completely hooded with desire.

The drive that knowledge gave him was truly breathtaking. There was barely breathing room between the time he removed both of their underwear and the moment he knelt between her legs, ready to press in.

Harry hiked up each one of her legs against his hips as he pulled her body closer to his before slowly pushing himself inside, sinking slowly into her. Elle let out a sated sigh as he buried himself completely, their hipbones pressed together as he kissed her lips. She felt so full with him thoroughly entombed inside of her.

“Oh god, Harry.Please,” Elle whimpered, needing him to move, to send her over the edge. She needed him like she needed the air in her lungs.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he assured her as he slowly pulled back and began a slow rock, in and out of her. He moved slowly and passionately at first before really gaining his momentum, leaving her gasping for breath.

“Harry—” Elle choked out as she felt the unrivaled feelings of orgasm coursing through her body, sending her head spinning. Harry rocked his hips faster and faster to send her spiraling.

“I love you so much,” she whimpered as her body writhed below him.

His lips pressed firmly, almost painfully to hers, stifling out her last whimpers as the pleasure raced through her body. When his own orgasm shot through him, he groaned against her mouth before burying his face into the nape of her neck. She held him tightly as he rode it out, leaving both of them breathing heavily, their bodies slick with perspiration.

After a few moments Harry slipped out of her, but didn’t move away.

“I want to hear you say it outside of orgasm,” Harry said, pulling up to look her in the eye.

Elle looked up at him as her heart beat faster and faster. He wanted to hear that she loved him. How could he not know?

“I want to hear you say it again,” he told her.

“Harry,” Elle breathed. His eyes blinked, his eyelashes fluttering, but he never looked away.

“I’m so in love with you it hurts,” she told him truthfully. His unwavering smile because of her words was enough to make her stomach do flip-flops.

“I’ll always be here to make you feel better,” he told her.

“Promise?” She smirked at him.

“Always.” He nodded before leaning in to kiss her lips.

And she couldn’t believe how easy it was – how easy loving Harry was and how surprising it was to her that he was always there to keep his promise.

.

.

One month later

“Have I mentioned how beautiful you look tonight?” Harry smiled at Elle from across the small table at the restaurant they were dinning at together.

He did. Many times.

The best part was the way his eyes smiled right along with his lips. It was Elle’s way of knowing he was telling the truth. He saw every part of her, his eyes never wandering. It was like she was all that mattered to him and it made her feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

“I love you,” she breathed, smiling back at him, feeling like a lovesick teenager.

“I love you.” He smiled back fondly.

“Can I get you anything else?” Their very pretty, very flirty waitress asked, staring straight at Harry, ignoring Elle completely.

“The check, please,” he said, handing her his black AmEx, never taking his eyes off of Elle.

“Right away,” she said quickly, and Elle looked up at her for a split second and saw the disappointment flood her face because Harry didn’t give her the time of day through their entire dining experience, other than signing a quick autograph for her when they first arrived.

“She wants to sleep with you,” Elle said matter-of-factly, smirking at him after the waitress walked away from the table.

“I want to sleep with you,” he countered, smirking back. Elle felt her cheeks heat up as her eyes swiftly darted around the small restaurant, wondering if anyone heard him.

Harry licked his lips and bounced his eyebrows once at her.

“Naughty,” Elle breathed lowly, sending him a suggestive look.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” he promised and she felt her insides clench as the desire pooled inside of her.

Their eyes stayed on each other as the waitress approached again. It was like a seductive staring contest, in which Elle had no doubts he would win. She could feel the frenzy of pheromones he was emanating and she knew he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had her beneath him. And to be completely honest – she had no plans of being any type of challenge. He had her. He possessed her. She craved him.

“Here you are. Thank you, Mr. Styles. I do hope you enjoyed dining with us tonight,” the girl spouted off, begging for any type of attention from him.

“Thank you,” he told her, barely throwing her scraps as she metaphorically fell at his feet.

Harry’s eyes only broke their hold on Elle to look down to sign the astronomical bill and then they were back on her.

“H-have a great evening,” the waitress said finally.

“Thank you,” Elle said, smiling politely at her. She smiled uncomfortably back before she turned and headed to the hostess podium where she immediately began chatting with the blonde who was stationed there.

“Are you ready?” Harry asked.

“Does that question have a double meaning?” Elle smirked at him.

“You know me well.” He smirked back as he stood up and took her hand in his, helping her to her feet.

“I learn quickly,” Elle giggled as Harry leaned in and left a swift kiss on her lips.

“One of the many things I love about you.” He smiled before they turned and made their way out of the restaurant, his hand on her lower back.

Once they broke through the threshold of the restaurants front doors, they were bombarded by a small sea of paparazzi and their cameras. Harry looked over at Elle, looking almost worried about how she would react. But in an instant, his lips turned up into a smile and he grabbed ahold of her hand, intertwining their fingers together.

“Let’s go, Ace,” he told her, leaning in to leave a light kiss on her temple as the cameramen continued their rapid snapping of pictures.

“Let’s.” Elle smiled slyly back at him, knowing where the evening would take them.

They walked hand-in-hand through the barrage of flash bulbs and the questions being thrown at them. Harry stood strong, answering the questions he felt like and ignoring the others. Elle kept her mouth shut because she never knew what to say. Harry was well-versed in this, whereas Elle was more familiar being the prying personality. Maybe that’s why she and Harry got along so well. She could dish it out and he could take it. They bounced off each other in a way that made their relationship unique and Elle loved that about them. She loved him.

“So is this thing more than a fling?” One of them asked the couple. Elle and Harry just looked at each other with sneaking smirks that Elle was sure everyone caught onto.

She could see the headline now. Finally official? Harry Styles dating camera girl who inspired gay controversy.

The thing about Elle now versus Elle a couple of months prior was that being thrust on the other side of the camera didn’t bring on the anxiety like it used to. Because now she had Harry by her side and she knew he wasn’t going anywhere. And that was all the comfort she needed.

“You could say that,” Harry said finally, with a salacious grin on his lips.

After everything they went through, after all the press and the stress, they finally found their footing. The strength she felt with him by her side was life-changing and it was something she would never give away or give up on ever again.

In the end she knew it was true what they say – life is like photography, we develop from the negatives.

Notes