*Hazel’s POV*

Today was Sunday, the day of my mother’s funeral. Everything was planned out by the boys and Pandora. I was thankful of them for doing so. I wasn’t sure I had the strength nor heart to do it. Everyone was that has stayed for the past week would be leaving today to go back home. It was understandable. Tomorrow was Monday, the day they would head back to work. Time of mourning would have to take a pause as they went back to their normal lives. It was actually pretty sad really. I hated how one could just move on even though one knew a relative died. I just hated it.

I was riding in the SUV Liam was driving. Zayn and Louis rode along in the back seat. Pandora was right behind us, Niall and Harry riding with her. We pulled up in front of the other line of cars behind the funeral home. A man came over, putting the little orange funeral flats on the cars. I stepped out of the truck and Liam was right there beside me. He placed a hand on a small part of my back, ready to lead me inside to meet up with other family members that were already here.

“Boyfriend?” The man that placed the flag asked as he neared me and Liam. I could see the boys and Pandora a little off to the side, giving each other looks.

Liam answered with a small smile, dismissing the little misunderstanding. “No, sir. Just a close friend.”

The man’s mouth gaped open a little in understanding. “Yes, my apologies. Why don’t you come in? Your family is waiting for you.”

I nodded and he led the way. Pandora, Niall, and Harry walked first, leading the way behind the man as Liam stayed beside me as we walked behind them. Louis and Zayn stayed walking behind us. The formation we were in made me feel a little relieved. I’ve never really been close to the family on my mother’s nor father’s side. The family staying the past week was the longest I was ever with them. We were able to talk, sometimes about my mother, but otherwise about life in general. I guess that was what death did to you. It made you question your own life, their life, what the whole purpose for it was.

I took a deep breath as the man opened the double doors leading into the showing room. It felt like a movie in slow motion. The man stepped aside with the doors. Pandora, Niall, and Harry lead the way in the aisle between the bleachers. Heads turned from ahead, seeing how the daughter of the deceased has made it. They all seemed to split apart, allowing room to walk straight to the baby blue casket that lied ahead. Liam grabbed my hand, giving it a tight squeeze as we continued forward. We moved to the front of the crowd and the three in the front moved to the left, allowing Liam to come stand beside them. Zayn came to stand beside me, Louis stopping beside him.

My eyes, this whole time was on the casket, but something caught my eye. I gasped, seeing the display around it. Behind the casket was a billboard wall, tacked on were photos and drawings – my handmade drawings – of times from whenever I was small up until now. There was a white fence that went up into the air and over the casket, covered in flowers. Juniper flowers at that. They were my mother’s favorite type of flowers. Liam’s hand tightened around my own. I looked up at Zayn. “You guys…”

I could see the sad expression on his face as he offered a small smile. He reached out with one arm and we hugged. “Thank you. She would love this.”

He kissed the side of my head. We pulled apart and I looked over at Louis beside him. He had both of his hands in front of him, Zayn looked along with me, taking up the same position. I heard him sniff some as he could do nothing but offer a small, toothy smile. That was the thing about Louis, his smile always held the magic of making someone feel better about themselves. I looked to my left, seeing Niall and Harry in this exact same position. Hands together in front of them and legs slightly placed apart. I could tell Niall was trying not to cry and Pandora had her face buried on his shoulder. Harry had free-running tears down his face.

I didn’t know why I wasn’t crying yet. I took a deep breath, looking up at Liam who was staring down at me. I was letting him know I was ready. We slowly let go of each other hands and he takes up the same position as his lads, trying to keep himself calm. I swallowed, staring at the beautiful casket and scenery as I stepped forward. My eyes traveled over the pictures and photos displayed on the wall, letting myself remember this moment. Yes, the memory was making an imprint in my mind. I reached out and touched the casket, its smooth surface cold to the touch.

My eyes left the billboard and slowly came down to see the woman I grew up loving in the casket. Now the tears were starting to well up, not because of my mother being in this casket and was gone, soul moving on, but because I knew this would be the last time I would ever see her face. She was so beautiful. No matter what kind of mistakes she’s made in life, she was perfect. I didn’t even care about the times we couldn’t spent together. I cherished ever moment we had. She was a strong woman, and that was how she lived out to be.

I reached into the casket, my hand resting on top of her cold one. “I promise I will become the daughter you always wanted me to be.” I whispered, so only I could hear. I closed my eyes, letting a tear fall down my cheek. “No matter what, I will make myself remember everything. And I won’t blame you. I will come to understand why you didn’t want to tell me. No matter how much pain I am in now, I want you to be happy with Dad, wherever you two may be. I’ll see you soon, hopefully later though. I know you want me to live a life longer than your own.”

I opened my eyes, letting out a small breath. I brought my hand away from my mother’s cold one. There would never be a closure for losing my mother the way I did, but I knew I would be able to live forward and create a future. She wouldn’t be able to fill in the memories of the future, but I knew she would be watching, along with my father. I took a step back from the casket and I was met with a pair of arms that belonged to Pandora. She sobbed into my neck and my arms wrapped around her waist. The five boys came around, each of them crowding around to get into a tight group hug.

With my mother and father gone, I thought I was alone. In a way, I was, I mean, my parents were gone, and that was going to be a void in my heart I knew would be unbearable. In another way, I knew I wasn’t alone. I had Pandora. I had Liam. I had these boys that were my closest friends. Without them here, I would never be able to make it to this casket on my own without breaking down. I was crying now, some of the tears for my mother, but for another of my friends being here. Without them, I was nothing. With them, I knew I could press on with life.
This wasn’t the end of everything.

My mother only had one brother, so it was he and the other five boys, Niall, Liam, Harry, Zayn, and Louis that went to the casket and helped carry it out to the hearse. The showing was over, now it was time for the actual burial. Everybody got into their cars, ready to drive off to the burial site. I climbed into the passenger side of the SUV, the boys coming in next and filling up their spots. Liam was first to drive off, leading the line of cars behind a few police cars that got us through traffic.

My tears seem to just quickly fall from there. The preacher said his words and from there, they lowered her into the ground. I would never see her in this life again. I’d never have an adult I could depend, because she was gone. Gone forever, and now I had to depend on myself from now on. Some people stayed around after the funeral, others just left. I sat in the chair, staring as they started to get the equipment to put dirt into the hole.

I caught myself staring at the headstone. Both of my father’s and mother’s name were on it. Until the end, they stayed together. Such young lives were taken away, only to leave a helpless daughter on her own. An arm locked in with my own, another going around my shoulder. I felt Pandora rest her head on my shoulder. I looked over, seeing the five boys making a line beside me. The memory of the showing came to mind. “Thank you, guys.” I said to them. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

I saw their line of heads come forward. It was weird how in sync these boys could be. A small smile came to my lips. I wasn’t completely helpless. I got Pandora. I got all of these boys. I had friends. It would be enough for now to get my past this.

Yes, for now, this would be enough.