Permanent
Chapter 6
Harry Styles
I settled down on the couch in my hotel suite, overlooking the rest of downtown Seattle’s fine buildings. I probably should have been packed or close to it, considering I had a flight back out to London the next day at 2 PM. I stayed still though, wrapped in a soft overly priced hotel towel after a long relaxing shower. It had been three days since I had last seen Ellie, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind.I had so many questions I needed her to answer. I had been trying to go through every memory in my brain, attempting to figure out the reason for her hostile reaction towards me. I don’t think I ever did anything to hurt her; it was the last thing I would want to do. She was the one who left and never came back, not even visiting for holidays. Part of me wanted to call my mom, but the other half wanted to forget about the whole encounter completely. I had been doing just fine without her. I didn’t need another best friend anyways; obviously she had changed a lot as well.
“Harry! Open the goddamn door!” I heard Louis call before he continued with sporadic bangs on the door.
“Alright, alright Louis!” I yelled, getting up and heading toward the door.
I intended only to stick my head through the crack of openness created by the door and post; however, Louis had a different plan in mind, pushing the door completely open and me to the wall.
“I have been at the door for three minutes. What the hell man?” He said as he opened the fridge of the mini bar. I guess I was so engrossed in the view and locked in on my thoughts that I didn’t hear him at the door.
“Sorry. I guess I didn’t hear you.”
I could tell he wanted to ask me more but he refrained, instead glancing at my nearly naked body. “Good, you’re already showered. I came over to tell you we are going out tonight with Kelsey, the one from Pearlman. She insisted we all go out before she starts the movie with us,” he said. “Oh and I came by to steal your alcohol.”
“We are leaving in twenty minutes. Thanks!” He shouted over his shoulder, practically already out of the door.
Twenty minutes was plenty enough time for me to get ready. Maybe going out would be a good thing to clear my mind. I opted for my usual black jeans with brown Chelsea boots. I paired it with a white button up, a brown coat, and tied my untamed hair up in a patterned bandana. Good enough. With ten minutes to spare, I looked at my phone. It was late in Washington and way too early in England to call my mom. I was relieved I couldn’t buy into my temptations to call my mom; I had to stop thinking about Ellie. Picking up my phone again, I decided to call the one person I should have called earlier.
The ringing stopped after the sixth round. “Harry,” she answered.
“Hey babe. What are you doing right now?” I asked, sitting down at the edge of my bed.
“Just sitting in bed, watching a random movie.”
“Hmm sounds wonderful.”
“It is. What are you doing?”
“Waiting for the boys. We are all going out,” I answered, hoping should wouldn’t freak out.
“Oh. Okay well just don’t drink too much. Okay?” She was always worried about me, even though I gave her no real reason for her not to trust me.
“Don’t worry, babe. Get some sleep. I will call you tomorrow.”
“Okay, goodnight Harry.I miss you,” she said before she hung up.
I ruffled my curls and headed for the door, grabbing my wallet off the side table of the bed. Maybe I shouldn’t have called her; it only caused the gears in my head work harder. Having a relationship at this period in my life was such a difficulty. I had only seen her one week in the past three months. But since we had a three month break before touring again, we would be able to make our trips to see each other. She was a really nice girl and I liked her a lot, but I don’t think she-or anyone- should have to put up with that type of relationship. I couldn’t understand how the other guys did it.
Getting out of the car in front of the crowded club, I saw multiple people notice us while standing in line. Following Liam and the rest of the boys to the girl I now knew as Kelsey, I noticed the same pair of gray eyes I was trying not to avoid. She was standing next to Kelsey and a man I presumed to be Kelsey’s boyfriend, considering his arm was around her protectively. As the other guys said their hellos to Kelsey and moved their way down to Ellie, I stayed put, trying to keep a conversation going with Kelsey’s boyfriend and occasionally glancing to the boys and Ellie. I was about to ask what we were waiting for when someone walked up to Ellie, kissed her on the lips and moved to whisper something in her ear, causing her to smile. One look at him and I had made my decision: Ellie was too good for him. He was blonde, his arms marked up completely with ink. I couldn’t pinpoint what made him unworthy of Ellie at first, but I blamed it on his smug smile stuck on his face. I knew what was going on in his head every time he looked at Ellie. I would admit she was very easy on the eyes, especially with her heels on that night.
We settled for a VIP table in the back and I could tell Louis was already tipsy from the drive over. I wasn’t planning on drinking much the night; I had to keep my eyes on someone. I wasn’t quite sure who that someone was though-myself, the boys, or Ellie and the guy who still hadn’t taken his hand off of her ass. I ended up sitting by myself for the majority of the night, sulking on two drinks, continuously turning down requests to dance, and catching myself staring at Ellie numerous times. She was on the dance floor, hips swaying under the man’s repulsive hands to the vibrating pulse of the music. I don’t know exactly what made me stay, but I kept fighting my desires to leave.
“Hey rock star, you look like you could have some fun. Come with me.” I looked up to find a face full of makeup accompanied by straight long brown hair.
“No thanks. I might head out soon. Have some fun night yourself though, love,” I smiled, making it a point to look her in her brown sultry eyes and not her desperately exposed chest.
She grunted, disappointed by my rejection and turned around. I looked past her to the dance floor to find it was absent of the brunette with the gray eyes I had been watching before. I got up and headed to the restroom in hopes of seeing her on the way over. I made my way through the crowds of sweaty people to be disappointed when I reached the restroom with no sight to Ellie.
After my business in the restroom, I decided to head out. I went to go check on the boys, particularly Lou who was most likely gone by this point. I found Zayn sitting by the bar talking with Kelsey and Kelsey’s boyfriend.
“Hey, I think I’m going to head out now. I’ll meet you and the guys at the hotel. Or I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” I yelled to Zayn over the blasting music.
He nodded and gave me a pat on the back with his free hand.
“It was nice meeting you, Justin,” I said shaking his hand. “Kelsey, thanking for getting me out tonight. I’ll see you soon,” pulling her into a hug.
“Wait, have you seen Ellie? Can you take her home too? I don’t want her going home in a cab and I know Ben is in no shape to take her home,” Kelsey leaned in to tell me.
Damn. I knew there was a reason I needed to keep an eye on her.
“Yeah, I’ll go find her.”
It didn’t take long to find Ellie. I saw her immediately as I walked outside. My ears were still adjusting to the change into the calm atmosphere of the Seattle Friday night; but, I noticed her voice and my eyes sprang to the direction. There she was with her arm held in a tight grip of the blond bloke.
“Ben no! I am not going home with you tonight. You can’t even drive home,” she yelled.
“Calm down, sexy. Just come on,” he slurred as he started pulling her.
“I don’t think she wants to go with you, mate. And you aren’t in any condition to be driving tonight,” I said stepping in front of him to keep him from going on further.
He must have recognized me and noticed his lack of height in comparison to me.
“Fine, whatever,” he huffed, letting go off Ellie’s wrist and walking toward the building. That was a lot easier than expected, but I wasn’t complaining.
Ellie stood there with her wide eyes up to me. I noticed she was shivering as a cold breeze passed by.
“Come on, let’s get you home.”
She barely said a word the entire ride, only giving the driver her address. I wasn’t sure if she was sick from the alcohol or if I had any effect on her.
As we stopped on the curb by her apartment building, I was town on whether or not she was okay to take care of herself for the night or if she needed me to get her inside. When she nearly fell face first on the pavement while trying to get out of the car, I turned to the driver and told him he could leave.
I put my arm around her, steadying her as we walking into the building. We were greeted by a warm smile from the doorman. We walked toward the elevator and she mumbled a “floor 12. Number 8.” Confined in the small elevator space with Ellie under my hold was not in my plans for the night, but as I looked down at her petite body and her eyelids slowing closing, I didn’t mind. The elevator sounded and notified us we were on floor 12. Realizing she was not able to walk, I picked her light body up and walked her to her door. I took her keys out of her purse and opened the door. The apartment was really nice inside. I noticed the building itself was nice, but Ellie’s place was spacious and warmly decorated. I took off her red coat and placed it on a coat hanger to the right of me. I found a room to the left of the living room and set Ellie down in the empty bed. In the light of the bedroom, I noticed the artistic designed etched into her skin. Another way Ellie had changed. She used to hate tattoos when she was younger, and now she had multiple pieced taking up a majority of her arm. They were beautifully done, better planned out than my random collection.
I bent down to take her shoes off and turned to a set of drawers, finding a pair of warm sweats and long sleeve shirt.
“Ellie, open your eyes. Can you change into these?” I asked quietly, trying to sit her up on the bed.
She nodded weakly. I left her room and searched for the kitchen, which was in one of the doorways off the living room. I searched for a bowl for Ellie in case she got sick in the morning. I walked across the living room into the room I placed Ellie in. She was already dressed and laying back down on the bed. I set the bowl down beside her and switched off the light.
“Harry, why did you ask if I remembered you the other day,” I heard her mumble quietly. I thought she was asleep..
“Well because you acted like you forgot who I was. You do remember me though right Ellie? Best friends?”
“No. Don’t remember a lot of things after… accident,” I heard her through her pillow.
“Good night, Ellie,” I said, leaving her door open just in case. I didn’t want to leave her so I laid on the couch. What did she just say? She really didn’t remember me. I would have to ask her about that in the morning. I drifted off into a deep sleep after these past few restless nights. I now was closer to knowing more about Ellie and it relaxed me.
I settled down on the couch in my hotel suite, overlooking the rest of downtown Seattle’s fine buildings. I probably should have been packed or close to it, considering I had a flight back out to London the next day at 2 PM. I stayed still though, wrapped in a soft overly priced hotel towel after a long relaxing shower. It had been three days since I had last seen Ellie, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind.I had so many questions I needed her to answer. I had been trying to go through every memory in my brain, attempting to figure out the reason for her hostile reaction towards me. I don’t think I ever did anything to hurt her; it was the last thing I would want to do. She was the one who left and never came back, not even visiting for holidays. Part of me wanted to call my mom, but the other half wanted to forget about the whole encounter completely. I had been doing just fine without her. I didn’t need another best friend anyways; obviously she had changed a lot as well.
“Harry! Open the goddamn door!” I heard Louis call before he continued with sporadic bangs on the door.
“Alright, alright Louis!” I yelled, getting up and heading toward the door.
I intended only to stick my head through the crack of openness created by the door and post; however, Louis had a different plan in mind, pushing the door completely open and me to the wall.
“I have been at the door for three minutes. What the hell man?” He said as he opened the fridge of the mini bar. I guess I was so engrossed in the view and locked in on my thoughts that I didn’t hear him at the door.
“Sorry. I guess I didn’t hear you.”
I could tell he wanted to ask me more but he refrained, instead glancing at my nearly naked body. “Good, you’re already showered. I came over to tell you we are going out tonight with Kelsey, the one from Pearlman. She insisted we all go out before she starts the movie with us,” he said. “Oh and I came by to steal your alcohol.”
“We are leaving in twenty minutes. Thanks!” He shouted over his shoulder, practically already out of the door.
Twenty minutes was plenty enough time for me to get ready. Maybe going out would be a good thing to clear my mind. I opted for my usual black jeans with brown Chelsea boots. I paired it with a white button up, a brown coat, and tied my untamed hair up in a patterned bandana. Good enough. With ten minutes to spare, I looked at my phone. It was late in Washington and way too early in England to call my mom. I was relieved I couldn’t buy into my temptations to call my mom; I had to stop thinking about Ellie. Picking up my phone again, I decided to call the one person I should have called earlier.
The ringing stopped after the sixth round. “Harry,” she answered.
“Hey babe. What are you doing right now?” I asked, sitting down at the edge of my bed.
“Just sitting in bed, watching a random movie.”
“Hmm sounds wonderful.”
“It is. What are you doing?”
“Waiting for the boys. We are all going out,” I answered, hoping should wouldn’t freak out.
“Oh. Okay well just don’t drink too much. Okay?” She was always worried about me, even though I gave her no real reason for her not to trust me.
“Don’t worry, babe. Get some sleep. I will call you tomorrow.”
“Okay, goodnight Harry.I miss you,” she said before she hung up.
I ruffled my curls and headed for the door, grabbing my wallet off the side table of the bed. Maybe I shouldn’t have called her; it only caused the gears in my head work harder. Having a relationship at this period in my life was such a difficulty. I had only seen her one week in the past three months. But since we had a three month break before touring again, we would be able to make our trips to see each other. She was a really nice girl and I liked her a lot, but I don’t think she-or anyone- should have to put up with that type of relationship. I couldn’t understand how the other guys did it.
Getting out of the car in front of the crowded club, I saw multiple people notice us while standing in line. Following Liam and the rest of the boys to the girl I now knew as Kelsey, I noticed the same pair of gray eyes I was trying not to avoid. She was standing next to Kelsey and a man I presumed to be Kelsey’s boyfriend, considering his arm was around her protectively. As the other guys said their hellos to Kelsey and moved their way down to Ellie, I stayed put, trying to keep a conversation going with Kelsey’s boyfriend and occasionally glancing to the boys and Ellie. I was about to ask what we were waiting for when someone walked up to Ellie, kissed her on the lips and moved to whisper something in her ear, causing her to smile. One look at him and I had made my decision: Ellie was too good for him. He was blonde, his arms marked up completely with ink. I couldn’t pinpoint what made him unworthy of Ellie at first, but I blamed it on his smug smile stuck on his face. I knew what was going on in his head every time he looked at Ellie. I would admit she was very easy on the eyes, especially with her heels on that night.
We settled for a VIP table in the back and I could tell Louis was already tipsy from the drive over. I wasn’t planning on drinking much the night; I had to keep my eyes on someone. I wasn’t quite sure who that someone was though-myself, the boys, or Ellie and the guy who still hadn’t taken his hand off of her ass. I ended up sitting by myself for the majority of the night, sulking on two drinks, continuously turning down requests to dance, and catching myself staring at Ellie numerous times. She was on the dance floor, hips swaying under the man’s repulsive hands to the vibrating pulse of the music. I don’t know exactly what made me stay, but I kept fighting my desires to leave.
“Hey rock star, you look like you could have some fun. Come with me.” I looked up to find a face full of makeup accompanied by straight long brown hair.
“No thanks. I might head out soon. Have some fun night yourself though, love,” I smiled, making it a point to look her in her brown sultry eyes and not her desperately exposed chest.
She grunted, disappointed by my rejection and turned around. I looked past her to the dance floor to find it was absent of the brunette with the gray eyes I had been watching before. I got up and headed to the restroom in hopes of seeing her on the way over. I made my way through the crowds of sweaty people to be disappointed when I reached the restroom with no sight to Ellie.
After my business in the restroom, I decided to head out. I went to go check on the boys, particularly Lou who was most likely gone by this point. I found Zayn sitting by the bar talking with Kelsey and Kelsey’s boyfriend.
“Hey, I think I’m going to head out now. I’ll meet you and the guys at the hotel. Or I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” I yelled to Zayn over the blasting music.
He nodded and gave me a pat on the back with his free hand.
“It was nice meeting you, Justin,” I said shaking his hand. “Kelsey, thanking for getting me out tonight. I’ll see you soon,” pulling her into a hug.
“Wait, have you seen Ellie? Can you take her home too? I don’t want her going home in a cab and I know Ben is in no shape to take her home,” Kelsey leaned in to tell me.
Damn. I knew there was a reason I needed to keep an eye on her.
“Yeah, I’ll go find her.”
It didn’t take long to find Ellie. I saw her immediately as I walked outside. My ears were still adjusting to the change into the calm atmosphere of the Seattle Friday night; but, I noticed her voice and my eyes sprang to the direction. There she was with her arm held in a tight grip of the blond bloke.
“Ben no! I am not going home with you tonight. You can’t even drive home,” she yelled.
“Calm down, sexy. Just come on,” he slurred as he started pulling her.
“I don’t think she wants to go with you, mate. And you aren’t in any condition to be driving tonight,” I said stepping in front of him to keep him from going on further.
He must have recognized me and noticed his lack of height in comparison to me.
“Fine, whatever,” he huffed, letting go off Ellie’s wrist and walking toward the building. That was a lot easier than expected, but I wasn’t complaining.
Ellie stood there with her wide eyes up to me. I noticed she was shivering as a cold breeze passed by.
“Come on, let’s get you home.”
She barely said a word the entire ride, only giving the driver her address. I wasn’t sure if she was sick from the alcohol or if I had any effect on her.
As we stopped on the curb by her apartment building, I was town on whether or not she was okay to take care of herself for the night or if she needed me to get her inside. When she nearly fell face first on the pavement while trying to get out of the car, I turned to the driver and told him he could leave.
I put my arm around her, steadying her as we walking into the building. We were greeted by a warm smile from the doorman. We walked toward the elevator and she mumbled a “floor 12. Number 8.” Confined in the small elevator space with Ellie under my hold was not in my plans for the night, but as I looked down at her petite body and her eyelids slowing closing, I didn’t mind. The elevator sounded and notified us we were on floor 12. Realizing she was not able to walk, I picked her light body up and walked her to her door. I took her keys out of her purse and opened the door. The apartment was really nice inside. I noticed the building itself was nice, but Ellie’s place was spacious and warmly decorated. I took off her red coat and placed it on a coat hanger to the right of me. I found a room to the left of the living room and set Ellie down in the empty bed. In the light of the bedroom, I noticed the artistic designed etched into her skin. Another way Ellie had changed. She used to hate tattoos when she was younger, and now she had multiple pieced taking up a majority of her arm. They were beautifully done, better planned out than my random collection.
I bent down to take her shoes off and turned to a set of drawers, finding a pair of warm sweats and long sleeve shirt.
“Ellie, open your eyes. Can you change into these?” I asked quietly, trying to sit her up on the bed.
She nodded weakly. I left her room and searched for the kitchen, which was in one of the doorways off the living room. I searched for a bowl for Ellie in case she got sick in the morning. I walked across the living room into the room I placed Ellie in. She was already dressed and laying back down on the bed. I set the bowl down beside her and switched off the light.
“Harry, why did you ask if I remembered you the other day,” I heard her mumble quietly. I thought she was asleep..
“Well because you acted like you forgot who I was. You do remember me though right Ellie? Best friends?”
“No. Don’t remember a lot of things after… accident,” I heard her through her pillow.
“Good night, Ellie,” I said, leaving her door open just in case. I didn’t want to leave her so I laid on the couch. What did she just say? She really didn’t remember me. I would have to ask her about that in the morning. I drifted off into a deep sleep after these past few restless nights. I now was closer to knowing more about Ellie and it relaxed me.
Notes
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2/25/17