Pretty Girls Hide Pain So Deep Inside

She knew there was nothing she could possibly do to repay Ashton for everything he has done for her.

She walked back upstairs to her old bedroom with Ashton by her side.

For some reason, she felt strange being there again. The last time she was in this aprtment was before they all went on tour, which was months ago. A lot has changed since then. She used to consider that place her home, but now it felt just like any other apartment. She was the only one to blame for that though. She was the one that broke apart their family, on more than one occasion. Her heart ached every time she realized what she had done. She wanted to change that and fix things, but she didn't know how.

She put down her duffel bag on the floor of her old room. She didn't bother unpacking.

Suddenly, she remembered all the memories her and Calum have in that place. Not just her room, but the entire apartment. Like the music room, where they sang together and when he heard her sing for the first time. She could still feel his breath caressing her neck like it was yesterday.

She was completely and utterly torn. Calum was the one that made her happy like no other, but then Luke happened. What started out as a shy, innocent kiss soon turned into sneaking out in the middle of the night, making out backstage while no one's looking, thinking of excuses to leave the room so they can meet up.

Looking back on it now, it feels like she was in a trance. She was so blinded and hypnotized by lust, or love if you are to believe her words, that she never for one second stopped to think what kind of consequences her actions will have.

- Okay, well, I'll let you be... - Hope cut Ashton off.

- Wait. Can you just stay with me? - She asked him quietly. - Please.

- Yeah, of course. - He asnwered with a slight smile on his face. - Always.

She took a seat on the bed, her back leaned against the headboard. Ashton was about to do the same, until he stopped walking all of a sudden.

- I'll be right back. - He told her as he left the room.

No more than five minutes later, Ashton returned with a bottle of vodka in his hand.

He took a seat next to her on the bed.

- It's been a long day. - He breathed out as he opened the bottle and took a long sip.

After his lips and the bottle finally parted, he offered it to her. She took it without any hesitation. Maybe some alcohol is exactly what she needs in order to get her mind off of things.

- How long have Calum and Nikki been together? - Hope asked him quietly, her head leaned back.

Ashton was caught off guard by her question.

- Not long. - He said quietly. - He, um, he slept with her after leaving the hospital...

He knew this would hurt her. He knew she still cared about Calum.

- She wouldn't stop calling him until he got her a ticket to fly out here. - He added. - He doesn't care about her. He's just trying to fill the hole, I guess.

Tears started gathering in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them escape. Not again.

- You on the other hand... - He began quietly, his eyes piercing through her. - I can't figure out.

She finally looked at him.

- Maybe it's better that way. - It was all she said.

They didn't talk much after that, at least not about anything important.

Once Hope was asleep, Ashton left a soft kiss at the top of her head before leaving the room and letting her rest.

He didn't know what to think, about her, or anything really. The only thing he knew for certain was that he couldn't leave her and that he couldn't let her leave either.

Notes

I know this chapter isn't that long either, but I hope you liked it nonetheless.

Thank you guys so much for reading.

If you're interested in reading more of my stories, check out my Instagram: @5sos_dot_com.

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