Prodigal

~10~

I walked out of my room to see Dad standing right outside the door. “Dad, were you listening to my conversation?”

“No.” Dad muttered back, obviously lying.

“I’m ready to talk to you about…what you brought up in my room.”

“Okay, great.” Dad responded, clearly happy that I trusted him to talk about this. We sat down on the couch in the living room.

“I’m asexual.” I blurted out.

“Okay.” Dad responded right away. “What does…what does that mean?”

“It means I don’t want to have sex. Like at all. The thought of it alone disgusts me.”

“Okay…” Dad said, not knowing how to process this information. “So…you don’t find anyone attractive?”

“No, I do find people attractive.” I clarified. “But I wouldn’t want to have sex with them. I find people attractive enough to hold hands or maybe, maybe, kiss, but for sure I would never ever have sex.”

“So…” Dad said, seriously confused. “Would you want to kiss girls or boys?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I said. “It just depends on who I think is cute. I think both are cute.”

“So you’re bisexual?”

“No.” I said. “I’m asexual. I would never want to have sex, ever.”

“Really?” Dad asked, astounded.

“Why is that so hard to comprehend?” I asked.

“Because everyone wants to have sex.” Dad said.

“Not me.” I said.

“You know what, you’re young, you’re still working this out. You’re probably just not ready. You’ll feel different in two or three years.”

That comment really made me angry. “Why are you sweeping this under the rug?”

“I’m not, I’m just saying,”

“You said I could talk to you and that you would accept me and when I did talk to you you just said that I was wrong and that I’m what you think I am.”

Dad didn’t say anything for a minute. “Okay, I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t accept you. I do. And I did mean it when I said we can talk anytime.”

“Good, because I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

“I’m going to end up alone. Who is going to want to date or marry someone they’ll never have sex with? No one. I’ll be alone forever.”

“That’s not true.” He said. “And don’t get mad at me, but like I said, you never know how you’ll feel in two years.”

Notes

K so the reason I wrote this is because I emotionally metabolize my own life experiences (aka my coming out) by putting fictional characters I create and control in similar situations and I wanted to do that here but it didn't work because I like to think that homophobia will be basically gone by 2032 (we can hope right) so I had to take it at a different angle and that's why this gets so raw

K so something kinda big happens next chapter and chapter after that (12) you'll see the other 5sos boys and Luek gets SAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSY