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“Elle, please open the door,” she heard Harry’s impatient voice.

“Oh my god,” she breathed as she got to her feet, entirely sure she looked like a complete mess.

“I know you’re in there, Elle. Please. I need to explain,” she heard him say as she tip-toed to her bathroom, wiping the smeared makeup from below her eyes.

“I just want to explain,” she heard him sigh as she moved toward the door.

Elle had no idea what he could possibly explain that would make her see him in a different light, to unbreak her heart. But she knew the second he showed up at her door she wouldn’t be able to deny him. She knew she couldn’t shut him out no matter how badly he hurt her.

She slowly unlocked the door and opened it slightly to look up at him through her red, blotchy eyes.

“Oh, Elle,” he sighed, looking more than a little somber.

“What do you want, Harry?” She asked as her lip quivered with emotion.

“Please, Elle. Just let me explain. Let me explain what I’ve been feeling,” he pleaded.

“Why should I?” She snapped at him.

“Because I’m stupid. And you deserve to know just how stupid I’ve been,” he said sadly. Elle scoffed, shaking her head.

“Please, Elle,” he said again.

She stared at him for a few minutes. She knew it was a bad idea. She knew if she looked into those mesmerizing green eyes, she was going to give in. And she could have kicked herself for opening the door wider for him if she didn’t already known that deep down, once again, she would never deny this man.

Harry walked in without a word and Elle watched him, his back to her. She watched as his hands came up and wiped slowly down his face as he let out a deep sigh. And she couldn’t take it anymore. She had to look away from him because it was too painful to see him so distressed. She silently closed the door and turned on the lamp by the couch to illuminate the room around them. Elle’s eyes fixated on the fabric of the couch to avoid looking at him. Memories flooded in her mind of the night they spent on that couch – the couch where thelife-ruiningpictures were taken. It only made everything worse. It only made his presence standing in front of her that much worse when all she could think about was how badly she missed his hands on her. She was such an idiot. After everything, you’d think she’d learn.

Harry slowly turned around and Elle’s eyes immediately found his.

“Why—” She choked out, trying to keep her emotions held back.

“Elle,” Harry whispered, his face tightening up in a look of anguish.

“Please, Harry. Please stop saying my name and tell me why you… you—god, you’re just as bad as Lorenzo,” Elle growled, breaking her eyes away from him again.

“I’m just as bad as him?Elle, be real,” Harry said incredulously, his eyes widening to a maddening degree.

“Be real!? Why are you here, Harry? Why did you even come here?” She shot at him.

“I want to explain, Elle. I-I…” He stammered, seemingly frustrated with her, with everything.

“Then explain. Explain away your guilt,” she said with a hint of malice in her tone.

“It’s not—Elle, please. That’s not… I just want…ugh, this is so bloody frustrating,” he said, pushing his fingers through his hair quickly.

“As if I’m not frustrated by all of this too, Harry. As if I’m not the one who has hershitspread wide open for everyone on the internet, okay. Don’t talk to me about frustration and act like I’m not right there with you,” she spat at him.

“Just—stop talking, okay. Just stop,” he snapped quickly, causing her jaw to drop open.

“Let me explain. Elle… god, I’m sorry, okay. I am so sorry,” he said, his facial features and his words softening. Her eyebrows knit together and her heart clenched painfully as she watched the remorse and regret plague him.

“I… I was wrong. I was so wrong and I see that now,” he said, looking straight into her eyes.

“Wrong about what?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Wrong about you,” he said, matching her quiet tone.

“About me?” She choked out, her heart feeling as if it was breaking all over again.

He was wrong about her? He was wrong to ever be with her? She was so afraid for him to elaborate on what he said. She was afraid he was about to crush her completely.

“Elle, I thought… as soon as you told me about your past with Lorenzo, I thought… I was led to believe that maybe you weren’t being as honest as I-I trusted you were,” he confessed.

“What?” She asked, her head spinning.

“I-I thought… I mean, there was a sneaking suspicion that when the pictures were leaked that maybe you were behind it,” he finally said, laying it all out for her.

“What?” She choked out, her tears stinging her eyes almost immediately. But she knew she needed to hold herself together, that she needed to choke back the emotion.

“I-I’m sorry. I see it now. I see how honest and beautiful and true you are. I can see it in the way you look at me. I can see it in the emotion you have over what I’ve done. I’m sorry, Elle. I really am,” he said, his voice and words pleading with her.

“You thought—” Elle choked out.

“I’m sorry. It just… it just all seemed so, I don’t know, convenient. You and Lorenzo sharing a past. Lorenzo leaking the photos. And… and the whole losing the camera thing… I don’t know. I’m sorry,” he tried to explain.

“So you were fed this bullshit scenario from someone on your team…” She began, trying to piece it all together.

“It just… it seemed more realistic,” he said quietly.

“And so your first instinct is to believe everyone is out to get you?” She asked him incredulously.

“It’s not the first time,” he said shamefully, his cheeks tinting with blush.

“But, what we had… what we had specifically… you thought—” She said, still trying to wrap her head around it all.

“I’m sorry, Elle. I know now. The second I saw how hurt you were, how affected you were by seeing me tonight, I knew. I knew I was wrong – completely wrong. I’ve been a mess, Elle. I’ve been a mess without you. I-I don’t—” He cut himself off and wiped his hands down his face again in frustration.

“The fact that you would think that of me… that I would just sell you out like that… that’s fucked up, Harry,” Elle croaked out, emotions heavy in her voice.

“Elle, I’m sorry. I know. I’m sorry,” he said, his voice straining slightly.

Elle’s head wasspinning, spinning, spinning. It hurt a lot that Harry would think so low of her – that he distrusted her so much after everything they went through. It tore straight through her – his words, his actions, his feelings. Tears helplessly slipped down her face because she was shattered.

“I would never—” She choked out.

“I know that now,” he told her, taking a step closer, but backed off when she took a step back.

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her, as he tried to read her, but she had no idea what was even going on in her head, so she knew he’d never be able to figure her out. Her mind was on the brink of implosion. She didn’t know whether to just bury his distrust and just let him hold her and make everything better, or to steady her ground and cut her losses. Because she was lost.

But she knew she didn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t able to give her the benefit of the doubt before completely cutting her out of his life, before traipsing around Hollywood with a new girl on his arm to prove a fucking point. How could she be with someone like that? And it all came back to how different they were from one another. She was sure they would never be able to bridge the gap. She was a photographer and he was her focus. It shouldn’t have gone farther than that and it should not go farther than that. Not from now on.

“Just tell me what I can do, Elle. Tell me what you want,” Harry pleaded with her.

“Maybe we need to just go back. Maybe we just need to live our lives as strangers again. You be you and I’ll just be me… away from each other,” she told him. Harry took a distressed breath in, looking at her like she just told him his dog died.

“Is that what youreallywant, Elle?” He furrowed his brow at her.

“I… I don’t know,” Elle answered quietly, averting her gaze away from his.

“Because that is thelastpossible thing I want,” he told her, his voice full of protest.

“I think— I think it would be for the best,” she breathed, her eyes pinned to the floor.

“Look me in the eye when you say it and maybe I’ll believe you,” he said sharply. Elle looked up in his eyes quickly, his green ones piercing hers.

“I think you should leave,” she said finally, standing her ground.

Harry’s hardened stare lingered on her, tearing her apart with a look. He was determined to make her feel every part of him in that one long gaze – and she did. She felt him. And she was sure she’d never stop feeling him.

“If that’s what you want,” he said, a challenge in his voice. He was determined to break her, but she wouldn’t let him.

“It’s what I want,” she said, her voice nearly betraying her as it wavered and cracked with emotion.

And without another word, like all the fight drained out of him, Harry walked toward the door and left the apartment. And Elle knew she would live to regret her decision.

Notes