Good Intentions

LILY’S POV
I prepared lunch for Will and me and we sat down to eat. He is full of questions, good questions. He asked of Jim and I, memories fill my head and I smile as I tell him.
“I met him through my family. Our families were close friends and had been for quite a while. I knew of him and his siblings but nothing more.
I had heard the stories of how and why his sister ran off and how his mom never recovered from it, maybe that was why I never had much to do with them. They would come over and have dinner with us on occasion. I remember sitting on the couch quietly next to my mother, hiding from all the chaos that many children brought with it. They scared me.
It wasn’t until I was sixteen and I was in town doing some shopping for my mother, he saw me and spoke to me. Insanely shy, I doubt I spoke two words to him.
That evening I was made aware that he was coming over on the grounds that he might court me. I was appalled. All of my friends were dating, going out on the weekends with their boyfriends, going to the movies, going out to eat, doing what couples do. I knew what courting meant in my house and dreaded it.
That evening consisted of dinner and sitting on the couch in a room with my parents. We were never left alone. Any communication was open to all individuals in the room. There was absolutely no privacy. My mother offered for us to play a board game and went to the hall closet to retrieve it. She placed it on the dinning room table and we set it up for two people. We were still able to be seen and still in ear shot, but the act of being in a different room was almost liberating. The game was Parcheesi. Playing that lightened the mood up quite a bit. We were able to ask questions of one another and have fun doing it. I found out his age, he was five years older than I. I asked if he dated before and was given the answer no, with no explanation. He asked the same of me. He asked of my music tastes and I told him as far as I knew I really had none. Unless it was sitting around with my parents, or riding in the car with my parents, the radio was never turned on. Oh, I heard music at school and loved it, but I was in ear shot of my parents and would not dare mention for fear of being taken out of the school and homeschooled, like an older brother who had gotten caught with his hands up a girls skirt during class.
He continued to come to my house on a weekly basis. The only time we were allowed to go in public was with a chaperone, be it my parents or a sibling who was certain to tell on us if anything happened.
I found myself falling for him and knew he was falling for me to.
It was Christmas and the local church was having a live nativity scene on the front lawn. He was allowed to pick me and drive me there, with my little sister sitting in between us. It was cold and light snow had started, the first one of the season. I remember it as if it had been yesterday. He asked me how I felt about him and forever. He told me of his wild dreams and how he wanted to share them with me. As I turned to him I saw him get down on one knee and ask me to marry him.
I said yes. It never once crossed me mind as to just how young I was.
I went to school the following Monday with an engagement ring on my finger. Eleventh grade, engaged. The rumors started to fly. I was mortified that someone would even think that of me. I arrived home that afternoon sobbing to my mother. I was so happy and had thought everyone would have been just as happy with me and for me. I had no idea about the jealous rumors that would follow me down the halls.
The rumors were relentless and never stopped. Some even said it was all fake, it was my others ring I had stolen. After a horrible day at school I arrived home and gave the announcement to my parents I was going to call it all off. They adamantly refused and came up with a plan.
Friday morning I was allowed to sleep in. I awoke and realized I had over slept and started to panic. My mother came in the room with a white velvet dress and laid it out over my bed. I sat there questioning where we were going that I had to be so dressed up for. City Hall was the answer I was given.
We pulled up and I see him standing there in a suit and tie. His dad and step mother stood there smiling as we walk up, he extends his elbow for me to take. Our parents walk ahead of us and gather the paper work, signing the consent for me. I had yet to say a word since I had been informed I was getting married today.
We stood in front of the judge as he preformed the cookie cutter ceremony, ‘I do’ barely able to be uttered from my lips. I was told we could kiss but I had no idea how to, I’d never been kissed. It actually ended up being quite simple.
As we walk out of the courthouse my parents tell him that my things would be sent over this weekend. The reality of me not going home with parents, just became all too real.”
I watch him as he seems to hang on every word. Then I notice his facial expression change and he starts to choke.
I check on him and he seems to be fine, just shook him up a little.
I watch as a wave of nausea hits him, I almost saw his face change colors as he leaves quickly and runs to his room.
Not sure if it was the choking that upset him or he’s coming down with something. I’ll just have to keep an eye on him the rest of the day.
I clear our things from the table and check on him. I notice he’s shaking so I grab a blanket from the hall closet and lay it over him, pulling it up to his head. I tuck it in and I hear a muffled thank you and pat him on the back.
If he’s not better in the morning I may call the doctor

Notes