You Have Me

A few hours pass, some of which I doze on and off because apparently bumps to the head make me tired. But the rest of the time I keep my eyes on the five strangers (who aren't really strangers...except they really are) I'm calm enough that I was finally able to force myself to release Harry's hand. I see the way Louis keeps a close distance to him. He touches him, little touches, like he's reminding Harry that he's there. I see the way Zayn is watching my every move carefully, he doesn't even look away when I catch him looking. I watch Niall/Neil flirt with almost every female who enters the awkward room. He manages to stay close to me, always within reaching distance.

I notice that Zayn's got the most artistic set of tattoos. He's almost got a complete sleeve on his arm. They're colorful and bright and look well planned, unlike Louis' or Harry's who's tattoos look like jumbled thoughts and scribbles.

They all hover, and that's...I don't know, comforting, strange, frighting. Harry keeps moving towards me, and then backs away, like he didn't mean to. Louis keeps his distance from me, staying put by the front of the door like he's keeping watch. His arms are folded across his chest, he looks bored really, even though his eyes are alert.

"So, tell me why you're here then," I ask and Neil/Niall, reaches out and pushes me toward him. "Can I ask you something? And please don't be upset. I'm not stable." He chuckles and nods. He wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Is your name Neil or Niall?" the room is quiet again, and I really, really wish that would stop.

"It's Niall" Niall! That would've been my second guess and that's....kind of sad.

"Niall, why are you all here? If it's because you think I'll sue you, you don't have to worry. I won't, but I really should, because I don't feel like working for the rest of my life." They laugh and I really should remind them that it's not okay to laugh at a confused girl.

I expect Niall to perch on the edge of the bed like Zayn had. So I'm surprised when Niall half-falls next to me, shoving at me until we're lying together, Niall's head resting on my arm. I feel totally and completely awkward but Niall seems pretty comfortable, so I keep still, wondering if these moments of closeness ever get easier.

"No that's not why we're here and no, hopefully no one is suing anyone. We're all close. Like really close. In fact you've been, traveli-" Harry shoves at Niall causing him to stop talking. Liam offers me an apologetic smile and now I'm even more lost. Okay, we're friends? We're close friends? And no, I don't think we are, because I don't have friends ( I really can't stress that enough) and even if I did, I wouldn't have five pop stars as friends. I'd remember meeting them, because it's not everyday some one meets someone famous. "No please keep going." I beg and Harry takes Niall's spot, except he doesn't get as close. He keeps his distance and I'm a tiny bit thank full.

"We're all just friends, yeah? And you're been traveling with us. Your parent's aren't in your life anymore and your sister isn't allowed to speak to you, but it's okay, because you've been okay. And you trust me right?" He sounds so hopeful and his voice is shaky, and I really want to hug him and tell him I do trust him, even though that's a small lie. But I can't so I nod and look away because his face reminded me of a kicked puppy.

My parents aren't in my life? Lilly's not allowed to speak to me? what? No.

"You're lying," I say adamantly and they have to be, because even though I'm not shocked to find out my parent's aren't involved in my life I know they wouldn't just drop me. Lilly wouldn't listen to them. She'd find a way to communicate with me, because she loves me and she's my older sister, and what the fuck? I'm traveling with them? Like some groupie? "There's no way my parent's hate me-and even if they did or do, it wouldn't matter because Lilly wouldn't just stop talking to me. She's my sister and she loves me! And there is no way in hell that I'm traveling with you because I don't know you and you really need to stop lying or you need to leave or-"

"Beth, it's okay."

And it's really not. Because now I don't know whats worse. That I'm confused and have no fucking clue who anyone is or that I have no family. Harry's hand is on my face and okay, it's not comforting and I'm still not breathing normally.

"Okay we're all friends," I breathe out desperately trying to change the topic before I have a panic attack. I turn my face away. A hurt look flashes across Harry's face and I want to cry because maybe-maybe I think harry's too nice and he shouldn't be sad. Not ever. He nods though and maybe he's not too sad. "Do I live with you or...do I have my own place...and god I'm homeless aren't I...fuck"

"No, no ba-Beth. You're not homeless. You live with me" I choose to ignore his word slip, because no way Harry Styles has any reason to use any pet names with me. But maybe he does, because I live with him?

What?

"I'm sorry? What? I live...and you...are we? God my head hurts."

He scrambles forward and soothes my head in small touches, but they don't stop the throbbing or the confusion. "Should I get the doctor?" I shake my head and groan. My life is really unfair. I feel completely off-balance, like everyone knows all these things about me and I'm stumbling around in the dark, feeling my way blindly. And everyone is staring at me, like they're expecting something from me but I don't know what so I can't give it to them.

"No, just keep telling me about my life." I say mournfully and it sucks because no one should forget their life. But harry's shaking his head and he's stroking his fingers gently over my forehead

"No, no we'll talk later, right now rest, and relax. Everything else can wait."

So I sigh and close my eyes. Niall starts filling in the quiet with stories of what they've done or who they've met. Every time it starts to sound too fantastic (Flying across the world, meeting new people, some spat with Taylor Swift that has Louis smiling like it's his birthday. ) I glance at Harry who just nods wryly and pats my hand. The rambling stops when the doctors comes in. Sympathy all over his face. He smiles at me and motions for Harry with his hand. Harry gives me a tight smile before getting up and walking towards the doctor.

They move away from us and into a corner huddled closely together as they whisper.
What ever he's saying has Harry shaking his head and angrily starring at the poor man. But the doctor nods and sighs before writing something down on his note pad and walking back towards us.

Harry takes a deep breath (probably trying to get himself together) he walks back smiling sadly at us and sharing a knowing look with Louis and why don't I know what that look means? And why aren't they sharing it with me? And damn. Damn, damn, damn!

"Okay Bethany, after we perform a few test you're going to be released. It's my understanding that you're okay with, going home with Harry?" He asks, both brows raised on his forehead. I nod because what else can I do really? My parent's absence proves their statement about them not being around and maybe Harry's kind of nice and I don't mind him being around, because I'm afraid that if i say no he'll cry. So I agree and Harry let's a breath out and Louis smiles sadly at the floor and I really wish I knew what or where home was.

Notes

yass