Nothing Without Love

Josie's POV

Last night was just fun. It seems like we've finally gotten over an awkward part in our forced friendship and forced relationship but that doesn't mean anything. We still give each other shit, as when he wouldn't give me my food and I threatened to punch him, joking of course but his facial reaction was just priceless.

Today we're leaving for San Diego. I'm nervous, it's like the ultimate test for us, we have to play it off as easily as possible. I think we can do it easily enough, I just have to pay attention. Try not to get so distracted by him. I don't know what we're doing after this is over though. Just go back to friends? Can we go through this whole week without doing something we might regret later? I don't really regret the night we spent together, wouldn't mind a repeat at times but that's just what it is and I don't really know how to move forward with it.

I've packed lightly, it's always a bit colder in San Diego, so I've added an extra sweatshirt and sweatpants to my suitcase. And I'll be taking my own pillow and blanket as it's a two hour drive without traffic and I know it might take just an hour to get out of LA.

I wait patiently for Louis to text me of his arrival, because I live in the guest house I don't get alerts when the gate is opened as the main house does. Erica and Niall have given me shit all week, when I actually see them. Niall has been busy writing, Erica busy with her dissertation and his mom on visit on top of that. I can take it though, I grew up in a gym where shit talking was a regular thing compared to normal conversation.

I'm literally sitting on the top step of the stairs, tapping my feet, my suitcase sitting next to me, pillow in hand. I learned while traveling growing up for dads fights, I sleep better bringing my own pillow, so I've done it ever since. I check my phone one more time, making sure that I haven't missed anything, making sure my phone isn't on silent. I tap my fingernails on my phone, still waiting. I know I was late yesterday but that was because of traffic, Louis is now twenty minutes late. Maybe he's rethinking everything? I think I'd be okay with it. I mean, we get along well enough but can we really pull off this fake relationship thing? I just don't know if I can be nice enough to him this whole weekend. Sometimes after ten minutes I can't stand him.

A text finally appears on my phone letting me know he's here as I all but run down the steps. I'm not a huge road trip fan, I get bored easily and LA traffic on a Friday can be a nightmare.

“I'll get that!” Louis rushes out of his car to grab my bag.

“Thanks. What was with the delay?” I can't help buy ask as he opens the door for me, closing it when I sit down. I used to protest against his chivalrous actions but I've learned to get used to them and now I actually expect them. He's spoiled me.

“I had to wait for the laundry to dry, I stuffed the washer too full and it took forever.” He shrugs as he puts his seat belt on. “Are you ready for this? We can back out right now, I can tell Stan we broke up, he won't know the difference.” He suggests.

“Then why couldn't you just tell Stan that we broke up in general. Then we wouldn't have had to spend so much time together and learn about each other.” I inform him as we round the driveway and exit out the front gate.

“Because whats the fun in that?” He laughs slightly, more of a nervous laugh and I can't help but think that he's doing this for his own private gain and not just for the sake of his friend but who am I to judge. I obviously went along with it after knowing him for a short amount of time so I've obviously got some feelings for him as well. Not that I'm trying to hide it, I know I do. Just trying to hide it from him.

I just pass him a slight smile and lean back in my seat, watching the houses pass by as Louis navigates his way to the interstate. It's a quiet drive, the radio just above silent, a small background noise soon enough I find myself drifting off to sleep easily.

“Where are we?” I ask stretching just a little bit, as much as I can as I'm belted to a seat and we're in a moving car. My voice is filled with sleep as I've noticed that we're only an hour into the trip and I can't help but glare at Louis for waking me up.

“We just got out of LA actually, it's still another hour and a half minus traffic.” That smile again, I swear he can't make it through a conversation with me without sharing that cheeky smile. I would like to avoid it at all costs but this whole week from here on out I'm suppose to allow myself to pretend to fall in love with it then try to flip the switch to off. I already know it will be difficult to turn it off. Damn it, why is he so charming?

“Then why did you wake me?” I whine.

“Because We have an hour and a half and I still feel like we don't know everything about each other.” He keeps his eyes on the road, glancing at me every now and then.

“Fine, what are the top three things that annoy you? Mine are people who wake me up from a nap, when people are late, and when people don't use turn signals.” I spout off quickly, Louis being the one that has woken me up early and he was late, and a person who just cut us off without a turn signal.

“Don't think I didn't catch that.” He points at me while looking forward and changing lanes. “Top three things that annoy me. I'd say when people scrape their forks over their teeth, that I can't trust everyone I come in contact with, and being alone. It's more annoying then you think.” I watch as his hands tense against the steering wheel and his jaw tightens. His non verbal cues are everywhere but easy to miss if you allow it.

“Why have you been alone for so long then?” I take a brave step. I'm sure after six months of dating it's something we've talked about by now.

“I don't know. I guess I never really allowed myself to let someone get close. I loved Eleanor, I guess a part of me still does as I don't feel like you can ever fully get over someone you shared so much with but she's happy, she's moved on a long time ago. And then I just pushed people away. I did what I had to do to keep going. I shielded myself from others so they wouldn't turn into monsters and get hurt by the media like I had watched Eleanor go through multiple times.” He never breaks eye contact with the road. I don't know if it's helping his thought process, but I'm not interrupting him as this seems important for him to get off his chest.

“Why did you two break up? You don't have to answer.” I speak quickly, it's not really my business to ask but I'm curious. I won't be upset if he doesn't answer.

“Tour life is difficult. Different time zones, it was actually easier when she was in school because she occupied herself with that, she had plenty of friends there. But when she graduated she found herself on the road with me and at times she didn't like it, saw things she didn't need to see. I was always faithful to her, I didn't have to be, it would have been easy to not be but it was important to me. Things just started getting odd with her, she treated me more like a son that was watching over me then a girlfriend that loved me. Our communication started to lack and everything just went downhill too fast.” I watch as he slows up for the next traffic jam. We'll be lucky if we get there before Stan and Sam do at this rate. “Like I said, she's a great girl, I mean, I would have been lucky to get to marry her but it just wasn't in the cards for us. In the end, it wasn't real.” I don't really know what to say, I didn't really expect him to share all this information but I'll take it. It's nice to show his weaker side, his vulnerable side that not too many people get to see.

It makes me feel like I'm getting him in a different light, in a spot that he doesn't always show to me or others.

“So why me?” I turn so I'm no sideways in the seat, really studying him. “I mean you could have probably gotten anyone and you chose me to do this little plot with.” I don't know what he'll say but I just want to know.

“I don't know. It was something about you. I mean, obviously you're pretty, that's easy to see. But you weren’t totally afraid of me, if I would spout off something you would just come back with more and I liked that. Then when I woke up and you were gone I just thought that was it, I'd never see you again. I don't know Jo, sometimes I just can't erase you.” He shrugs.

Notes

So Josie and Louis are stuck in a car! Delightful Josie is back a few times, but what does Louis expect? :) Louis is sharing some big things in this chapter, next chapter it will be Josie's turn! Any thoughts? Predictions about Josie? Love to hear them!

Hope you all have a great day! xoxoxox