Prodigal

~4.3~

“I’m going over to Jeffery’s.” I said to Dad that night as I left the house.

“Be safe, have fun.” Dad said back. “Be home by 10!”

Jeffery had invited me over because his parents were gone, and he wanted to fool around.

It was confusing. In a way, I wanted to fool around, but in a way I don’t. I still think I’m asexual. Sometimes I think if I had a completely female body, I’d be more apt to want to fool around.

Like, he can grab my boobs, but they’re just stuffed bras. He’s grabbing nothing. And I certainly wouldn’t want him to take it off. And it’s not like I have vagina for him to finger like a lot of fifteen year old boys are doing.

Why would he even want to do anything with me if he’s straight? How would I in any way turn on a straight boy?

But of course if I ask him that, I just hear him say “I don’t think of you as a boy.”

Well, neither do I, but I do still recognize the fact that my body is primarily male since I’ve been on testosterone blockers for a few weeks but haven’t been on estrogen yet.

Once I got over to Jeffery’s place, we turned on a movie, and we cuddled for a bit, then he went into the kissing.

Even though it was fun kissing him, I almost sort of dreaded it.

We were kissing for a while, then he leaned on top of me and was grabbing my bra. He was just grabbing a bunch of padding.

I started rubbing my legs against his butt, and it was a really nice butt! However, I wouldn’t get too handsy because I didn’t want him getting too handsy with me.

Then, I started feeling myself get actually turned on. I felt, an…erection happening.

Knowing that that’s the last thing I’d want him to feel on me, I popped up from underneath him and off the couch we were on to stand up, and tried to make sure it wasn’t showing when I was standing up.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” I said right before storming out of his house.”

Notes

This is where this arc starts to get very raw and unfiltered.