You Have Me

"Why are you so nervous? You're making me nervous. Stop it."

Louis complained as he threw his pillow at me. I rolled my eyes and groaned. Louis is a fucking child.
I'm not trying to make him nervous. I really, don't know why I'm even nervous.

Okay, that's a lie.

I know exactly why I'm nervous.

This is Louis. The same Louis who knows everything I'm feeling before I even feel it. He can read my mind, and I've seen him angry a few times and it's not pleasant. It's frighting as fuck.

"Bethhhhh," Louis drags out my name. "What's going on? Did something happen between you and Harry? You tell me what he did, and I'll shove his head so far up his as-"

"Lou. You can't shove Harry's head up anywhere."

"Sure I can," He shrugs. "I'll bend his body forwar-"

"Louis! Will you please, shut up?" I've never been very patient, and it's hard staying calm when I'm with Louis. Louis narrows his eyes and then turns so his back is facing towards me. His arms are crossed over his chest and his face is tilted upward. He's the definition of sass. "Are you serious right now? Louis, stop acting like a fucking child."

"No," Louis says stubbornly. I'm ten seconds away from slapping his tantrum right out of him. "You're yelling at me, and I didn't even do anything. I don't like you anymore, and we're not friends because you're mean to me."

Forget the slapping. I'm going to stab him.

"Louis." I say tiredly. But he doesn't turn around.

Has Louis always been this much of a girl?

Probably.

"No."

"Louis," I warn. But it goes in one ear, and out the other. "Louis, I really need to tell you something."

"We're only going to be friends again, if you apologize and buy me a soda."

"How about, you turn around, and I won't shove a soda up your ass?"

Louis doesn't respond and he doesn't turn around. And this is so annoying, that at this point I'll buy Louis a freaking horse, if he'll turn around. "Okay, fine," I breath out. I run my fingers through my hair. I'm ready for a nap. A long and delicious nap. "I'm sorry I was mean, and I yelled at you. If you turn around and behave, I'll buy you a soda. Okay?"

Louis' face peaks over his shoulder, and his eye brow is arched. "Any soda I want?"
Is he serious?

"Yeah...sure. Whatever."

His body finally turns, and he's got a big grin on his face. This man is a fucking menace. Him and his childish tactics.

"Okay, we're friends again. You can tell me, now," I roll my eyes, and I'm so happy I can finally sit down. Louis sits in front of me and takes my hand. "What's making you so jumpy?"
I'm really nervous. And I think Louis will handle my news okay. I mean....he's....who the fuck am I kidding?

He's going to kill me.

"I..well you see....I....okay.....yeah I'm.....I didn't....but the-"

"Beth, you're stuttering and it's making my head spin."

"I-I....I'm-"

"Beth wil-"

"I'm pregnant." I blurted. It came out, and it's okay, because if it hadn't of just slipped out, there would be no other way, I'd be able to say it.

"Yeah and I'm the queen." Louis laughs. But its not funny. It's really not. This is completely serious. I'm completely serious. "Why aren't you laughing? I just made a....joke..." Louis voice fades, and he's now starring at me. Like he's concentrating on my reaction. "You really are, pregnant. Aren't you?" He asks quietly. But I don't have to answer. My silence is answer enough. "Beth, are you sure?" I look up and nod.

"Yes," I say softly. "The doctor confirmed it."

"I'm going to fucking kill him!"

Louis stands abruptly, and he's out of the room in a flash. My legs carry me out of the room (and I have to remember not to run so fast, because asthma is a fucking bitch) and I'm frantically looking for any signs of a fight or screaming, and I don't have to look very hard because Louis runs like a damn elephant. His footsteps are pounding hard against the floor.

And after many deep breaths and I'm done panting, I run into mine and Harry's shared room. Louis' head is moving from side to side, searching for Harry. And when he sees him, he runs behind him. But I can't pay attention because my mind goes black and I can feel myself freeze.

I think I might be dying.

"Beth, this isn't good for you. Harry isn't good for you," Louis is desperately trying to convince me, but I'm hopeless and an idiot. "You're hurting each other, Beth. You're not supposed to do that, when you love someone."

"I'm trying Lou. You know I-"

"I know you are, sweetheart" Louis interrupts, "But Harry's not. He thinks you left. He's angry and drunk, and we both know that's a lethal combination."

Zayn, Niall, and Liam walk out looking distressed. Something's going to happen and I know it won't be something good. That much I can tell from Liam's face.

"Harry's on his way, and his pissed," Niall's warning gives me chills. If Harry's on his way, and he's drinking (which isn't uncommon for Harry these days) someone will end up hurt. "You and Beth need to leave for a few hours. Just until Harry cools down and he's sobered up."

"We are leaving. But not for a few hours."

I look over at Louis and it seems like we're all startled. Louis can't do that. He can't force me to leave Harry. I can't make it without Harry. I love Harry.

"I'm not leaving Harry."

Louis looks down at me. His face is hard, and I'm almost positive I don't have a choice. But I'm not going to leave without fighting to stay.

"Yes you are. You've had enough Beth. We've all had enough," I look around and my heart breaks when everyone but Louis' gaze fall on the ground. "We can't keep worrying that you're going to die from exhaustion, or that Harry's going to drink himself into a coma. You need help and the only way you're going to get it, is if we leave for a few weeks. The band will go on a hiatus, and everyone will get a break from this fucking hell."

I don't mean to flinch, but Louis words are harsh and sadly they're fucking true.

"Lou-"

"Just do this for us Beth. Do it for me. Please."

Louis done so much, that if I don't do this for him, I'll be the biggest shit head on the planet. I don't know if I'll make it without Harry. Harry's always been my person. He's....I love him. But maybe we do need this. Maybe if I leave, Harry will get better, and he'll love me again.

And I know it's sad. It's humiliating and it's not supposed to work that way. But what other choice to do I have.

"Ok-....Louis move!"

Everything else happens in a flash. Harry's body bolting towards Louis, with something in his hand. And the only thing I can think of doing is pushing Louis. And then nothing.

Nothing but darkness.

"Beth?... Can you open your eyes?"

Someone holding me right now, and okay. Okay, I'm on the floor? When I flutter my eyes open, I can see green ones peering down at me. Harry. Harry looks worried and his eyes are wide.

What just happened?

"You were so mad. Why were you so mad?"

Notes

I love yass