Good Intentions

HARRY’S POV

I sit watching the TV, I cant stop watch the situation unfolding. A high speed chase through LA. I’m drawn to it, cant stop watching it. It takes me back, back to when they caught up with Jim. No, it didn’t take them long to find him, though he did try to get away. I fully expected him to go down in a blaze of glory, but he didn’t. I guess he just gave up. I had not been told any of the details, but I had not asked either. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, others a lifetime ago but then sometimes, my brain questions if it happened at all.

After doing her time with probation and spending some much needed time getting to know her real family and them her, Meghan came to live with me. I’ve kept my promise to her. Sometimes I wonder who keeps who.

What we have as a relationship is not one of a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, it almost seems much deeper. There is nothing sexual involved, but the bond we have is more than that. She lives with me and is employed by me. She is what some would call my assistant.

The therapy is on going. The days following therapy for her are usually dark. Sometimes she’ll slip off to her room and will not want to be bothered. Others, she will throw herself into work and will not want to be bothered by me, being me.
Therapy for me has now reached the point of I go when I feel it is needed. Security never leaves my side now, not that I want them to leave. The headaches are not quite as frequent but when they do occur, they are debilitating.

My memory, I would say, for the most part is back. There are a few things I have to be reminded of, but once I am reminded, it becomes clear.
The lads have been the best, truly what best friends are made of. In the beginning one was with me at all times. I would ask questions and then we would relive memories, mostly laughing uncontrollably at ourselves.

This has probably been the hardest thing I have ever done. I was never mistreated thankfully, but what it does to you mentally is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I guess that’s why Meghan and I have stuck together, we get it.

Megan takes some classes in business management. I told her she didn’t have to, she said said she had to. She keeps my schedule like a well oiled machine. She also keeps me in line, she thinks for me when I stop thinking for myself. She has told me several times if I didn’t have the head issues I have, she’d smack me a good one to my head. She’s almost like a mum but without all the hugs and kisses and everything else a mum brings. We both have a deep respect for each other and always try to keep each others best interests at heart.
I do not limit her, nor she me. I date, as does she. I sometimes take on the big brother role and try to intimidate, but when one starts dating one of my mates, it doesn’t quite work out so easily.

Pity . . .We’ve both learned to pick up on the look immediately. That is the quickest way to to get ignored from either of us. We answer no questions regarding that moment in our lives, its no ones business.

Everyone has welcomed Meghan with open arms. The other women on the tour have all taken her under their wing and are very patient with her. She is close in age with Louis’ sister so they are constantly together. When you see one, you see the other.

Did what happen to me change me? Yes and no. I used to always care what others thought about me, probably too much, but with being under constant scrutiny, I learned I could not please everyone all the time and lived for myself. I now know there is more to live for than myself. Be it being taken or just growing up, it could all be gone, all of this. I now have the responsibility of someone else. Sure, she could could probably handle herself on her own now, but at one time, not tool long ago, we clung to each other. There were many nights we huddled together in one bed, waking the other other up from a nightmare we couldn’t shake ourselves out of. We still need each other, though her heart is pulling her away from me in a sense. I knew it would happen. I knew it when I saw him look at her and there was not an ounce of pity but of admiration.

We rarely speak of Jim and Lily. Jim will be behind bars the rest of his life and my attorneys are paid well to make sure that happens. Lily is a broken woman. After the trial, neither one of us have heard nothing of her.

I hear talking and turn to that direction to see Meghan leaning on the bar writing in the planner then putting it in her I Pad. I feel my phone vibrate and know she has added to my schedule. I hear footstep and then the thud on the couch, a hand reaching for the remote.
“My house, my remote.”



MEGAN’S POV

I feel as though I live my life on the phone sometimes, taking calls, making calls, confirming or canceling appointment, and schedule changes. The behind the scenes you never see of hear about. I love my job.

After I did my community service and finished probation, I took some time to get to know my real family. It was everything I had ever dreamed of what a real family was. One I felt I was ready, I called Harry and he immediately took me in and gave me something to do.

At first we even did some counseling together, but now he goes as needed and I still go regularly. I still have lots of questions.

The relationship I have with him is unlike any other, but then, it’s the only one I have ever really known. I look up to him not only as a boss or a big brother but also as a protector. We both lean on each other for different reasons and that so far has been my biggest reason.

The tour, that’s a whole new and different world. A side of life that is chaos beyond all imagination. Controlled chaos, and I’m one of those who gets to help control it. The women on the tour are wonderful. They treat me as if they’ve known me my whole life and as an equal. They have shown me the ropes and all the dos and don’t’s that go along with it. I’ve found a friend in Lottie. We share everything. She is usually with Lou but when she isn’t helping her, or I with Harry, were together. I am able to talk to her and not feel like every word is being analyzed to be used later. She just sits and listens. She makes me laugh, just like her brother.

The mothers of the guys, whenever they’re around, treat me as a daughter, Harry’s mum especially. She’s always getting onto him accusing him of over working me.

The guys have been welcoming as well, one more so than the others. We just hit it off. His carefree attitude is what I noticed first. I was so used to everything being so strict and guided, to see him just out there being himself, was liberating. He caught me looking and observing him one day and asked about it. As embarrassed as I was that I had been caught, I told him. We haven’t stopped talking since. We try to keep our relationship hidden to some degree but anyone who knows us, knows its there.

This journey has not been easy, at times the anger and bitterness will boil up and almost consume me. More times than I’d like to admit, Harry’s been there to bring me back down and help me get back to where I need to be. Sometimes its day by day, others its minute by minute, thankfully those moments are getting further and further apart.

I answer my phone and walk through the house, planner under my arm, I pad in the other hand. I lean on the bar as I make notes and changes to the schedule, sending changes to his phone calendar. I look up and he doesn’t even look at it, though I know he knows, I heard it vibrate against the leather couch.
I watch as Niall plops down next to him and a war over the remote ensues. What happened to me was not good, nor would I wish it an anyone, parent or child, but I wouldn’t have found the love and support I have sitting in front of me had I not gone through what I did.

Yes, it was all about Harry, but them finding Harry, found me also.

Notes

Yes, thats the end.
Stay tuned for my next story . . . .