You Have Me

"You didn't have to come with me," I told Harry, placing my hand over his. "But I'm glad you did." I assured him, when his mouth formed into a frown. Deciding to come was the easy part, honestly. But actually willing myself to pack and leave the safety of our hotel room was almost mission impossible. Having to say good bye to the boys-having to say good bye to Louis (because I'd secretly miss him the most) was worse. I can still see the way Niall's blue eyes watered when he learned Harry and I would be gone for four days, and I can still remember how sore my ass got from having to sit him down (for two hours) with a cup of tea and almost a pound of cookies as I swore to him we'd be back. Liam and Zayn had taken it more normally (thank god, because if I had to make tea and find an abundance of cookies one more time I think I'd lose it) both promising they understood and then proceeded to hug us and then Louis. Oh Louis, my poor, forgotten best friend (that I feel more comfortable believing he might have actually been my best friend now) wouldn't let me leave until I had promised that I'd come back with Harry. Saying that if I didn't, he'd find me and drag me back with him. He also said that he wasn't opposed to me returning with my memory.

And honestly if by some miracle that happened, well then, yay. Fucking yay.

"I'd miss you too much, if I had let you go by yourself. Besides it's been a long time since I've seen your mummy," He joked with a Cheshire grin. I laughed and bumped our shoulders together. We were currently sitting in our rented car, because I was a coward and I couldn't bring myself to knock on the damn door.

"It's okay to be scared love. I am." I jerked back surprised. Scared? Why was Harry scared. What? Afraid?

"Why are you scared?" I asked giving his hand a squeeze. He just looked down with flushed cheeks and sighed.

Oh, Harry. Why are you so painfully cute?

"I'm just scared you won't come back with me." He shrugged trying to play it cool, but his eyes gave him away. He really was afraid. And no, I don't like that. I really, really don't. My chest tightened up when I saw Harry's sad puppy face. My heart breaking at the mere thought of not having Harry and the boys around constantly. I couldn't even begin to describe the heavy feeling I was left with when I imagined waking up and realizing Harry wasn't there suffocating me. I didn't like it. No fuck that.

"You don't have to be afraid. I'm going back with you, know why?" He shook his head eagerly and took hold of my other hand. I turned in my seat and faced him. "Because you're my favorite." I added easily. "Besides Louis' said he'd drag me back, so either way I'm at a lost." I joked and leaned over pressing a kiss to his cheek when his bottom lip jutted out. And oh, Harry was my weakness and if the pictures of us kissing wasn't indication enough for everyone to realize Harry had somehow formed into my favorite, well then they needed help. Because Harry was my absolute favorite. And I was 100 percent okay with that. Especially now with his face soft and smiling. His eyes were bright and shinning excitedly. He leaned in and kissed all my worries away. (Well not really, it's just a nice distraction. Like really, really nice)

"Promise?" I don't know what I was promising but if it would keep that look on his face then I'd promise the world.

"Always." I told him smiling at the way his dimples popped out.

Oh, I love those stupid dimples.

This all seemed familiar, almost like we've done this a hundred times before. (The promise thing, not the sitting out in a car because I'm too afraid to go and knock, because honestly this is all, border line stalker.) And right now my tattoo weighed heavily on my wrist (and that's ridiculous because it's a tattoo) and oh, I really need to ask Harry about it. As soon as I stop getting distracted by his face or his mouth. Yeah, as soon as that happens.

"Okay. I'm ready."

I'm not, but I have to get out of this damn car some time.

"We have time, Beth. There's no rush."

"I know, but it's been over an hour. Getting a bit ridiculous."

He chuckled quietly in his seat before nodding and getting out of the car. He walked over to my side and opened my door, because he's a gentlemen (yeah, not because he knew I'd never actually get out on my own. No never) he held his hand out and I placed my shaky one in his. He smiled softly and pulled me out gently. And no, I want to go back in. The cold air rudely made my body shiver and the fact that my estranged family was just a few feet away made my heart jolt. I'm three seconds from collapsing and looking over I can tell Harry's ready to join me on the floor. Fucking shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I knocked on the door and as we're waiting for the door to open Harry pecks my lips for good luck...I think. He leaned his face towards my ear his lips brushing my lobe. "Whatever happens in there, just remember I'll be next to you, okay?" I kissed him quickly as my answer and gave him a final smile as the door was opened and Lilly? Yes Lilly stood on the other side. She didn't bother hiding her surprise as her eyes settled on me and then harden, suddenly when she spots my companion. Well, okay. She doesn't like Harry. Not okay. "B.?" She breathes out and I give her a small smile. "B." She says more confidently and wraps her arms around me. Her hug is familiar and homey and yes, I've missed them. I've missed my big sister. Who wouldn't? Well Harry for one; obviously didn't miss Lilly. Nope. His tense body in no way means 'I'm so happy to see you.' There's a greater chance that his glare actually means 'You're so lucky you're a girl, because if you were a dude I'd knock you on your as.' And that's a bit frighting honestly.

When she does release me (five long, minuets later) she turns and looks at Harry with cold eyes. "Why are you here?" She sneered completely disgusted with his presence her nose up in the air. Okay, this bitch. But unlike me, Harry didn't seem affected. He chucked and reached over wrapping his arm around my waist. His hand resting comfortably on my hip. He smirked up at my older sister who was staring with hard unbelieving eyes.

"You didn't seriously think I'd let Beth come alone, did you?"

She narrowed her eyes and grabbed my hand pulling from Harry's touch. And no, no, no. I let her walk us through the door but as soon as Harry and I were on the other side I dropped her hand, and she turned around with her brows furrowed up by her forehead. Her jaw visibly clenched when she saw me step back and lace my fingers with Harry. And seriously, what the fuck did she think? Harry was the one person I trusted wholly in my state. And yes I know it sounds ridiculous because really it should be the opposite and it should be my family I have no doubts about. But when I think about it and I mean really, really think about it doesn't make sense for me to trust people who couldn't even be bothered to show up when I first woke up. Money has never been an issue for my family (of course I never saw a penny of my fathers wealth but I've heard stories from Lilly) so that excuse was out. Really, the truth was that they didn't show up because they didn't care. So excuse the fuck out of me for trusting five guys who have been there for every minuet I've been awake. Especially Harry.

"So you two are still together?" Lilly asked her voice filled with complete disdain.

And what? First Louis, and now Lilly? What does "still together" mean? Because the last time I checked I didn't have a boyfriend. Before amnesia included. I opened my mouth to ask her what she meant when Harry squeezed my hand and answered for me.

"Yup." He said shortly. He kept his gaze forward as he ignored my questioning look. Okay. Not the time for any more circles. My heads about to implode as it is. We walked a little further and my heart rate sped up the further we moved. This house was a sick joke. A cruel and unforgettable joke. I remember being slapped in the family room, and the dinning room, and in my parent's bedroom. The shoving happened mostly in the kitchen and the hallways when I walked unacceptably slow. Come to think of it, if dad was here and so was Lilly then where was-

"Where's mom?" I asked confused by her lack of appearance. Lilly winced and sighed looking a bit heart broken.

"She left daddy a year ago." Again with the whole 'daddy' shit, come on Lilly your what, 23 now?
I stopped walking and looked at Lilly like she had grown a second head. My mother? The queen of perfection had left my father?

That stupid bitch.

"What do you mean....what.... When....hu?"

"Daddy got sick a year ago, but that was just the push. In all honesty they were unhappy for a long time and daddy had recently found out mom had been unfaithful and well when daddy got sick she didn't see much incentive to stay. And daddy didn't want her anymore. So boom, they divorced and mom ran off with some partner or something?"

I repeat. That stupid bitch.

I looked over at Harry who just nudged me and gave me a sad smile. I guess Harry wouldn't be seeing my 'mummy'. This was way over sad, this was completely depressing and almost novel story worthy. We stopped outside my father's office and a shudder ran through my body. This office was the birth place of my misery. The first slap I ever received happened in here. I always promised myself I'd burn this office to ashes.

And I will. Oh I fucking will.

"Daddy's inside here. But um, don't stare at his hair. It makes him sad. Also be kind, and I know you really don't have any reason at all, to be even pleasant with him, and I know you don't owe me or us anything but please. I'll get on my knees, if you'll promise to spare dad's feelings."

And oh. Oh, she was serious. Her eyes grew wet and her body twitched like she was ready to drop. But that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want any of this. My father getting sick, mom leaving and Lilly getting ready to beg me too be nice. What kind of person would I be if I let it happen. I'd be like them and that's one thing I refuse to allow. I gripped her arm and shook my head no. "I promise." I turned to Harry and buried my face I his jumper. "Can I go alone?" Harry tensed, but only for a second before his hand began rubbing my back.

"You don't need my permission love. We're here to do whatever you feel is right okay? I'll just wait out here with my best mate." He joked making me laugh quietly. I kissed him quickly before turning and putting a hand on Lilly's arm giving her a knowing look. She rolled her eyes but nodded.
This was it. I'd becoming face to face with my dying father. And oh fuck me, if this doesn't go smoothly. But really, when have things ever gone smoothly in my life, before?

Never. So basically. I'm fucked.

I'm fucked straight to hell.

Notes

So much yass. BUT MORE VOTES WOULDNT SUCK EITHER.......YEAH MORE VOTES!