Too Many Secrets
Chapter 19
I watched as Channing walked down the stairs, slowly. He wanted my fear to grow as he walked to me. My breathing picked up tremendously and I saw Charlotte and Sage look back and forth between us.
They hadn't known the fear I had towards him and the anger he had towards me. He finally reached the bottom of the stairs. My feet were glued to the floor in worry that he would snap on me with the slightest movement.
He threw his arm over my shoulder and kissed my cheek. I almost squirmed feeling his lips squish against my skin but decided against it. He smelled my neck, inhaling my scent.
Like a dog smelling his owner.
He did this every time I left the house. He felt as if I had another smell on me it was another man. That I was cheating on him was ridiculous.
Not ridiculous. You're a slut. Cheating on a good man with your sisters boyfriend.
My conscience always had a way of bringing down my self esteem. I seemed to believe my thoughts after a while. I heard those words too many times and I hated that one word.
Slut.
It infuriated me. I hated when people said that to me. I could hear the voices in the hallways of high school all over again. They taunted me. Made me want to believe in the rumors even I knew were lies.
I had zoned out but I could see the white wall in front of me. Everything brought back a bad memory. The white wall made me think of the time my teacher had first hit on me. I just needed more time to work on a simple project, but he gave me a one-hundred.
I gave him more than a stupid project.
The pink in Sage's hair. It reminded me of the pink skirt I had worn when the cutest boy on the football team asked me to help him after school.
But he really wanted a quick hook-up in the janitors closet before practice.
My shoulders were shaken quickly causing me to look at whoever was making contact with me. Charlotte had a look of worry on her face. She quickly hugged me.
"Are you okay?" Asked Sage.
I opened my eyes and saw her standing behind Charlotte -who still was hugging me- with her eyes full of worry.
I shook my head, dismissing her. "I'm fine."
Channing grabbed my hand after Charlotte let me go and kissed my knuckles. His pink lips felt awkward on my skin.
"Are you okay, baby? God, you scared me," he mumbled.
He hugged me close and kissed my hair. He grasped my face in his hands and kissed my nose. "I love you."
He closed his eyes and his forehead was pressed to mine. He brushed his lips against mine, gingerly.
"Don't ever scare me like that again. First, you runaway and then you weren't answering me... Are you sure you're okay?"
"I love you so much, baby. I swear. And I'm going to get better. I'm just really stressed out and... I am really sorry," he apologized.
"I know. I love you, too," I mumbled.
I know I shouldn't forgive him. But he apologized, right?
He loves me and I love him.
There is nothing that can change my mind about Channing.
They hadn't known the fear I had towards him and the anger he had towards me. He finally reached the bottom of the stairs. My feet were glued to the floor in worry that he would snap on me with the slightest movement.
He threw his arm over my shoulder and kissed my cheek. I almost squirmed feeling his lips squish against my skin but decided against it. He smelled my neck, inhaling my scent.
Like a dog smelling his owner.
He did this every time I left the house. He felt as if I had another smell on me it was another man. That I was cheating on him was ridiculous.
Not ridiculous. You're a slut. Cheating on a good man with your sisters boyfriend.
My conscience always had a way of bringing down my self esteem. I seemed to believe my thoughts after a while. I heard those words too many times and I hated that one word.
Slut.
It infuriated me. I hated when people said that to me. I could hear the voices in the hallways of high school all over again. They taunted me. Made me want to believe in the rumors even I knew were lies.
I had zoned out but I could see the white wall in front of me. Everything brought back a bad memory. The white wall made me think of the time my teacher had first hit on me. I just needed more time to work on a simple project, but he gave me a one-hundred.
I gave him more than a stupid project.
The pink in Sage's hair. It reminded me of the pink skirt I had worn when the cutest boy on the football team asked me to help him after school.
But he really wanted a quick hook-up in the janitors closet before practice.
My shoulders were shaken quickly causing me to look at whoever was making contact with me. Charlotte had a look of worry on her face. She quickly hugged me.
"Are you okay?" Asked Sage.
I opened my eyes and saw her standing behind Charlotte -who still was hugging me- with her eyes full of worry.
I shook my head, dismissing her. "I'm fine."
Channing grabbed my hand after Charlotte let me go and kissed my knuckles. His pink lips felt awkward on my skin.
"Are you okay, baby? God, you scared me," he mumbled.
He hugged me close and kissed my hair. He grasped my face in his hands and kissed my nose. "I love you."
He closed his eyes and his forehead was pressed to mine. He brushed his lips against mine, gingerly.
"Don't ever scare me like that again. First, you runaway and then you weren't answering me... Are you sure you're okay?"
"I love you so much, baby. I swear. And I'm going to get better. I'm just really stressed out and... I am really sorry," he apologized.
"I know. I love you, too," I mumbled.
I know I shouldn't forgive him. But he apologized, right?
He loves me and I love him.
There is nothing that can change my mind about Channing.
http://heledis.com/
12/10/13