The Test Subject

It was now Sunday and we were permitted to have a shower. I discovered my new neighbor was called Ashton after much pestering Harry had kept a close eye on our interaction which only confused the hell out of me. Of course our interaction was limited. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad. Ashton didn't give of the criminal vibe. I felt as though i had no reason to be afraid of him. I felt as though i could trust him and i had nothing to go on. My imagination must be running wild, although my instincts have never faltered before. I stepped out my cell and glared at Jim. He was a old man, grey hair and grey mustache.His brown eyes would stare at you for hours on end. His eye brows knotted together tightly, almost like caterpillars. To the outside world he would be deemed harmless, a innocent old man. Probably a war hero, someone to respect... if only they knew. Jim was currently struggling to lock the gate back up, as a result the noise he was making was horrendous. I took this as a opportunity to look back at Ashton. I subtly turned round and i took in his brown messy hair, his green eyes and his small lips. He seemed so carefree despite his current situation. I noticed that he was concentrating on his nails, probably because he was about to pick them. I loved how his eyes would focus, his forehead would crease while doing so. I know it was weird to think this but whats normal about my life? Ashton glanced round and a huge obnoxious smirk replaced his whole calm demur. I quickly looked away in embarrassment. I rolled my eyes at Jim's failed attempts to lock my door. I wondered why Miss Butts would keep such a old worker here. He isn't in the slightest useful. With Miss Butts increasing the new levels of guards im surprised she doesn't just fire him. I considered the possibility of running for a split second.I imagined running into a dead end, i imagined looking at the four walls hoping for a way out and then i imagined getting caught and then punished or even getting killed. Maybe that's the release ive been waiting for. "you ready Subject one" the old man croaked. I nodded violently. Afraid of what could happen if i disobeyed him, i followed him reluctantly. "Hey, when is it my turn to shower" Ashton shouted at Jim. I bit my lip sniffling a laugh. "Not now obviously" Jim said rolling his eyes. "But-" Jim cut him of "shut it dog!" Jim said hitting the bars with his baton. I winced as Ashton backed away, Jaw tense. "I'll get you back for that" I've came to the conclusion he must have a death wish. " Really because where im standing you're just a stupid lab rat while im free to do whatever i please" Jim taunted Ashton relentlessly. Test subjects weren't allowed to converse with guards, so threatening was sure punishable by something. I weakly smiled at Ashton while Jim laughed evilly. "we'll see who has the last laugh" Ashton smirked. He was now menacing. I was wrongfully scared
I sighed heavily as i reached the cold room to undress in. I waiting for Jim to undo my shackles. When he did i stared at him. He wasn't the innocent old man his appearance shows, he's evil. Jim stood outside the door, unable to see or even hear me. It always smelled in here of metal which smells much like blood. It created a burning headache. I took my bottoms of and was left in my top. My time here is basically non exsistant to i thought i better hurry along. As i looked down i noticed blood on my top. i squinted my eyes looking at the color. It was a dark color. My throat began getting dry. My first initial thoughts was that it was a nose bleed. That would be a good thing because there wasn't any blood coming from my head... it was coming from above. I raised a eyebrow as i slowly looked up. I knew i wouldn't be prepared to see what i was about to witness. The ceiling was fragile anyway. It was a cream color. All i could see was a pool of red blood.I wanted to scream , cry and pass out but i couldn't even move. I've been near death before but ive never seen it so close. I couldn't smell it like this before. never swallowed the fear as much as i did right now. I put my bottoms back on and debated whether to see what it was up there. I stood up on a brown bench, giving me a height advantage. The smell was stronger than before and a huge lump grew in my throat. "are you in the shower yet Subject One?" Jim shouted unsuspectingly, i gasped loudly. "err yeah just a moment" i shouted back. I closed my eyes and opened them. I raised my hand slowly and begun lifting the ceiling. I didn't realize how heavy it actually was. I was weak. The ceiling wasn't heavy in reality. It was my fear thinking the ceilings heavy. You have to tell the difference from reality and fear. Fear only exists in the mind.
I felt sick. I was definitely on the verge of throwing up. As i lifted the ceiling up something fell out. It seemed like someone or something cut the ceiling open to put whatever in there. I instantly lost my grip and fell of the bench. I landed painfully on my bum. A natural reaction was for me to gasp. I stood up, looking over the bench to see what fell out. Before i even saw i envisioned the horror, the gore. It was a body. I looked away in disgust. I had to look back, the curiosity was eating me away. It was a female with brown hair. The blood was coming from both her stomach and the side of her head.I was angry at the fact her face was totally deformed. Her appearance was almost unrecognizable. What kind of monster would do that. Her grey uniform was cut up, she had dark blue bruises on her wrist. Normally a person would look peaceful when they died. They normally would look like they were sleeping. My breathing increased. I couldn't just stand here, i needed help.I let out a strong piercing scream as i ran out. I opened the door with such haste. I ran into someones open arms. I felt strangely comfort as i layed my head on his strong chest. His arms wrapped around me protectively. Was this Jim? Realization hit me and i bounced back. "whoa whats going on Lily?" Harry asked obviously panicked. I never ever made a scene before. "there's--there's a body in there... Harry she was murdered" i cried.The need to vomit wouldn't leave me alone. Harry didn't waste no time to investigate. I couldn't wait no longer. I was sick violently in a corner. Every time i thought i had stopped i get visuals of that poor woman without a face. She deserved to be remembered. The smell lingered in the air. harry patted my back making me vomit harsher. "who was that girl?" i asked, rubbing the corner of my mouth. Harry looked as though he was about to come up with a stupid excuse. Although he normally remains calm in the sight of blood i could tell it bothered him. Harry's face lost color, his eyes red and puffy. "i don't know yet Lily but i will soon okay.Every guard will be alerted and it wont be long until we find someone who not in their cell" he reassured. It was then i realized we had a killer on the loose. Thats what you get when you let criminals into the corporation. "who done it Harry? what if they blamed me, i mean i did discover the body and i was alone the only person who could possibly defend me is...--- wait wheres Jim?" i was scared, in fact i was terrified. Somewhere in this piece of hell is something or someone worse than Miss Butts. For leaving his post i know he will face a fate worse than death. I suddenly pitied Jim, granted it didn't last long. Perhaps Ashton would get the last laugh after all.
"why? was Jim here?" Harry questioned, running a hand through his hair. I nodded quickly not trusting my voice. How could Harry not know about Jim? everyone knows that on a Sunday its Jim and Mandy in charge of taking subjects to the shower. Harry looked round the long narrow hallway. I took note of the change of color in his face. I felt somewhat better after being sick. "I think we need to tell Miss Butts" Harry said with no emotion in his voice. My eyes widened. Deep inside i knew it was something that had to be done, but the question remains... would she even care? "or maybe we shouldn't, we could deal with it our self's, or i could" i shook my head in total disagreement. That was a stupid idea. "Harry that girls face is deformed, we have no idea as to who she is, Harry she deserves a face" i cried before carrying on. "The only way she can truly rest is to get the person that did that to her, and- and give her a face" i raged. It was strange feeling angry. This was so intense. "we all know shes going to blame you or Jim Lily" he warned. "The only way we can truly be safe is to tell Miss Butts. I knew Harry knows im right but that doesn't mean he has to like it. I was adamant that that poor victim had to have a name and face. It was inevitable really. Maybe i am selfish for thinking of myself. I didn't want to face Miss Butts and on some level, neither did Harry. "It'll be okay. You just need to be brave one last time." Harry ran his hand through my hair which calmed a few nerves. "perhaps my time has finally ran out Harry" I looked into his eyes and he chose to ignore me. I wonder who would replace me as number one. Whoever it is, i feel for them. This is no life.
I realized how selfish im being. "Harry, just take me to her. Finding the monster who did this has more importance than my life ever will"
As we were walking towards Miss Butts office, Harry put me in chains. They were tight around my wrist. I didn't mind...i understood. I did realize though that this did make me look guilty but i couldn't question it. I walked past Ashtons cell and gave a small reassuring smile, obviously i made sure Harry didn't see. Ashton stood up and ran to the bars Jim had hit. "Lily? Lily whats going on" Ashton shouted. Harry looked down and glared at me. I felt his eyes burn into me like lazers. Ashton For some reason he seemed worried, i should be the least of his never ending list of things to worry about. I have to admit, my stomach was doing flips and my palms began to sweat. I didn't want anyone thinking that i have blood on my hands. I didn't want to be labeled as a killer. "Harry... im scared and i know i should be brave but i just cant" i admitted while looking at the ground. "its okay to be afraid, you've earned the right to be scared after all these years" he patted my lower back. "i should be brave like you" i confessed. "im only brave when i have to be brave, my fears could eat me alive but i don't let it" Harry smiled showing his dimples. He scoffed lightly. "words of wisdom by Miss Butts assistant, who would of thought" he laughed. I could tell he thought he was a bad person. He wasn't though. He was my friend when i needed him and a brother all the time. "Harry your not a bad person" i said simply. I stopped walking and turned towards him. "promise me you wont think like that anymore. You were there when i thought the world was evil. Harry... you gave me hope" i waited for a reply. He raised a eyebrow "now your making me promise?" he humored. "yes, yes Harry" i crossed my arms over my chest.Harry sighed deeply before replying "why do you even care?" he asked. He held no anger or disappointment only curiousness. "because you've been there when you shouldn't be and i know you care about me so its common courtesy right?" i wasn't so sure about manners on the outside world, Harry teaches me the best of his ability and its quite good especially with the amount of time we have. "the world doesn't work like that"
"if someone cares about someone they must on some level care back, why hide the fact you care?" i said, i tried to hide the fact i confused myself. "let me tell you story" we started walking again " in high school i loved this girl, she was so perfect, the way her blonde hair would fall stylishly, the way she could wear a bin bag and still look stunning and i wanted nothing more than for her to feel the same feelings as i did. Look at me the way i looked at her. This girl you see, was popular and i was-- under the radar lets say. She had every boy wrapped around her little finger including me, i cared so much about her Lily but attempt after attempt she rejected me. Each time got more and more humiliating but i didn't care and She didn't care about my feelings one bit when she embarrassed me in front of the whole school... i was her toy and she played me until it was time to put me back in the box and i guess i was lonely because i let her because i cared and it only left me heart broken" Harry finished.I didn't know what to say, it adds to the reason why i will never find love nor would i want to. "is love evil?" i asked. "yes" The response was what i was expecting but i didn't want to hear it i guess. I looked down at the recent knowledge. Harry didn't notice. I wriggled my hands about, it was uncomfortable and strangely itchy, the noise the chains made gave me a small headache. The images of the previous events played furiously in my mind, constantly on repeat.Whoever she was, no matter how rude or how hateful she was, no one deserves that fate. Murder is wrong in any concept. Taking someones life, having their blood on your hands. It baffles me who someone could live with themselves. I know i couldn't. I often question if i could truly take revenge on Miss Butts, sure she deserves every once of pain but could i be cruel, could i turn that switch off. I promised myself i wouldn't let this place change me, my intentions would be good but its often seen as bad. "Harry, i don't believe love is evil" i said suddenly. I was trying to distract myself from the nerves. "you would say that... Lily you haven't had no one to love" he spat. "whats wrong with you" i said. "Love isn't real. In this place you wont last a day if you believe otherwise. You turn the switch of and you become numb. You should long for the feeling to not feel at all" Harry said, aggressively running his hands through his hair. "if we cease to believe in love, then why would we want to live at all?" i said softly. By the time we finished the conversation we was outside Miss Butts office. " you gave me hope and now its time to return the favor." i smiled. I looked at the brown door. "this might be my last chance after all" i faked laughed.
Harry looked at me sympathetically. The anger he once had was gone and so was mine. The anger which covers up sadness or grief will get you killed, its a stupid yet powerful emotion. If we let it, it will control us. "im sorry for what im about to do Lily" Harry whispered. i gave him a reassuring smile and placed a hand this his right cheek. "its okay" i mimed. Everything's going to be ok i told myself. We both sighed, Harry roughly pushed me into Miss Butts office. I landed harshly on the floor. "im here to report a crime" Harry stated. I glanced up at the witch, she dropped her pen onto her white paper and just smiled. She turned her head slightly to the right as though she has been waiting for this day. Miss Butts infuriates me, she tests my morals, makes me question everything i believed in.. for the worse. "well isn't this interesting" Miss Butts said crossing her arms over her skinny body. The gleam in her evil eyes surprised me, she really was waiting for the day she could punish me. "what happened Styles" she spat, Harry shifted uncomfortably. "what did she do?" she whispered looking directly at me."she-Subject one found a body, a dead body. In the changing room" He out his arms behind his back. Harry often reminded me of a police officer. "well what are you waiting for? take the filth away" She stood up in anger. Her fore finger pointed towards me. I noticed just how boney and crooked it is. I panicked at her predicable to blame. "i saw the body, there is no way a small girl like her could do that, it seemed like the work of someone that had done it before. Maybe it was one of the new test subjects" Harry remained calm, despite the harsh gaze that could scare the dead. "a small girl like this could destroy this facility. Styles do not let appearances fool you" She shouted. Harry stood still taking the anger. "And i know Subject One uses her good looks and sweet words to her advantage" i suddenly felt like a common street walker. I knew i wasn't like that. I never once considered myself beautiful. "well? what are you waiting for? arrest her. The trial will happen later" She dismissed Harry. "there's not enough evidence to convict her" Harry said. "my word should be enough."
"Mr Styles im beginning to think you care for the girl"

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