You Have Me

Beth met Lucas when she was sixteen. Lucas was eighteen and graduating. He was smart and conniving.
It wasn't one of those 'quiet, lonely, girl seeking love from the popular golden boy' it wasn't supposed to be like that. It was inconviniet. And by inconviniet I mean unexpected. Unexpected because you read about these type of relationships and you see them unfold in the movies.

But this was life. This was Beth's life.

And in Beth's mind, it didn't make sense for Lucas to love her. It didn't make sense for anyone to love her. Her family didn't, who's to say anyone else would.

But then Lucas would whisper nice words she'd never hear. How 'he didn't care that she wasn't popular' and 'how much he loved her and all he wanted to do was protect her from her family's torture' looking back at it now, Beth feels embarrassed and so cliché.

A million-unforgivable levels of cliché.

So with all the doubt that was running through her mind (and it was a shit ton of doubt) she accepted and she enjoyed.

It was different. Almost unreal. Like when Lucas would walk up behind her and hug her tightly to his chest. His hands rubbing against her stomach. Or when Lucas would grab her hand and kiss the back of it, just because he could. And then there were those times where Lucas would ask how she felt, like he actually had interest. And it was like for once it mattered how she felt.

So she'd talk. She'd explain how bad she'd feel, how hard she'd been trying, not to hate Lilly. She'd smile briefly and explain that her pride hurt worse than the bruises and how if something horrible were to happen (God forbid) she'd still do everything she could to find a way to save anyone of them.

Lucas would shoot her a look, that would make her laugh. She'd merely explain "I tend to love people who like to hurt me." That's when Lucas would tense for a split second before going back to normal. It should have worried Beth and if she were in the right mind, it would have.

Except that was just it.

She wasn't. She didn't want to be, if it meant she'd be alone again.

So she'd burry it deep down, where she wouldn't have to think about it.

So deep that it every time they'd walk down the hallway and everyone would snicker and stare, she wouldn't think about it. She'd just focus on the way Lucas' hand felt warm and safe in hers.
It was nice for the first three weeks. Lucas was nice.

Until he wasn't.

Beth was never jealous. She prided herself on not being on that level. And now, her never feeling angry or threatened by another girl should have been the biggest red flag.

But that's how it was. She was never angry. She never saw red. Even when Lucas eyes would linger on every passing girl that would walk by. Or when a random text message would light up his phone with words no family member would send.

That didn't matter (except it really should have) she wasn't alone and it was worth it. No mater how much she knew it wasn't. Someone was finally holding her hand and listening.

****
It was the second month when Lucas brought it up.

"It'd be the ultimate commitment of our love. " Lucas would say as Beth would question everything. He'd grasp her hands and and remind her everything he's ever said or whispered. Manipulation is what others would call it. Beth would call it perseverance.

Stupid, stupid Beth. So young and so messed up.

It was the fourth time he asked that she gave in. She should've asked why he needed proof, why having sex was so important. Instead she kept her mouth shut and made her self believe this was the only way to finally proof something.

And if everything was fair, she wouldn't have had to proof anything. To anyone. But it's not and nothing is ever fair.

It was painful and it didn't last long. As soon as they were finished Lucas got up and redressed. He mumbled a meaningless excuse and walked out. Beth was alone and sore. Embarrassingly sore. She redressed with a few winces and tears, because she knew--she didn't know how or when--but she knew she had just fucked up. And I mean--beyond repair, fucked up.

****
She figured it out three days later. When her phone beeped with a new video and a mean message. It didn't have a name and she's glad it didn't. She might have committed murder if she knew who it was.
The pictures didn't show much. It was mostly Lucas' back as he was on top.

It was the video that was hell. Lucas was obviously enjoying it. His groans and quiet moans gave away as much. It was Beth who was mortified. She looked clearly uncomfortable, maybe slightly in pain.

Weak was what it screamed to her. Nothing but weakness.

All everyone saw was the uncomfortable and awkward sex. No one knew how bad Beth felt. How stupid and devastated she was. The one blessing was that her family didn't hear anything. Lilly having graduated the year before. It wasn't much. It wasn't anything at all.

Lucas was the man. Lucas was given praises and complements. Beth was given judgment and disgusted glares. It felt like she was surrounded by hundreds copies of her father.

The faculty found out. They didn't care. They just said Beth should've been smarter. That she shouldn't have been so ready. Lucas was given a week of detention. And Beth was left traumatized.

The day before Lucas was due to graduate she cornered him. She asked why and demanded answers. Answers she clearly deserved. Lucas shrugged and mumbled something about her being a pretty face with a nice body.

He called her pathetic and sad. That she needed therapy and a life. He then thanked her for the fun night, hoping she had enjoyed herself. He walked out and never looked back, as he graduated the next day and then left. Beth was left to deal with the aftermath and everyone's opinions.

That was when Beth changed.

Two and a half years later she met Harry, and lost her mind.

Stupid, stupid Beth. So young and maybe not so alone anymore.

Notes

This was the best way I could think of to explain why Lucas sucks on so many levels! Cause he does. He really fucking does. I hope I clear up any confusion you may have! (\^.^/)

We should all vote some more, cause it's fun to vote! Yass!