"My brain is broken, and you don't have to have suicidal thoughts... I have to live this way..."
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I open my eyes to the sound of laughter, and sunlight peers into my eyes.

"Good morning sunshine! We got some food." Maria says, handing me a sub.

"Thanks..." I mumble, avoiding all contact with Michael. It's not that easy to just not have thoughts that nobody loves you, that nobody cares about your fat ass, and you should go kill yourself. You start to believe what people say about you. You start to see it in the mirror everyday... I know Michael's brain is broken, but my body and heart are both broken. There's nothing to fix us...

"Mads, are you okay?" Michael looked at me, a lingering pain in his eyes. Mads... Glossy tears coat my eyes, making everything blurry. Mads... I quickly get up, running down through the woods, sobbing. Mads... I scratch my wrists, an eternal itch bothering me, as I strained my neck. I sit down on the grass, resting my back onto a tree, crying into my hands. Mads... Why Mads? "Madisyn... What's wrong?" Michael caught up to me, out of breath. "Tell me."

"Mads... My-my dad used to call me that... When I was little, I was always mad at my mom. and my dad would call my Mads to cheer me up. It worked... Then his last day in the hospital..." I cry, words shaky and unstable.

"Madisyn, you don't have to tell me this..."

"No I want to..." I take a shaky breath, as he nods. "Then his last day in the hospital, he brought me close. He was too quiet... Barely audible. His voice was... dead. He said, 'Be happy for me. Don't ever give up. I love you Mads.' Then the monitor said his heart stopped, and a beep... His last word was Mads... I-I... He was my only thing Michael. Mads is like my happy word... It's my favorite thing ever." He doesn't say anything, just wipes the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs, and kisses my nose, making me scrunch my face up. Michael wraps his arms around me.

"Hey, Madisyn. Look at me." He says, with a gentle grip on my hands. I look up into his shocking bright green eyes. "Madisyn, you're the best person I've ever met. I remember the first time I saw you. I wanted to get to know you. And when you started talking to me, it was the happiest day of my life. And thank you for that. Look where we are. We stole the Doctor's car, smoked her weed, we're going to New Orleans, and I'll but some fake ID's" He smiles.

"You haven't had any tics this morning." I smile widely.

"I don't tic a lot when I'm around people I love and people who make my happy. He gently pressed his lips to mine. We walked back to the van.

"Guys, we gotta get going. Long way to New Orleans. I call driving." Maria smiles, getting in the driver's seat. She didn't buy a sub... I sigh. I take a deep breath.

"Who wants to do some crazy shit?" I smirk, biting my lip.

Notes

Filler... EW!