"Tell me what do you want now?"

---

I'm quiet but my eyes flicker to his lips.
Apparently my eyes are asking the question that my mouth doesn't dare to speak. He leans in and kisses me softly. When he wants to pull back, I wrap my arms around his neck. I don't want him to let go.
He lifts me up without breaking the kiss. He opens his eyes to check if there's no one and then quickly carries me to his room. He throws me on the bed and jumps on top of me. He kisses me hungry before pulling back.
He looks at me and then shakes his head.
"We can't." He says while he gets off me.
I lay there for a second before getting up to. He stands with his back to me.
"I'm sorry Sierra. I lost it for a moment, but I have a girlfriend. I can't, we can't."
"No, I get it. It's okay." I put on the fake smile that I practiced for years.
"I still want you to help me. I mean, if you want that too of course."
I nod my head.
"Friends than?" He smiles.
"Friends." I smile back.

"So, do you want something to drink? Maybe it's nice to catch up." He shrugs.
"Uhh, yeah." I say while I walk out of his room, down the stairs and into the living room.
He follows me and goes to the kitchen.
"Here. Your water was still standing there." He points to the kitchen.
"Thanks."
"So, what's Sierra been doing these years?"
"I already told you, I'm running a magazine."
"And besides that?"
I think.
"I have a dog."
"A dog? Some plus points for Calum."
I smile.
"Which breed?"
"German Shepherd." I answer.
"So, it's a big one?"
"HmHm."
"Name?"
"Douglas."
I take another sip before putting it on the table.
"So tell me, what's Ashton Irwin been doing while I'm not around."
"Uhh, well, mainly drumming." He chuckles.
"And?"
"Writing albums."
"Duh, you're in a band. But I mean, what do you do for fun?"
"For fun?"
"Yeah."
"I dunno. Mostly I'm sleeping when I'm having some time off. And when I'm not sleeping and I have a few days off, I'm mostly checking out the cities."
"And when you're just Ashton?"
"Just Ashton?"
"When you're not on tour?"
"Well, I try to spend as much time with family as possible.."
I nod my head knowing that that was all he does. I wouldn't get any further. He didn't have time off like he used to. Duh Sierra, most of the time he's touring.
We're quiet for a moment until we hear some noises. I give Ashton a questioning look but he shrugs.
I decide to let it fall. We're quiet again. I don't know what to say anymore. I have some questions, but I'm afraid that I'll get too close.
Suddenly Ashton begins to giggle.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing." He says while he almost falls on the ground.
"Tell meeeee." I pout.
"It's just that we didn't see each other in 5 years and we don't have anything to talk about."
I think and after that I begin to chuckle too. That's actually pretty awkward.


"Okay okay, but still, there needs to be something to do." I say when I'm calm.
"Uhh, well, we could go to the forest?"
"And?"
"Get an ice cream or so. I dunno."
"Ice cream." I smile.
"C'mon."
We walk out of the door, to the forest. I don't know where he takes me until I see it.
"Ashton, maybe this isn't a good idea."
"C'mon."
"Ashton, you said it yourself that you didn't want to bring any memories. Then don't."
He sighs.
"I'm sorry. I thought it was a good idea, but standing here now makes it different."
"You don't need to be sorry. I just thought that you didn't want to."
"I do want to be here."
I think. Then I nod to the tree.
"Climb in than."
He smiles and climbs up. Then he holds out his hand. I hesitate and he chuckles.
"Still afraid?" He asks.
I nod my head before laying my hand in his.
"You shouldn't be. I'm here." He says while he pulls me up.
I sit with my back against his chest.
"Isn't this crazy?" He asks while wipes some hair away from my shoulder and lays his head on my shoulder.
"What?" I turn my head a little.
"5 years ago we sat here as a couple, now we're sitting here as friends."
"Yeah.."
"Is it something you regret?"
"What?"
"Being my girlfriend."
"No, I learned a lot.."
"Like not to trust me again?"
"What? No!" I turn around to him but his expression is death serious.
"Ashton, I do trust you."
"You do?"
"If I didn't I wouldn't be here." I giggle.
He smiles and I lay my head against his shoulder.
"Do friends even do this?" I chuckle.
"We do."
I nod my head and close my eyes.


-Ashton's POV-

I see how she slowly falls asleep and after a few minutes I hear her steady breath. I smile and kiss her on top of her head. At least I have her back. Not like I imagined, but she's in my life again. That's what matters right now.

I sit there for hours with her in my arms. Only this wants to make me stop cutting myself. No, this is enough to make me stop.
I sigh. Sad reality comes to me. I can't. I have a girlfriend.
I calm myself with the thought that Sierra will be around for a while.


It's slowly getting dark but Sierra's still asleep. I don't wanna wake her, but I guess she needs to go home too.
"Sierra." I whisper in her ear.
She groans and tries to turn around.
"what?" She mumbles as she opens her eyes.
"It's getting dark."
"So?"
"Don't we need to go back?"
"I don't wanna."
"Me neither.." I say carefully.
"Let's stay here."
"And what? Sleep in this tree?"
She nods her head.
"I laid pretty comfy."
"Sierra, don't be so unrealistic, who needs to feed your dog?"
"I have someone at home who can care for him."
"Someone?"
I feel insecure again.
"Yes, someone I work with sometimes."
I nod my head.
"I still think we need to go back."
"Go. I'm staying here."
"I'm not leaving you here alone."
"I'm a big girl. I can handle myself."
"No, you can't."
"I can." She wants to turn around to face me but almost falls out of the tree. I grab her and pull her back.
"You see? You need me." I smirk.
She sighs.
"Please Ashton?" She asks.
"No."
"Pleeaaasse?" She pouts.
"No.."
She sighs and thinks. Then she smirks and moves her lips to my neck.
"What do you think you're doing?" I ask.
"Please?" She says softly while the air blows around my neck.
"Sierra.." I whisper while I try to push her away, but my hands seem to have other plans and put themselves on her waist. I close my eyes.
"Ashton.." She whines a little.
"You're no help today." I say to her.
"No?" She asks innocently.
Her lips are only millimetres from my neck until they finally touch my neck.
"Sierra, we can't." I know my voice sounded weak.
"I know. But we can stay here, right?" Without thinking I nod my head and hear her laugh.
"This is too easy." She giggles.
I open my eyes and realise what just happened. She tricked me. I sigh and she cuddles up to me again.
"You're awful." I whisper.
"I know." She replies while she closes her eyes.



~the next morning~

I wake up with Sierra still in my arms. I smile and pet her on her head. I look at my watch and see that it's 10a.m. I look at Sierra and wonder if she had any appointments today. It's Sunday, but I don't know if she has weekends off.
"Sierra." I whisper, but she doesn't wake up.
"Sierra?!" I say louder.
"What?!" She sits straight immediately.
"Nothing." I smile.
She groans and buries her head in my chest.
"You're awful." She muffles.
"I know." I smirk.
"What time is it?"
"10."
"Wanna go back?"
I shake my head.
"Me neither." She smirks.
"Maybe it's better if we do tho. We don't want them to worry about us."
She nods her head.


I climb off the tree and help her down too.
"C'mon." I take her hand and we walk home.
I see some cameras on our way, but ignore them as much as I can.
"Don't you get crazy of this?" She asks after a while.
"What?"
"The cameras and people around you every time you go outside."
"You'll get used to it."
"Me?"
Ow god, why did I say that?
"Uhh, yeah, I mean, I thought you stay my friend afterwards."
"Of course." She says.


-Sierra's POV-

Suddenly I hear all those people asking questions.
"Ashton?"
"Yeah?"
"Do I need to answer those?"
"You don't if you don't want to."
"But what if they see me as your girlfriend?"
"Just leave it."
I nod my head and we're quiet.
"Are you alright?" He asks after a while.
"I'm fine." I smile.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"You're not comfortable."
"I'm just not used to all those cameras pointed at me."
"Could you get used to it? As in ever?"
"Yeah, I think I could."
I smile into some cameras and wave to some people.
"Sierra, you don't need to do that." Ashton says out loud.
"It's called being polite, You should try it sometime."
He chuckles.

At the end the people left and he opens the front door of his house. We walk in and I see Hunter running to us.
"Where were you? You got me worried sick!" She says dramatically while she hugs him.
He hugs her back and calms her.
"It's okay. I'm here now." He whispers.
She lets go of him to kiss him and I stand there awkwardly. I decide to go and walk to the kitchen to grab my jacket.
I walk out of the door, don't even bother to say goodbye.
I don't know, but it feels like I'm hurt. I shake the feeling off. I just need to get used to seeing him with someone else.

I walk until I feel a hand on my arm. I turn around and Ashton stands behind me, catching his breath.
"Why did you leave?" He asks.
"Well, I thought that maybe it was better if I gave you some privacy.."
"But you didn't say goodbye."
"You were busy with Hunter."
"When are you coming again?"
"I don't know, I need to check my agenda first. I'll come whenever I have time."
"Do you even want to come?"
I didn't realise that I began to snap at him.
"I'm sorry Ashton, I'm just tired."
"It's okay, just come whenever you want to. It's not like I'm going somewhere." He smiles.
"Okay, well, uhh, bye." I wave a little and walk away.
"Bye."


When I'm home I sigh. I close the front door behind me and sit down onto the ground. I bury my face in my hands.
"Hey baby, what's wrong?..."

Notes

Hey Guys!!!


Me is back from vacation!!! And as promised, here is the chapter :).
Hope you all like this chapter (duh) and until next time.

oh and the update was a little later than expected, but it's still Sunday (23:00).

xx

D❤️❤️