Grammar- There was quite a few grammar mistakes I saw. Just go back through the story and fix the errors and you'll be fine. Also, you changed POV's a lot throughout just one chapter. Doing that can become slightly confusing and very annoying. Try and stick with one POV in a chapter. Having two isn't bad, but anything over two becomes confusing and annoying for readers, or at least for me.

Plot line- The plot line is unrealistic...sorry; the whole one girl magically gets to hang with the boys and Harry freaking falls for her. Then all of a sudden, randomly Serenity is Zayn's brother. I just felt like that was weird and out of the ordinary. I was bored while reading this story. There's just a lot that needs fixed and changed up. The plot line is just overused and bland. I know if you practice up on your writing skills you can write a good story, because you have potential.

Summary- The summary was okay. There was just some things you didn't need to put in there. Keep the summary simple but still intriguing.

Cover- The cover is so bright lol! It's good.

Characters- You had good character buildup. I did like the characters and how they were portrayed in the story. Good job on that.

What should be changed or fixed- Grammar needs touched up. The plot could be cleaned up some, and you could also jazz it up some; put more details in.

Overall rating- It wasn't bad but then I know you can do better. I see the potential you have in your writing. My honest opinion, I wasn't a fan of the story. But I know other readers on here might really enjoy this book or do. Overall I give this story a rating of 4.5.

Notes

If you'd like a review, please comment below. If you didn't like the review that was gave for your story, please message me or comment below and I'll remove the review right away.~ One Direction 1O1