Hello, Darcy.
Little Girl.
I decided to pay Mum a little visit alone while Harry is lounging around in the living room. I wanted to tell Mum about everything. I guess now would be a good time. Better late than never right? The guilt and shame is still built over me, I feel guilty over the fact that my Mom basically raised me my whole entire life trying to make me happy, and here I was mutilating my own self.
I walked over to Mum’s door to see surprisingly closed, which was usually opened. I knocked three times before Dr. Ravenberg opened the door, with a pity smile forced on his face. “Hello Darcy, I was just done giving your Mum some medicine.” He smiled. I smiled back. “I’ll be going now.” with that he walked out of the room, and there clearly in my view was Mum. There wasn’t a time where I couldn’t feel heartbroken. It was just a few days ago when she started to loose a huge amount of weight, and now she’s as thin as paper. “Darcy, sweetie?” She asked, her voice was so weak.
“Mummy.” I smiled. “How are you feeling?” I walked over to the little empty corner by her and sat there.
“The usual, but thanks to Doctor Ravenberg I’m feeling a tad bit better.” She chuckled. A tear escaped my eye quickly, before I could even close my eyes. “Darcy?” Mum asked.
“Yes?” I looked up to see she was staring at my wrists. Her face brightened as if some angel came to rescue her.
“They’re fading.” She exclaimed excitingly, referring to my scars. Her fragile hand slowly and carefully held up my wrists as she examined them, tracing over every scar.
“I stopped, just for you.” I said nervously, biting my lip. She smiled with so much joy, it made me feel so happy inside.
“Mummy?” I asked, with my voice shaking.
“Yes, Darcy?” Now my eyes were practically running down with tears non-stop.
“I’m so sorry.” I cried and quickly hugged her tightly. “Sshh.” She coo’d, rubbing my back. I felt myself melt into her arms, no matter how thin she was, I felt as if I was a child again being embraced by their mother. If I could only turn back time, I would go back as to being a little girl again and learn every mistake I’ve done, and never do it again.
“Darcy, it’s alright darling.” She said softly, brushing her hand through my hair.
“Mum, it’s not alright…” I paused. “I feel so guilty over the fact that you were trying to be the best Mum you can to make me happy, yet here I was hurting myself.”
“Darcy, you can’t let this hold on to you forever.” She said. “Yes, I may have been really upset over the fact that you hurt yourself, but no matter what you’ll always be my little girl.”
“But Darcy, will you promise me one thing?” She suddenly blurted out.
“Of course, Mummy.” I said softly.
“When I’m gone, promise me that you will live happy, and that you won’t hurt yourself anymore.” She said.
“I promise, Mummy.” I smiled. We finally let go of eachother and sat there smiling. She lifted her hand and cupped my cheek, wiping away the tears on my face. I suddenly noticed the shining huge rock on her finger. I quickly grabbed her hand gently, and studied the huge rock.
“Wow.” I gasped, the ring was beautiful. It was a large diamond circle, along the band were little diamonds encrusted. “He really does know how to pick a ring.” I chuckled.
“He is Harry Styles, right?” Mum laughed.
“I’m so happy for you both.” I smiled.
“I’m so happy, that you’re happy Darcy.” She smiled.
“I love you so much.” I said and hugged her.
“I love you too Darcy, very very much.” She smiled. “Now, I heard what happened out there…” She suddenly blurted out, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Oh Jesus, now you too?” I asked embarrassingly, I could tell I was blushing red.
“Your Dad.”She admitted nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. I let out a huge sigh.
“That snoop.” I chuckled.
“Now Darcy tell me, what’s his name?” She asked.
“Ryan…” I smiled, my eyes darting to the side. I felt my heart flutter as I said his name.
“How old is he?” She asked.
“Mum, all I know is that I practically ran into him while I was trying to go to the loo.” I admitted.
Mum laughed. “The klutz you are.” I laughed along with her.
“Does he have a relative here too?” She asked curiously.
“No, he actually works here…well he’s an intern.” I said.
“Impressive.” She said nodding her head.
-------------------------------------------------
I walked down the hall where Ryan and I basically bumped into each other, I felt a smile curve on my lips still thinking about him. He made me feel smitten. But the smile turned into a little frown, I haven’t seen his face at all today. Disappointment is now all I’m feeling.
--------------------------------------------------
I returned back to the waiting room to see Harry on the phone pacing back and forth across the place. “No- I don’t know.” He said, looking a bit frustrated. “I’ll try to make it.”
“Yes, I’ll bring Darcy… Okay, I love you too.” He said and hung up the phone. His eyes widened when he saw me, guess he didn’t really notice that I was here.
“Sorry, bout that…how’s your Mum?” He asked, trying to change the subject.
“Mum’s fine.” I smiled, feeling curious.
“Listen, I know as much as I don’t want to leave your Mum alone, neither do you also, I was wondering if you’d like to come meet your Grandma and Grandpa.” He suddenly blurted out.
“My- Grandma and Grandpa?” I asked. He nodded. “Listen Darc, I know that I’ve basically made you missed out on everything for the past 17 years, but-“
“Okay I’ll go, but what if they don’t like me?” I asked.
“They’ll love you, I promise.”
I walked over to Mum’s door to see surprisingly closed, which was usually opened. I knocked three times before Dr. Ravenberg opened the door, with a pity smile forced on his face. “Hello Darcy, I was just done giving your Mum some medicine.” He smiled. I smiled back. “I’ll be going now.” with that he walked out of the room, and there clearly in my view was Mum. There wasn’t a time where I couldn’t feel heartbroken. It was just a few days ago when she started to loose a huge amount of weight, and now she’s as thin as paper. “Darcy, sweetie?” She asked, her voice was so weak.
“Mummy.” I smiled. “How are you feeling?” I walked over to the little empty corner by her and sat there.
“The usual, but thanks to Doctor Ravenberg I’m feeling a tad bit better.” She chuckled. A tear escaped my eye quickly, before I could even close my eyes. “Darcy?” Mum asked.
“Yes?” I looked up to see she was staring at my wrists. Her face brightened as if some angel came to rescue her.
“They’re fading.” She exclaimed excitingly, referring to my scars. Her fragile hand slowly and carefully held up my wrists as she examined them, tracing over every scar.
“I stopped, just for you.” I said nervously, biting my lip. She smiled with so much joy, it made me feel so happy inside.
“Mummy?” I asked, with my voice shaking.
“Yes, Darcy?” Now my eyes were practically running down with tears non-stop.
“I’m so sorry.” I cried and quickly hugged her tightly. “Sshh.” She coo’d, rubbing my back. I felt myself melt into her arms, no matter how thin she was, I felt as if I was a child again being embraced by their mother. If I could only turn back time, I would go back as to being a little girl again and learn every mistake I’ve done, and never do it again.
“Darcy, it’s alright darling.” She said softly, brushing her hand through my hair.
“Mum, it’s not alright…” I paused. “I feel so guilty over the fact that you were trying to be the best Mum you can to make me happy, yet here I was hurting myself.”
“Darcy, you can’t let this hold on to you forever.” She said. “Yes, I may have been really upset over the fact that you hurt yourself, but no matter what you’ll always be my little girl.”
“But Darcy, will you promise me one thing?” She suddenly blurted out.
“Of course, Mummy.” I said softly.
“When I’m gone, promise me that you will live happy, and that you won’t hurt yourself anymore.” She said.
“I promise, Mummy.” I smiled. We finally let go of eachother and sat there smiling. She lifted her hand and cupped my cheek, wiping away the tears on my face. I suddenly noticed the shining huge rock on her finger. I quickly grabbed her hand gently, and studied the huge rock.
“Wow.” I gasped, the ring was beautiful. It was a large diamond circle, along the band were little diamonds encrusted. “He really does know how to pick a ring.” I chuckled.
“He is Harry Styles, right?” Mum laughed.
“I’m so happy for you both.” I smiled.
“I’m so happy, that you’re happy Darcy.” She smiled.
“I love you so much.” I said and hugged her.
“I love you too Darcy, very very much.” She smiled. “Now, I heard what happened out there…” She suddenly blurted out, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Oh Jesus, now you too?” I asked embarrassingly, I could tell I was blushing red.
“Your Dad.”She admitted nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. I let out a huge sigh.
“That snoop.” I chuckled.
“Now Darcy tell me, what’s his name?” She asked.
“Ryan…” I smiled, my eyes darting to the side. I felt my heart flutter as I said his name.
“How old is he?” She asked.
“Mum, all I know is that I practically ran into him while I was trying to go to the loo.” I admitted.
Mum laughed. “The klutz you are.” I laughed along with her.
“Does he have a relative here too?” She asked curiously.
“No, he actually works here…well he’s an intern.” I said.
“Impressive.” She said nodding her head.
-------------------------------------------------
I walked down the hall where Ryan and I basically bumped into each other, I felt a smile curve on my lips still thinking about him. He made me feel smitten. But the smile turned into a little frown, I haven’t seen his face at all today. Disappointment is now all I’m feeling.
--------------------------------------------------
I returned back to the waiting room to see Harry on the phone pacing back and forth across the place. “No- I don’t know.” He said, looking a bit frustrated. “I’ll try to make it.”
“Yes, I’ll bring Darcy… Okay, I love you too.” He said and hung up the phone. His eyes widened when he saw me, guess he didn’t really notice that I was here.
“Sorry, bout that…how’s your Mum?” He asked, trying to change the subject.
“Mum’s fine.” I smiled, feeling curious.
“Listen, I know as much as I don’t want to leave your Mum alone, neither do you also, I was wondering if you’d like to come meet your Grandma and Grandpa.” He suddenly blurted out.
“My- Grandma and Grandpa?” I asked. He nodded. “Listen Darc, I know that I’ve basically made you missed out on everything for the past 17 years, but-“
“Okay I’ll go, but what if they don’t like me?” I asked.
“They’ll love you, I promise.”
This is SOOOOOOOO good! You are a true diamond in the rough. Can't wait to see what happens next.
7/7/15