Incidental

The morning accounts for no awkward encounters granting me much relief. I change clothes and zip out of the apartment early stopping by the Coffee House for a morning pep talk in the form of a double espresso.

"You know that's not good for you, right?" Mr. Watson chuckles.
"Yes, but I need to survive your final today." I joke.
"Oh you will be fine Ms. Smith, I have much confidence that you will succeed with this final." "At least that makes one of us."
He laughs. "Have some faith."
"You're right. See you at 10!"
"You betcha!"

I sit down at a corner table, enjoying my coffee while looking over my notes. I sigh deeply knowing the minute I walk into Watson's class my mind will blank. A shriek of laughter erupts from a group of underclassmen giving me an excuse to leave.

I nervously await my final exam as I find my seat at the top tier in Watson's class. The test is handed out and I freeze. I start reading over the questions and instantly all the answers start flooding my mind. I smile creepily at my desk before diving into the exam with a positive attitude.

An hour later and I'm done.
Done fretting, done worrying, done with Watson's class.
I walk through campus enjoying the bright sun before Blair scares me half to death.

"How'd the history exam go, babe?"
I compose myself, taking a deep breath. "I think I passed it."
"Awesome! Told ya not to sweat it."
"Yeah." I smile. "Think I'm going to head home and an enjoy some vodka."

Or a lot.

After parting ways with Blair, I immediately headed back to the apartment and grabbed whatever alcohol we had in the cabinets. I sat myself on the couch, threw on a good movie, and cheers to the fact that I managed to make it through my junior year in college.

After my fifth glass of vodka, I decided I didn't want to be in the bathroom all night again and put the bottle down. With Ocean's 13 playing on the screen in front of me, I was a content little girl.

"Sam!" Blair sings, busting through the door. "Oh there you are!"
"Yes." I hiccup. "Here I am."
Harry follows closely Blair, not saying a word as I lazily watch on.
"What's wrong?" Blair asks, sitting next to me.
"She is drunk." Harry quickly answers.
"Fuck off." I spit. "I'm not drunk, I'm content."
"Ok, well uh if you need anything--"
"Save your breath, Blair." Harry interrupts, urging her up. "She wouldn't take it anyway, now come on."

Blair looks back at me, mouthing 'sorry' before heading off to Harry's room. I conveniently grab the bottle off the coffee table and take another swig of the burning liquid. I let the bottle slip from hand and lay down on the couch mindlessly laughing at the television before me.

Hours later and I'm being awake by the subtle shake of my shoulder.

"Stop." I groan.
"Come on, Sam." Harry sighs.
I mumble something incoherent before feeling my body lifted off the couch. Moments later, my back hits the bed and I fade to black once more.

I awake in a panic state instantly regretting the decision to sit up so fast. I steady myself on the bed before swinging my legs off and planting my feet upon the floor. I check the clock noting that it's nearly midnight. I press my fingers to my temple trying to ease the throbbing as I head out of my room and to the kitchen. The living room is lit by the illumination of the television as I make a mental note to turn it off after I get aspirin.

Glass, water, pills, done.
I shuffle across the floor hitting the carpet at turtle speed. I round the couch and immediately regret my decision.

"Jesus! SHIT! Sam!" Harry roars, covering himself.
"How was I suppose to know you were out here. I didn't see any heads but now I know why because you were getting it."
Blair gives me a glare, before daintily wiping her mouth.
"Can you just go back to bed!" He continues.
"Yes! Jesus Christ, sorry! Didn't know I couldn't walk around my own apartment." I ramble walking away. "You have a fucking bedroom!" I final, slamming my door.

I groan at the loud noise before slowly changing into bed attire. I slip under the covers and stare up at the ceiling. I listen as the door open and closes to the apartment before Harry's heavy patented footsteps come down the hall.
"Looks like I ruined someone's night." I giggle to myself.
Another door slams for what seems like the 100th time tonight letting me know of his displeasure. I don't really know when this saltiness got out of hand but I know it can't be healthy for us and I felt determined to fix it. I slip out of bed and venture across the hallway. I knock lightly on Harry's door and wait for a reply.

"What?" He says swinging the door open. I notice a bag hung over his shoulder and jacket in his hand.
"Where...where are you going?"
"To Blair's, now what did you need?" He speaks coldly.
"I, uh..." I'm fumbling and I can tell he's getting annoyed. I sigh. "It doesn't matter now, does it?"
"Probably not." He retorts pushing past me. "Goodnight."

I watch him leave, not moving from the spot he left me. I look into his room which has become so foreign to me, willing myself to move forward. I walk in, inspecting every inch and picking up any clothing article left on the floor. The bed is partially made, sheets inviting me in. I surprise myself by crawling in, engulfing myself with Harry's scent and warmth. A calming feeling rushes over me, a common feeling I used to have with Cade. I push every negative thought out of my head and let my eyelids drift shut. This time, I fall asleep with the comfort of H surrounding me even though he wasn't there.

Last day of classes and I'm rushing to avoid Blair and Harry.

"Sam!"
I sigh. "Hey Blair."
"Hey, I just wanted to apologize about the other night. It so wasn't cool."
I shrug. "It's no big deal."
"Actually it is. I was disrespectful."
"I highly doubt it was you." I side eye her.
"Hey." She stops me from my hurried pace. "Is everything ok?"
I sigh deeply. "I'm just having trouble. I still haven't accepted the fact that Cade is gone."

And Harry.

She hugs me tightly, rubbing my back. "I wish I could take the pain from you."
"It's no one's burden to handle. I just suck at grieving."
"Everyone grieves differently. Hey!" She interjects. "Harry and I are going on a small vacation next weekend, you should come along."
"No thanks. I don't want to third wheel it."
"Awe come on, Sam! It could be just us three as friends?" She sing talks.
I sigh. "I'll think about it."
"Yay! Oh shit. I'm late, gotta run! Catch ya later."
"See ya."

There was absolutely no way I was going on that vacation and be miserable the entire time. And watch someone who I've grown close too fancy another girl.


"Road trip!" Blair squeaks, hugging me. "Do you have everything?"
"I think so." I reply, staring down at my two over night bags.
"Here, I'll take those." Harry mumbles taking my bags.
"Thanks. Whose car?" I ask.
"It's my Mom's, figured we could use more space."
I nod.
"Alright! Let's get going! First rest stop is 2 hours out!"

I hop into the back of the bar and make myself comfortable with a bottle of water and phone in hand. The drive is long but Blair's constant ramble and horrible singing makes it barely as we make it in late.

"Here!" Blair sings, hopping out of the car.
I get out and stop dead. The beach houses in front of me mimic that of Cade's Uncle's and I'm positive we may even be on the same street.

"Aren't you excited!" Blair continues.
"What? Oh yeah. It looks beautiful." I smile, meeting her and Harry at the back of the car. I grab my things and follow the two of them into the house. I thank god the layout is different and decide to stake claim on the bedroom on the first floor. I sit down on the bed and stare down into my hands. I can't blame Blair, she didn't know but I can't help but to be flooded by the memories Cade and I shared here just months ago.

"Hey." Harry says sharply. "Blair and I are going to hit up the grocery store. Staying or coming?"
"I'll stay."
He nods and leaves the room quickly.

I sigh deeply, falling back on the bed. I make a pact with myself and decide I'm going to enjoy this vacation rather than let my grief and Harry get me down.

Notes