Coming Home

H.P.O.V
"Did you apolgise?" I don't think someone my age should be asked this question. Frankly, anyone above the age of twelve shouldn't be asked this question.

"Yes," I groan, "I welcomed her and everything. Get off my back." Technically I did apologize in some weird twisted way.

"Don't fuck this up for me Harry," I narrow my eyes at Louis.

"I didn't force you to leave, Louis. You could have said goodbye, answered her texts, picked up he-"

"Don't even try that," Louis grits, eyes hard. "We both know I did what I had to."

And while Louis' right, ignoring him makes it easier to share the blame. Makes me feel less like I ruined something.

Like I ruined someone.

"She was fine when I left, okay?"

Louis sighs and nods. He scrubs at his face and shakes his head. "Okay. Did you invite her to the party?"

"Didn't remember," I shrug my shoulders and lean against the counter, trying not to grin at Louis' groan.
"S'not like she'd come anyways. Remember yesterday? The awful dinner. The awkward talk. Do you really want to celebrate El's birthday like that?"

"I told you not to come," I tilt my head. He might have said not to. I just didn't listen. "And not only did you show up, but you brought your Barbie. Fuck if I were Presley I would have kneed you right in the balls and then ripped out Jasmine's extensions."

"That's my fiancé, Louis."

"Don't know why," Louis tuts, "you've been together six months. She hates the lads, and I do remember your mum banned you from all family gatherings." I roll my eyes, trying not to let my irritation get the best of me.

Mum didn't ban me from family gatherings. She said I couldn't come if I was bringing Jasmine. And Jasmine doesn't like Mum or any other women, really. So that'll never be a problem.

"Shut up. You want Presley here tonight, you invite her. I'm late for lunch."

"Are we really going to pretend you don't want Presley there?"

"I'm not pretending." I try.

"No, you're just being a dick who's lying to himself and committing the worst mistake in the history of mistakes." There's something deep inside of me that knows Louis' right. But it's so deep, that it's easy to ignore.

"Says the guy who's trying to replace her best friend because he's jealous." And if Louis' going to throw everything in my face, I might as well repay his hard work. "Face it Lou, we're both dicks."

"M'not jealous. And I'm not trying to replace anyone." Louis utters.

"Who's lying to himself now?"

"I miss who you were when you were with Presley," Louis mumbles walking toward the door. With a hand on the knob he turns his head and looks back. "I know you miss it to."

And Louis' wrong.

I don't miss it.

I don't miss Presley.

I haven't thought about Presley since I decided to leave. Don't miss the way she'd always kiss me before she left for school, or the way she was able to always put just enough cinnamon in my coffee. I don't miss the smell of her body-butter (strawberries and vanilla) or the way her hair felt around my fingers. And I definitely don't miss the way she made me feel.

I Don't miss her. I Don't need her. I Don't think about her.

....That much.

****
"Babe," I shouldn't be thinking about hazel eyes.

"Babe," I shouldn't be wondering what she's doing.

"Babe," I wonder how the café is-

"Harry!"

"What?"

"Why are you so distracted?" Jasmine has blue eyes and raven hair. "I'm trying to decide what dress I should wear for the party." Jasmine gets mad if she feels neglected, or if she thinks I'm starring at another women.

"I saw you Harry! Saw the way you couldn't keep your eyes off of her! I'm not stupid!"

"Jas, I wasn't starring at her," I was trying not to at least. "She was sitting in front of me. Where was I supposed to look?"

"At me," Jasmine says through clenched teeth. "I'm your fiancé! You're supposed to look at me! Not your stupid exgirlfriend." I frown. Presley's not stupid. Far from it.

"Jas, I wasn't starring at her," I try again. And even if I was. It's been a year. I haven't seen Presley in a year and it's strange seeing her again. "I'm marrying you aren't I?"

"Obviously." She snickers.

"You look great in anything," I muster. It's the easiest answer, and the one that'll keep me out of trouble.

"I know. I was just wondering what dress would look the best." She shrugs nursing her flute glass. "Make sure whatever you wear doesn't clash."

"I-- uh, okay?" I highly doubt anyone will be paying much attention to what Jasmine and I are wearing.

"Do you know who's coming? I hope they kept all the frumpy people out."

"Babe, Eleanor's friends are not frumpy. They're lovely and just because they don't have lavish occupations, doesn't mean they're worth less."

Jasmine arches her brow at me and rolls her eyes. "If you say so."

"You'll have fun."

"As long as Prude-- or whatever her name is, isn't there."

"Presley," I say. Jasmine waves her hand and shrugs. "Louis invited her and Ben. I don't know if she'll come, but Louis can be very persistent."

"She doesn't belong Harry. There's a reason she's in your past." I don't think Jasmine realizes I'm that reason. That I left because I didn't have any other choice.

Maybe if I had stayed Presley wouldn't be in my past.

"Babe, let's just focus on us, okay?" I'd rather not discuss Presley with Jasmine. Presley is a subject only a therapist would understand.

"Of course," Jasmine agrees, squeezing my fingers.

This morning Jasmine had dusted four spoonfuls of cinnamon in my coffee. I only need one. Two if I'm upset. Jasmine has blue eyes and raven hair. She doesn't kiss me when I wake up, but she'll kiss me nevertheless. She smells of expensive perfume and her hair feels dense, due to her extensions.

Jasmine is wearing my ring on her finger, and I have to remember that.

I have to remember that and forget Presley and her ability to spice my coffee.

Notes

I have no idea where 2014 went /).(\ xx