You Have Me

I haven't seen Harry since late afternoon. He's called and texted, checking up on me like a zealous mother. He and the rest of the guys have a meeting or something, I didn't quiet know, I just knew it was something he didn't want to do. It had taken the better half of, almost three hours to convince him that I'd be fine alone. He had only agreed to go when I had promised not to leave the hotel's premises. And I wasn't stupid. I had no idea where anything was. I didn't know anyone besides the guys and a few members of their security team. So really what choice did I have besides staying inside my room and watching reruns of True Life. I had shut the door when Harry had been dragged out. I didn't want him coming back in if he had changed his mind. I would open it when they had returned, obviously, because whilst they're on tour they all share a floor. Meaning that most of the daytime is spent with their doors open so they can filter in and out, making it like one big apartment space. It’s no exception now, that I've lost my mind. But still. I'd rather keep the door closed more often than not. Especially when I'm alone.

And just as Lindsey (a very intelligent pole dancer, who is smart and only does exotic dancing to pay for school) is about to confess her occupation to her mother, there's a soft knock on my door. It was probably Harry. I knew he'd be home soon, but I'm wondering why he didn't just use his key? I pulled the covers off of my body and stalked over to the door. I was fully prepared to ask Harry how his day went, when Lilly bypassed me, and walked inside the room.

And well. Fuck.

Fuck me straight to hell.

"Lilly? I thought you left?"

That's what Harry had said. He said, well more like screamed at me (which he spent two hours apologizing and groveling, just so I'd speak to him again) that I wasn't allowed to speak to Lilly without him, and that he had made sure she had left before he had, because he didn't want to risk her sneaking off to see me, when he wasn't here to protect me. Which I think I completely unnecessary. She's my sister.

"I wasn't going to leave without seeing you first, B."

God, this version of Lilly was so foreign to me. She seemed oddly, taller. Her hair was wavy and barley touched her shoulders. She was a fucking grown up now, and I can't believe I wasn't there to see her blossom. Life, my life, anyways, sucked on new levels.

She pinched her bottom lip with her thumb and pointer finger. Her diamond ring shinning. Oh, okay. "You're married?" Her mouthed formed into an o shape. She pulled her hand away from her face and her cheeks flushed red. And what? Since when is Lilly coy? Never. She's never been coy.

"No. Not married. Not yet. I'm engaged, to a wonderful man. Oh B. You'd love him." I would? And this is where I hate this whole amnesia thing the most, because how would I know what I would love? Who the fuck do I trust? "Listen Beth, we don't have a lot of time to talk. I need you to pack some of your things."

"What.....no..hu?"

Lilly turned back to look at me. She gave me the 'are you stupid' look. She turned back around grabbing my suit case (and how she knew the vintage one was mine, I'll never know. But it is a little frightening) she began throwing my clothes in from this morning. "Beth we're going home."

“Oh, over my dead body, are you seriously fucking kidding me?”

I spin and surely enough Harry's at the door, being held back by Louis and Niall with hands on each shoulder. And shit, because I don't think it's going to end well. No, not at all. Harry's struggling against his two band mates presumably to kick the shit out of Lilly, but okay, Lilly's not bothered.

“Beth, c’mon,” Lilly, pulls at at my arm insistently. “We need to go home. Come with me.” She's admittedly sounding a little desperate, but I think it's because she just wants me to go with her. Now. I'm not even sure why.

"Get away from her." Harry warns. He shrugs the two hands that don't belong to his body, away. He's quick at my side, pulling me away from my sister's grasp and hugging me close to his body. And I'm a little worried by how much I like being so close to him.

I'm quickly becoming aware of my surroundings – aware of what’s going on – and I'm turning in Harry's arms pushing Lilly's hands away. “No, Lilly. I’m not going with you tonight,” I say firmly. I don't even know how or why I'm taking Harry's side. I just know that right now, I don't feel okay with leaving Harry and the rest of the guys. I mean, Lilly wasn't even at the hospital. How was that okay?

Harry takes my hands back, fingers interlocking with mine like he knows, how much I secretly really, really, like. Lilly takes one look at our clasped hands and rolls her eyes. “Don’t be stupid, Beth. Come home with me, I need you.” I wanted to laugh at that, she needed me? I needed her at the hospital. I needed someone I remembered, someone I knew. If she couldn't do that for me, then why should I do this for her.

I snap and Harry’s grip tightens. “No, I don’t want to go with you. I don't even know you anymore."

"How can you say that? I'm your sister B.!"

"No my sister, would've been at the hospital."

Lilly's stunned , probably because I had just spoken to her that way, but she doesn’t have a chance to respond because suddenly a big burly man is grabbing her arm pulling her towards the door. She turns her head ready to speak but Louis cuts her off. “That’s enough! Go and get your shit together.” She's thrown into the hallway and proceeds to bang the door behind her.

"I'lll be back! That's my little sister and she's coming home with me!"

She slams her fist into the closed door. I can hear her heels clanking furiously against the floor. I turn my head and bury my face in the crook of Harry's neck. He brings his hand up and rubs soothing shapes along my back. Would it be weird if I began purring at the delight of being comforted by Harry?

Yes. Yes it would.

"Keep that women away from Beth. Understand?"

I thought he was speaking to the rest of the guys, but as I turn my head ready to argue that it wasn't necessary the big unknown man speaks. "Yes sir. It Won't happen again." Harry's hand squeezes my hip."See to it that it doesn't." The big man walks out, and closes the door behind him.

Eventually I manage enough self control to move away and give myself enough distance to think clearly. I scrub a hand over my face. I let a tired breath out. "That was exhausting,embarrassing, and so, fucking confusing, because I should trust Lilly right? Like I shouldn't of asked any question, I should've done what she was asking. Because she's my fucking sister." And for the billionth time this week I feel like my whole shitty world is falling apart.

"No, of course not. It doesn't matter if she's your sister. You knew something wasn't right, and you followed your instincts. Don't ever feel stupid, for doing what you feel is right." Harry says. I'm sure he thinks he's conforming me, and usually he does. But right now, I just want to sleep for a hundred years.

"I'm going to go after her."

I move away before Harry can get a grip on me. I run past him and make it to the door where Liam suddenly steps in front of me, and it's almost like the movies, because I literally run in to his shoulder and he hoists me up.

"Jesus, fuck Liam! Put me down!"

He slaps my ass and chuckles. "Watch it Payne." Harry says not finding it as funny as everyone else. I'm not amused either. I'm completely embarrassed. Damn. I really, really, really wish I had left when I had the chance. He sets me down in front of Harry. He places his hands on my shoulders and our eyes connect. And it's not fair, because he has the type of eyes, that I tend to get lost in.

And I always do. "Harry please, I need to find Lilly." I beg and I'm desperate now, because by now she probably hates me, and that is really, really sad. He shakes his head and cups my cheek.

"If you had your memory back, I know you wouldn't even be considering it. So just, trust me, okay? Can you do that? Can you fucking trust me like you used to?"

I can't refuse anything, when he talks to me like that. But I fucking wish I could. I nod and I'm amazed at how quickly my eyes have filled up with water. "It's okay, baby. Baby it's okay. It's okay." He coos and engulfs me in his arms. And maybe it was okay, if Harry was going to be here to make it okay, then I'd be okay.

Maybe, I don't know.

Notes

Yass