Come Here and Save Me.

Part 5

Samantha:

The anxiety was beginning to take over, crippling me from the inside out. I could feel my system cringing. This was only made worse by the prospect of having to see him. There was nothing in my mind that could be worse than having to turn to your abusive ex-boyfriend to provide you with your next fix. Your next installment of blissful nothingness that I received when I was under the hold of medication. I could function properly, think properly, I wasn’t crippled by the need to be gone. I felt like I was more in control. I had a sense of freedom within my own body when I was floating in the ‘cloud’. It was all that I craved and more.

There was only one person that I genuinely cared for while I was under the influence of my cloud. Only one person I thought of helping; Chloe. I felt a need to protect her. Granted she was older than I am, but she’s my responsibility. And I know that she feels the same way about me.
As I walked down the deserted street towards his apartment I could feel my insides knotting. I was mentally reliving the pain he’d caused me, the pain I’d felt being with him. I could hear my mothers unforgiving voice in the back of my head; ‘He’ll kill you Samantha. And if he doesn’t then those fucking drugs will. You’re better than that, smarter than that. You’ve got your entire future ahead of you, Sammie. Please just stop. Get away while you still can.’

I remember the time I spent with him; I see it so vividly, even with the effects of the drugs on my mind I could see everything over again. Feel it all. Taste it again. Smell the aromas around me. Hear all his words.

And now standing in front of the door to his flat; it was like I was being choked. My hand was trembling as I raised it to the door. Knocked hard on the wood making my knuckles hurt. I listened carefully hearing the shuffling of his feet as he made his way to answer the door.

“Hello, Samantha.” His voice came out a near hiss. He placed his forearm on the door frame holding it just above his head. “It’s been so long.” The corners of his mouth upturned into a smile.

I could feel the bile creeping it’s way up my throat scorching my esophagus. “You’re right Marcus, it has…” He stepped aside allowing me into his apartment. As I moved past him I caught the familiar scent of the cologne he always wore.

The sound of the front door closing behind me made me slightly jump, my voice lost. I turned to him as if seeing him fully for the first time. He stood tall, his six foot one frame intimidating to my height of five foot four. He didn’t wear a shirt, only a pair of blue jeans that hung on his hips, and a pair of red boxers peeking out the top.

“Do you… Do you have them Marcus?” I sounded scared, weak to my own ears. He stepped closer to me and pulled a plastic bag from his pocket. I saw the blue pills through the bag, could feel my dry mouth begin to water for them.

I reached out hoping to snag the back. He pulled his arm back at once my hand falling back down to my side. “Not so fast Samantha.” He snapped shoving the bag back into the pocket of his jeans. “I believe I need your payment first.”

“Marcus.. Please.” I pleaded holding my hand out again my eyes beginning to water.

“Payment first.” His voice was hard, intimidating.

“Fine, payment first.” I lowered my eyes. “May I please have just one then? To help me? I’m too weak right now, I won’t be able to pay you properly without it.”

His blue eyes softened. He once again retrieved the bag from his pocket. He pulled out a single blue pill, sealed the bag again, and returned it to his pocket.

He held the pill between his index finger and his thumb, hiding it between their fleshy pads. I stepped closer to him and took his two fingers in my mouth using my tongue to pry the pill out between their grip. I eagerly swallowed it dry and then removed my mouth from his fingers.

“Now. Payment.” Marcus’ voice was seductive now, sweeter than it had been a few beats before.

I felt the last bit of dignity slip away as I sat down upon his bed removing my blouse.

~

I made haste to get dressed again, feeling sore and disgusting. Marcus was standing in front of me, I could feel his eyes on me as I clasped my bra.

“Here.” He muttered and stuffed the packet of pills into my bra just above the most sensitive part of my breast. “Call me when you need more.”

With the medication finally in my possession I felt relieved. “Of course.” I whispered and fixed my blouse before making a dash for the door. I heard Marcus call my name just as I was closing it between him and I. I was free again, away from him. For now.

I slid my cell phone from my pocket and checked the time on it’s bright screen 3:13 am; brilliant. I’d spent nearly an hour with him, and my wobbly legs were a reminder of the time.

By the time I finally walked into the flat Chloe and I share it was well after four am, and I was exhausted. I removed my clothes, took three of the pills from the packet; hid the packet in the small water proof box I kept in the back compartment of the toilet, and climbed into bed.

I sat underneath the covers holding my legs, and as I closed my eyes I could feel myself falling into the cloud welcoming it’s warm embrace.