Harry's POV
I pull up outside and I take a deep breath. I'm here, I've followed my heart and now there is no turning back. I open my door and I step outside as the cold air hits me, I feel a little nervous being here but I know this is the place I belong at this specific time. I lock my car and I make my way to the door, I pause as the door opens,

"Harry?" Mum stands there in her dressing gown, she looks a little dazed. "Oh my, Harry!" She breaks into a wide smile and dives towards me, wrapping her arms around me. I hug her back and I hold on to her tightly. "Is everything okay?" She asks as she strokes my hair. I know she was most likely getting ready for bed but I couldn't wait till tomorrow to come here.

"No not really." I answer as I let her go and she guides me inside. I close the door behind me and we walk into the living room. I've never done this before, I've never turned it to my Mum for advice.

"What's happened?" Mum asks warily as we sit on the sofa, turning our positions so we are facing each other, I slowly begin to process words in my head to try and say out loud to her. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asks as she knows what I'm like. I look at her and I softly smile.

"Yes.." I answer and my Mum's face lights up, I can see her eyes starting to water at the shock of me wanting to talk. She knows how hard this is for me and I guess it's emotional for her to get this sort of connection for us.

"I've screwed up again." I say as I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees, I turn to look at her. "Everywhere I go there seems to be trouble waiting for me." I add and my Mum gently shakes her head.

"That's not true Harry.." She says in a calm and collective tone. I look away as I know I'm going to have to go in deep with this.

"It is Mum. People have happy lives before I turn up. It's like I'm a walking time bomb, I'm slowly about to explode. And I ruin everything they have." I say as I look ahead of me. I land on a school photo of me that's On the fire place. I'm smiling with the most cheesiest smile on my face, it causes me to look away.

"What's made you feel this way Harry? What's happened?" Mum asks as I must sound so confusing to her. I just turn up at her door and I start going on and on about how useless I am. I sigh as I rub my hands together as I try to wipe the sweat from my palms away.

"It's a long story." I say as I look at her and she smiles.

"We've got all night.." She says supportively and I nod. It's good she's being patient with me because I have no idea where to start. I guess I'll just rewind back to the beginning.

"Mum when Stephanie and I were kids, we used to like each other." I say and I look at her for her reaction, she smiles and looks down, I continue. "I was fascinated by her, she was everything that I thought was perfect. I didn't know what love was then, but I knew she was someone who could teach me about love. I wanted to protect her from the bad in the world, to shelter her from every bad thing that existed." I say and my own words make my heart slowly sink into my stomach.

"We knew you adored each other Harry. Susan and I would watch how you two always looked out for each other, you were very protective of Stephanie." Mum answers and I had no idea she knew how we felt. We thought we were in our world with our own secrets that no one else would ever find out.

"So basically when I saw Stephanie for the first time again, I felt the exact same as I did as a kid. It's as if nothing changed and it confused the hell out of me." I pause as I look away. "It was hard living with her at first. I was this guy who just couldn't express how I felt. She didn't understand me at all." I explain and my Mum looks at me and she strokes my hand comfortingly.

"Thing is Stephanie didn't know the older Harry did she, you were both learning each other again" Mum says and I nod as she's right.

"Thing is I wanted to protect her so much, I even told her I wasn't good enough for her because I was dragging her down. When I got into a fight with her ex, she took the blame for me and I really tried to make things up to her. I decorated the park we used to go to with lights and wine, but that doesn't matter," I stop as that idea annoys me. That night felt so perfect and it feels as if we suddenly just forgot about it. We had our first kiss that night, did that not matter at all?

"It does matter Harry. That's a lovely thing to do and Son, I'm so bloody proud of you for doing that." Mum says and I can hear the lump forming in her throat. This is overwhelming for her I know, but I have to focus on getting to the point of this conversation.

"No because we ended up rowing again because of a phone call she overheard between Naomi and I. That's when I knew I couldn't drag her into my life, I couldn't talk to her about how I felt because she didn't understand I just can't talk about things like that," I say and Mum nods as she listens closely.

"So then I did something that I never thought I could ever do." I pause as I shake my head embarrassed at my next words,"I wrote her song and I sang it to her, because that was the only way I could express how I felt." I add and my Mum gasps in shock, she looks at me stunned.

"Harry that's wonderful and very romantic!" Mum says as she smiles. "And how did Stephanie feel about it?" She asks.

"She loved it because she knew I liked her. Then we agreed we would start seeing each other, nothing official but we kept it to ourselves. Mum, she doesn't get how happy I was. I've never felt so good about myself when I was with her! I'd never right a song for anyone.." I say as I turn to look at her.

"Why did you keep it to yourselves?" Mum asks and I don't have the answer. Stephanie thought it was best and I don't really know why. Maybe I didn't take enough interest though? I was too happy about the fact we were changing our status from being friends.

"It felt right at the time." I say and Mum smiles, "But again it didn't last long, I met her best friend called Amy." I say and I look at her to make sure she is up to date with what I'm saying. She nods for me to continue. "I thought she was nice, she helped me try to find a way to tell Stephanie how I felt, she gave me advice when she thought I needed it. She just tried to be my friend." I stop as I know I'm going to find this harder from now on.

"Right okay, so you made a friendship with this Amy?" Mum asks and I nod. She looks at me and waits for me to continue. I take a deep breath.

"She used to contact me a lot on Facebook and I had a few drinks with her in her parents pub. I thought she was sweet, she seemed to really care about Stephanie. But one day, I walked her home after Steph got quite fed up with her. But Steph tried to come after us but she bumped into these girls, and basically they beat her up." I stop as I look away as that day comes back into my head. Mum looks in horror at me.

"Is Stephanie okay?" She asks worriedly and I nod. I fight back tears that I've rarely let escape my eyes. "Oh Harry.." Mum adds as she notices. I look away and I cough to clear my throat.

"The fucked up thing is, I wasn't there to protect her. I was too busy trying to make sure her best friend got home okay because I knew her ex was looking for her. But I had no idea Stephanie was-" I let my head fall into my hands as this is too fucking hard to say. How do people do this??

"It's okay Harry." Mum says soothingly as I can hear her voice crack as she's beginning to get emotional. I lift my head up and look at her.

"It's not okay, because I should have been there for her! But instead her ex was there and that completely screwed me up!" I snap as I quickly wipe a tear away, I feel annoyed that I let it escape. Mum grabs my hand and I look away.

"Harry! You can't be in two places at once! You tried to do the right thing, unfortunately love, these things happen! You're not too blame for that." Mum says in a stern voice and I nod. I know she's right but it doesn't make me feel any less shit about myself.

"Well.." I sniff and I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. "It turns out that Amy had a crush on me and all along she wanted me to be with her, and that's what's happened tonight." I add and my Mum sighs as she looks down.

"What do you mean that's what's happened tonight?" Mum asks a little tensed as she knows I'm getting a little more wound up now by the change of the tone of my voice.

"She came on to me. She was drunk and I was quite tipsy, she kept dancing seductively to me and I took her out of the room to get fresh air, but she guided me into the studio. I tried to get her to leave, and that's when she told me she wanted me. But she thought I wanted her too." I let my head fall down in shame as my Mum stays quiet, "she whispered something in my ear.." I stop as I can't tell my Mum this.

"Okay I can sort of guess what she was most likely whispering. How did you feel to her comment?" Mum asks and I'm so pleased she diverted me away from having to explain any further.

"I probably enjoyed it a little too much, it had an effect on me. But the thing is, I imagined it from Stephanie as it was something I'd have wanted her to say." I explain and my Mum nods, I'm so glad she's understanding me right now. "Is that fucked up?" I ask.

"Okay Harry, first, just remember about your language. I know you're upset and angry, but just try to work on the swearing." I roll my eyes as I forgot how much my Mum hates me swearing.

"Anyway, no it's not because there are times when you can crave something so bad from someone, but that person just doesn't give it and when you get it from someone else you don't necessarily think about who's giving it, you focus more on finally having it. Does that make sense?" Mum answers and I look at her and I nod. In a strange way it does make sense. We may be the only ones who know what we mean, but right now that's all that matters. I never realised we think the same.

"Anyway, Stephanie caught Amy trying it on with me, she ran off and shit hit the -sorry- things got complicated as Stephanie and Amy had a fall out. Amy tried to explain how she loves me and she knows I feel the same." I look at the floor as I can still see Amy in my head now pleading me to tell everyone that I felt the same about her.

"Do you feel the same?" Mum asks and I look at her and frown.

"No! She's an attractive girl and that but no, I only want to be with Stephanie." I answer a little defensively. Mum nods, so I move on to explaining further.

"So when Amy left I spoke to Stephanie. I told her everything, even the bit where I reacted to Amy's whispering in my ear. Obviously it didn't go down well, but I felt so angry that Stephanie didn't understand what I was saying. All she saw was I got turned on by a comment and she didn't allow to listen to anything else I was saying." I snap as I've become oblivious to how much I have just told my Mum. She doesn't seem bothered as she looks at me.

"So Stephanie just thinks you like Amy because you were turned on." My Mum's words make me cringe. Can I really talk like this with her? "Harry, you're an adult I can accept hearing about this." She adds and I just feel to weird.

"No this is weird Mum." I confess and she nods and I try to go back to explaining. "So yeah, that's all she heard from everything I was saying to her. So I had to go, I had to walk away." I say and Mum frowns.

"Why? Why didn't you stay there and talk it through with her? Even if you had to keep going over and over it for her to understand?" Mum asks and I look at her and I feel a little bit of emotion sinking in again.

"Because I know she doesn't trust me. If she did she wouldn't have just reacted the way she did, she would have got angry and then listened to what I was saying after. But she didn't, so therefore she didn't trust my actions and to me, that was the biggest insult." I run a hand through my hair.

"I knew if I stayed there and tried to talk it out, I would have hurt her even more. I could feel myself turning into the Harry that I don't want to be. I was getting angry and I was starting to feel suffocated." It's sad talking about myself like this, I feel a lump in my throat and I'm not used to this,

"I'm trying so hard to be a better person and to have more patience. But I was going back on myself, I didn't want to be how I used to be. I couldn't, that's why I left because I knew it was the right thing to do. Even if she does hate me for it." I sniff as I can't believe I'm getting so worked up about it. I never thought I'd be able to feel this way.

"Come here." Mum says as she wraps her arms around me and my head falls onto her shoulder. I can hear her crying.

"She deserves someone who can emotionally open up to her and give her what she needs. I'm useless Mum, I tried my best, I told her I loved her, that was so bloody hard Mum." I let myself cry, I've come this far and here I am crying my eyes out to my Mum about the girl I love. How did I get to this?

"You're far from useless Harry. I am so proud of you. You have handled things very maturely and you need to give yourself more credit for tonight." Mum cries as she strokes my hair. I shake my head and I slowly sit up, wiping my eyes.

"I just can't imagine going back there, the look on her face when I left.." I sniff as I try to regain my pride and stop the tears. "I just had to leave Mum, I didn't want to say things I'd regret or to treat her like a dick. That's the last thing she deserves." I add and I look down at the floor.

"You did the right thing and Stephanie will learn that." She sobs as she tries to wipe her eyes but she keeps crying. I look at her and I can't help but smile as I'm a little confused.

"Why are you crying?" I ask and she laughs as she starts to control the tears. She coughs to clear the lump in her throat like I had to and she smiles.

"Because tonight Harry, I have never been more prouder of you in my life. You have changed so much that I can't believe we are sat here doing this. I'm so grateful you've opened up to me because we used to talk all the time when you were a kid. I've missed this." She says as she wipes the last remaining tears.

"Thanks Mum." I smile as I lean forward and I wrap my arms around her. I have to be honest, the connection I have made with my Mum tonight is incredible.

"You'll always be my baby Harry, I love you so much." She adds as she hugs me back. I smile as I close my eyes.

Notes

I really wanted to base this chapter on just Harry. The way he opens up to his Mum about Stephanie was a big thing for him and it felt good to write it. I hope you enjoyed reading this..

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