Good Intentions

WILL’S POV

I still have questions. Some are answered in pieces when I wake up, some of my memory is returning, though I would never let it show if I can help it. It’s the simple things that are returning, which is good, but I want pieces of my life. My real name would be helpful. I don’t know how it would help me, stuck out here in the middle of no where, snow and ice probably for hundreds of miles. I don’t even know which way to go if I were to try and leave. My only option, stay.

They have not treated me badly, on the contrary, all my needs are met. The only thing is why. Why me?
I wrack my brain trying to figure out if I had done something to deserve this and can think of nothing. As bad as I don’t want to, I need the drugs, I need that induced sleep to dream.

Working every day has helped me tremendously. I gets me out of the house and works the remnants of whatever drugs they have given me out of my system. It’s contradictory, I want drugs to sleep and help me dream but I also need them out of my system to help me compose a plan.

I know she knows whats going on.

When I confronted her it scared her and I do believe that she knows no more than she is letting on. I have put myself out there to trust her, I think I can anyway.

After showering I pull out my journal and write any memories, no matter how small and insignificant the may seem. I write the explanation of the cross tattoo. I shrug at that one, a lie, no way I would get a tattoo because of of others. Or would I? I see the shadows of them all down my arm, on my body.

The evenings are the same every night, dinner, shower, family time in front of the radio, then bed. I actually enjoy listening to the radio, its almost comforting in a way.
As I am about to get in bed, Meghan peaks through the crack and whispers to me. I motion for her to come in and she does so, shutting the door quietly.

“I need some or at least one of those pills. I need to dream.” I tell her, almost begging.
“That’s what I was coming to tell you or warn you. I think a shot is in your future, you may be going into town tomorrow, for what though, I don’t know.”
I see her glance towards the desk and notice my journal out. I nod ‘No’ to her with a stern look on my face. “It’s mine. Leave it alone”. I startle her enough that I think she’ll leave it alone, for now.
She turns and leaves the room and I hide it once again. I hear shuffling in the kitchen and know what is about to happen. I welcome it.

I crawl in bed and I hear ‘mom’ come to the door and quietly knock. It’s the same thing every time. As she bends over and kisses my forehead, the other arm drops to my other side, pinch felt, with in minutes I feel the medicine start taking effect.

My mind and body are working against each other and I hear a name, clear as day. “Harry, wake up. We have a flight to catch”.
I try to fight it but cant

Notes