I never want someone to hurt you, to make you die the way I do.

Harry.

My Harry... Not mine anymore. Just, Harry now. Only, Harry.

"Please," he whimpers desperately, hand reaching for me. "Please, no-- I, please." He begs breaking my already bruised heart.

I place my hand in his and swallow thickly, "Harry, shh, you're going to have a panic attack."

I need him to relax. To remember to breathe. I let him pull me in between his legs. He wraps his shaking arms around my waist and buries his face against my t-shirt covered stomach.

"Please," he cries shaking his head against me and I run my hands through his hair. "Baby, no, please baby. My baby," he stutters. "I love you."

"Harry--"

"Don't you love me anymore?" He tightens his arms around me preventing me from leaving his embrace. "I just-- don't do this. Please, baby, no."

"I didn't do this," if I keep letting him talk I know I'll be the one begging to keep this going. I know I'll give in and in a few months time I don't think I'll survive it. So I find whatever anger I have left in me and I let it bubble up until it forms words. "Harry, sign them."

His cries pick up again and the same broken sounds leave his lips and burn my skin. I feel his tears sinking into my shirt and his arms begin to shake.

He shakes his head furiously, "I can't," he says roughly.

"You can." I know he can because he gave me the papers so easily. He slammed them on the table like they were nothing.

I hear our bedroom door slam close and flinch against my mug. If I start crying Harry will only roll his eyes and begin to call me names that make me want to burn my skin in shame.

They humiliate me and I can't let him see me humiliated more than I already am. It is embarrassing for him. He's told me it is.

So I squeeze my eyes close and I beg myself not to cry. Don't cry... Don't cry... Don't... I run a shaking hand through my hair and take a deep breath when I hear his boot clad feet coming down the stairs.

Maybe if I apologize. Maybe if I stay quiet. I can be better. I can make him happy again. I can be what he wants again. I can try.

I flinch again when a manilla envelope is slammed on the table. It lands by my hand and I feel my heart begin to beat so fast I think it'll bounce right out of my chest.

My hands shake as I open it. I can't help the whimper that leaves me as I realize what the documents say.
I look up at Harry and regret it immediately. He looks unfazed by my reaction. He looks uninterested, like my crushed features are boring for him...I'm in pain and he's okay with it.

"Harry--" before I can finish he turns and walks away. I get up to follow him but I'm not quick enough because he's already left. I see him walking to his car with no care through the window.

I sink to the floor, my back against the door. I hug my knees to my chest and cry mumbling to myself.

"Please, no...please , please no."

I remember crying for hours against the door. I cried until Louis showed up. Harry had called him. Harry didn't come home that night. He never came home. He was with her. He was happy and I was dying.

"Harry, I need you to sign them. You have to."

"Why?!" He almost shouts looking up at me. "Why, Presley?!"

I finally break free from him and walk back until I can see his desperate face. "You don't get to be mad about this, Harry." He looks surprised by my sudden emotion. He gets up to come close to me and I shake my head holding my hand out to stop him. I wrap my arms around myself and breathe in deeply. "You don't get to ask me for an explanation."

"Presley, we can work this out. We can get help! Please, baby, please don't leave me."

"You left me first!" I shout. I take a deep breath and say, "You left me. You cheated on me, you did this." The force in my tone surprises me. The anger that I feel leaving my body terrifies me and seeing Harry so broken is slowly crushing me. I feel like I'll become dust soon if I don't leave. "You did this," I repeat. I don't know if it's for him to hear or its for me to remember.

His face drops and I can see the tears glistening in his green eyes. "I know! Fuck, I know I did this. I ruined my life, I know!"

"Sign the papers," I say calmly. My control amazes me. Takes my by surprise. "Just sign them, Harry. Remember how easily you gave them to me and how you left me that day. Remember what you were feeling that fucking day and sign them."

"I never meant to do that," he says looking at me almost like he's begging me to listen. To believe him. "I was angry and hurt. I couldn't let the accident and what happened to our baby go. I just wanted it to stop."

"Then sign them and make this stop," he looks in my eyes and he knows I'm tired. I know he can feel it.

But it doesn't stop him as he says, "I love you," he mumbles crying again, "Please don't make me give you up. Please, baby, no." His entire body begins to tremble as his whimpers begin to increase in volume.

"Fuck," I whisper and walk to him. I pull him into my arms and let him pull me against him tightly. I feel him shake against me. His face is buried in my neck and I feel his tears scorching my skin. "Harry, please."

He shakes his head, "I love you...I love you-- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I never want Harry to be in pain. That's why I gave him the divorce, why I was always so ready to forgive him for his affair if he had asked me to back then. I never wanted to see him like this. But there is no going back. I can't stay with him and just hope therapy will make us okay again. It won't. It'll work for a few months and then something will happen and when it does I won't survive it.

"You're going to be okay, " I tell him and myself. I don't know if he believes me. I don't know if I believe it. "You can be with Natalie now and I can try to move on."

"I don't want her. I Want you. I never wanted her! Just you," he chants against me. "I want us back."

"That's not going to happen. We're not getting back together," I screw my eyes closed when I hear him whimper in pain. He sounds the way I did all those nights he left me for her. "I love you, Harry. You know I do, but, I can't do this anymore. I won't."

With difficulty I move away from him. I stare at his wet face and I see the man I fell in love with him. The one who made me so happy and sad. I see my person until I don't and all I see the person who hurt me. Who made me feel miserable.

So I focus on his eyes and swallow all of my hate for him down. I lean in to kiss his cheek and when I pull back he opens his eyes. I take a deep breath and tell him, "The papers are in the kitchen. Sign them and give them to Marge, she'll take it from there."

"I love you, I'll always--- you. Just you," he promises softly. His words breaking and coming out incomplete.

I nod and cup his cheek, "You know I will always love you the most." I drop my hands and stare at him for a few seconds until I can't and I force myself to leave.

It's not until I close the door and I hear his crying from my side that I let my silent tears drop. I walk to Louis and past everyone who remain oddly quiet. He takes my hand and grips my suitcase.

As my house gets smaller the further we drive away I close my eyes and all I see is Harry.

My Harry... Always my Harry. But not my home anymore.

Notes

No, Jessica, I don't know if I'll do a sequel.