Lucy's P.O.V

The funny thing about going clubbing with Cara is that you always end up with hundreds of new friends. This evening Cara was throwing her own house party, it was only 10pm but I was already drunk as a skunk. After my talk with Harry on the phone I told him that I wouldn't drink for a while, just take a break with the whole partying-thing. But the thing is I'm only doing it to fit in, the people we hang out with literally don't talk to you if you're not drinking. In their eyes you're a boring person. And with my little body I guess I'm a light weighter, I get drunk on so little alcohol. A normal person might get drunk on like five beers while I'm more than tipsy after one. So here I am, again breaking my promise to Harry. But at least I'm having fun. ''There you are, darling. We're doing shots in the kitchen, come on'' Cara grabbed my arm and dragged me out to the kitchen. After one, okay maybe three, shots of vodka I had lost all control. I did no longer control my body. I tried to hold on to the walls as headed for Cara's bathroom. I got inside and locked the door behind me. I need to sober up. Water. I need water. I looked around for a glass or something I could drink from, not finding anything except for that gross thing you put your toothbrush in. I grabbed the cup and tried to clean it a bit before filling it with water and gulping it down. Of all the disgusting things I've done in my life this would take the price. The room was spinning and I had to lay down on the floor and close my eyes. Okay Lucy, breathe. Breathe. How am I getting home like this? I'm just not sobering up. Wonderful since non of my friends are in the fucking country at the moment. Except for... Eleanor. Yes, Eleanor was in town. I pulled up my phone from my skinny jeans but I could barely see the screen.
I woke up hours later with the hardest pounding in my head, not really sure of where I was. Still at Cara's. Wow, I never made it home. I most have blacked out before I made the call.

'Stepping on the cracks in the pavement, another night of being wasted', I pop my eyes open. Why am I alone on the subway? Oh god I must have fallen asleep, funny because I don't even remember taking the subway home. I reached in my pocket for my phone but it's not there. Feeling the panic rise I stand up looking through my pockets. No phone. No wallet. No keys. Did I get robbed? The subway stopped at Oxford Circus and I quickly got off. Okay Lucy, think. How do I get home and how do I even open the door to my flat without keys? I don't have my phone so I can't call anyone and it's too far to walk from here to Cara's place. Maybe I can go to IMG's head office and borrow a phone there? Yeah, I can totally walk there from here. Shit, Lucy you really screwed up this time. This alcohol thing needs to stop. Right now.


''Lucy have you any idea how worried we've been? You have been M.I.A for three days'' Harry yelled at me from across the world, I think he was in Australia now, I don't really know. ''I'm sorry I...I kind of got robbed..I think. I was sleeping at the subway and when I woke up everything was gone'' he gasped ''you got robbed? are you okay?'' ''yeah I'm alright, I've got a new phone now and I changed the locks to my flat. Everything is fine''. He let out a sigh of relief ''thank god, wait why were you even sleeping on the subway?'' ''uhm..I..'' he cut me off ''were you drunk?'' ''that doesn't even sound like a question, Harry. It feels like you're already judging me'' I stated ''well were you drunk?'' I sighed ''yes, but it's the last time. I swear, I can see how bad it looks but I have control over this. I'm not going to drink anymore, at least not for a while'' I promised.

Another night of being a model, but this time was different. I wasn't drunk, in fact I haven't been drinking at all tonight. Tonight we were at some night club in a weird part of town and I had already lost Cara. ''Hi, Lucy right?'' I turned around to see a girl I recognized from my evenings out, I think her name was Makenna ''hi'' I greeted her with a smile. ''You look a little lost, come sit at our table'' I joined her back to her table and declined a shot ''are you having fun? It doesn't look like you're having fun?'' she stated and grabbed a phone from the table ''I'm having fun'' I said as I looked down on the phone and saw a white powder. She noticed I was staring and let out a giggle ''you want some, honey?'' no not at all ''no, I'm good. Thank you'' I smiled ''oh come on, it's not that bad if you do it once in a while'' okay she was the second person that has told me that, maybe it isn't so bad after all? No Lucy. You are not taking that. But I mean, I'm not drinking tonight. How bad can it be? ''yeah okay, fine'' I said and she smirked at me giving me the phone and a rolled up pound. I stared down at the line, took a deep breath and placed the pound in front of my nose. And then I just sniffed it all in. Wow, I wrinkled my nose. ''Now you're a real model'' Makenna laughed as she clapped her hands.

Can people react bad from drugs? I thought this was going to make me happy and alert but I have never felt this kind of anxiety I feel now. It's like every person in this rooms sadness just came all over me. I feel weird, I don't feel good at all. I need to get out of here, oh god am I having a panic attack? I felt my heart raise and I suddenly got short of breath. I rushed out of the club and took up my phone, I needed to call the only person who could calm me. Harry. I barely saw the screen when I pressed dial and got surprised to who was answering. Of course I had pressed on the wrong number. ''Lucy? It's like two in the morning in London, is everything okay?'' Tess asked, ''Tess? Something is going on, I..I can't explain...I'm feeling this weird feeling it's like I'm having a panic attack or something'' I spoke frantically ''Lucy, calm down. What is going on? Are you drunk? she sounded worried ''no, I took something...I didn't mean to it just happened..please tell me what to do it feels like I'm dying'' I started t cry ''Lucy, what did you take? Was it drugs?'' she spoke calmly, too calm ''uhm cocaine..I think I don't know'' ''oh my god Lucy, how can you be so stupid?'' I didn't answer, I just cried louder ''okay, Lucy. I'm calling Tyler, he knows what to do''.

Notes

Lucy has really done it this time.

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