"Hello?" I said, answering my phone. My mouth was full of French toast -- that I had made, thankyouverymuch, because Harry got "distracted" and "accidentally" burned the pancakes he was frying on a skillet.
I think he just missed my French toast.
"Hey, Evan! How's London?!" my friends (mates?) screamed through the phone. I held the phone away from my ear and made a face, which caused everyone else to laugh. I apparently have a tendency to make the weirdest faces on the planet - or so Harry says. But to be honest, I really shouldn't listen to him when it comes to my face. That's a whole other story I won't even bother getting into. But I will, trust me.
"Well, I was doing fine because it was peaceful. Until you went and made me deaf in one ear," I said, yanking on my earlobe.
"I hear laughing! Who are you with?!" Elsa shouted.
"People that I know. Why do you keep shouting?!"
"Because you didn't call us yesterday! We're dying without you!" Aubrey shouted.
I put my finger to my lips and looked at the lads. They nodded, so I put my phone on speaker and set it in the middle of the table.
"Well, I'm eating, so I put you on speaker. Whatever you say can be heard by the people I'm with, so don't say anything stupid. Especially you, Aubrey. You don't want to sound-slash-look stupid in-front-of-or-whatever these people, trust me." I said.
"Fan?" Niall mouthed to me. I nodded.
"Any One Direction sightings yet?" Aubrey shouted. The boys looked like they were about ready to die, they were trying not to laugh so hard. Niall was shoveling food into his mouth to muffle his guffaws. Louis was biting his lip. He eventually had to leave the room to laugh.
"Hellooo...? Are you still there?" a male voice came through the phone.
"Yeah, I'm still here," I said, still trying not to laugh so hard that I was crying. "I just... um, fell."
"Evan? You sound constipated," the voice said. "And you don't fall. Ever."
"Well, in London, I'm clumsy. Deal with it," I said, picking up the phone and holding it to my ear. I turned it off speakerphone."Who is this anyway?"
"Dusty. Did you seriously not recognize my voice?" he asked. I could practically see the smirk on his face.
"Dusty!" I said, my eyes getting wide. I did an epic facepalm and probably left a mark. "You sound different! Do you have a cold or something?"
"Um... no? This is how I usually sound."
"Oh. Well, I guess I've never talked to you over the phone, so.... yeah," I said awkwardly. "Well, I'm eating breakfast right now so I gotta go bye!"
I hung up before he could answer and put my phone on the table, picking up my fork and shoveling food into my mouth.
"Who was that?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.
"A lot of people, actually," I said after I swallowed. "They're my friends back in America."
"But who was the last guy?"
The boys were looking back and forth between us like they were at a tennis match.
"You heard his name. He's a friend of mine, and it doesn't concern you." I said defensively.
"Yes, it does."
"No, it doesn't."
"Yes, it does!" he argued.
I threw my napkin on top of my plate and stood up. "My life, my choices, my friends," I said, staring at him icily. "My definition of a friend is someone who can accept who I am and what I do and won't try to control me. My business is not your business and that's how it's going to be."
"Ooh! You got told!" says Zayn, pointing at Harry. I glared at him, too, and he shut up.
I picked up my bag and shoved my phone inside of it, then pushed in my chair. Then I remembered something.
"Goddammit," I muttered. "You know, I would leave, but I it's boring at home alone and I have nothing I need to do anyway. Wait....." I trailed off. "I lied. I do have something I can do, but it can wait."
"What do you need to do?" asked Niall, shoving more food in his mouth.
"Buy you a shovel, because that's nasty," I said, sitting down again. "Just flat out disgusting."
He blushed, looking down at his plate.
"Sooo... what do you need to do?" Liam asked.
"IneedtogoshoppingbutI'mnotgoingtountilI'mnotaroundyouguysbecausethatwouldprobablybeawkward," I said real fast, hoping they didn't understand what I had just said.
"Ooh! I love shopping!" Louis screamed, putting his hands on either side of my head, squishing my cheeks.
"Oooowee? I suwest oo wet go ah mee oh suh-won its ah ad rooze," I said with my current speech impediment.
Harry furrowed his brows, then widened his eyes. "Lou, she's not kidding. Let. Go."
Louis shook his head and rolled mine. "Never!" he shouted.
Harry shrugged and nodded at me. I nodded back slightly, then snapped my head to the right and bit his hand, then, while he was still registering what had just happened, I stood up, turned around, and smacked him upside the head -- hard. Then I fled to the living room right before his reflexes kicked in and dove behind the couch, rolling to soften the blow to my head. I peered out from behind the couch, probably looking a bit like an alligator.
I saw Louis swipe at the air, then turn in the direction that I was. Everyone facing the same way that I was turned around and stared at me open-mouthed. Everyone else was already doing that. I stuck the rest of my head above the back of the couch and grinned.
"Hi!" I said cheerily.
"When did you get reflexes like that?!" Harry asked, bewildered.
"When I moved. I took a self-defense class and I was on the track team, so yah," I said, standing up and straightening my hat. "Oh, and I'm in gymnastics now, too."
"Oh, so now you're sporty," Harry said sarcastically.
I just grinned.
"So I heard something about shopping!" Louis said, moving back to our previous topic. "Are we going?"
"No," I answered immediately.
"Aww! Why not?!"
"Because I don't want to. I need to, but I'm not. Not today, at least," I replied, walking around the couch and back to the table.
"Puh-leeeze?!" Louis begged.

Notes

Sorry it's at kinda a cliffhanger, but you know how it goes. I have a report on the Civil War to write still, and I haven't even found a website to use. And I still need to shower. And my report is due tomorrow. And I've had since yesterday to write it. I've been procrastinating!
I have BIG BIG BIG news to tell you guys, but I won't because it's not set in stone yet and I'm still debating whether to surprise my friend (who IS doing it) or to tell her. I'm SOOO nervous for it, though!
Guess, I dare you. Below, in the comments.