~Brynn~

to be honest... It really hurt me that Sam would even doubt my love for her. After everything we have been through. I mean, damn... I practically beat up Tiffany for her! Granted I've wanted to mess up that cunts face for awhile now... I wouldn't have done it if she hadn't fucked with my sister. "Why would you even ask Sammy?" I couldn't keep the hurt out of my voice as teas swam in my eyes.

did she even know I beat Tiffany to a bloody pulp? Probably not, her and Zayn left before Niall came back with her. "I-I'm sorry." Her voice cracked and so did my heart "but I'm starting to doubt everything right now."

"Why?" I repeated with a sympathetic look at Niall.

"It's just hard to believe that all the gold things in my life are real." I'm debating weather or not to be happy that I'm considered a good thing in her life, or depressed that she doubts everything good in her life. I had that moment to, I still have those moments, and seeing Sammy here, on the couch next to me, it brigs me back to those dark days. It scares me to see her like this, because I'm afraid she'll pry me back to my dark suicidal days... And those days still haunts my dreams.

"No, no, no Sammy. I love you, I love you more than myself, because without you there would be no me. Ever." I tried to sooth her and I hope it worked.

it seemed like it did a little, because her harsh breath became slower and steady "I'm just so lost right now."

"I can help you be found." I whispered. To be honest I have done it before, and she has done it to me plenty of times in my dark days of Rock music, sharp blades, and sob stores of how utterly alone I am. And it pains me that I can still remember ever detail of that moment like it happened days ago. The cut on her arm reminded me of when I carved those exact names in my upper thigh, just so it would be easier to hide. Seeing her like this just scarred me more than I cared to admit, and that's not something I wish to go back to. But nothing seemed to be going right... Sure out dad was locked up, but Sam was heartbroken, I have to see her heartbroken, and we still had no clue what came over our mum. She never came back... So we dully came to the conclusion she left us.

"Please Brynn... I desperately need-" suddenly the from door open reviling a rather pissed off Zayn.

"Sam?" It voice was sour, and it made me confused.

oh fuck, oh fuck, ohhhhhh fuck!!!!!! "Uh, Zayn..." I tried to but in but Sam's eyes widened and she did her best to wipe off the tears streaming from her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" He was angry, very angry and I knew it now.

Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck!!! "Tell you what?" Confusion dulled her features more than they already were.

"how you feel!" He snapped.

"Zayn..." I couldn't decide weather I was warnig him or begging him. All I knew is I wasn't ready for this... Not now. The only other man Sam has loved was Jake... And lodd knows how well that worked out.

"how... I feel?" She was completely and utterly confused, and I don't blame her. I would be to.

"Shit, no more lying Sam!" He growls and ran both his and s threw his already messy hair. He must be going Indian if he let his hair stay that messy... I mean, he never let himself look this messed up. Like he just rolled out of bed... And yet here he is. "Be honest with me... With everyone for once!"

"Zayn!" I snapped at him.

"Dammit Brynn, stay out of this! You already beat Tiffany up, you've done enough." He trailed his cool gaze to me making me flinch.

Being dismissed like some little kid hurt, and it took everything in my power not to either cry like a bitch, or beat the shit out of him. "You beat Tiffany up?" Sam's puffy eyes were now on me.

i sighed and glared at Zayn "Christ, just let it go Zayn!"

"I have the right to know how she really feels! So shut the fuck up!" I have never seen him this pissed off, and it was only making me want to murder him so much more.

"ZAYN! SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH BEFORE I CUT YOUR TONGUE OUT!" That was a pretty serious threat... And he needed to know how fucking serious I was.

"Don't talk to her like that! And Brynn, calm down!" Harry had now emerged from his room from all the commotion "Now what's going on?"

"I want Sam to admit it! I want to hear it come from her mouth." Zayn growled.

"Hear me say what?! God dammit, stop speaking In fucking code!" Sam ran a shaky hand through her hair and yanked.

"Admit you love me!"

"I-you-what?" Sam was lost for words.

Shit.

"how....." My big sister looked at me, her gaze showing signs of hurt. "You told him? You fucking told him?"

Chirst "Sam, it... It just..." I fumbled over my words.

"Oh fuck." Liam stole them right out of my mouth.

"you weren't supposed to tell me?" Zayn quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, causing me to cring.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, feeling smaller than ever.

Notes

here ya'll go xD I'm not even sure how long it is cuz I'm on my friends iPod. But bleh, hope you liked it. I'm not able to update as much as I'd like to... But whenever I get the chance I will do it. Like I said my computer is broken and blah blah blah I won't give you excuses but all I'm gonna say is I'm sorry. I've been going through a lot and I'm trying.

And totally off topic but have any of you read the fanfic "Dark" or "After"? I'm done with Dark and holy hell is that book freaking amazing!!! Sexual and dark but amazing. Same with After. If you hadn't read either of them... I highly recommend them!! If your in the mood for something cute, dark, sexual, sad etc. but just a warning, if you are 14 and under you probably shouldn't read it... Lol but hey! Not gonna stop you xD their both good fanfics. Love you all... And do t forget to Comment, Rate, and subscribe! We are getting more and more comments and rates... It makes us happy so please keep doin so!!! I will work on getting that video for ya xD jk, but seriously! Comment , rate, and subscribe!! Byyyeeeee.